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Pepé Le Pew

If we are going to go through an entiah season of getting out to a big lead only to watch in horrah as it dissipates, well, I'm going to need stronger meds.


Ladies and Gentlemen, Grady Little is not walking through that door.


So if Valentine doesn't believe in basing his decisions on stats, what does he use, the Magic 8 Ball?


I think he consults Romney's Etch-a-Sketch.


Look I'm no cheerleadah for Bobby V and his pearly whites, but a managah is only as good as the rostah he has.


So is this the worst bullpen you've evah seen in your life?


"'It smells good,' said Geno Marquis, 26, a guido from Philadelphia, who approved of the male fragrance’s 'woody smell.'"


Yeah, Geno, I'm pretty sure BigBri is going to really like your woody smell as well.


In the morning.



As I was watching the game last night I started to feel just a little bit of guilt at jumping on the I Don't Give A Fuck bus so early in the season. I was thinking about pulling the cord so I could get off at the next stop.

Then the bullpen got into the game.

Excellent h.b., but ya gotta love this headline: "World Peace Suspended for 7 Games"

and "Yankees for Her" smells mystically like low tide. With undertones of aura

'Yankees for Him' smells like hot-dog vendor cart water that's been dumped out on Jerome Avenue to sit for a day in the sun. "Yankees for Her' smells like stripper glitter, lip gloss, and Suzyn Waldman.

All that comes to mind is tobacco spit and game worn jockstraps. But I suspect for may Yankee fans, that aroma will attract exactly what they are searching for. Too easy indeed.

I would've thought "for Him" smelled more like Waldman

The Skanks can save money by using A-Fraud as the model for both Yankees for Him and Yankees for Her.

For the ad campaign they are going to use A-Fraud as the model for "Yankees for Her".

Let me get this straight. Natalie is putting together her own busload of Merry Pranksters, stocking the bar with bourbon, and offering other cryptic pleasures.(My age renders the turtle reference indecipherable). But many of you hesitate to buy a ticket because you still hold out hope. Well they say the buses around Popocatepetl still have quite a few seats left.

Drat Bob, I should have refreshed one more time before I posted...

Yazbread... Exactly! The way I see it, its party party party, cheer with giddiness upon blowout losses and if in the end the team does great, I will be so fucking pie eyed that I will just laugh, cheer, and not care about anyone saying I'm a sunshine fan. Sounds like a great season to me. Unless someone stink bombs the bus with Yankee scent.

One of the ingredients in Yankees for Her is something called "clameron."

yb: the turtle box (as well as Afternoon Delight, and "sticky weed, real primo budz") is from the fantastic TV show Arrested Development, and of course, refers to really strong marijuana. My shipment of Real Dolls for the bus comes today. Whenever most of you have your hearts smashed for the final time (I'm putting the over on that at June 1), come on aboard. I am saving y'all seats...well, except for you, PaPesky. :)

Jeff captures my sentiment exactly. And the only other item I would add to the party bus is Bobby V voodoo dolls for us to torture, to reciprocate for each torturous decision the genius makes on the field. First thing I'm doing is pulling out the pearly whites, one by one.

"Afternoon Delight" is strong weed? Damn! I've been getting it wrong all these years. Curse you Starland Vocal Band.

urm, so says Arrested Development, so do what you will with that info. I am actually not a pot smoker at all....

Is this one of those "Hop On, Hop Off" tourist buses? Because I anticipate wild mood swings throughout the season. Or as the Bluth family would say: "I think I've made a huge mistake."

Once the Real Dolls are on board, will the riders be renamed The Merry Wanksters? Autoerogeny seems like something we'll need in our cupboard of coping mechanisms, pharmaceutical and otherwise.

Natalie, in my last post I apologized... I was a victim of Jamison/nostalgicism while staring at my Jackie Jensen poster. Please, let me on. I'm a harmless age 66 and could serve as a good lookout. You guys are not only hilarious...but correct

Step right on up, PaPesky... the more the merrier. :)

Can we leash BigBri to the bumper??

The Red Sox unisex cologne is just bottled flop sweat courtesy of the bullpen.

