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Truck Day, 2010

Mike:
Alright, so rathah than going with haiku, my innah-Irishman says we should attempt the limerick form to commemorate this important day.

 

Al:
Was your innah-Irishman drunk?

 

Mike:
On Jamesons, absolutely.

 

Doug:
OK, so my innah-Frenchman is in...

There was a man with a big truck, / Who said, "Winter in Boston does most suck!" / So he loaded up 60 crates, / Grabbed some porn to masturbate, / And sped to Fort Myers with throttle amok!

 

Al:
"Amok"? That's your final rhymah?

 

Mike:
Seriously, dude, who's driving the truck, Mr. Spock?

 

Al:
Heh, yeah, considering the porn ref, maybe it's the Bearded Spock and the Bearded Clam.

 

Doug:
Very funny, wise asses, let's hear what you've got.

 

Al:
How's this then?

Another overcast wintry day, / Of the Sox, there was nothing to say; / But along came a truck, / And a wicked change of luck, Among grapefruit the Sox will play!

 

Doug:
Not bad. Mike?

 

Mike:
The days had grown so dreary. / So, too, our hearts were most weary; / Then they backed up the Truck / While the crowd roared, "Yankees suck!" / And once again we were quite cheery.

 

Al:
The winter meme has settle ovah us, eh?

 

Doug:
Hell, yeah, it has, check it...

On the hot stove there was little to speak, / A simmering thin soup of potatoes and leeks; / Then a truck headed to Myers, / Loaded with all the Sox attire, / Of pitchers and catchers we'll soon speak.

 

Mike:
Ah, nice metaphor.

 

Mike:
But it's not all fun and games is it?

There was a company called Jet Blue, / Whose sponsorship was quite a taboo; / Kaz said, "What a dahk friggin hour!" / And all the Soxaholix felt sour; / Sometimes the Red Sox just haven't a clue.

 

Al:
Buy that man a Guinness.

 

Comments

BRILLIANT!!

At New England Tractor Trailer Training School/
Alliteration was considered the height of cool/
Until Larry Lucchino walked in/ and said with a grin/I've got two Ls and the Sox truck for you fools.

http://www.nettts.com/


School motto: All our guys have three DUIs.

There once was a team north of Nantuckett
Who told their fan base time to truck it
True fans pay their dues
With a card or Jet Blue
We'll squeeze ev'ry dime so just suck it!

There once was a rodent from PA
Whose shadow foretold the Sun's ray
But a rats not a truck
and the Yankees still suck
Oh praise God it's finally Truck Day.

Awesomeness. Keep 'em coming!

Funny stuff! Love it!

Holy Crap! It's even in today's comics.

http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/

In London it’s cold, dark and gray

3,000 miles away from Truck Day

But plans are in motion

To cross o’er the ocean

And soon I’ll be watching the Sox play!


That's all I'm saying for now. :)

You guys are just amazing. Every limmerick is just better than the last, until I go back and re-read them again. Then the first one is the best, then the next, and the next...


I really wish I could come up with something that wouldn't reflect so poorly on myself, but I'm currently under the weather with a bad case of Pon farr syndrome, and can't think rationally.


You all really do rock! Please, oh please keep 'em coming.

The snow is really starting to blow
We’re ready for spring seeds to sow
Time to come alive
Sox marketing is in overdrive
It’s "Happy Truck Day" don’t you know!

The Fenway is covered in snow
No grass to speak on to mow
But they're filling the truck
And with any luck
It'll warm up in time for the show!

Truck Day should be sponsored by a sauce
That gives gate B sausages a gloss
Sriracha's the name,
it packs quite a flame
and helps us forget Randy Moss

“Truck day can make money” they snickered
The Soxaholix were then all atwitter
It took away some of the joy
To bring in the hoi-polloi
But we love our team and won’t quit her

Great strip as usual. I'm just a little confused, and not just because I'm a Yankee fan, but what do they load on the truck to take to Florida every year? Is it stuff they can't afford to buy duplicates of? I mean can't they afford the extra bats, balls and gloves without having to ship them every year? Or are they shipping more "intangible" stuff, like their World Series trophies? Does the truck have to be that big then :)

They need to put GPS tracking on the truck. It passes within 2 miles of my house as it comes down I-95. I just have no way of knowing when.

That's next year, COD. Sponsored by Garmin

Sorry, Joe in Jersey, it's a secret. Like our own version of Mystique and Aura.


Which means the truck is full of hookers. Lots and lots of hookers.


Ok, my limerick:


There once was a Day known as Truck
It brought with it Spring and Good Luck
Of course you realize
How I started these lines
Was just to end it all with the word Fuck

And in honor of Sunday:


Sox are red,
Pinstripes are blue.
We'll win the East;
No wildcard for you!

Tom and Theo were noshing on lox,
While staring at an empty cash box.
So they monetized the truck,
Fans screamed what the fuck?
These are not my father’s sox.

There is a Green Monster named Wally
He’s not shepherd, nor blood hound, nor collie
But he has quite a bite
And he’s ready to fight
Other mascots, they gasp and say “Golly!”

There once was a trucker named Lee
Who packed up the balls and the tees
He started to drive
Down I-ninety-five
But got stuck in the snow in DC

The salt still clung to his tires
When he finally pulled into Ft Myers
By then Larry found
That sponsors abound!
Every inch of the jerseys had buyers.

MEMORANDUM
To: Larry Lucchino
From: Soxaholix
Re: Revenue Opportunities

The equipment truck drives the length of the Eastern Seaboard with an entire passenger seat empty. In fact, two trucks went this year. Those seats could be sold to rabid Sox fans for two to three times the price of airfare to Florida.

At the Fens from the Charles upriver
The accountants looking for more cash did shiver
The last bastion of uncommericialized Red Sox did they spy
One more thing to soak the fans they did cry
The beancounters had their first orgasmic quiver

In honor of Dice-K's Japanese heritage, a haiku:

Truck Day Winter ends
An untapped revenue stream
Good fans fly Jet Blue

Honestly, Lucky you don’t have clue,
Your choice for Truck Day is JetBlue?
Hart Brachen ain’t so afraid
Let him help you with October’s parade,
Brought to New England courtesy of “Sunsets by Lou”

Our larry once ran things in Bal'more

And the product on the field there was a snore

So he shipped out west

Then came back to the best

And now empties our pockets for more

The truck's on schedule to arrive this Sunday/While JetBlue is stuck on the runway/While truck day purity I'll miss/I'll leave you with this/Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about Monday.

Bob, well done.
everyone else, too. LMAO

No need to roll your eyes Madam ;O

im wif yazbread

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