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Start me up

Well, I enjoy a series with the Yankees as much as the next guy, but I gotta confess I'd prefer to staht off with a few dozen games with the flyovah country teams first...


Seriously, even a RealDoll likes a little foreplay to loosen up first.


You know Selig... wants to be the PT Barnum of baseball... there's no such thing as too much hype.


Bud wants baseball to be biggah than Jesus.


If that's the case, he needs a mini-series and an extremely photogenic Portugese cast in the lead.


The one good thing about stahting off in the Bronx is that we can get the whole Youkilis thing ovah and done with.


So does this mean that Youkilis' brothah is now a Yankees fan?


Youkilis' brother just heard you ask that and he put his fist through a wall in angah ovah your effrontery.


And then Youkilis brother tasted his fist and declared that the sheetrock tasted way the fuck bettah than the crappy Boston sheetrock tastes.



Sexy Jesus, Youk's brother, and Real Doll foreplay. H.B. is in mid-season form already.
This is the first time in a good 20 years my Yankee fan friends haven't been talking shit on Opening Day. They're so dismayed about their chances it's like they've become Mets fans.

I've found that you have to get a RealDoll up to about 125 degrees before it becomes realistically pliable. Results may vary of course.

I'm actually very hyped about this season. I think it's going to come down to the last few games to determine the second wild card. (Lower expectations are fun, no?)

Ah, that 1966 feeling. Mike Burke's stint as GM of the MFYs is under appreciated.(yes I know that Burke did not have the title, just the duties, under Ralph Houk)
Trey Parker and Matt Stone's rendition of Jesus is the standard by which I judge all others ;-) Kinda nerdy, a guy that could be working at a Stop and Shop. (Family Guy, where he also worked at a record store...)

Hey, Good for Youk, hope he has an outstanding year...the RedSox screwed up by letting him go..he did not pull a Damon..

Of course in a perfect world he hits 325 30 HR 120RBI and the Skankees finish dead last.....

We are here, as usual. How great is that?

I'll be listening to the new and devolved radio broadcast at 1:05 . Then, I'll eat something. Then I'll go somewhere's, then ill be on a conference call, then I'll go to sleep.

Then I'll do that 162 times.

I am changing my prediction to 70-92. A one game improvement over last year. Yanks and Sox battle it out for last place. I have tried to track the predictions but have we heard from Harwich Rich, Da Kine, HunterStars, Jim Loomis, or Sonomasox?

Yep - all my Yankee friends have already thrown in the towel on this season. Not a single mocking post on Facebook.

My boss is a MFY fan; he'll be at the game today. He too has already mailed in the season. Let the battle for last place begin!

Old Sox(Youk) versus New Sox at 1pm & exiled Sox at 4pm (Dodgers vs San Fran)...

My dad (yankee fan) puts it this way. Sox-Yankees battle it out for 6th place in a 5 team division. Just as long as it is the yankees finishing behind us.

Nice. And Iglesias and Victorino come through in the clutch.

Still plenty of time for the bullpen to blow it.

Lester won't let the bullpen into this game.

4-2 in the top of the 6th? Bullpen is primed and (not) ready to go.

It was a lofty goal. Let's go bullshitpen!

So far so good.

And they're off....the bttle for 4th and 5th place is underway. Go Sawx.

BASEBALL! REAL LIVE SOX BASEBALL with no smug asshole in the dugout making my blood pressure skyrocket and bourbon consumption enter toxic levels! Life is good, my friends. Would be better if I expected them to win anything other than my respect back, but if wishes were horses, I'd be Catherine the Great (wait, that isn't how that adage goes? ;)

ponch - mid-season form indeed! All we needed was a Ditka reference to hit for the cycle.

Vying for last place or not, a win over the MFY's always feels good. Is that perhaps how a rivalry should be measured? How good a win feels even when the games don't count otherwise?

Fuckin' Miller. Get out of the game.

Ellsbury takes the suspense out of it - sweet. And Jackie Bradley Jr is the new God of Walks.

The Meek God of Walks?

Or will he be the Freak God of Walks?

That's 1.

As the thunder begins in Boston.

He's in much better shape than Youk ever was... maybe the Sleek God of Walks?

He's in much better shape than Youk ever was... maybe the Sleek God of Walks?

First, a pic from the Toilet Bowl in the bottom of the 9th:


Well, a better start than 2011 or 2012. Maybe we should take our ball and go home now.

Beating the mfy always feels good. They couldn't even sell out opening day.

Second, a stat:

In last 75 years, only Jackie Bradley Jr and Larry Walker had 3 BB & 2 R in MLB debut.

Last, schmast. 162 - 0!!!! Fuck yeah!

Sorry the Passover/Easter drunken haze hasn't worn off. In a more sober reality...I'll take 3d place for 82 wins.

I'm with Sonoma,Yazbread.82 wins and 3rd sounds about right(optimistically)

Play of the game was the JBJr walk off of Sabbathia, after being down 0-2 in the count. That broke Slabbathia.

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