Lmao... It all comes to this in my imagination... Natalie's bus (is it a converted school bus or a greyhound coach? Works either way, its like Soulplane, you know, the inside is way bigger than the outside) goes on tour, decorated, loud and rocking with a some odd little fellow from Chilicothe (sp?) asking for his mom tied to the bumper. It breaks down on Yawkey before the game, half up on the curb - PaPesky was driving and saw something on the sidewalk that seriously needed running over. Authorities cant get anyone to open the doors. Its stuck in the backdrop to the NESN pregame show. Pungent smoke is leaking out the windows. Every now and again, a window opens and a Realdoll is held out and sprayed off with a hose - to much cheering from the bewildered crowd, especially when the rinseoff gets all over the folks wearing the visiting jerseys. There are loudspeakers on top with some cat belting out poetry to the masses - still nobody on the bus knows who this poet is (bathroom door has been locked the whole trip and a realdoll has been missing since before we starrted - id break in to see whos in there with a mike, but I just forgot what I was doing). Later on, late innings, Papi hits one over the monster lights, the cameras turn to the parking deck.. There is that bus again! Now, however, there are about a dozen loaded passengers out of the bus, relieving themselves wherever they can (bathroom door still locked, soxaholix readings still going on), drinks in hand, laughing hysterically at the now 15-1 redsox deficit. Don and Jerry cant stop laughing. And off they drive before the redsox fuzz can get them and turn them into a revenue stream. Go Redsox! With 12 bare asses hanging out the side windows, rolling on to Baltimore, spraying Kaz's Flop perfume across the city so ALL can enjoy the smell of a good bullpen meltdown. Or something like that.

So wait, the Afternoon Delight song wasn't about lunch?

I'm still rolling up and smoking the mindless optimism. Thank you Minnesota. Skyrockets in flight.

has anybody heard from lc?


Last I saw, LC was taking a nap in the back of the bus. COD was drawing a Rollie Fingers mustache on his face.

Oh, hi LC!

One of my favorite discussions ever. Oh, and btw, Jeff in NC, I got the TOO reference the other day, even though nobody else did.

Classic Boomer toys:
Magic-8 Ball

Larry.. After today's go around, the other verse even makes more sense -

the bus.. "left a smoking crater of my mind,
I like to blow away.
But the heat came round and busted me
For smiling on a cloudy day"

SAC - I will go with the Spirograph.



Winky Dink (look it up)


Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots!

Winky Dink sounds like something you would take Viagra to deal with

Had forgotten Colorforms. Oh how I loved those.

Tonka Trucks (made of real honest to goodness metal)!

Lite Brite
Evel Knievel stunt cycle
Stretch Armstrong
GI Joe w/ Kung Fu grip

Poem from Magic Bus loudspeaker starts something like this: "I saw the best ball team of my generation destroyed by madness, starving
hysterical naked,
dragging itself through Yawkey Way at dawn looking for a competent reliever..."

Captain Action. The Mac of action figures. (It's an action figure, not a doll).

Slinky, Hula-hoops,

Old Big Wheels. The ones that you could take off the seat back and throw it away for a proper stand up, injury filled ride.

Lawn Darts!

Barbie. Have to confess, I played with them until an embarrasingly late age...

Wasn't WINKY DINK usually paired in the storeroom window display with ERECTOR SET?


ditto on Lite Brite


The original "Secret Sam". A briefcase that toted a pistol you could fire plastic bullets from - right from a button on the side of the case (!)

Also had a camera for taking secret pictures (real 135 film) of h.b. with his Real Doll (tm).

No *real* secret agent left home without one!

We get to bring our F*&^%ing toys with us? :).

I'm bringing tinker toys and a hoppity horse. Hopefully we will all be like weebles "weebles wobble but they don't fall down".

Coming out of lurking mode to get on Natalie's bus.

The White Sox have us right where they want us and just waiting for our bullpen to blow yet another big lead.

Operation. Uno. But those of us who grew up in the 80s also had those standalone handheld Tiger games, and Tecmo Super Bowl.

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