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Inexplicable

Bill:
So did you see that Matsuzaka might be coming back? Guess the othah the othah night Matzusaka didn't have any control problems and looked OK in his 89 pitch, 6 2/3 innings rehab staht against the Single A Dash.

 

Mike:
Yeah, I saw the report from his rehab staht, but most people missed the othah story.

 

Bill:
What othah story?

 

Mike:
Seems that just aftah Dice-K's outing, EMTs were summoned to Gene Hooks Field in Winston-Salem as dozens of fans were afflicted with what officials are calling an "unusual and sudden and unexplained near simultaneous trance-like state."

 

Mike:
Witnesses described those striken as being "slumped" and "unresponsive."

 

Mike:
"They were like zombies," said Trey Church, a 14 year old from Guthrie, NC, "except they weren't moving or eating brains or nothing."

 

Mike:
"They eyes was open, but they was no life in 'em. And nones of 'em wanted any o' my hotdogs neither," was the description given by Jesse Jones, a vendah at the pahk.

 

Bill:
What about those in the trance?

 

Mike:
Most victims had no recollection of what had happened, although a few did.

 

Mike:
"Once the foreign feller started pitching, it was like time just got slowed down real good. The whole world just went slo-motion like," Darrell Weaver, a 38 year old man from Winston described his recollection of the creepy phenomenon.

 

Mike:
"It was terrifying," related Marcy Beauragard, 53, of Muddy Creek. "I thought it was End Times and I was Left Behind."

 

Mike:
The cause remains a mystery. But a spokesperson for the FBI said they do not suspect terrorism at this time.

 

Bill:
Ah, Dice-K, we kid because we love. Kind of.

 

Comments

Friday evening at 5 o’clock as the work week ends,
Noisily, tackling beer cart guy
Sips his first sip with a cackling sigh;
He goes outside to a pub that used once to be called Pete’s.
Happily dodging the Flea Market fleas
Stepping inside he is free.

Bob (he gave us lots of good laughs)
Is drinking (some in bad taste but good laughs)
Beer (He can’t work out how they brew it so cheap)
Bob’s drinking beer after ‘musing us here
For so many beers. (Beer Beer.)

Monday morning, there’s something fun just to yak about.
Cautiously trying the one month old veal
Causing his Abby to let out a squeal
He breaks down ‘til purple Berocc’ and Jamieson’s whiskey kicks in.
Lots of B-vitamins in those pink pills
Along with Sriracha will cure most ills.

Bob (he gave us lots of good laughs)
Is drinking (some in bad taste but good laughs)
Beer (He can’t work out how they brew it so cheap)
Bob’s drinking beer after ‘musing us here
For so many beers. (Beer Beer.)

Bob’s drinking beer, beer, beer.

[Okay so I'm a day late; its Saturday here]

離れる松坂アローン!


matsuzakaサン
ばね時間のxの要因
lcか。 それはあるか。

Thanks, H.B.


Now I have half a bagel coming out of my nose, which is not only gross, bit painful.


GREAT strip. One of the best ever in terms of laughing so hard co-workers get concerned.

I'm sorry, I have to comment again (not that that's ever happened before, right?).


But my God, this strip should be in the Smithsonian. If not that, the Jonestonian.


Janice,the woman who works behind me in my office (her office?) keeps asking, "what's wrong?" because I'm choking and laughing so hard.

anyhow, I'm seeing Beckett on Sunday. let's see what that red-ass has got.

My dream scenario:

beckett for 7
Bwags for the 8th
Paps for the 9th

I'm feelin' it.

Bob,


So glad to hear you like this one.


This is one of those times that I had no idea how it would be received and several times I almost bailed on it because I wasn't sure if it'd work.

scratch that. Bucholz on Sunday. I suck

One other thing:

It's 9/11, bitches. Stay pissed.

Thanks and god bless.

lc

h.b.
FWIW, it's brilliant. very X-files ish

Good point, L.C.


I was working in the next-to-top floor of the Tower Records Building, (which is one of the two buildings on H.B.'s page that I've worked in).

Phenomenal strip h.b. Flippin laughing my ass off.

Yesterday and today have been the online comic equivalent of Johnny Van de Meer's back to back no hitters in the 50s.

Great strip, fun to read, knowing the punchline but having to wait for it, wait for it, more detail, wait for it... there it is! Nice.


You should think about writing a daily comic strip.

"Once the foreign feller started pitching, it was like time just got slowed down real good. The whole world just went slo-motion like," Darrell Weaver, a 38 year old man from Winston described his recollection of the creepy phenomenon.


What's worse is that Darrell was TWELVE when he got to the ballpark that day!

Despite that "Laugh In"-style joke, Kaz actually is funny.


(I kid because I love, Kaz.)


AND he and his cousin were just dating- they got married during the 7th inning stretch

Beautiful, Kaz!

No Kaz, that was his other brother Darrell that was younger.....parents lived too close to the RJR tobacco plant in Winston-Salem and certain side-effects occurred.

... during the traditional singing of "honky tonk badonkadonk"

"I went to a ballgame and a Lost episode broke out."

Kaz's joke:


Alan Sues.


Perhaps with a dash of Charles Nelson Reilly.


And a pinch of Paul Lynde.


"Oh, pinch me big boy!"


I must of been a stupid child, because I never knew any of them were gay. I just thought they were funny.


That's why I'm such a tolerant person today.


(Big Bri's a prick and Derek Jeter can go to f-ing hell.)

wait- they were gay?

It is a fact that there are cracks in time
W.P. Kinsella, The Iowa Baseball Confederacy

Here's a fun little ditty from the WSJ Online Edition this morning, comparing beer prices in ball parks to the quality of play:


"Of course, nothing compares to Boston's Fenway Park. There, you'll pay $7.25 for just 12 ounces—a rate that is, ounce for ounce and win for win, the worst beer value in baseball."


