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Rolling lucky 7's

I'm not sure I quite know what to say — 7-0 against the Bronx Daubahs pretty much says it all.


Yeah, all I know is if Timmah continues to get the wins, I'm going to continue pay homage by way of a daily wake and bake.


Well, I will say this — Papelbon continues to make me chew tinfoil.


Seriously. One of the big pharmaceuticals should feature him in ad spots for hypertension meds.


No kidding. I think I bust a blood vessel in each eye every 9th now.


And, as we've learned from the ubiquitous Levitra ads "hypertension can lead to erectile dysfunction."


I mean if Paps keeps this up next thing you know it's you and your sig othah sitting in separate tubs and staring like dumbfucks into the sunset.


Speaking of ineffective wangs, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, now pitching for the Yankees, Chien-Ming.


I liked the way George King put it — "Wang pitch with the command of a 4-year-old playing pin the tale on the donkey."


Remembah when Wang was anointed as the Yankees saviour? Bwahaha.


But before we go and get too carried away, let's take heed of what Bob Ryan writes this morning: " … the Red Sox only lead those guys by one game in the standings. And if they don't beat 'em tonight, the two will be tied."


Jeez, did Ryan take ovah for Shaughnessy as the Globe's official cockblockah?


Meanwhile, if Penny can somehow summon his innah Quartah Poundah with Cheese, we'll be 2 up and the cockblocking can be postponed for anothah day.



Carbon Copy versus Useless Coin.

Promises to be interesting, especially since they both have my physique.

The thing about a Wakefield win is that it's legal to buy it, it's legal to own it, and if you're the proprietor of the Red Sox, it's legal to sell it. It's illegal to carry it, but that doesn't really matter because get this, if you're stopped by the Yankees from New Amsterdam, it's illegal for them to win. I mean that's a right the Yankees from New Amsterdam don't have.

But do you know what the funniest thing about Europe is? It's the little differences. Do you know what they call Brad Penny in Paris?

A Royale With Cheese. A Big Papi's a Big Papi, but they call it Le Big Papi. What do they call an A-Rod? I don't know, I didn't go into Burger King.

Being in first place feels pretty good. I got no complaints, which makes for a boring comment, doesn't it?

In other news, I met a guy on a plane yesterday who never heard of Duane Allman, but seemed to be quite knowledgeable about Poison and twisted Sister. Maybe my times' up.

laughing all the way through the strip. wife and I had pretty much the same conversation last night. well not the "sitting like dumbfucks" part, but damn if it couldn't happen for real - and all becuase of the Paps E-ticket carnival ride.

Dragging those bathtubs to the edge of a cliff could lead to hypertension. Watching your naked wife straining with her tub doesn't help with the ED either.


funny stuff.

AM tokes, hypertense 9ths, late nights... all this notwithstanding, isn't 7-0 enough stimulation to give you the 7.0?

7.25, Parker.

Was, but got worn down from constant use.

Hi! I just wanted to thank you all for your kind wishes. Although I look horrible, I'm much better than I was, which is tragic when you actually see the horror that is my face!!!

Also, last night was a great game!

Thanks again!

You look beautiful, Sweetie.

Oh, and stop using so many exclamation points.

Okay, I had a whole strip laid out in my head while taking the dog for the post-game stroll before bedtime:

Title: "Wakey-Wakey, Eggs-and-Bakey" (Bud's wake-up to Uma in Kill Bill 2)

Basic theme of tying Wake's performance tying up the Yanks by their genitals to Kwai Chang Caine's, er, comparably successful efforts. (Believe me, it played out pretty well in my head at 11:00 pm last night.)

Then I come in to see today's post, chuckle through Wake-and-Bake and tin foil on teeth references and realize "Rob, my boy, you are definitely no h.b."

Great one, h.b. You are Master Po to our Grasshoppers. Or Master Po to BB's Master Beta.

Abby, glad to see you back amongst the living. Hope you're feeling better. And I'm sure Bob is right re: your looks. Hey, he's never kidded before... :-)

Fun fact for the day -- Boston against teams other than the Yanks: 28-24. Yanks against teams other than Boston: 34-25. Crazy.
My head hurts.

@BM look at the teams the hanks have played.

Oh, never mind.

Rob, That's awesome that you think of your own strips in your head.

And, yes, definitely glad to hear from Abby directly!

How about the shout-out to Trot Nixon from the ESPN booth last night? Right after Nick Swisher dove into the stands for no particular reason except to get some TV face time, Sutton (i think) says something like, "that makes you thankful for a guy like Trot Nixon." Then I says to myself, I can't wait to tell my as-yet unborn children about Trot Nixon.

"Children," I'll say, "sometimes there's a man. I won't say hero, because what's a hero. But sometimes there's a man. And I'm talkin about Trot Nixon here. Sometimes there's a man, and he's the man for his time and place."

Thanks, h.b., but I still have this uncomfortable feeling that perhaps I need to run down to S-Mart ("Shop Smart. Shop "S"-Mart - Bruce Campbell, Army of Darkness) and buy myself a real life. :-D

Anyhoo - the point was really to show my admiration for your ability to put up big numbers day in and day out in this corner of the blog-osphere. It's just not easy.

