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Feed the Sox

After today, The Soxaholix will be on hiatus until the first week of January.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Mike:
OK, so are we ready for the talent portion at today's company Christmas Pahty.

 

Al:
My pahts are memorized and ready.

 

Doug:
Are you kidding me? I've been ready since 420 yestahday.

 

Mike:
OK. But let's run through it one more time.

 

Mike:
Remember to the tune of "Feed the World"

Anda-one, anda-two...

 

Doug:

It's Hot Stove Time, there's no need to be afraid
At Hot Stove Time, Theo gets it right with the updgrades ♫

 

Al:

And with our Sox of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Hot Stove Time

 

Mike:
♪ ♪
But say a prayer, Pray for the other ones
Hot Stove Time it's hard, but when we're having fun

 

Doug:

There's a world down I-95,
And it's a world of dread and fear

 

Al:
♪♪
Where the only words flowing
Are all bittah rants and jeers

 

Mike:

And the Hot Stove bells that ring there
Are the clanging chimes of doom
♪ ♪

 

Doug:
Well thank John Henry it's them instead of you!

 

Al:

And there won't be headlines in New York this Hot Stove Time Because the one guy that they did sign
♪♪♪

 

Mike:

Well, he has a busted hip
And Cliff just gave the flip
♫♫

 

Doug:
♫ ♪
Do they know it's Hot Stove Time at all?

 

Al:

Here's to you

 

Mike:
Raise a glass for Carl and A-Gon

 

Doug:

Here's to them in the Bronx,
all come undone

 

Al:
♪♪
Do they know it's Hot Stove Time at all?

 

Mike:
♪ Feed the Sox
Let them know it's Boston's time again

 

Doug:

Feed the Sox
Let them know it's Boston's time again

 

Al:

Feed the Sox
Let them know it's Boston's time again

 

Comments

Wow. Way to finish off the year with a bang HB. Happy Holidays to you and yours, and to all the creepy commenters here.

Brings a smile, h.b.


Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and so forth. For us, oyster roasts, beer, and enough chocolate to cure the wickedest case of constipation anyone can present. Hope all enjoy there own special kind of fun.

RIP Bob Feller

HB, Wow! Your creativity amazes me every time.

Happy Holidays everyone!!

And if you want to sing it for yourself, here's the instrumental version with karaoke cues.

lol

Terrific h.b. The last time anyone asked me and my buds to be in a talent show we did a frogs imitation: Bud -Wise -Er. For some reason they never asked again...

Bah humbug to one and all. For us, La Tourtière on Christmas Eve, roast beef and yorkshire pudding on Christmas Day. The success of the pudding is inversely related to my level of inebriation. Failures have dominated over the years.

I think somebody who a musician and who's played, oh, I don't know, at the Pru, should put this to music. But I wonder where we could find anybody like that...

My family does the Prime Rib/yorkshire pudding on Christmas eve. I am so looking forward to it and to ribbing the yankee fans in the family :).


Excellent strips HB and looking forward to more come 2011. While walking the dogs (wearing my BoSox cap) at my parents this weekend I met a lot of other happy Sox fans. Everyone was excited about the how they "decked the halls of Fenway" and the line-up this holiday season.

Happy holidays everyone.

♪♫ Jingle bells ♫♪
♪♫ New York smells ♫♪
♫♪ Cashman laid an egg ♪♫
♪♫ Bandwagon has lost a wheel ♪♫
♫♪ And Cliff Lee got away ♫♪

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, hb and all Soxaholix!

I think the silicon chip inside your head got switched to overload. :-)

My company Christmas Party is today as well. Although there might be music, there won't be a song as sweet as the above. Merry Christmas, h.b. and to all of Soxaholix Nation.

Happy holidays, one and all! Thanks, h.b., for another stellar strip. My sister and I are going to work up this little ditty for our family gathering. Maybe the teenagers can download it to RockBand for Wii.

God bless us, everyone!

Hmmm...I'll ask around, Bob, and see who I can find.


Stay tuned.

