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Keeps getting worse

Doug:
Holy shit are you kidding me?

 


Doug:
Jesus H. Mohammed I knew these guys were beta males but I didn't know it was this bad.

 

Mike:
Seriously. What's next in the panoply of beta behavior? Gratuitous compliments to ownership? Frequent voice mail messages about wanting to hang out? Picking them up at the airport?

 

Doug:
These guys will probably skip right to the beta male fantasy of watching their wives or girlfriends get banged by anothah dude.

 

Al:
Yeah, and the othah dude is Derek Jetah.

 

Mike:
And then, of course, if the playahs are disappointing there's still Bobby Valentine...

 

Doug:
Yeah, the front office thinks the playahs need to be taught a lesson aftah Beer-Chicken-Throw-Tito-Undah-bus-gate and they go and hire a guy with history of divide-and-conquer management whose pink slip from every team he worked for saw was stamped with "douchebag" and was essentially exiled to Japan for 10 years...

 

Doug:
And, oh surprise surprise we get the exact same divide-and-conquer managah but, you know, now he speaks Japanese!

 

Al:
Our playahs suck. Our managah sucks. Our front office sucks.

 

Mike:
I know it's difficult to stay on top but back in 2007 aftah the 2nd World Series in 4 seasons I nevah not evah thought we'd be here where we are now.

 

Doug:
God Hates Us. Again.

 

Al:
Oh, not just God, friggin Richard Dawkins hates us too.

 

Doug:
Are you kidding me? Wall Street hates us and Occupy Wall Street hates us.

 

Al:
Puppies hate us. Kittens hate us.

 

Mike:
The gays hate us. The straights hate us. All 50 fucking shades of Gray hate us.

 

Al:
Obama hates us. Paul Ryan hates us and the old grandma Paul Ryan pushed ovah the cliff hates us.

 

Doug:
Iran and Israel? They hate us.

 

Al:
Is that it?

 

Mike:
You forgot Poland.

 

Comments

Pesky loved us...but he's gone now.

The woman Mitt Romney killed hates us. The birthers hate us. Scott Brown hates us (he took his Red Sox bumper sticker off of his pickup truck). Elizabeth Warren hates us (she refuses to give the Red Sox wives a recipe for their charity cookbook). The International Olympic committee hates us (they voted against a moment of silence for our lost season). Even dead Mother Theresa and Gandhi hate us. In fact their ghosts are encouraging extreme violence.

Britain hates us.
These motherfuckers can't seem let that Tea Party thing go. For reals.

Tom Yawkey loves this spectacle. Why, you ask? Seems this was his way of running the team. Get them fighting among themselevs, and then let the media take it from there.
Don Orsillo, 2012 MVP, since no one else in house deserves it. Oops, here come the Wally supporters.

Oh, and Rush Limbaugh hates us, Rachel Madcow..er Maddow hates us (AND HOW!!) Bill Belichick hates us, but he is busy looking for an offensive line that can give Brady 2 seconds to throw to Welker or Big Gronk.
Howie Cah hates us, Bob Edwards knows we exist, and will decide if he hates us, in good time. Click and Clack both hate us, Brigham Young hates us, The Prophet Mohammed hates us...

They guys quit on Francona last year. You can't say they quit on Booby V because they never really started. This is the most unlikable Red Sox team in recent memory. I think they have to blow it up and start over.

Barney hates us

This shit is so chaotic that the Sox should throw a fucking apple on the field and watch Lucchino, Bobby V, and Pedroia, fight over it until the have to bring in Paris (Hilton) to choose who the winner is.

I hate us. The Dalai Lama despises us. The pope kinda likes us. Achmadinijad pukes when he thinks of us. Assad, loves the sunsets, hates the playahs. Cofi Annan wants to hang us alive. Nelson Mandela wants us to live on Robben Island. The Aussies (sorry sdu) think we are criminals. The Usbekis have heard of us, and think ill of us. Tiger Woods thinks we text great, feel great, and putt great. The Joker bought a gross of pencils so he could (spoiler alert) drive one into each of eyes. Lois Lane wouldn't fuck us for all the beer at Fenway.


In Winter, we experience hygge, comfortable in the notion that the spesenritters in the front office will make it right.

Winter is bilita mpash, summer cavoli riscalldati. August inevitably breeds litost. But yet, in the end we are all schlimazels. Don't forget it.

dyspetically, lc

The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all hate us.

Even the Juggalos hate us.

I hate us.

Where is Pinky Higgins when you need him?

Elmo hates us.

Pinky Higgins would hate us, but he is swilling cheap vodka and is both dead, drunk, and dead drunk. Jean Yawkey hates Haywood Sullivan who hates Buddy LaRoux, who hates Ward Bond, who hates Calvin & Hobbes, who hate The Little Red Haired Girl, who hates Jennie Dell, who hates Kevin Bacon.

who hates us.

LC - I think that comment just set a world record. HB, can you take all the loanwords LC used and incorporate them into a strip?

That comment, and only that comment, could possibly have exceeded my pleasure of seeing "You forgot Poland" used perfectly in context. I drop that clause into conversation all the time, but nobody seems to get it.

Management hates us, clearly holds the fans in the deepest of contempt. When did this happen? Seriously. When did the worm turn? I hate it when my team is utterly unlikeable on almost every level, it makes me dream of defecting to another team because I honestly don't believe most franchises act like this. If my fandom were a relationship, I'd have broken up with him last September... but here I am, a Red Sox battered wife, always forgiving and coming back for more...It's pathetic.

