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But life is just a party (and parties weren't meant 2 last)

Mike:
I know it's only June 12th and all and probably meaningless and most likely fleeting but, damn, I can't help but piss myself ovah it all.

 

Mike:
3 consecutive sweeps of the Yankees!? 8 and oh on the season!? Beating the Yanks in every way imaginable!?

 

Doug:
Absolutely. And who says you shouldn't drink heavily from the grail of meaningless and fleeting?

 

Doug:
I mean it's like being a strangah at a pahty and having the hottest chick there hit on you out of the blue.

 

Mike:
Seriously. This 8-0 run is like that but bettah — It's like getting hit on by the H-O-T-T chick and on the way back to her place she sheepishly confesses that she's a nympho.

 

Doug:
Evan bettah, you get back to her place and your making out and then her roommate comes in and the roommate is not only equally hawt-a-licious but is wearing nothing but a t-shirt emblazoned with the logo of your fave Red Sox blog.

 

Mike:
And then the two chicks ask if you get high and pass over a stash of B.C. skunk, all buds.

 

Doug:
And while your blazing up a forest the two nymphs staht to engage is some heavy girl on girl action while you watch mouth agape.

 

Mike:
And then there's a knock on the door and the roommate says, "Oh, can you get that? It' the pizza I ordered. Threesomes always make me wicked hungry," while giving you a salacious wink.

 

Doug:
So you to the door and open it and...

 

Mike:
It's not the pizza guy but Michael Felgah and he says, "Hey, Kid, what's going on out on the interwebs?"

 

Doug:
And you close the door and think, "Damn, this is some mofo Bob Mahley shit," as you head back to the girls to show them the original red bull.

 

Mike:
Exactly. Just. Like. That.

 


Mike:
Go Red Sox!

 

Comments

I'm speechless...


'Scuse me while I step outside for a smoke.

Damn, h.b., my coffee was still hot. Thank God I'm wearing a black shirt today.

What Rob said ;D

Damn, that was better than the midnight movie on Cinemax. Even bettah, that should BE a midnight movie on Cinemax.

Softcore Soxaholix? Anybody? Anybody?

From the NY Post article: "[1912] also was the first year of Fenway Park. Mystique and aura reside here after the 900th meeting of the two teams in Fenway."


h.b. -- PLEASE tell me that Mystique and Aura AREN'T the two hawt girls he picks up, now that they reside in Fenway.

If at first you don't succeed, go play the Yankees.

Damn!
Now i'm going to be distracted by this scenario for the rest of the day.

Not only did I shoot coffee out of my nose, something else shot out a little lower.


Although I think Michael Felger showing up might deflate my balloon. Unless the pizza was from Regina's.


Yes, Bob, it was from Regina's. (Pronounced Brit style: Re-gyne-ah.)

Masterful yet again h.b.


I was a little disappointed at first there was no gloating to Mahts but this is absolutely hilarious.

Sorry, I am just revising all that in my head for the women of Soxaholix. Let's see... it's like being a strangah at a pahty, hit on by the hottest guy with the incredible body, who on the way back to his place sheepishly admits that he is rich as Croesus. Even better, while you are sitting on the couch talking about where you see yourselves in 5 years, he in a vintage Soxaholix tee shirt... he tells you that he is actually looking for a serious commitment and, staring meaningfully in your eyes, says he thinks he has found in you the perfect woman to be the mother of his children. Then, as he feeds you champagne and strawberries... and things progress... he confesses in a sexy whisper that he not really that into blow jobs but would rather go down on you for a hour, making sure all your needs are met, tenfold. And finally, when the morning comes, he cuddles you for a long while... then invites you for a weekend at his Cape house.

Something like that, maybe? :)

what if the dumb broad, nmypho, pothead phd candidate was wearing one of those new "buy a sunset, bitches" t shirt?

not so much.

sorry to bring you all down, but that's my job.


lc

Damn Nat,that's the second time this morning coffee shot out my nose. It burns,it burns :D

Bravo, Natalie! And thanks for doing that. I was conscious of how male-centrically juvenile today's bit was and hoped the women in the Soxa community would just go with it.


