Loose lips

Lisa the Temp:
Here's the thing about being a temp, peeps, we know things.

 

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Lisa the Temp:
Office workers think, "Oh, it's just the temp, and she'll be gone tomorrow or the next day."

 

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Lisa the Temp:
They get complacent.

 

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Lisa the Temp:
But see it's like this, peeps, we temps are like those Iranian kids in Argo piecing together shredded documents.

 

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Lisa the Temp:
You never know what we'll find.

 

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Comments

[Go Sox, Go Heels, etc.]

Wait a second... hb, are you Donald Trump?

[Louclinton]

Cool matrix

Lc

[HunterStars]

Alternate theories on h.b.'s identity:

Mitt Romney- their both calling it quits at the same time

Ben Affleck- finally getting respect in the film industry

Matt Damon- everyone knows he's the one with the brains

Drunk Nate Silver- leaving sabermetrics once and for all for life in politics

RZA: genius behind the Wu, loves poetry and weed

[Bob]

In the spirit of Ayn Rand selfishness, KEEP.

[SAC]

Lincoln called. He wants his matrix back:
End slavery? Or legalize MaryJ? It's Agony!

[Natalie]

All I get is a blank gray screen when I click on the link in the last panel. I has a sad.

[Kev]

Natalie, it's a direct link to a PDF, so try right-clicking it and use "save target as" or similar. If you can't open it after saving it, you probably need a new version of Adobe Reader.

[Scott]

hb Take some time off and visit Colorado this off-season in order to mull it over.

[Bob]

You know how people retire, and then die a couple weeks later? I think you should at least produce Soxaholix on a "volunteering-at-the-community-center" basis. You know, every now and then, when things are interesting.

[Elbo]

A vote from NYC to keep it up. We all enjoy it and regret that none of our fellow Yankee fans can produce anything this good.

[Billy Mahty]

Either way I hope ESPN broadcasts a special with The Decision when h.b. makes up his mind.

[Natalie]

Ah...thanks, Kev. That worked. I feel as though "Really? Ever since the
World Series in 2004
you’ve been drifting away.
Did you even watch an
entire game this season?" is directed squarely at me... and I have no comeback, bc sometimes truth = painful. I would be seriously bummed if this site came down, but not surprised or blameful. Things come and go in cycles. If it does end, could we at least get an extended "greatest hits" revisitation of the best strips for a month or two... sorta like an Oscars "Who Died This Year" montage with chances to re-comment?

[buckner was framed]

I have to dispute the notion that 50-75% of us creeps would despise the 'real' you. As someone who has met and shared a beverage or two with 8 or 10 of my fellow regulars to this space, I can tell you that they have all been nice peeps. I imagine you would fit right in.

Of course, they could've hit the chronic before meeting me which may have skewed things a bit

[ponch]

You forgot to calculate the effect it'll have on David Pinto if you pull the plug.

[ponch]

You forgot to calculate the effect it'll have on David Pinto if you pull the plug.

[da kine]

If my math is correct, the quit and keep count came out even. Does a tie go to the runner?

[Jeff in NC]

Uh.. HB... Uh.. How exactly are keeping the strip and smoking more dope mutually exclusive? Do you need better pot? Dispensaries are coming!

- Dazed and confused here in nc, waiting for the closing bell so one can get all "potted up on weed" (look it up.. Foxnews guy quote.. Highlarious)

[Rob in CT]

This entire discussion just makes me sad...

The strip and the creepy commenters are the only thing that get my day rolling for me. Client-required drug panels, etc. prevent me from turning to the chronic (assuming I really *do* wish to continue a day job). Good scotch is too expensive to down with the required frequency. Man, I'm running out of options.

Yeah, I know -- self-centered and selfish perspective. Altruism flies out the door when money goes "innuendo", or something like that. Isn't that what Karl Marx said? No wait, that was Groucho...

[yazbread]

Temperature's rising
Fever is high
Can't see no future
Can't see no sky

[sonomasox]

HB - If I have to stand outside your house, with a boombox raised over my head playing awesome '80s love songs for you to keep turning out creepy strips on a daily basis...well, goddamnit I'll do it. For the love of country of course.

[Yankee fan in Seattle]

I'm a big fan of Soxaholix. I'm a big fan of cannabis. They both expand my mind. They both expand your mind, HB. There's nothing mutually exclusive about them.

So... how about this? Do it like an approaching-the-end-of-his-career player would. Take a break until pitchers and catchers report. If you feel like picking it up again, great. If you don't, you can always announce your retirement just before Opening Day. If I were a Red Sox fan after the 2012 season, I'd be down about things too. (I hope you continue... Soxaholix is one of the smartest, funniest, most literate bright spots on the Internet.)

And, either way, get one of those new medical marijuana certifications.