He Hate Me hates us.

Will Rogers hates us.
Anyone going to Castiglione's talk at the Sport's Museum in Balt. today, I'll be the one in the Murphy's t-shirt...instant mockery is now wearing Sox garb in public. Good luck to the Fenway Store from this point on.

Mister Rogers hates us.

It's worse. The Yankees...they don't hate us any more. They pity us.


Fucking Yankees.

I like the hats. Still the only good looking hats in baseball. But my hats hate me(us) - they keep losing themselves. I am sure it is so they can avoid being seen with an actual redsox fan.


We are breeding character. And flies.

The players whining about Bobby V embarrassing Lester is ridiculous. If Lester doesn't want to be embarrassed on the mound how about he get a few batters out? The manager didn't give up 11 runs in 4 innings, Lester did. And compare that with Timmy volunteering to take a shellacking in Game 3 of the 2004 ALCS to save the staff for a game 4. Can you see anybody on the current staff doing that?

I've had it with this team. Until management dumps a few malcontents I just don't give a damn how they do.

Uh oh. I think Natalie is gonna go all Farrah Fawcett in "The Burning Bed" on the Sox now.

Bet the gas and matches would hate us and not light.

I think you are all spoiled. Seriously, and with love. Spoiled.

This is the fucking red sox we're talking about! This is the same organization that lost Carlton Fisk because they forgot to mail his contract. The same one that traded Bagwell. The last team in America to put a black man on the field.

We're surprised and betrayed? This is normal! This is what being a red sox fan is all about. We love the team and every year the fuck us over. Sure, they won two world series and everyone started singing sweet caroline and we thought shit was supposed to be different? HELLOOOO! They paid us back for that by fucking over the manager of those two teams and engaging in a vicious and cowardly smear campaign to ruin his reputation. Fuck them.

I mean I still love them. But being in an abusive relationship? That's normal for a red sox fan. It feels right to have the team act like assholes again. I feel like, well, like I'm home again after this bizzarro world period where they acted -- briefly -- like a first class organization.

Woo! We're back! fuck you sweet caroline!

thanks for listening, I feel better already. Make sure you buy a brick.

Today's strip and all of the accumulated comments together comprise a 21st century version of T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland".

Welkah hits the nail on the head. Rudi makes me laugh because I have been going around using the phrase "kill it with fire" recently for such things as the Kardashians and 50 Shades of Grey. So perhaps I am a little Burning Bed Farrah Fawcett with the Sox. Question: will I drive the bus to the police station to confess, or just take another drink and keep rolling?

BV. SOZ. BFF? AGON.

Kool Aid, Getcher Kool Aid! Cold Kool Aid heah! Getcher Kool Aid! Kool Aid! Ice Cold Kool Aid! $4.75, Ma'am. Kool Aid...

Natalie,

Another drink? Just grab a bottle and hit the gas.

Gom.
A southern US term for a mess. More specifically, a fucking mess. A thing or situation can be a gom (noun), a gom can be the act of messing shit up (verb), or you can simply delcare gom without modifiers of any kind.

"the 2012 redsox. What a gom."
"the 2012 redsox have really gommed things up"
Q: "hey, how are the sox doing? A: "gom"

You gotta know Ditka in a gorilla suit hates us

Wally hates us. Pesky's pole hates us. Fisk's has always hated us. The green monster hates us. The green line hates us. The blue man group hates us. Red riding hood hates us. The rainbow coalition hates us. The VP wants to chain us. The friends of fenway want to drain us. MFA wants to frame us. MGH wants to brain us. Franklin park zoo wants to tame us. The bpd wants to blame us. The bfd wants yo flame us. Tiant turns his back on us. Pedey wants to be our daddy. Beckett wants to use our caddy. The mayah wants to sic inspectional services on us, but Rahm doesn't want us anywhere near his fair city. Jan Brewer wants to outlaw us. Apparently the admin is OK with That! Sherrif Joe says "pink sox, not red sox." Boston Chicken wants us out of the Boston Market. And Sam Adams has shut off the tap after the 6th inning, but hey tito once again loves us!

Man, I hadn't thought about "You forgot Poland" in years. Nice one!

I don't hate the Sox.

I want them to keep coming to Baltimore and play like they did the last two nights.

The Orioles got a new GM and Buck and they know what they are doing. I believe the Birds will keep getting better every year making the AL East even tougher.

And Lichtenstein hates you. They think both the Reds and Red Sox are Communists.

Welkah nailed it. Folks, I've been a Sawx fan since 1946, when my daddy came back from the war (some war; he was recreation officer in Guantanamo Bay) and took me to the ball pahk.

This is what it was like to be a Sawx fan in the 40s, the 50s, the 60s, and the 70s. I was out of the country then on the Left Coast (same difference) in the 80s and 90s, so I dunno about then. Retire to NE in the aughts and -- two WS championships! But deep down I knew nothing had changed.

My granddaughter is coming for a visit tomorrow and Gramps will take her to the pahk while she's here. Let's see: 86 plus 2007 is 2093. She was born in 2006. Maybe she can see another championship when she's a bright young thing of 87 and can do what I did for my dad in early November 2004 -- visit my grave and say "Gramps, this one's for you."

I hope I'm wrong, but I doubt it.

Whitey Bulger hates us.

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