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Remember: whatever doesn't kill you makes you weaker...

Ah, throw back the lobstah, hold the roll... instead we'll be dining on spam and saltines for the moment.


I've heard of the Texas 2-Step but I hadn't heard of the Texas 21 Extra Base Hit Throat Stomp.


♪ And a one and a two ♪ and a that ball is outta here.


Now I know how Santa Anna felt at San Jacinto. I mean there's caught by surprise and then there's caught by mofo surprise by Texans.


Hey, at least Shaughnessy is happy. He got to turn his sarcasm knob up to 11 with this morning's "The Best Team Ever" column.


You know, when your 2011 Opening Series goes like that, you deserve whatevah the CHB dishes.


Let's just hope things turn around in Cleveland.


Yeah, the thought of these guys steaming ovah to Cleveland just to drop a anothah load is untenable.



Well, I guess CHB answered my question from yesterday.


At least Papi is looking good.

I realize they typically struggle in Texas, but that was ridiculous...steaming ovah to Cleveland indeed...

Yeah, but can Papi pitch? Apparently, no one else can.


just getting caught up on the strip after a week in Savannah, so let me add my belated congrats to you HB on the 7-year anniversary- and to the rest of you creeps too who make this must reading

When does the season start?

In ye Olden Days, the season seemed to open in KC and there were metaphorical rugburns aplenty. I found nothing to encourage my wanting soul over the weekend, and feel rather unhappy about the state of things.

Saltini ( I refuse to learn how to spell his name until he gets a hit) was disappointing, to say the least, not to mention the utter lack of orgasmic stimulation for our more breast-heavy creepy commenters.

Even Carl Crawford had gone corporate. He must have spent half of his 2011 salary getting the bad ass tattoo faded from his neck. What next, John Beckett going all Gwyneth Paltrow in a guest star turn on Glee?

Anyhow, Mitch Albom, or whatever that guys name is looked ok on one day before they shut the lights off.



Our new pitching coach seems to be working out well...

for those who missed it, Kaz has the early lead on line of the week: "...our 1-2-3 starters each give up more dingers than a blind guy trying to parallel park."

Curt Young, I'm putting you on notice.

Soxaholix Notice Board, courtesy of Mr. Colbert.

Thanks, bwf. It came to me in a dreamnightmare.

BWF-Kaz is tied with Bob, "...we gave up more home runs than Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson combined."

Alright, vermonter, Challenge Accepted.

Texas hit more bombs than France has been allowed to drop on Libya.

We gave up more runs than a beer drinking contest at a Celiac's convention.

The Rangers got to touch'em all more times than a New Hampshire "pedophile pimp" bishop.

The Red Sox sucked worse than a RealDoll named "Dyson".

Ah, don't worry about it. Baltimore is atop the division, 3-0. It's clearly an elaborate April Fool's joke.

Ah, don't worry about it. Baltimore is atop the division, 3-0. It's clearly an elaborate April Fool's joke.

Well, that sucked. Although it's been nice to get back in touch with that part of me that yells at the television and scares the dog/neighbors. I was such a quiet soul in London. Far from panicked, but holy god, a lot of those longballs had me quoting Bull Durham- "anything that goes that far ought to have a damn stewardess on it, don't you think?"

Thanks, Natalie.

If the Rangers hit any longer longballs, we'd have to start calling them the Hefners.

Thank god for Mondays...at least we can't go 0-and-4 today.

glad the Canadiens made the list Kaz

Meh. The team is built to take it all. Only in Boston could a Carl Crawford be forced to hit in the seven spot.

since Manny's grill is no longer available, does anyone have any suggestions/recommendations for a good gas grill? Mine is a rusted mess

Holy bejeebuz, I come out of a meeting and the comment numbers look like the Ranger's box score.

You bet, bwf. Those bastards have been on notice all season. I seriously would like to avoid them in the first round of the playoffs if at all possible. People act like that 7-0 win last week meant anything. It didn't mean much at all. Let's get a Toronto instead, please.

Next up in this upside down world: Beckett will allow one run over 8 innings and Dice-K will pitch a one-hit nine-inning gem with a pitch count of 93. OK, it's the Ambien talking.

Losing Farrell was huge. Just like losing Thibodeau was huge for the Celts and losing RAC and Charlie was for the Pats. Haven't won shit since.

Losing Farrell was huge. Just like losing Thibodeau was huge for the Celts and losing RAC and Charlie was for the Pats. Haven't won shit since.

Well, after getting thrashed this weekend by the Rangers, hopefully the Red Sox will be the thrashers in Cleveland. We just need Beckett to be as nasty as he was in his last Spring Training tune-up, and the bats can carry the tone from there.

Bright side?: We seem to do better down 0-3. Going 159-3 isn't too bad.

h.b. - How many times have you referenced the Steamer in this strip's lifetime? Gives me flashbacks to my friend's detailed story about the Clevelanding he did to his stripper girlfriend, which makes me throw up in my mouth a little. As did this weekend's fuckstorm pitching.

Probably reference "the steamer" at least once a season. It's a tradition.

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