So playing out the metaphor, then, who's in the role of the dude telling you "The first time I fuck you, I might scare you a little. Because I'm a man. And I know how to do things."
I dunno, how about Josh Hamilton?
If I'm a Rangers fan chick aftah watching that unadulterated display of man powah, I'm definitely gonna have to make an offering to Onan ASAP.