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Flapped? Wha?

So I find it amusing that a professional dancah who gets paid to sing and do choreographed steps in front of audiences won Dancing With the Stahs. Shocking.


I mean all they need now is toss in a $200 million plus payroll and it's "World Series with the Yankees."


Speaking of the the Yankees, the previous insurmountable lead now seems rathah surmountable.


Seriously, the Red Sox are mounting that lead like the well-hung pool guy in a horny MILF porno.


You know I nevah doubted it for a minute. Heh.


Me neithah.


For real, if there's one word to describe Red Sox fans it's "even-tempered."


Dude, if I were any more unflappable, I'd be an ostrich.



The fifth panel recalls a recent tweet from my NPR crush Peter Sagal, host of the excellent news quiz "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me": "Ah, Red Sox, didn't doubt you for a moment...More like the month of April." Hee. Have to admit, I was as flappable as a hummingbird this spring, will try to muster some sangfroid for the rest of the season.

If this is how they really want to play the game, then I'd trade all of June's wins and suffer through a redux of April for just 1 more win from the Celtics. They just *can't* go out like the Bruins did. They just *can't*.

Sorry, Kaz, but that's sacrilege to me. I find no other sport on the planet as boring as pro basketball. I'd rather watch cricket...

Way late in getting today's post up. Had it written on schedule then got blindsided with the unexpected.

Meanwhile, I will be off tomorrow to extend the long weekend and get out of town. It'll be the first road trip with the big guy Butch, so bittersweet but still good to get out and away for a bit.

The long, glorious arc of the season rears it's head again. Love baseball because the Sox can have an April like they had, and a resurrection in May, and we still have four months of the unknown to unfold before us. Awesome.

sure, ok, whatever. have fun hb



I doubted it for many, many minutes, and I doubt it still. Those effing DRays look pretty good.

I assume you meant 'without the big guy ....'. Or are you going Tony Perkins on us?

unflappable ostrich is h.b. hr#2 on the season.

after an amazing road trip (which strangely included two at home) against top teams, now we get kc, oakland and cleveland at home? mount up.

yes, meant "without" for sure. :)

Not sure how anyone can enjoy the NBA, seeing as how it's fixed. Obviously, they couldn't have the series end last night given that there's -- what -- three weeks until the Finals start. Kicking out Perkins took care of that.

Take heart, Celtics fans: The NBA wants an LA-Boston final, and they'll get it. They always seem to get the matchup they prefer.

The reason I know baseball's not fixed is because a 2003 World Series between the Cubs and Red Sox would have been a ratings dream.

I agree about basbell not being as fix-able as basketball. Exhibit 1: Tim Donaghy.

But then along comes someone like Joe West, and it makes me wonder. Still, I think he's just a morbidly obese a-hole who isn't mentally agile enough to actually throw a game without getting caught.

Oh, this is a good one: a Snankee fan at work said that if the Celtics lose the series, the Bruins and Celtics collapses are a direct result of Sox fans giving Skankees' fans the business for '04.

I wonder what retribution Skankees fans get for giving us never-ending shite from 1918 until '04?

I really have keyboard palsy today. Basbell? Snankee?

Is there really any worse retribution for them than having to be associated with New York, Bob?

Joe West got a lifetime pass from me by getting a couple calls right in what will always be known as the Greatest Postseason Comeback of All Time

h.b., is the "with the big guy" faux pas the most classic, albeit touching, Freudean Slip" in recent memory?

And what about Papi and Beltre. If I were a Skankees fan, I might suggest that they're both back on the juice. But I'm not so I won't. I want some of their vitamins, however.

Over the last 10 games, the Sox are the hottest team in baseball. I agree with Soulie that one of the great things about baseball is that the long season provides many ups to revel in and many downs to complain about.

"marathon,not sprint" ;)

Flapping like a duck scattering for cover; gliding high and proud like a hawk off Cathedral Ledge. Just taking what they pitch to me, currently enjoying the high flying like its always been this way, and having a grand time mixing my metaphors.

Change gears - when I am in my less than peaceful moods and think a-holes like Ump Bob Davidson should have their eyes blacked by someone, I wonder.. What is the grievance procedure for a player or manager when an ump steps over the line? Is there any recourse? or, in the words of the long gone DC area DJ Nino Greasemanelli, does a player just have to get on his knees and talk to the judge? anyone know?

The various Red Sox players with bad facial hair (Beckett, Youkilis, et al) are off the hook: Matt Garza is now the unified world champion of shitty looking beards.

Please recall my post of a few weeks ago when I predicted that the Red Sox would eventually get off their asses: You know, as much as one would think being right 9 out of every 10 times would confer an advantage in life, sometimes it's actually kind of a burden.

"unflappable-ostrich". Classic line hb. Well done!

I'm going to steal "disinvestedly."

"...it's actually kind of a burden." Couldn't agree more, Jason. Kind of like my incredible good looks. We all have our crosses to bear.

And Garza needs a couple of Capt'n Lou Albano's rubber bands to complete the look. Maybe Brad Pitt could loan him a couple.

maybe he can grow the goat hair long enough to braid it, then have to flip it out of the way and back into his shirt with every pitch like all the damn necklaces the various pitchers now wear.

I'm not wholly convinced we're flying yet instead of just falling with style.

I'll take more comfort when we pass more than just Toronto.

Kaz: surly but lovable(TM)?

