Doug:
Question: What in the name of your favorite bearded God version was Javier Lopez even doing out there?
Al:
Seriously, was Francona getting bored with the win streak so he just decided to get it ovah with?
Mike:
To be fair, Tito has been avoiding Lopez like he's a Mexican with flu-like symptoms, but he can't run MDC out there every night.
Mike:
And Lopez actually had an OK outing as fah as pitching.
Mike:
And if Penny has an OK outing, Lopez doesn't even come into play.
Al:
OK. Be that as it may, but let me add this …
Al:
I'm willing to cut Brad Penny some slack. Yes, he put 11 baserunnahs on in just ovah 2 innings, he can't find the strike zone, his fastball isn't, and he has can't throw his secondary pitches for strikes —
Al:
But I'll give him a reprieve for last night because there is still a glimmah of potential with Penny.
Al:
For Julio Lugo, on the othah hand, I confess I have no such hope.
Doug:
Me neithah. I mean I've read the countah apologetics on Lugo, but I'm not having it. Like othahs, I'll say he is now my least favorite Red Sox playah of all time.
Mike:
Worse than Jurassic Carl Everett?
Doug:
Hell, yeah, Lugo is like the spawn of Carl Everrett crossed with Rick Cerone.
Mike:
Wow, that's seriously harsh.
Al:
Yeah, and instead of "Ditka" the spawn's middle name is "Blagojevich."
Your omniscient author in absentia:
Bad timing — A streak of 11 and I'm too out of it to give voice to the Soxaholix to discuss it.
But I'm on some heavy duty meds, including that sweetest of elixirs known as codeine cough syrup, which are putting me in la-la land (Oh, hi, Manny!) and allowing me to sleep, sleep, and sleep.
Marty:
That might hurt a bit more, Bill, if your guy Ellsbury didn't look so bad swinging at the ball.
Bill:
Oh, c'mon, Mahty, you really want to talk about looking bad? I tell you what looked bad — 9 Yankees on the field and
not one of them
was on guard for a potential straight steal of home?
Bill:
Wow, you guys sure get a lot of value for dollahs, don't you. Heh.
Bill:
Oh, and how'd you like are two rooks last night,
Masterson
followed by
Jones and Bowden? Pretty impressive, eh?
Bill:
Hey, you got a pen handy, Mahty, because I've got something important for you to write down — "minah league system."
Bill:
I just wanted to be the first to call and say, wow, you guys sure do know how to open up a new ballpahk.
Yowzah.
Marty:
You know, Callaghan, I've got to hand it to you …
Marty:
For a guy who could land a starring role in the fesish porn biz at smalldick.com, you sure do have a lotta balls making this call when the Red Sux are in the cellar.
Mike:
But, as I happy as I am this morning, let's keep a little perspective.
Bill:
Oh, I know, with the knucklah and the inherent inconsistency that comes with it, nobody would be shocked if Wakefield gives up a half dozen runs in his next staht.
Bill:
OK new rule — I no longah have to feel guilty for not staying up for an entiah West Coast late staht game
as long as the Sox
are below .500.
Mike:
What the hell is up with
Lestah? His first staht you say, well, he's rusty, but now the second staht is worse than the first?
Bill:
And then there's the offense which has gone all Iraqi WMD on us. I mean I'm told it's there but I don't see any evidence.
Mike:
Of course if you grab any random 6 game stretch from any season and you're going to get your 2 for 5 runs where the pitching is off and the hitting is off.
Susan/Circle:
So going into season 3 of the Daisuke era this is what I want to know …
Susan/Circle:
Is Matsuzaka the Pete Carroll of MLB pitching? I mean just like how Pete Carroll is on another plane when it come to college coaching greatness, Dice-K is unequaled in the Japanese league and the watered-down WBC …
Mike:
Yestahday I heard
someone say
that "the best thing about Tuesday's game is that it replicated the game we all played in our head every day of the off-season …"
Doug:
Christ, Kazmir vs Lestah? C'mon, I was like pre housing bubble collapse flippah with a no money down 110% to value A.R.M. waiting to collect on the "sure thing."
Bill:
About that … If Buchholz has confidence issues, isn't sending him down aftah proving himself this spring kind of a kick in the old confidence balls?
Doug:
Maybe. Or is it just what he needs?
Bill:
It's times like these when I'm glad I'm just a simple fan who doesn't have to make those decisions.
Doug:
I'm a simple
unfrozen caveman
fan. Your complex psychological decisions frighten and confuse me.
