We come to bury the Red Sox...
Bill:
Well, this is it...
Bill:
Aftah what seems like 1000 and 62 games, the Red Sox can at long last gently go into that good night.
Mike:
Yep and no burning or raving or raging against it for this crew.
Bill:
Nope. This group not only had time to stop for death, they had time to kick back and wait for it.
Mike:
Yeah, and when death finally did show up they were all, "Wait, you didn't bring the fucking chicken?"
As Clarence Darrow said, "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
Posted by: Bob | 2012.10.03 at 08:56 AM
I am so fucking pissed at that manager. What's his name again? Veet?? Why the fuck did he pitch the closer Bailey in the blowout game on Monday when he might need him fresh to steal one from the Skanks Tuesday? That manager has to go!!
Posted by: Scott | 2012.10.03 at 08:58 AM
re http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2012/10/rip-jeter-drinks-wine-coolers-the-strange-new-civility-of-red-sox-fans/263073/ maybe it has something to do with the standings?
Posted by: Paul in DC | 2012.10.03 at 09:02 AM
Does Bobby V even survive the week?
Posted by: COD | 2012.10.03 at 09:18 AM
Well done, hb. God I hate this team.
Posted by: soxinsix | 2012.10.03 at 09:24 AM
I can't wait for the post-firing press conference. Somehow I get the idea that Valentine is just going to straight up steal from Richard Nixon and say, "you won't have Bobby Vee to kick around anymore because. gentlemen, this is my last press conference." Then he and his dog Checkers II will leave the clubhouse via the Red Sox helicoptor. Valentine will flash the dual victory finger gestures and then, thankfully, go off into history or AAA. Whatever.
Posted by: Steven | 2012.10.03 at 09:36 AM
Is it even possible to have an ounce of self-respect for yourself after you walk Cervelli? I say it is not.
Posted by: ponch | 2012.10.03 at 09:50 AM
I demand a Viking funeral for the 2012 Sox: burn the boat with the captain (Roberto Veet) in the middle of the raging inferno, and launch the fucker out to sea....
Posted by: Natalie | 2012.10.03 at 10:11 AM
Dicey is gonna throw the gyroball tonight. He's been saving it.
Posted by: Ogie Oglethorpe | 2012.10.03 at 10:13 AM
Sayonara Dice-K. We hardly knew ye.
Posted by: yazbread | 2012.10.03 at 10:16 AM
The idea of a Viking funeral is one I heard about from Hunter S. way back when.
"I'm going tohave amodernvikingfuneralmybodywillbestuffedintoarocket..(laughs)an'then BOOM! that'safuckin'funeralfortheages."
Then, break out the Cutty.
Next Sox skipper? I say try Arnie Beyeler, he knows this team having managed almost all of 'em at Quohag!
Posted by: cmdrflake | 2012.10.03 at 10:21 AM
Let's not forget that the Sox still have a chance tonight to make the Yankees' life a living hell.. Yanks loss and O's win means one game playoff between the two, loser facing one-game elimination against Oakland or Texas.
Or is there no way in hell that's happening?
Posted by: Billy Mahty | 2012.10.03 at 10:26 AM
Tonight's game will be over by the third inning.
Posted by: yazbread | 2012.10.03 at 10:31 AM
Best-case scenario tonight: O's win, Sox beat the Yanks in 24 innings.
Posted by: Chops | 2012.10.03 at 10:34 AM
Billy Mahty, don't sweat it. This team doesn't have the pride, heart or chutzpah required to make the Yanks life hell tonight. You'll be just fine.
Posted by: Natalie | 2012.10.03 at 10:38 AM
Jesus fuck. Did anyone see this?
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/03/sports/baseball/bobby-valentine-injured-after-reading-text-while-cycling.html?_r=0
What the hell is the matter with that guy? He's like ever incompetent, do-nothing douchebag coworker you ever had rolled into one smarmy smug torpedo of terrible managing.
Posted by: Welkah | 2012.10.03 at 11:05 AM
With the exception of Pedey, all the healthy players have cleaned out their lockers @ Fenway and when the long crap is done, they'll leave for home, prayig they get to be somewhere else next year.
Posted by: cmdrflake | 2012.10.03 at 11:10 AM
Viking funeral! Kirk Douglas, Tony Curtis, Ernest Borgnine- one of the great movies of all time. Speaking of the past...why doesn't management kiss and make up with Tito? Why not hire him back? Would he consider the offer?
Revenge of Pearl Harbor tonight. Sorry puss-boy Orioles
Posted by: PaPesky | 2012.10.03 at 11:11 AM
Welkah, too bad he didn't swerve into traffic...
Posted by: soxinsix | 2012.10.03 at 11:17 AM
Welkah, ahhh man, I wish I'd known his route so I could have set up the punji stakes.
Posted by: Natalie | 2012.10.03 at 11:23 AM
wait, what?
lc
Posted by: lc | 2012.10.03 at 11:55 AM
Boys and girls, the news, it is a'good. Per Jon Heyman:
"In a move that will be seen as anticlimactic at this point, Red Sox upper management intends to remove Bobby Valentine as manager soon after the season ends, people familiar with the situation say.
The belief is Valentine's ouster will come either Thursday or Friday, though that isn't known. Some people believe the Red Sox will give Valentine the courtesy of a meeting, but several people said they don't believe there's any chance he would be able to change their minds, assuming he'd want to."
Posted by: Natalie | 2012.10.03 at 04:49 PM
Well folks, at this point it seems pretty clear that...ah fuck...never mind
Posted by: urm t m in J | 2012.10.03 at 10:28 PM
This is the way the season ends:
... not with a bang but with a go fuck yourself.
Posted by: soxdownunder | 2012.10.04 at 12:00 AM
Ok,
So I Googled "Viking Funeral" and aside from the clip from the movie the "Vikings" I found this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6vbszkjwYQ
Some people are WAY too attached to their pets
Posted by: Jack Wrong | 2012.10.04 at 08:40 AM
Hey at least 69 is a good number. Maybe not for wins in a season, but still...
Posted by: soxinsix | 2012.10.04 at 08:42 AM