BTW I think the facets of the fantasy guy your wrote of are all possible except for the blow jobs part. Hah.


See everyone, I told you Natalie was hot. Her golden hair, shimmering in the Fenway light as she brought me a beer on the right field roof deck.


Good Lord, my pants need cleaning now.


Oh, hi Abby.


Love you Sweetie.

very nice Natalie, But I'm going with H.B.'s story.

hb- my pleasure. I love a good fantasy and thought today's strip was hilarious. As for the blow jobs bit, I wanted something just as implausible but awesome to women as your scenario was implausible but awesome to men; that was as far as I got! Any other suggestions, NolaSox, birthofasoxfan, Jen in HI or the other Soxaholix chicks?

Natalie,

after the cuddle he cooks you breakfast and makes a nice frothy cappucino. But to make the fantasy complete - he actually calls you the next day.


And he's got Tek thighs and Lowell eyes

Best.

Soxaholix.

Ever.

This is t-shirt worthy!

"Tek thighs and Lowell eyes"

But does he make you quail and brown butter wilted spinach salad, with a raspberry/horseradish venison chop entree and a chocolate souffle for desert?


(I may not be pretty, but I can cook.)


Oh, BTW, fun game to watch last night.

Bob, it's getting hot in here.


Abby, you're a lucky woman.

This is great, but now I'm going to be listening for the pizza guy all night.

Makes me wonder if BigBri will even ascend one inch out of the cellar.

He's hiding over on Surviving Grady lol

dhr, is that your letter writing blog? - cause I'm seriously spending too much time reading it. It reminded me of the Smithsonian response to the guy who dug up a barbie head in his backyard (fake but still funny).

you know it's a great strip when I'm coughing up soda after reading the first panel. Nice work, HB.
.
Ken Singleton sounded like someone brought his dog home in seven pieces after the 8th inning last night. Gardner's 'throw' was called 'a bad break.' Maybe that can get that nitwit who spread 'yankee stadium grass seed' in Fenway to get some more to fill the divot Gardner's toss made. (BTW, how can it be 'Yankee Stadium Grass seed'? Are they growing and harvesting it there, or just selling off the excess for exorbitant prices to dingbats?)

Natalie - you forgot the glass slipper in your revised story line.

Oh come on.. it's not that good is it? Sox are only up two games.
Uh, yeah, it probably is that good. Great strip h.b.

Oh, and he's got a Ph.D. in neuroscience and is a published poet....

Yeah, guys, I live in Cambridge,what can I say?

I have nothing but to say today's strip along with Natalie's and Nolasox's other side of the coin is as good as I've read here or anywhere in a long time - well except for the not that into blow jobs part (what??). I may not be a long timer on this blog, but that was some really good shit being smoked.


oh - and I'll place an order now for the Tek Thighs and Lowell Eyes T - Mrs. Jeff will be all over that. make it a small (you know, tight fitting), and I'll be all over it too :)

Oops, messed up the sequence here....my addition to the fantasy: He's got a Ph.D. in neuroscience and is a published poet...

almost forgot - Billy Mahty, yes it's that good.


one of my subcontractors is a big yankees fan. he is not having the same kind of fun today I'm afraid.

Bown chicka bown bown. Or something like that.
And how about that relaxing 1-2-3 inning by Paps to set the mood.

Natalie, that was simply brilliant. You could punch it up a little bit with an appropriate reference to how much he LOVES you teal dress, and that with a snip here and a sash there he could have it ready for you in time for the Cotillion Ball.


Mmmmm, teal dresssssss...


:-D

Wheels coming off now...


Only five more hours 'til I blow this God-forsaken pop stand.

Best post ever.

You guys know the blow job thing was meant to just be an exaggerated stereotype (sorta like nympho lesbian roommates ;). Personally, I (and most women I know) would *never* want a guy to take that completely off the menu... :)

Natalie - Very glad you felt compelled to clear up the blow job - my fantasy was crumbling, now it is back in full HD mode.


this site is getting creepier by the minute

OK. Natalie's last bit gave me goose bumps (and by goose bumps I mean...)

Tek thighs, Lowell eyes, Natalie lies.

