Don't fuck with the book learning

The Red Sox vanquish the Blue Jays on a walk off double from the unlikeliest hero, Orlando Cabrera …

Bill:
Thank you Orlando Cabrera! And, yes, we do deserve it.

 

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Doug:
Ah, yes, "redemption." Love that mofo shit. It's Tony Orlando Cabrera and Dawn and I'm knocking 3 times on the ceiling … [Laughs]

 

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Bill:
Man, I'm getting whiplash reading the Dirt Dog this week. It's like he's picking the petals off a daisy saying, "I love them. I hate them. I love them. I hate them."

 

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Doug:
Not that your own Red Sox love has ever flip-flopped, right? [Laughs]

 

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Bill:
Well, you know what they say, being a Red Sox fan is like being in a codependent relationship with a cold hard bitch … 'cept worse!

 

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Doug:
Hey, dude, if you ever need relationship advice, just go to your boy Kerry. He's full of it. [Laughs]

 

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Bill:
Heh. Yeah, says he likes his women "saucy"

 

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Doug:
Shit, I saw that. Trying to figure out if that was honest, a Freudian slip, or a most unctuous overture to his wife the Ketchup Lady.

 

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Bill:
I think Presidential Nominee John Kerry is one cunning linguist. That's what I think. [Laughs]

 

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Doug:
Fuck, yeah, he is. But I bet he had to read the book first. Dining in and eating out don't come natural to the pall bearer.

 

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Bill:
Hey, don't fuck with the book learning, especially considering your guy Bush has nevah read one [Laughs]

 

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Doug:
OK, OK. [Laughs] But the deeper politically important, rock the fucking vote question here is: If Kerry is a supporter of the French mouth music and does like his women saucy, what is his metaphorical sauce of choice: ketchup or Nuoc Cham?

 

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Bill:
Fuck yeah. Someone get Tim Russert on the line. Fuck where you stand on health care. The fucking people need to know where the candidates stand on this box lunch sauce issue.

 

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Comments

[Da Kine]

Kerry doesn't like Asian women. Note that in an unrehearsed moment, the three actresses he picked as the sexiest of all time were all WHITE. I know he has no diversity in his campaign, but can't a brother holla at Halle Berry or Vivica A. Fox? Damn!

[h.b.]

Dang, you didn't get the joke. My bad. Should have explained that more.

It wasn't a reference to Asians but rather the fish sauce, taste and aroma itself. Also was making a subtle allusion to menstruation with the ketchup reference.

So really Doug was wondering how far Kerry, or any other man, really, will carry a zest for cunnilingus. If it smells like fish, is it a dish? The responses, of course, vary among men and, possibly, say a lot about the kind of man one is.

Napoleon, for instance, was said to beg Josephine not to bathe, ever, so that he could enjoy her body odors. Kerry is a confesses lover of French culture, but just how far does he take it? :)

[Da Kine]

Ah! I didn't catch the intended 'musk' humor, but rather thought it was a reference to a supposed predilection the junior senator picked up in his time in the 'Nam. Still, I was looking for an excuse to trot out my diatribe about Kerry not highlighting any black actresses among his faves and am glad I seized the moment. I'm sure he received a sound kick in the nuts from his PR people.

[h.b.]

Ah, I didn't even think of the Viet Nam angle. Just goes to show how what's in my head and what's the reader has in his/her head can be completely disparate.

Re Kerry, I also thought it was kind of interesting that if you go to the Heinz ketchup site, you're presented with a Flash movie of, well,

You'd think they might have a rotating version of different movies with diff type of people, ethnicities, etc. I mean ketchup, of all things, is one product that is used by pretty much everyone regardless of gender, race, or socio-economic class.