The Red Sox get lambasted by the A's 15-2 …
Bill:
I can be noble in the face of an ass whooping. Just watch me. … See. Look, Ma, nothing broken.
Doug:
Not to disrupt your little Buddha fantasy, but this was more than just your garden variety ho hum loss.
Bill:
I know. I know … a season-high 17 hits and the most runs against the Sox since last July 24 in the 15-9 loss to Tampa Bay.
Doug:
Meanwhile, do the Orioles even fucking try against the Spankees?
Bill:
Yeah, Sidney "Super Size Me" Ponson sure is earning his 22.5 million. A regular fucking extra value meal that guy. [Laughs]
Doug:
My hair hurts. Yet tomorrow is full of nods.
Bill:
Hmmm … this optimism does not become you.
Doug:
My previous statements were made in haste. I am hungry and confused. I need a cruller, you know? I love the cruller. Mankind craves the cruller after a 15-2 lashing. But noooo! Those punk ass bitches at Dunkin's stopped motherfucking making that oblong bit of deep fried joy.
Bill:
You know who's to blame? Those effete pricks in Seattle that's who. Turning every decent God fearing red, white, and blue donut shop into a pussy whipped Starbucks. [Laughs]
Doug:
I knew there's a reason why I hated Seattle. Fuck yeah. I've got your grande right here. Bring on Bitchiro.