Anyone want to get a beer downtown later? I'm thirsty.

brilliant, sir, most brilliant. You and everyone else here have a safe and happy holiday season and New Years as I keep the faith from the Dirty Jerz.

I can just imagine Doug with those Bono sunglasses as he belts out one of the most inappropriate lyrics in song history...


Enjoy your time off h.b.


Merry Christmas, everyone!

Love finding a nice new pair of Red Sox in my stocking . . .

Jason,

I'm in if you mean downtown Burlington!

absolutely brilliant, HB! Nothing like a walk off win to finish the year. Thanks again for all you've put into this creepy space.

My company party is not until tomorrow...after this, not sure if I can make it that long.

Best wishes to all here. Happy everything.

Spend Christmas eve with my wife's Québécoise family, or as they call it "Réveillon", tourtière, beef tenderloin, baked stuffed shrimp, and, of course, wine...usually sing a few carols in french (mine is particularly bad), but what the translation would be for Monsieur Roy?
Joyeux Noël to all or as we Anglais say, Merry Christmas

Mele Kalikimaka to all Soxaholix.

The GM that keeps on giving -


Bobby Jenks, 2 yrs, $12M Red Sox, done.


Anything else under all the wrapping paper all over the floor?

Happy Festivas all.

sdu

Feels like Friday in here, huh?


Well, have a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year all.


Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday (January 3).

How you gonna beat that? Best wishes of the season to the creator and all his admirers. I don't find this place creepy at all.

Brilliant! And Merriest of Merries to us all!

BTW... the slightest of revisions?:

"Where the only words flowing
Are all bittah rants and Jeters"

... and now the Feats of Strength ;D

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all! (and a Bah, Humbug to those offended by that...)

Grand Slam on your final at bat of 2010, hb! Well done. Merry Christmas to you and all the happy Soxaholix. 2011 can't come soon enough, make it a great one.

Your minions allow you to set the bar pretty low H.B. And even by those standards, this one suuuuuuucked. Have a shitty Christmas and a fucked up New Year. May your truck day (the most low-rent day in baseball) be filled with flat tires and calls to AAA.
Hugs,
Bigbri
P.S. Crawford will pull a hammy in Spring Training that will hobble him all year. And once we get past your so-so starters, we'll feast on that shitty bullpen. And we'll steal 6 bases a game against Tek (the cowardly captain).

I thought I smelled something.

that's all you got, spaghetti dick?

Lou,

That's not what your wife said...

BB

Vermonter,

You sure it wasn't your ass?

Bri, come on now, you needent vent your horrific off season frustrations upon us. We were not the ones who kicked sand into your vagina. You should redirect this hate to my friend Theo Epstein. He can be reached at:

4 Yawkey Way
Boston, Massachusetts 02215

Give that a shot. Oh and hey, this off season you at least get the opportunity to enjoy that multi year, over the hill, off season Jeter renew, Clown...

Hey yaz, if you want perfect yorkies every time pre-heat the dish/tin you're making them in until it's at its absolute hottest and then dump the batter in the tin and bake. Lovely and fluffy everytime.


A creepy Chrismas to all and to all a creep time!
Cheers to you all and wishing everyone a fantastic holiday season.

Yeah, our "shitty bullpen"...

Evidently the only shitty thing about our bullpen now is the pants of more intelligent Yankee fans than yourself...and your's, but that's just called "Friday".

Great strip!

Merry Christmas, etc., to all!

Don't worry BB, I'm sure the signing of Russell Martin and claiming Jordan Parraz off the waiver wire from the Sox will completely turn the Yankees around.
I hope your mom got you a Real Doll so you can have a friend in your basement dwelling this christmas.

H.B.:
Many thanks for making this a funner world with one great strip after another. How do you do it?
I read this creepy strip and Doonesbury; I watch Jon Stewart; am I missing anything important?

By the way: what sort of doofus calls himself "Big" anything? Can it possibly help ease the pain?
One way to find out:
Haddy Grimble to all.