Aaah...the true Mothra returns

Remember that movie, "Scanners"? 'Nuf said about watching Dice-K pitch last night.

See you back here on, Tuesday. Have a great long weekend.

-- h.b.

Have a good one, h.b.

If the Sox start losing again, does that mean the Celtics are allowed to win tonight?

Doesn't do us much good to sweep da Rays on the road only to lose to the lowly Royals at home.....
Hopefully they can bounce back and take the next three

Just got word that we're being paroled early today.

Have a great long weekend all. Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Tuesday.


RIP Gary Coleman. All kidding aside, the man had a tough life. No one should peak at 8 yrs old.

agreed, Jeff. and all of Avenue Q mourns.

Have a safe one, everybody. Off to see Wake pitch a gem

I'm late to the game;
But want to say: Tito is
A do-nuffin fuck.

Well bwf, you sure gooched that one...

Hey Kaz, now that you've won your stupid basketball game, can we can back to the pennant race?

Yeah. That lead is lookin' a little more "surmountable" thanks to the SAWX getting mounted by the Big Bad KC Royals 2 nights in a row. Face it chowdah heads - you do the Emperor's bidding for him. "Sweep the Rays!" commands your Emperor, George S. "Now lay down like little bitches against the Royals!!".
"Yes, master..", you seem to mutter. "As you command..."

Hugs and kisses,

P.S. Whenever SAWX fans bitch about payroll - especially when you are playing Kansas City - the rest of the baseball world hates you just a little bit more. Keep up the good work...

SDU, we've got until Thursday. The Sox can go crazy all over the MLB until then.

Either that or this city has gotta figure out how to get more than 1 W at once.

LOL. I don't usually post from this computer. Naming myself "The Bruins" for that last post has given me a sad.

Feeling generous, so I'll feed the troll..

The only person talking payroll is you BB.

You are projecting your Oedipal relationship on the Redsox with your Yes Master stuff (Oedipal - look it up). I hope your momma is in better shape than George S or I have a newfound sympathy for you.

and where does the name BigBri come from anyway? is that your ego saving name for your dick, you know, the little incher that your momma calls "her li'l pinky"?

your intelligent post of a week or so back was apparently all you could muster before reverting to troll status.

have a nice day. speaking for most of redsox fandom, we'd rather be fans of a team losing to the royals than fans of any team that would have you as a fan.

enjoy your day - go lick your mom's asshole now, she's waiting.

Hey Jeff (aka FUCKNUT),

I know you don't read so well so I'll type this s l o w l y. The post ITSELF talks about payroll.
That is to say H.B. is talking about payroll when one of his chowder-munching "characters" says, "I mean all they need now is toss in a $200 million plus payroll and it's "World Series with the Yankees."
Not sure if you are aware of how this works, but H.B. posts (mostly inane, rambling) "blog entries" and then people are allowed to reply by posting what we call "comments". I realize they only recently were able to wire up North Carolina to receive information from "the Interwebs" so I don't mind helping you out.
Now,isn't there a BBQ or a NASCAR race or maybe a good, long session of fuckin' your sister you have to attend to?

Hugs and kisses,
P.S. - I took your advice and looked up "Oedipal". According to most sources it means "Mother's Day celebration in North Carolina"
Thanks FUCKNUT! I didn't know that before I met you! And I LOVE to learn!

heh heh heh. well done. you've got me laughing. I used to think the same of NC until I moved here and found out its actually every bit as sophistiacted as every other east coast state (and way ahead of Ga). People talk slower, so douchebags think southerners are unintelligent, but its just because they aren't in a hurry. Pretty simple really - the rest of the country should try it.

And on the $ thing - yea I know hb has it is in his strip in a context that isn't so much complaining as stating a fact. Not sure why Yankee fans reject that fact so vehemently. The Yankee organization doesn't. And the $ are real - the difference between Yankees apyroll and Redsox payroll is roughly equivalent (big word) to CC + Tex this year. That's real difference. Doesn't mean the Yankees did wrong to spend it, but its quite stupid to act like it doesn't have a bearing on the performance of the team.

and yes, if I were an owner spending $160M like Redsox and watched my team lose to KC I'd be pissed. And if I spent $200M and didn't win the WS, I'd be pissed. The money matters, even to the yankees, even if yankee fans want to deny it..

Don't feed the troll.

@Jeff: Dude: i know you have experienced this. Nice day: you are at a friend's place, outside in a lawn chair and having a beer or 2; the friend has a puppy; puppy has a tennis ball. Puppy drops this wet thing in your lap and you throw it and the puppy brings it back, at bit wetter, and drops it in your lap. And you throw it again. Repeat again and again until you realize that you may have made a mistake?
So stop responding to tiny Bry - or, seriously, you'll end up with drool all over your crotch.

@urm - You are dead on right. But between his, Yazbread's, and now your response, I have had enough laughter to have made the feeding worth it (not to mention my own giggling while I wrote the menu to begin with). To elaborate on your analogy, the puppy drops the wet thing in my lap and everyone says "Don't do it dude. The dog is a retard and he won't quit" So I throw the ball anyway, the dog chases, trips, falls a few times, gets chased by a cat (the dog is retarded and a pussy), runs into a tree, gets the ball, brings it back - I'm laughing my ass off. Then the dog just goes back to licking his own balls for the rest of the day because I went to the front yard and, after all, the dog is retarded.

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