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And then I found 5 dollars

Lisa the Temp:
Hello, Peeps! Lisa the Temp is back from her offshore assignment...

 

Lisa the Temp:
And let me tell you this — deep water drilling is harder than it looks.

 

Lisa the Temp:
Speaking of disasters, peeps...

 

Lisa the Temp:
Kardassian and the lil' Bieb? Srsly?

 

Lisa the Temp:
How do you go from playin' Reggie in da' Bush to playin' "Jason would you please push?"

 

Lisa the Temp:
Now if I'm Reggie Bush, what am I doing?

 

Lisa the Temp:
I'm immediately going out and tapping 16 year old sailboat chick that's what I'm fucking doing.

 

Lisa the Temp:
You wanna play? Oh, let's play, bitch.

 

Lisa the Temp:
Actually, I think Lisa has just found the next new hit reality series.

 

Lisa the Temp:
Kardassian and Bieber, Reggie Bush and Abby Sunderland on a yacht in the Indian Ocean with cameras 24/7...

 

Lisa the Temp:
And featuring, special guest stars...

The Somali Pirates!

 

Lisa the Temp:
Are you feeling me, peeps?

 

Lisa the Temp:
NBC have your people call my people. Let's pop this moneymaker in the can.

 

Lisa the Temp:
And send Lisa an iPad as well.

 

Comments

I knew Lisa had something to do with the oil spill. Now if only Bieber and Slutdashian would go wading in some of that sludge. With our luck, they'd both grow an extra head afterwards, and we'd be stuck with 1.5 of each of them.


Going to the game tomorrow. Or more likely, the rainout.

Who's the young kid with the Kartrashian bitch? Why, is that Tom Brady's hair?


And there can be no doubt Lisa the Temp knows ALL about "deep water drilling"...

LOL strip today. I am SO feeling Lisa, that Bieber kid is so super-annoying that siccing Somali pirates on him seems proportionate.

I'm thinking how the Somali pirates could have their own ominous theme music ala Jaws.


Also seeing Somali pirate action figures and a possible spinoff into a Saturday morning cartoon and, of course, a video game.


And it goes without saying that there'd be a "Who's the next Somali Pirate?" show where contestants try to show a panel of judges they have what it takes to be a Somali Pirate.


This shit is gold.

Hey, I may of missed it, but when did Lisa Lisa start rocking the new keyboard?

"Hey, I may of missed it, but when did Lisa Lisa start rocking the new keyboard?"

When she grew a 5th fingah?

screw beisbol, let's just go wif Lisa, she knows deep drilling in every continent and at any Clevel.


lugubriously,

lc

Why Lisa the Temp today?


Probably because Bill was making a guest appearance at Surviving Grady. Heh.

h.b. - Totally agree with the gold you've mined here, just think of the program formats that could be adapted:

I'm A Somali Pirate Captive, Get Me Out of Here and Celebrity Survivor: Indian Ocean: various C and D list celebs are tortured in creative ways in pirate-equivalent "bush tucker trials" and immunity challenges, the public votes each week on who should be set free and who should stay for more torture;

So You Think You Think You Can Pirate? and Hijacking with the Somalis: wherein youths from Puntland compete with and against each other in a series of challenges for the right to join the Somali Marines;
etc etc


You get the idea. This shit just writes itself, and in the great tradition of reality TV there's little overhead for serious profit. I think we need to move on this.

Nat,


Great ideas all.


Also thinking of two teams of pirates that compete against each other for reward and immunity challenges.


Picture Jeff Probst coming out and saying, "You want to know what you're playing for?" and then pointing to this.


Can you imagine the Somali Pirates getting their hands on a jet ski that can do 75mph?

Somali Pirates stranded on "Lost" island??

Guys, all you need is Cookie Monster.

http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/CookieMonsterWarlord.jpg

Keep that crackhead full of chocolate chip cookies and your problems are solved.

Holy Jeebuz! You guys are all on a roll today. I'm laughing my arse off here.


Kaz, nice find on Bill. H.B., do you have copywrite protection on the characters? Did you give S.G. permission to use? Do we need to get our favorite barrister (SDU) on the job here? Do we need to call Cookie Monster and his Insane Clown Posse to go break kneecaps? Have Jeff Probst put out somebody's torch? Vote them off the island?

The base characters are in public domain. The one's that were created from scratch (e.g, Lisa's Mac, Doug in shirt with sleeves rolled, etc) are copyrighted to Soxa.


That Bill on SG is one of the public domain ones. Never have used that particular pose.


BTW the CHB character is coming soon. Bwahahahaha.


I can feel the coffee inching through my nostrils already.

I'm ready for CHB in a Texas Death match in the back room of the hawk and Dove (look it up).


mysteriously,

lc

CHB in Somali Pirate Apprentice Galley Slave - set your DVRs now

How about CHB Apprentice? A dozen schlubs vie for the chance to bring the Curly-Haired Boyfriend his morning coffee and box scores, conduct seances to bring back "The Curse", "research" other writers material for recycling by CHB (or write their own material to publish under Dan's by-line), use a thesaurus to "improve" first drafts, etc. Win the immunity challenge and get to play butt-booty to Shaunessey's Somali Pirate.


Sponsored by Merriam-Webster, a ComCast Sprots production. See local listings for day and time in your area.

What? Lisa's got nothing to say on the New Zealand football team? Shit, eh.

I have to say that North Korea played respectably against Brazil today. Of course, you would too if your wife had a gun to her head and your kids were suspended over a snake pit back home in the motherland.

Speaking of footie, I hope you've all seen this replay of the US v. England WC match highlights done with Legos. Classic take on Green's "Hands of Clod" moment.

Sox win, Celtics lose.


Fuck me, beautiful.

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