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We thought you'd like to know that your order of "Koji Uehara" has shipped.

Bill:
While I know what I'm about to say is a giant fart on Tim Berners Lee's vision of the World Wide Web, let it be known that Christmas shopping has gone from "fear and loathing" to "what a wonderful thing it is to buy presents" for me.

 

Doug:
Likewise. The internet is the killah app for wanton consumerism and a robotic devotion to empty ritual... And I love every click, gesture, and swipe of it.

 

Bill:
Turns out the future doesn't have flying cahs but it does have Amazon Prime free 2 day shipping, and, well, flying cahs are way the fuck overrated.

 

Comments

Totally agreed. Shopping in stores: awful. Shopping on Amazon: fun.

Watching Futurama, reveals that flying cars get stuck in traffic, just like their earthbound predecessors. Imagine that. Me thinks that unless we see Bob Kraft build "Fenway Park at Patriot Place" Fenway will be causing traffic jams for a while, so in 3013, flying cars will be stuck along Brookline Ave. on game nights. Unless they continue to suck, then all bets are off...

Update: I am working on the annual Roger Angell song, but am having a hard time, since I've blocked out most of the entire 2012 season. Not that it matters.

In the meantime in the spirit of giving to me, I reprise a holiday-echoing ditty from September which captures the joy and good feelings appropriate from Jesus' birfday, 2012.

♫ ♫

O Bobby Vee! O Bobby Vee!
Your act is so damn smarmy;
O Bobby Vee! O Bobby Vee!
Joined Larry’s hapless army;
Beckett’s gone, you can’t blame him,
The Red Sox season is so grim.
O Bobby Vee! O Bobby Vee!
I want to swallow poison!

O Bobby Vee! O Bobby Vee!
Much pleasure thou can'st give me;
O Bobby Vee! O Bobby Vee!
The answer ain’t John Lackey;
How often have the Sox sucked balls
If on the road or Fenway’s halls?
O Bobby Vee! O Bobby Vee!
Much pleasure thou can'st give me.

O Bobby Vee! O Bobby Vee!
The Red Sox have no pride!
O Bobby Vee! O Bobby Vee!
Your son stillneeds a ride!
World Series rings a memory!
A smallish beer for 8.50
O Bobby Vee! O Bobby Vee!
How sadly comes September!

O Bobby Vee! O Bobby Vee!
You sit there, so disarming!
O Bobby Vee! O Bobby Vee!
You bike to work each morning!
This team lacks heart, not gay and bright,
But Fenway will sell out tonight.
O Bobby Vee! O Bobby Vee!
Can’t you just go now?
♫ ♫


lc

LC - fucking awesome! I have no other words.


H.B. - thanks for the Postrel article. I still think s flying car would be cool though.


My first experience with online shopping occurred about 10-12 years ago. My youngest fell in love with a giant stuffed animal at FAO Schwartz on a holiday trip to the City. We couldn't get it then, Santa was still prominently in the picture. So when we returned home, I was instructed to take the next day off and drive the 2-1/2 hours back into the City to acquire said toy. Instead, I cranked up the 28000 baud modem, connected through Aol and bought it in the online store. Took at least 25 minutes to complete and aweek to receive. Christmas was saved!

Now I order shit online from my damn phone with one click and have it in 2 days. I guess that's progress... ?

Flying cars,no-flying monkeys,YES!!

Out of curiosity I just checked Amazon to see when my first order is. It was Sept 1997.

I don't think I want to total up my orders though.

I love online shopping. I haven't made any purchase of note from a bricks-and-mortar store in quite some time. Just bought a new mattress on Amazon recently (same brand and firmness as my current one, also bought online years ago). I even get my ice cream online (Graeter's). For someone who generally hates people, online shopping is God's Christmas gift to me.


If any of you need some last minute gifts, may I suggest Spragwerks.com? The guy's jewelry, accessories (amazing belt buckles), etc. are really unusual and beautiful. And not terribly expensive, unless you choose to go that route.

In re: online shopping. I think I am nearly 20 years in. I remember some text based system (before Prodigy-look it up) and discovered I could buy hot sauce from someone in New Mexico. I bought a 12-pack, I still have 3 of the bottles. Such is Internet discipline.

lc

Amazon only provides data back to 1997. My first purchase was a VHS tape in December 1997. From Japan. Sort of a collectible you might say. (Actually 'Tiny Toy Stories' by Pixar).

Despite efforts to block his entry into the afterlife, Robert Bork has died.

He beat us all by two days. Frontrunner.

I bought a car via Amazon back in 2000. I thought the local dealers were about $1000 high on the minivan I wanted. Amazon had a car buying service back then and sure enough, they got me another $1000 off the exact vehicle I wanted, from the same dealer that I had already been to.

Thanks to Amazon, I have the Three Stooges Volumes 1-7, which covers Curly's body of work, and very early Shemp. Volume 8-? Naaah. Like Aerosmith, the Stooges didn't know their act had gotten passe.

Amazon Prime = awesome.


Even at work (custom home construction), if I have to special order something, Amazon Prime beats the crap out of any other supply house.


Given how much xmas shopping went from complete suck to just kind of suck is year, If Amazon wants to go ahead and become SkyNet, complete with AI delivery guys, Im good with that.

Amazon = Skynet


Great observation, Jeff. When did "1-Click to Checkout" become self-aware? Explains the Golf GPS that appeareed in my mailbox a couple days ago. Had just been thinking my father-in-law would like one of those.

In case you hadn't seen it before, here is Kiva Systems' warehouse robots at work. Amazon bought Kiva, a Boston area startup, recently.

Completely cosigned, hb. I did ALL my Christmas shopping online this year and have not set foot in a retail establishment since before Thanksgiving. No horrific Christmas music (why can't they ever play the good, classic stuff as opposed to the unbearable schlock?), no crowds, and it all arrives wrapped. Bliss.

It's great that today's somewhat throwaway strip led to this consensus in the comments.


The other thing I'll add is that Pinterest has made buying gifts for my wife so easy.

no one mentioned the best benefit of all: No sales tax! Although daddy Devalue Patrick's administration finally caught up with that, at least re: Amazon. I may just have to move to NH

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