Which one of you edited Felger's wiki entry today?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Felger

The Big Bri version of today:


Wake up in a cold sweat after dreaming that CC was getting serviced by your mom on your pull out sofa in the basement. Change your sticky sheets. Spray on your Axe and get it in your eye. Many chest hairs get caught in your faux gold chain. The zipper on your satin jacket jams. You trip on the stairs as you head to the kitchen looking for breakfast. Note on table says “CC and I went out for coffee. There’s toaster strudel in the freezer.” Then the paper boy hits you in the nads with the Post as you leave the house to go to your proctologist appointment.

Classic, NolaSox. Laughing my ass off. The Post bit was just so insult-to-injury awesome...

@denver the wiki police already cleaned it up and it certainly wasn't me. for those who missed it, here are a couple of entries [by somebody other than me] that were edited for "vandalism"

Felger has become a lightning rod at WEEI due primarily to his abrasive and at times obnoxious interviewing style, and lack of evidence in his articles.
...

His career is not likely to get any-better as his lack of writing skills and inability to productively report journalism has left him as an over-glorified blogger. He is not afraid to tackle subjects he knows nothing about such as baseball and pit bull dogs.

I'm the wiki police.

"...and the roommate is not only equally hawt-a-licious but is wearing nothing but a t-shirt emblazoned with the logo of your fave Red Sox blog."

Wait, why is she wearing a Surviving Grady t-shirt again?


Oh snap, I really did go there! ;)

// Wait, why is she wearing a Surviving Grady t-shirt again? //


Well, that makes sense. It couldn't be Soxa because that site doesn't exist in the character's world. It'd be like JJ seeing someone in a Good Times t-shirt. LOL.


I actually had Dirt Dogs in mind, but SG would work too.


Though, had I a do over, I might say "Kintee" or "Red Seat t" instead.

Nola - I was laughing out loud here in my little consultant cubbie over your post. I had people prairie-dogging over at me wondering what was so funny. What else could I possibly say but, "Um, you wouldn't understand..."


And Kaz's "Tek thighs, Lowell eyes, Natalie lies." needs consideration in the T-shirt mix.

Leave off the "Natalie lies" and I'll buy it, because seriously, I was NOT lying when I wrote that final comment about the "menu." I swear. :)

Epic, brilliant, money...this is some top of Everest stuff today.


Nola and Nat you have truly raised the bar. HB must've been a writer on some of Bob's older movies.


btw - Why does Doug live in a submarine? Guess it keeps the purple Humboldt skunk trapped a little longer.

Wow. This may be the best strip/comments combo ever.


I am nonplussed.

Back from the dry cleaner.


Unlike yesterday, today's post and thread isn't creepy but lovable, it's, uh, stimulating reading.


I definitely don't need to have my pants fluffed.


The strip and comments today are fantastic...Well done h.b. and everyone...Nola your BB version was lol funny!

h.b., i've noticed that you, like the sox, are on a hot streak...

We take 1, 1, 1 'cause of Papi
And 2, 2, 2 for Baldelli
And 3, 3, 3 strikes from Papelbon
And 4, 4, 4 hits from Dustin
And 5, 5, 5 is where Lowell plays
And 6, 6, 6 average Runs Against
And 7, 7 for no Teixeira
And 8, 8...I forget what 8 was for!
And 9, 9, 9, for next series
And 10, 10, 10, 10...everything, everything, everything, everything!


I hope you know this will go down on your permanent season record!

Kaz - you are either THE best multi-tasker...or THE most inefficient employee on the planet and yet somehow still employed. Either way I'm jealous.

SonomaSox, my secret: Maintain LOW expectations. Deliver HIGH...occasionally. ;)

Dirt Dogs is the best Sox blog, HB? Have you been partaking in the kine bud yourself?

da kine,


I confess to having a soft spot for Dirt Dogs. And, of course, quite a soft spot for the hydro. So...

You think you're having a bad day?

I just walked into my closet to find a clean pair of pants and all I could find was a pair of David Carradines

You think you're having a bad day?