Well...that didn't help much. I still feel like shit.
Try again:

Actually Bri, while thompson13X says you should direct your hate to Theo, I think you need to add to that list Cashman (and his headwarmer?) and most importantly, the Yankee fans in the stands who were spitting on and pouring beer on Cliff Lee's wife during the ALCS (remember that series? "Yankess swept in 6").

You sound like you might have been one of those fans, so perhaps you should redirect your hate at yourself? Yankees fans helped Cliff decide it was worth leaving ~30M Yankees dollars on the table to NOT GO THERE.

Happy holidays - It's too bad for you they won't be as happy as ours!

Wow. So much stupidity. Let me break it down one dumb son of a bitch at a time...

thompson - by July you and the rest of SAWX Nation will be bitching about how Theo's off-season acquisitions are under performing. Given the fact that you haven't been able to secure a decent shortstop since No-MAH left, it seems odd that you'd turn your nose up at Jeter. Jeter's a winner. We'll see who is smiling in October...

Kaz - was that even a sentence? In English??? If...you...could just point out a subject. Or a predicate I promise to do my best to figure out your retarded ramblings...

Lobstaman (poor man's Crab fisherman) - Just a week ago you shitheads were crowing about how great it will be to sign Russell Martin. So enjoy Tek all season long. He's awesome...

Big important etc., etc. - You are right. This strip does make the world "funner". Let me guess, MIT grad, right?

And finally, SanFran - Uummm, teams don't get "swept" in 6. Please stop pretending to be a baseball fan. I don't give a fuck that we didn't sign Cliff Lee. He had a horrible World Series and a 7 year contract was too long. Let him go to the NL. Fuck him. And don't lecture me on fan behavior. You can't find more poorly behaved fans anywhere than Philadelphia...unless of course you look in Fenway...

I'll leave you all with this:

The people said, "LOOK! The SAWX have gathered the finest players in the land! Isn't that great?!?"

"We'll see, said the Zen master...we'll see"

And now I must finish watching the Patriot Killers (NY Giants) destroy the Eagles...


Yeah, that last part....not so much. Don't you wish the Pats were as good as the Eagles?

Bri,

"swept in 6" was the very funny comment from the NY Post after your team was eliminated this year - hope this explanation helps. I love the Post - they were also responsible for "The Choke's on Us!" headline after Game 7 of the '04 ALCS. Today's Headline? "Giant Choke!"

Thanks for playing.

I love it when the world tells BigBri to eat his own shit. That's how I know everything is as it should be.

"And now I must finish watching the Patriot Killers (NY Giants) destroy the Eagles..."


Life just keeps dishing out the milk and honey these days.

I could just see the microwave mac 'n' cheese slowly dropping from BigLie's slack jaw as the Eagles returned that punt.

Please don't feed the trolls

My 11 year old son's comment to BB's post was "if i wanted a comeback, i'd have wiped your mom's chin". That's my boy.


I did not post of course, because it would have fed the troll. And as has been pointed out to me before by harwich rich, it does not go well.

Sanfransoxfan - "thanks for playing" was great. Still chuckling at that. Its going into my prsonal repertoire.

Good news for BigBriannna and other MFY fans: Goggle had instituted a feature that allows search results to be returned at a 3rd grade reading level. Much easier to catch those Lilo crotch shots for our feeble minded bretheren to the south.

Your 11 year old has pretty impressive comeback stock there Jeff. I'd like to buy 50 shares of that.


(er, that sounded a lot less pedo in my head...don't mind me.)

Yea, great line. Not sure how i felt about it coming out of my son's mouth, but you gotta love 'em, warts and all.


What i do know is this strip and you bunch of smartass wierdos make me laugh.

BigBra,

Eat shit.

There, I fed the troll.

Sorry Rich.

stupid patriots

pfdu

Jeff in NC - glad you liked - can't remember where I got it. btw, I did all my educ in NC (HS, Undergrad, Grad). Great state (Wrightsville B. surfer boy/lifeguard).

Our boy Cheese Faht (Big Brie) conspicuous by his absence. Sad - amusing in that "never gonna break a sweat engaging him" kind of way. Even your clever 11 yr-old zinged him.

Wrightsville beach. Smallish world. My days and nights are spent on the other side of the river around Southport and Oak Island.