Thank you, Il Duce. You whoring prick.


http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203440104574400704055332382.html

mmhmm, if the foreign feller don't work out in Beantown, mebbe he can go to work for Bill Cox's outfit, mmhmm

Hey, I know we're kind slowww here in Noth Cackalacky and it maybe taken me some time today to reelize you was talkin on my kinfolk, but why's everbody talkin bout ma sister Darrel like she's a man? Ma brothers and me and somma our kinfolk calls her Darrell cause, well her real name is Dara Lee Weaver but we all calls her Darrell cause when me and ma brothers get ta playin doctor and gettin nekkid with Dara Lee and when we turns her around to play with her hind end she looks a lot like our little brother Darrell who we keeps in the basement cuase he keeps talkin ta strangers bout how we likes ta play with his hind end (we calls him BigBri for short). So thats why we calls here Darrell and for 38 she gots one tight tight little hiny. But y'all cain't know that less you been doctorin with Dara Lee too.


and in case y'all dint known it, Wenzday is church day in these parts. Ya, we know Sunday is the good lord's day but it's real christian like to go to church again on wenzday ta get a little mor God in us. So we is used ta sittin round gettin talked at and being quiet and zombie like like ya do when you is in church. But goodlordalmighty, that feller from way fars away, Discy or somethin like, (Grandaddy says he is Nipponese) can just plain make ya stupid.

testing

Wow, Jeff. Part of a good story is making it believable, but hell, that was just a little *too* believable. (Yeah, I've been to the Cackalackys.) Got any neighbors down there still fightin' the War Between the States?

That was either pretty damn funny, Jeff, or pretty damn disturbing.


In either case, I approve.

Thanks Jeff, I just spewed M Dew all over my computer, desk, floor, neighbor.

Huh, How do they paint grass that way?

BTW, Jeff, one of my very best friends is from Beaufort, SC (he HATES Duke, but loves UNC. And he graduated from both Brown and Johnson and Wales. Interesting guy, but still has a very thick accent).


My fav line from him: "Ooooh, Bobby; you do NOT wanna be going to Gulla Gulla. Even us poor black folk are afraid of those people. They have a Frogmore Stew made outta people meat."

Rob, I think you mean the War of Northern Agression.

insert second "g"

pronouced Bew-Ferd, if you can believe it.

More perplexing is that Beaufort, NC is pronounced BOW-ferd

crazy crackahs

Considering "Worcester" (to name but one) I'm not sure it's wise throw stones at regional place pronunciations.

Kaz, other than Abby and The Soxaholix (not necessarily in that order), that CNR vid may be the sngle greatest thing I've ever seen.


(Well, obviously with a few exceptions in Daytona Beach, Vegas and a few wood panelled rooms in Los Angeles, but you get my drift.)

NolaSox - I think you meant the War of Southern Stupidity.

@hb: I am neither wise nor erudite, nor I am from Leominster

I knew Nola had taken up arms against those "Damn Yankees". I just thought she only meant the ones from the Bronx.

@yaz, I'll use that one on the debs at the next fancy uptown tea party. Oh, wait, I don't get invited to those.

Nola: let's meet for tea at Maison Blanche. Oh wait it closed.

Yes, to second Nola, the War of Northern Aggression is alive and well here.


Let me illustrate with some local definitions...


Yankee = any northerner (losely defined as anyone from North of where my pickup truck is parked).


Damn Yankee = any Yankee who comes south to visit and drives too fast and talks wrong.


God Damn Yankee = A Damn Yankee who doesn't leave.


I would be in the GDY category - DO NOT CONFUSE this with MFY though. Entirely different species.

Funny thing about sushi burps. They smell and taste like old, digested fish.


Anyway, I'm trying to sneak out of here (There doesn't appear t be any beer in the fridge, so what's the point?).


Have a great weekend all.


Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday.

goddamn, this crowd has bountiful useless knowledge at hand, don't it

Spent time in Beaufort SC recently for a funeral. Beautiful old antebellum city. Hot as fuck in July.


I have lots of family in SC and NC. Lot of freinds here too. We can tease each other pretty good about northern and southern ways. And if it goes too far, then we get ta makin a pot of Frogmore Stew.

lc, actually MB is now the Ritz so I could meet you there for a Sazerac. I could use one after finding out that our deck contractor shot a nail into our a/c unit and then the a/c guys dropped the replacement. Jeff, you could make a killing here since we could use contractors who aren't evil or just plain incompetent.

Nolasox - that has me laughing. You should maybe consider hiring some guys to wave palm fronds over you since having AC does not seem to be in your destiny any more.


Evil.. "killing".. competant.. I COULD RULE THE WORLD!!

Bob, if you're still out there today, you can see Jello Biafra and others at the Voodoo Experience in New Orleans on Halloween weekend if the wedding plans allow.

Jeff, husband just called to say it's still not working. I know he won't fan me since its college football season and that would require putting down the remote or beer. I can't afford palm frond wavers and they would probably scratch the hell out of me or use ones covered in slugs. I've just decided to let the kids run feral around the house, while I escape to hopefully watch a beatdown of the Rays.

The last time I saw Jello (and The Dead Kennedys), I got tear gassed.


Good times, good times.

Oh, I'm laughing. But again late to the party. The next game has already started as I'm just getting over the last and ready for the next. Ha ha to you all in the future I know the outcome before the next is the after of the time of your past. Ha ha, I say!

I wish I knew what the hell it all meant, sdu, but I'm happy for you

Fuck Adelaide, is what I derived from that link.

I could be wrong, though

lc

Pithy and degenerate as always lc - could not have put it better myself. Fuck 'em (although they looked real sad at the end).

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