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Whether by the sword or the slow decay of time...

OK, 2 in a row. It's a staht.


And ridiculous as it seems considering the 6-10 record, the Sox are only 3 back in loss column.


And yet....


And yet you watch Yu Darvish work the Yankees battahs with a chilling elegance and, well, it just seems that our time of being *that* team, the team that is both smaht and lucky, scientific and autotelic, a team that seems anointed with destiny has passed.


The time of the Red Sox is ovah.


So we are like the elves solemnly abandoning Rivendell in the Two Towahs?


I call dibs on Arwen.


As played by Liv Tyler or as fantasy imagined?


Um, does it mattah?


Point well taken.



Oh I get it-the fish made the pilots sick!! Wait a minute...nevermind ;D

Please don't let us turn Phil Humber into the first pitcher to ever throw two perfect games (back-to-back no less).

I'm not giving up. Although it does seem as if our main rooting interest this season will be if a bunch of people can get their crappy furniture for free.

6 and 10, bitches!

2 wins over the Twins? Yawn.

I love this team! I'm excited for the rest of the season! You can't have any highs, unless you have lows. Beckett is showing some fire, Ortiz is comfortably hitting the ball to all fields. Youk is coming around. It's all fucking roses everywhere I look! Even Bobby V somehow seems like less of a d-bag these past 2 days.

Like everyone else, this team grows fatter on a diet of Twin-kies.

Don't be suckered by that win over the Twins. I have just stocked the Pappy Van Winkle and Afternoon Delight (stored in a box with a turtle). Party's just getting started on the road to Don't Give a Fuck Land....

I saw the results last night and thought 'the Twins must stink'. Then I looked at the standings and realized that the Twins do stink.

I had one foot in the door of Natalie's bus when that deep fly ball was hit in the ninth Monday night. I've since backed away a bit, but I'm hanging out at the bus stop.

I predicted -4 for April, and 3-3 is reasonable for the next six games, so they appear to be right on track.

You'd think they could find a better picture of Julie Brady than one where it looks like she just ran a marathon.

Beat my 12-year-old in Scrabble Monday night. And Tuesday!

Watching the excitement around Yu conjures up memories for when Matsusaka first arrived...we were that team, once...but now it's just a big tumbler of nostalgia straight up with a twist of melancholy. Drink deep folks.

90 wins. In August we'll be reading through these depressing posts and wondering what we were so uptight about. The weather will be nice and ladies will be wandering around in short skirts. Life will be good.

Yes, we are only 3 games out. But EVERY OTHER team in the division is in first place.

Can female elves give telepathic hummers? And is there any chance Jenny Dell is an elf?

Jack: is it weird that I read that as Tumblr? And that such a page does not yet exist? (http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/nostalgia+melancholy is blank) My guess is that it would be full of rented sunsets.

It must be a generational thing.

Tumbler to me: classic glass you see on Mad Men that my grandfather, my father and now I use to drink hard liquor.

Tumblr to my daughters: place to get cat videos and memes

Or to quote my kids, "You're just old, Dad."

here's why I can't give up: last night with a lead of either 7-1 or 8-1, Ortiz hit into what should have been an inning-ending GDP but hustled his large frame down the line to beat the relay. If he's going to show that kind of heart, I kinda have to as well. Even if the bullpen su-su-su-sucks.

They players dont look they have given up yet, at least not the position players. It was worth the mlb.tv subscription just to watch Papi tear it up in april.

The players haven't given up, nor will they.

But none of them this season have even a smidge of the vibe I get from watching someone like a Yu Darvish.

It's hard to explain but I think you know what I mean. There are times when you're watching a baseball club and there our times when you're watching a baseball club that seems to have the Fates working for it... I don't get the latter with the Red Sox so far.

There was a time when it would have been the Red Sox who signed a Yu Darvish or a Manny Ramirez.*

Those days, for now, are gone. But hey we've got Crawford and Lackey, so there's that.

*(Yes, Papi is on a tear and there are other bright spots, but I'm not blinded by the brightness frankly. Though I'd like to be.)

Also, clarification, the "elves" in the strip's metaphor are the fans and not the players.

Yo weee OH YO UM
YO Wee OH UM... (repeat)

I've been reading this column since the opening chapter...in April 2012, it is clear-- you all mock CHB...but many of you are him! We are hurt, we can hit and it's fuckin' April! Natilie et.al.-- once you are on the negative bandwagon...don't ask for a hand-up in September. Who gives a fuck? A real fan.


I suggest you go back and reread the strips from 2004.

Here are some fun lines from April of that year: http://www.soxaholix.com/tp/2004/04/

"And I am confident -- Today there will be no blood in my stool."

"Forget the maple cheddah, pass the demerol

"Dunkin' Donuts needs pain killers on the menu."

"The present is so full of pain, and it is where we keep finding ourselves. Don't tell me I want to run away from the present -- nothing could be further from the truth. When I am without pain killers -- that is when I hide, that is when I run away."

"He's never been particularly strong in

April even when he was the pitcher he was before he was labeled as "not the same pitcher he was before"…

And it actually gets more negative in May...

This characters have always been "like the tides".

And truth be told, I kind of enjoy the negative angle. Hardest strips ever to write were post WS 2004.

And another dirty little secret: I've never been quite the fan I once was after the whole Manny drama towards the end. Something broke inside me then. Something I'll never get back. Since then I've been more detached, more guarded, less passionate.

I am the CHB. This is true.

Ha! In my best stage voice... I, for one, sir, shall ride any bandwagon I choose. If one is not made available to me, I shall drive my own. I am a fan and I shall choose to be such a fan in any way I choose, ugly, super, or disinterested. I shall submit to no litmus test of my fandom. I shall shit on them when they stink and I shall dote on them when they deserve my praise. Love them and hate them - this is just fandom, nothing more. Some years and some months, I am just a bit happier than others.

Oh Pa, have you even read what I have written here for the past 5+ years? Sigh... Let's try this then: when you see someone you love beyond reason (Red Sox) going down an ugly path (Tito's exit, Theo's exit, the clear emphasis on having the fans pay through the nose for team with less investment in the past, so they can fund Liverpool, and the hiring of a shitastic manager), often the best thing you can do as a fan is register your complaint the only way you can- by withdrawing. By saying, I will not enable you, you need to earn my fandom. Despite popular tropes, and despite what my favorite movie character Annie Savoy would say, fandom is NOT a religion; I am not giving blind faith and allegiance. It's a two way street. I am putting my money where my mouth is. If the Sox win it all, I will tip my hat in chagrin, acknowledge maybe there was something I did not know in all this, but with my information at hand... I am abdicating this season until I see reciprocity in my love. You can call that fairweather. I call it true engagement in a franchise who has meant more to me than I can put into words....

Shucks Molly, I KNEW I'd get 'em mad!
A poor-torn heart- a tattered heart- / That sat it down to rest-/ Nor noticed that the Ebbing Day/ Flowed silver to the West-/ Nor noticed Night did soft descend-/ Nor Constellation burn-/ Intent upon the vision/ Of latitudes unknown. E.D. #78
Hart Brachen, and Missy Teal...sorry-- we love(d) them too much.

No, not mad... I wish it were so. Being mad would at least be a symptom of passion. I have none.

The *only* thing that keeps me doing the strip each day are the creepy folks here in the comments... well, that and waiting for LC's Cuba photos.

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