I just walked into my closet to find a clean pair of pants and all I could find was a pair of David Carradines

the dreaded double post. too soon, I guess

Kaz - you have a future in consultancy. :-D

hb - you've done it again!


and not too shabby yourself Nat...I guess it can only be a fantasy if that guy doesn't exist, eh?

L.C.-I hope there were no fishnets in there as well ;D

This post and the comments are awesome.

This has been one of the best Soxaholix days. I guess we all really start to jive when the Sox sweep the Yankees 3 consecutive times.

And I like that one day we might see "Yastrzemski" on another Sox Jersey. Drafted Daniel Bard's brother, too.

Well done today, H.B. and the rest of you creepy people.


I'm about to go to beer cart, so have a great weekend all


Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday.

Pizza nymphos are my favorite!!!

If it was a Red Seat t, it would have to be the 'Pigs do Fly'; if Kintees the 'Viva El Papi'. But I would settle on 'Go rent a sunset bitches'. Oh, and v. nice job Natalie. Yesterdays game was a hoot!

i saw today strip being a bit different today.
1st panel. our hero sitting on the phone perhaps thinking "woot"
2nd panel.office intercom system bellowing out"marty, a mr callahan on line 1"
3rd panel.marty ,head on desk groaning.

Any of the readers with long memories of Soxaholix minutia want to take a pass on explaining why mikeya's strip idea is unlikely to appear?


All right. I only made it as far as Natalie's comment and just had to come to the end and post. I FUCKING LOVE Soxaholix. That is all. Always late posting, but I did spit grape nuts and fresh nectarines on my monitor when Doug said "Damn this is some mofo Bob Marley shit." Thanks so much hb and EVERYBODY. I just fucking love it. Go sox. Montana loves you.

Isn't it time to retire the "that was so funny I spat coffee all over my keyboard"/"snarfed my drink up my nose" memes? They're about as fresh as a fish fillet that's been under the heat lamp for two days at a Mass Pike rest stop.

2Q+2Q

@Hudson - Yeah let's retire those memes. Then I can be the last one to have used it here. I'm gonna go wipe off my monitor now.

Hudson-
Who the fuck are you?

excuse me, that was rude. What I meant to say is Go suck BigBri's mom's dick if you don't like the site and the attached deranged individuals who visit here

NolaSox - in my nightmares, swap out Papelbon for CC.

Buck-That WAS BB's mom :D

//Any of the readers with long memories of Soxaholix minutia want to take a pass on explaining why mikeya's strip idea is unlikely to appear?//
Has it to do with Marty's trendy old 'phone that doesn't have an intercom??


Meanwhile, http://bioproj.sabr.org/bioproj.cfm?a=v&v=l&pid=13325&bid=997 "> Fred Snodgrass appeared at Yankee Stadium yesterday playing second base. It must have taken lc, who was at the Snodgrass game, back in time!

Buck - at the end of this thread (one of the greatest redsox trips I've ever been on), I get to your comment "excuse me..." and fucking spit all over my monitor - it's Saturday, so it was beer this time. Still laughing. Hey Hudson, is spitting beer ok? "Go suck BigBri's mom's dick" Bwahahahahahahahahaha.


What an awesome 36 hours. The T shirt should just say "June 12"

lc - Yesterday you alluded to the notion that the Sox have had a harder schedule than the Yanks. You asked me to look at the records of the teams the Yanks have been playing -- I did.
Through yesterday, the weighted (current) average of Yankees opponents is .507. The weighted average of Red Sox opponents is .511.
I'm no statistician, but the difference looks irrelevant to me.

As a woman, I have to say I prefer h.b's version (subbing out, of course, the two women for two hot guys, and skipping the pot altogether. It's better when you're sober.).

This series against Philly has been a lot of fun to watch for some reason. I'd love a Red Sox/Phillies World Series at this rate.

Looks like a plausible option, Kaz.

That was one of the better ones, HB.

He's Dead

@bm. im indifferent


Well since I would be the hot chick (cof cof) the shirt I would be wearing would have to be Call of the green monster

The only thing Natalie left off her perfect guy comment was. "How come I never see you at any games? My seats are just behind John by home plate." Even standing room season tickets would be cool.

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