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Out-hustled, Out-hit

Doug:
So people keep coming up to me saying, "Hey, have you heard this Jetah story?" with bemusedly expectant expessions on their faces.

 

Doug:
And I'm like what exactly are you looking for ovah heah?

 

Doug:
Because see this is how my mind is breaking this shit down...

 

Doug:
The face of the New York Yankees franchise splits up with his A-List, hot, celebrity girlfriend, whom I might add is but one in a long list of A-List, hot, celebrity girlfriends the guy has known cahnally.

 

Doug:
And aftah splitting from the most recent one he goes all Ghengis Cock on New York, picking up hot chicks, banging them, and then sending them off in a cab with a gift basket of assorted sundries including, get this, an autographed baseball by the Lothario himself.

 

Doug:
Meanwhile, the face of the Red Sox franchise is what? Sitting around getting fat, eating chicken, and asking their redneck cousin Brandyne for a tug job?

 

Doug:
That's right. Advantage Motherfucking Yankees.

 

Outhit

Comments

I'm withholding comment until I see a picture of Brandyne.

Remember though, Brandyne doesn't have teeth. Advantage trailer park.

yep, and the gold gloves were legitimate too.

That's a good job by Jeter. At least that part of his game hasn't slowed down.

//asking their redneck cousin Brandyne for a tug job?//


Very nice.

Genghis Cock, that made me laugh out loud. And wonder if a woman were doing the same thing- cutting an enviable take-no-prisoners, souvenir-replete sexual swath across the city- what would be the equivalent? Queen Vulva (Victoria)? Belle Cuntress (Belle Gunness)? Pussy Borden? I accept other ideas...

Knowing Minka Kelly has been with Jeter ruined my day.

Hilary Rodhammer Clit-ton?

COD, I would risk getting the herps to bang Minka Kelly, even now. Jessica Alba would also get the double-bag treatment. It would be the angriest four inches she ever encountered. To quote my brother: I may not hit the bottom, but I'll thrash the shit out of the sides.

At least my Scarlett had the good grace to deny 'shacking up' with the miscreant short stop of the New York (AL) team. Jeez.

Clitopatra?

He autographed his balls??!!

*** Update Tues 12/20 ***

It's that slow news holiday time, but not ready yet to shut down for official holiday hiatus... intermittent for now (as in today).

Yeah, it's pretty slow out there. The big news on the Red Sox site is that the farm system is "filled with heavy hitters."


They must be referring to weight.

I just heard that Jon Bon Jovi died. True? Or Onion news?

The reports of his death have been greatly exaggerated.

The JBJ news is a fake - his response was going around Facebook this morning. https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/397523_10151065908995215_720535214_22244857_1466935794_n.jpg

I heard he was shot through the heart.

well played, yaz, well played

Bill Conlin

Frick, indeed

SHOW ME THE CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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