Rock on

The Red Sox continue to beat the teams they are supposed to going 4-1 over Detroit to start a homestand …

Mike:
This is just the kind of thing you wish for: Arroyo throws 103 pitches (69 strikes) and allows one unearned run on just six hits …

 

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Doug:
Not to take anything away from he of the "high leg kick and shock of blond hair," but what made the difference last night was FranComa finally getting the plug of chew out of his unremarkable ass and pulled the kid at just the right moment, just as he was tiring.

 

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Mike:
Do you think the Francona Crotch is autistic?

 

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Doug:
Oh, he's motherfucking retah-ted for sure.

 

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Mike:
Seriously, what's with all the fucking rocking back and forth in the dugout? It's one of the classic symptoms, you know?

 

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Doug:
Fuck that would explain a lot, like his absence or impairment of imaginative play … FranComa is so unimaginative he makes Jimy Little look like the Bobby fucking Fisher of the baseball chess match.

 

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Mike:
No fucking shit. And maybe that's why Terry shaves his dome — it prevents him from obsessive hair twirling, another common sign of autism.

 

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Doug:
But I thought those autistics were all Rain Man and shit, computing square roots and telling you the GDP of Iceland and what not? The FranComa is dumb as a stone.

 

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Mike:
Ah, that's Hollywood shit, dude. Do you also think Shoeless Joe Jackson lives in a cornfield in East Bumfuck Iowa like in the movie? [Laughs]

 

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Doug:
Fuck next you'll be telling me Babe Ruth doesn't wander around Fenway like the Ghost of Christmas Past in that HBO movie. [Laughs]

 

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Mike:
Anyway, if the rocking helps prevent Francona from blowing more games with piss poor decisions, then I say rock on motherfucker, rock on.

 

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Comments

[JB]

I cannot believe you included Francona's "rocking"! Comedic genius.

[Allan]

Replace Dave Wallace with Leo Mazzone and then we got something!!

[Da Kine]

So if Francona's retahded, what the frig is wrong with Sveum?

[Steinbrenner Killed Kennedy]

When Lowe is on the mound I'm more nervous than someone's whose dog just bit a lawyers kid. Can someone check his dwelling for a bong? There's something missing with this kid and I don't quite get it. Maybe if he commited a haneous crime the "Law & Order" team could figure it out. Any updates on a glimpse of Susan's tits? Hot chicks that dig sports rule. But add a perfect set as well as Jesus-himself designed nipple placement and I'm throwing my back out doing the prison pull. And who would you rather see exposed to a prison rape, Wally or Eric Freed?