[turkey feathers]

This is one of the best and most interesting corners of the Sox universe - the third base of Sox journalism. Take a break if you like but please don't retire.

[– bg]

Take the winter off. Work out, get your timing back. See how you feel in the spring. Out here on the west coast we need a creepy BoSox-centric place to lurk. Can't go to The Connecticut Yankee (SF,CA) every night...

[cmdrflake]

Ah, memories of a sexy therapist, who told me I needed to re-invent myself. So, I did. I gave up on Molson Export and C.C. and went to Bud and Cutty (winter)or Meyer's 125 spiced (summer), which means that Meyer's, or Captain Morgan dark are my means of dealing with a mediocre/downright awful pair of seasons from the Sox.
People DO live after retirement. I gained 25 lbs. And, with nothing out here in Mudville, that I would grovel for, I am not looking to work on the books. Jobs are too much work for my taste. hb, remember that quote from Marv Levy, last successful Mudville Bills coach posted yesterday. Still true, bro...

[Bob]

See, here’s the thing. Soxaholix is part of my life now. Not a creepy, overly-important part, but it’s what starts my engine in the morning, and takes my mind off all the shite going on around me when I check in during the rest of the day. I’ve met several of the regulars in real life, and I like them a lot. And of course, Soxaholix itself is just plain great. On your worst day, H.B., the strip is still pretty amazing. And on your best day, it’s unforgettable.

Those are all the rational reasons I want Soxaholix to continue. But maybe the most compelling reason isn’t rational at all. I don’t think the people who come here just enjoy Soxaholix; I think sometimes we NEED it. It’s therapeutic, but not in an earthy-crunchy, kumbaya sort of way. It’s more like having a beer with your best friend and saying things you wouldn’t tell anybody else. But in the way best friends talk about stuff: like they don’t care, when they really do. Sometimes that talk is about the Red Sox, sometimes it’s not.

I guess ultimately I don’t want Soxaholix to end because I don’t want THIS to end. Because this is about the only place I could feel comfortable saying that I just had to leave my office and go outside to release a couple of gut-wrenching sobs that just hit me like a ton of bricks. I sure as hell wasn’t expecting that, I guarantee you.

Maybe that’s why we’ve all been joking around so much as H.B. makes his decision. Because here, we’re best friends. And it’s much easier to act like we don’t care, when we really do.

Have a great weekend all. Hopefully we’ll have something fun to yak about on Monday. And some place fun to do it.

[Steve in MD]

If you guit, CHB wins.

[Bob]

The only way CHB wins is if we all blow our brains out at Babe Ruth's gravesite.

[cmdrflake]

Naah, Bob. The Babe's grave ain't the one you do that on.
I won't name any names, but just think of whose grave I'd desecrate. Problem is, he ain't dead yet.
"I can't take him!"
"Why not?"
"'E's not dead!"
"I'm feeling better."...

[Natalie]

Amen, Bob. And co-signed.

[h.b.]

Great comments all. And much appreciated.

Also I appreciate the suggestions including take a long break etc.

All good.

And while I'm still mulling it all, I realized this morning that if I'm coming up with storylines about Lisa the Temp finding Hart's confidential memo and chuckling to myself over it then, well, that's pretty creepy and, you know, easier said than done regarding walking away.

[David]

Do it or don't....

[soxdownunder]

Lisa the sweet temp
In Brachen's private drawers
Winter Approaches.

[buckner was framed]

brilliant, Bob. Captures what many of us are saying. You should go into advertising or something

[dustbunny44]

Suprised I didn't see this pairing: Keep: they like it / Quit: it's more dreary work for me. HB, you got the best graphic Sox blog in the universe, if not the best baseball blog. Don't go all Calvin and Hobbes on us. We need you! Besides this, what've we got now - memories of fried chicken stains and beer burps from the last 14 months? I''l even tolerate Clam Shack ads in a discreet corner.

[Jeff in NC]

Stop.. Dont.. Stop..dont...stop..dont stop. Campaign season being over, are rape jokes still bad?

[Lazlo Freem]

If you quit, the Sox will become interesting again and you'll have creative bursts that will have no outlet.
If you continue, they will be a boring .500 team and even the sticky icky won't make it interesting.

All this indecision is clearly due to the film that insults Islam.

[steff66]

I live in Fort Worth, work overnights, during the week, I would stay up past my bedtime 0900ct, just to read your strip. When I woke up at 1600ct, I'd log back on to read the comments. I feel like I know everyone, but with the skewed image of what you look like, Jeff in NC is tall, lanky, little bit of salt and pepper in the hair, Natalie is a brunette, trim and fabulous...on and on. hb, I never try to visualize you. But, we're ball-busting friends and/or family you can pick on but no one else can or we'll kick their a**.

[jfm]

You mean you don't wake and bake and then write the strip? I didn't see that coming.