Caught between a peen and a poon

Mike:
OK. I need to back up a bit. I know this deal has already been denied but I don't think Gammons has reached the point where he just makes shit up.

 

---

Doug:
True. He is writing for the ESPN masthead aftah all and not the New York Times.

 

---

Mike:
Clay Buchholz, Michael Bowden, Justin Masterson, Nick Hagadone and Josh Reddick for Roy Halladay?!?!?

 

---

Mike:
Really? Are you effin' shitting me?

 

---

Doug:
I know. I'm not sure what's more insane — Theo offering this deal or Ricciardi not taking it?

 

---

Mike:
Seriously. I mean who else what Ricciardi hoping they'd throw in fercrissakes, Richard Seymour?

 

---

Doug:
OK, here's a stat for ya. The Red Sox are 42-21 against AL East, best inter-divisional record of any team in eithah league.

 

---

Mike:
Yeah, well, that would mean more if this year's AL East wasn't so soft.

 

---

Doug:
Pffft. Soft like your mothah.

 

---

Mike:
Hey, do I need to send a hermaphrodite ovah there to kick your Franco-American ass?

 

---

Doug:
Heh. Speaking of … Serena Williams vs Castah Semenya. Greco Roman wrestling. Sans Ditka. Who wins?

 

---

Mike:
Hmmmm…

 

---

Comments

[Colin]

Even bigger concern...Dice-K is back.

God I can only pray he doesn't suck up tonight's game that I'm attending with the missus.

Oh and my money's on Serena.

[LarryE]

My money's on Serena as well, except Semenya having testicles on the inside is certainly an advantage in kicks to the groin.

And it'll definitely be interesting to see what Dice-K can do tonight. The Angels are somewhat better than a Single-A team.

[yazbread]

Once he got comfortable and into a rhythm, he threw really well .....
Plus the paint had dried by the time he came off the mound after the first inning, added the official.

[Colin]

I'm so fucked with tonight's game aren't I?

[Bob]

Please, coffee.

And blow.

And just a touch of meth.

Oh, and if that Gammon story is true, Riccardi is an idiot.

Now I go back to work. And by work, I mean head-on-keyboard.

[Designated Sitter]

re: Gammons' article - love the part where Beckett says he's going to get his curveball straightened out (?)

Got tickets for this Saturday and Sunday at Fenway south; can't wait.

[Kaz]

That's easy. Sans Ditka wins.

And then kills his parents for naming him Sans.

[Harwich Rich]

Ahhh-the old House of Poon,I remember it well.(Right,Kaz??)

[Follower of Tito]

Serena all the way...I am not sure which was more frightening: the thought of her inserting that fuzzy ball into a body cavity or giving a "big ole hug" to the line judge by way of an apology

This whole thing has the lyrics of the Kinks' "Lola" bouncing around my head

[buckner was framed]

lol Kaz....
anyone else besides me miss Gammons at the Globe?

[Kaz]

Absolutely, Harwich Rich. Near 12 Corners. But it's gone now. There was a fire on Christmas Eve 2008 and they have never reopened it.

Also, another weird Rochester connection in the news. The woman, Annie Le, who was killed and put into a wall in the basement of the Yale science building was a UR graduate. It's where she met her fiance, also a UR graduate, whom she was to marry last Sunday.

[Devine]

I'd like to fuck Serena Williams (channeling Pedro RE: Sports Illustrated for Kids).

That's probably partly why I'd pick her to win.

[Kaz]

Consideration, Devine:

If she wins, she can have any guy she wants, whenever she wants. If she loses, she'll need pity sex and not have the self-confidence to turn anyone down.

Just a thought.

[Bob]

Devine, did you ever act in any John Waters' flicks?

[Mr Eggman]

Is that Devine, or Divine?

[Mr Eggman]

Is that Devine, or Divine?

[Harwich Rich]

Coo-Coo Ca Chook ;D

[yazbread]

You would be foolish to put money on Serena. That line judge pulled a 'rope-a-dope' against her and Serena had no idea what hit her. Don't mess with Asian women - they have incredible inner strength.

[Kaz]

True, yazbread, it's all the kegel exercises.

[Kaz]

By the way, Red Sox postseason ticket lottery registration just started at noon today.

Beware, though, you have to give MLB a credit card number for a free sign up! And there's a goddamn SI offer as part of it that you have to make sure you read closely so that you don't accidentally get a bunch of "free" issues (then the rest of the year at 2x cover charge! or whatever). What a goddamn scam of a registration process. Why in the hell do they have to complicate something as simple as drawing names from a hat?

[Devine]

Kaz: SO you're saying she wouldn't pick ME?!

Yeah, thats true.

Bob: I is kinda guilty of ignoring the face sometimes, but srsly, that's quite a rack for an actually-competitive female athlete. And she's got all the stamina in the world; I bet she's terrific in the sack. Plus I actually think she's fetching in her somewhat-mannish way; besides, her sister makes her look like the Venus (haha) de Milo.

God, I hope my wife never looks at this site.

[h.b.]

re Serena v Semenya ...

I think Serena has the upper hand but I like the possibility that Serena loses her cool, gets pissed at Semenya and shoves a fucking ball down Semenya's fucking throat.

But in the process, Serena inadvertently dislodges Semanya's distended testes and with the consequent testosterone overload, the peen grows and Semana takes on full masculine characteristics and then whoops Serena's ass while Oprah watches in tears, helpless.

[More Intangibles than Jeter]

I too would like to play the "old in-out" with Serena Williams, Devine, so I hear ya there. As far as Gammons tale of the Halladay trade, I find it patently bogus, if not a bit absurd. That said, don't be surprised to see Theo make a similar run at King Felix in the offseason with big ol' honkin' package of arms. And if Buster Olney is reading this: we really don't want Prince Fielder, no matter HOW many damned times you rumor him coming to Boston.

[Mrs. Devine]

**bouncing tennis racket in hand**

Honey - Get in here. We need to talk.

Now.

[Kaz]

Careful, Devine, if your balls hit the fence outside, it's a Let and she gets to do it again.

[buckner was framed]

Hypothetically, if Serena shoved the f*ing ball down Semenya's f*ing throat, would we even know? Or would we think it was her Adam's apple?