To paraphrase Sen. Lloyd Bentsen: "Rob in CT, I served with h.b.: I read h.b.; h.b. is a friend of mine. Rob, you're no h.b."

I have to admit though that the diving catch Swisher made to steal a double from Lowell later in the game was one hell of a sweet play.

However, I'm tired of the oral masturbation of Jeter's foul ball catch every time somebody does something near the stands. Jeter did not make a diving catch in the stands. If you want to see a diving catch of foul ball in the stands see Fisk, Carlton - 1975 World Series. Jeter caught the ball on the field of play, and then fell into the stands. He took a couple of steps before he went over the wall and I bet even if he had dropped the ball in somebody's popcorn the out would have stood. It just wasn't that great of a play. If anybody else in baseball had done it it might have been a web gem, and then it would have been forgotten a week later.

Def took as compliment. Indeed, if the characters and what they may or may not say is actually in your head, that is about the best proof I have that I'm doing it right.


I thought the media's love of all things Yankees/Jeter was bad until I watched some of the Lakers/Magic series.

OMFG I've never heard such boosterism for one team be so blatant. The Lakers love knows no bounds with these guys.

Laker love? Ugh. Any chance the announcers mention the absence of endorsement deals for someone as talented as Kobe?

Media's love for Yankees? Peter Gammons and Joe Morgan combined have a less warped perspective of reality. That's the funniest thing I've read in 2009.

Actually, what will be much funnier is when the Red Sox have a winning regular season record against NYY yet finish behind them in the standings.

I hate to use the term "lol", but Al talking about sitting in the bathtubs literally made me lol.

Is there clip art of Marty sitting with his elbows on his desk with his face in his hands?

catching back up..

Kaz - a most excellent rendition of Royale with Cheese. Now to work on a Sox related I Don't Eat Swine piece. one of my favorite bits of all time. that and "bug flies in mouth" on you tube will brighten up any day.

and RE: Jeter's on field catch followed up by his dip into the stands. At the time I said to myself, "Self, that's what a player does that wants to win. Until the Redsox start playing like that...". Then Tek punched Ass-Rod in the face on the way to 1st base, and I said "Self, that's what winners are made of". and a curse was broken. Jeter's dive into the stands had as much necssity as his theatrics after every swinging strike - that motherfucker should get called for an addtional strike every time he "unswings" his missed swing. maybe the girls thinks that's hot? maybe the boys like BB like that playground bullshit? it makes me want to go thru the TV and hit him.

Jason O - couldn't agree more about the record of the rivalry. Beating the yankees is a great little side stage enjoyment for most sox fans, but I'll take a ring with an 0-18 against the yanks any day - and love listening to the "yea, but we beat you" sniveling.

Jeff in NC is certainly wise and possibly virtuous: He's passed one of Marcus Aurelius's 4 chief virtues:

Temperance (i.e., emotional stability)

I'm pretty much fucked on this one.

Want Teixeira?

No man, I don't need first base.

Is Youk Jewish?

Nah, he ain't Jewish. I just don't dig on Teixeira, that's all.

Why not?

Boras clients are filthy animals. I don't hire filthy animals.

Yeah, but Teixeira's good.

Hey, Bryce Harper may play like Mike Piazza, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't pay the filthy motherfucker. Scott Boras sleeps and roots in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't hirin' nothing that ain't got sense enough to disregard the feces coming out of his mouth.

How about Varitek? Varitek works with Boras.

We don't really pay Varitek now either.

Yeah, but do you consider Varitek to be a filthy animal?

I wouldn't go so far as to call Varitek filthy, but he's definitely dirtied. Varitek's got intangibles. Intangibles go a long way.

Ah, so by that rationale, if Teixeira had more intangibles, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?

Well, we'd have to be talkin' about one charming motherfucking Teixeira. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charming than that Gabe Kapler in Tampa Bay, you know what I'm saying?

Kaz is on a roll.

and low volume chuckling follows

Kaz - most excellent.
... "disregard the feces coming out of his mouth" heh heh heh

add the jheri curl and you got the part.

how does one know poison and quiet riot but not Duane Allman fercrissakes...came of age during the hair band crap but the Allman's have always had a special wake n' bake place.

Hi Abby, welcome back. Out here you could get a nice wake n' bake prescription for your pain...that you could "share" w/ Bob. There's even a push to legalize it seeing how our state is near bankruptcy.

And yes, I'd take an 0 - 18 for another ring, too.

JO - wise? virtuous? now you're just name calling. shit, people are going to start putting Mr. in front of my name if you keep that up.

What I really want is a ring AND 18-0.

Kaz - are you doing a wake and bake after your afternoon nap?

Kaz - you're on fiya!

Welcome back Abby, hope you're feeling better.

Okajima san
Warming hearts on a cold night
Derek looked silly.

Manny Delcarmen
While Tito sits on his arse
Blows to lose the game.

cockblocking postponed for anothah day!

Double reverse gooch
On winter's day downunder
Worked a treat today!

Hey hey hey, don't spam that shit in here!

Eight, eight, I forget what eight was for...

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