I think we hear from cheese faht onLy once every so often because it takes him awhile to make his list of dumb things to yell at everyone about. Then he got a good beatdown the other day for spouting out a greater than normal amount of stupid. So back to the basement.

Just read this... Spending facts, unspun. Now everyone can argue with real numbers in their arsenal.


"The New York Yankees lowered spending on players by $12 million this year, cutting payroll by $5 million and slashing their major league-leading luxury tax by more than $7 million.

New York was hit with an $18 million luxury tax yesterday by Major League Baseball. The tax was New York's lowest since 2003 and down from $25.7 million last year, when the Yankees won the World Series.

Boston is the only other team that will have to pay. The Red Sox, who missed the playoffs this year, exceeded the payroll threshold for the first time since 2007 and owe $1.49 million.

Since the current tax began in 2003, the Yankees have run up a bill of $192.2 million. The only other teams to pay are Boston ($15.34 million), Detroit ($1.3 million) and the Los Angeles Angels ($927,000).

Let's see, Jeff, that's about $7.7M per WS Championship for the Sox, and, um, $192.2M per WS Championship for the Yanks. I'd say good value for money.

I might be able to split work really early today, so here's wishing all your creepy people a very Merry Christmas and happy holidays.


Even North Korea's getting into the Christmas spirit, threatening a holy war.


Anyway, have a great long weekend all. Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday, and something really fun to yak about when H.B. gets his ass back in gear.

Sexy Rexy as the new "Uncle Hulka with the big toe" ?? lol

If I'm a kicker of punter for the Jets, I'd be rather hesitant to go into Rex's office for a private coaching session.

Love the holy war. Take that, rosary beads to the face and a menorah to the gut.


Merry Christmas everyone! Not like anyone here looks for an excuse but time to eat, drink and be merry.

Merry Christmas in all it's many permutations to my extended Soxaholic family.Man,I'm eloquent tonight.(Something about animals speaking at midnight) ;D

Have a resplendent Christmas, you creepy bitches.

Worth the wait! Hilarious!

I'm one of three people in the office today. It's actually very, very nice. Nobody yelling, nobody scheduling yet another meeting. Just quiet, productive time.


Well, productive for Soxaholix comment writing anyway.

Anything fun to yak about yet? ;(

Yes, Brandon Webb and Zack Grienke to the Rangers and Brewers. Another way of saying "not to the Yankees".


We had this dork friend in the neighborhood where we grew up who consistently excused his in effective playground abilities with the basic statement that "I meant to do that". Like when we were throwing rocks at glass bottles on a ledge next to a building and he could never hit the bottles - "I was aiming at the wall, guys".

Have we clinched the division yet?

I was aiming at the floor under the urinal.

far better than aiming at your shoe.

Splashback got that.

Is it New Year's yet...need HB back for some creative juice.


Most of you guys can keep us going for awhile but this silence is creepier than a trannie real doll.

For those of you who are working today, as I am, and need a boredom pick-me-up, I share with you this gem I found on NPR's 50 Wonderful Things from 2010: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_sfnQDr1-o

I have no idea exactly why, but I had tears running down my face from the first note of the song...Hilarious. Now not going to get anything more done today, just watch Baby Monkey (Backwards on a Pig)

For those of you who are working today, as I am, and need a boredom pick-me-up, I share with you this gem I found on NPR's 50 Wonderful Things from 2010: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_sfnQDr1-o

I have no idea exactly why, but I had tears running down my face from the first note of the song...Hilarious. Now not going to get anything more done today, just watch Baby Monkey (Backwards on a Pig)

Gah, double post, sorry. It wasn't THAT good a link. :)

Tumbleweeds rolling/
Down the main street of my mind/
A gunslinger aims.


Okay, almost time to split for the (half) day.


Have a great weekend all. And a happy New Year. Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday.

Happy New Years to one and all-now where's my Infinium??

Cool. Got to post in another year. Contributed nothing. Streak alive.

Why couldn't BB be a J E T S jets jets jets fan so I could insert a clever foot fetish comment.....

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