« February 2009 |
Main
| April 2009 »
Doug:
I think this is the year Matsuzaka wins the Cy.
Al:
You always think this is his year, but still we wait for that $50 million payback.
Mike:
Aren't you worried about his pitch counts.
Doug:
There is only one answer to that, and it requires the haiku …
Doug:
Christ I had a dream last night where the sky was red, the trees were blue, and Spring Training nevah ended.
Mike:
Can you believe there are still 7 more days before this bitch gets stahted?
Mike:
Spring Training — it's all Sham with no Wow.
Rider on Green Line:
And how is the ShamWow at, say, absorbing blood?
Mike:
Ah, nothing quite like the
New Romanticism
movement in music. I've nevah really understood it, frankly.
Al:
Well, during the early 80s we were in a recession actually worse than the current one in many ways …
Mike:
If so, the future is bleaker than I thought.
Doug:
I think Al has already stahted on the peen revealing paht — I ran into him at Shaw's a few weekends ago and he was in a pair of sweats. Yowzah I'll probably nevah be able to eat sausage again.
Al:
Heh. Sometimes you've got to take the bull out of the corral and let him free range a bit.
Doug:
And if you scah a few kids for life, no biggie, huh?
Doug:
No kidding. Fixing the head is always hahdah than fixing the mechanics.
Doug:
How is that society always labels the jocks as dumb when the truly dumbest of the dumb asses are your singahs and pop stahs?
Al:
Imagine if Manny and and someone like Rihanna or Brit Brit hooked up and reproduced?
Mike:
"Hello, Mr. Darwin? Yeah, we need a new filtah the gene pool."
Doug:
Poor Sayid on Lost …
Doug:
Whenevah he stahts to get his cootchie groove on his bitch gets shot or he shoots the bitch or bitch gets disappeared or bitch arrests him.
Bill:
Seriously. I haven't seen that much trouble staying in the zone since, er, help me out here …
Doug:
Ah, since the 21st Century New York Yankees?
Bill:
Heh-heh. That nevah gets old does it?
Doug:
No, why should it. Yankees = fail.
Doug:
Oh, I'm all a quivah.
Doug:
Dude, doesn't someone have to leave to be, you know, welcome backed? Kottaras has been with the Sox since '06 in the Wells trade to the Padres.
Doug:
I get it, Barbarino, but it still doesn't work. Sounds like something the
CHB
would say.
Doug:
Yeah, yet anothah example of how vacuous the CHB is. I mean if you really don't like Schilling, stick with it. Don't puss out just because dude retiahs.
Curt Schilling began his Red Sox career in 2004, the same year The Soxaholix appeared on the web, and during that time Schilling has been a catalyst for much of conversation around here. Featured below are some random bits that are focused on number 38 and which are meant to stand in tribute to one of the greatest players to ever represent the Boston Red Sox. Thank you, Curt Schilling.
Susan/Circle:
When the miraculously and obviously
on
Curt Schilling played the chin music to A-Rod in the 1st, I got pregnant, immaculately.
Bill:
What fertile woman of Red Sox Nation wouldn't desire such conception? The dominant genes of
the Hero
must be spread. An army of Schillings progeny for our future dominance!
[
Oct 20, 2004
]
Tara:
Are you kidding me? It's gotten so bad even Schilling's personal Savior can't save him, not for all the pre-pitch cross kissing in the world.
[
Aug 30, 2005
]
Bill:
So when Schilling says that Randy Johnson is quote "special," does he mean, you know,
special? You know short bus special.
[
Jan 13, 2005
]
Doug:
Curt Schilling, is fun in the sense that Ghenghis Khan was fun.
[
Feb 28, 2006
]
Doug:
And then there's Curtis Montague Schilling like Moses himself leading the fucking people to the promised land (again). Dude was not only in his best form since the saga of the blood sock on Opening Day, but there he is Wednesday night at the top of the dugout steps cheering on Beckett and Papelbon like it's mid Octobah in New York and not early April in Arlington.
[April 07, 2006]
Doug:
Same thing happens every year — I wait and wait and wait for Spring Training to staht and then forget this interminable period before the season actually begins.
Bill:
I know. It's like back in college when we used to drive to Florida during spring break… We be all giddy crossing the state line and approaching Jacksonville, then the reality would set in that we still had 5 hour drive to Fort Lauderdale ahead of us.
Doug:
Two more weeks until Opening Day. Ugh.
Doug:
Seriously, as pissed as it makes me, I can only imagine how white-knuckled Francona and Farrell
must be.
Bill:
But, hell, you know, even though it may mean that Matsuzaka's ahmn falls off by the All Stah Break, at least Dice-K is bringing
great honor to the homeland
and all. You know, priorities and shit.
Doug:
On that note, let's go to the haiku, shall we?
Doug:
Over Mount Fuji,
The victorious red sun —
Rotator cuff wrecked
Al:
I know both Pedroia and
Youks are adamant
in their disavowals of the WBC playing any role in their injuries but …
Doug:
Yeah, it *could* have happened "anywhere" but the truth is it *did* happen at the WBC.
Doug:
It's time for Selig to end his little international fête.
Al:
It's time for Selig to move on in general. What is he appointed for life or something?
Mike:
Seriously, its a mattah of national interest.
Al:
Speaking of the disabled, formah DL listah Brad Penny is all of a sudden hitting 95 on the gun.
Mike:
Yeah, Theo called Penny's latest outing "impressive."
Al:
Looks like Theo's plan to sign guys coming off injury is falling into place.
Doug:
Yeah, well, let's wait until Penny faces Majah League hittahs before we staht pissing our pants with expectation.
Your omniscient author in absentia:
Sorry to give you Lisa and then a "no strip" back to back, but I totally forgot today is another one of those off-site corporate pep rally deals.
Not only does that alter my usual routine, but I overslept as well.
Until tomorrow then …
Soxaholix Community
Content created by and for Soxaholix readers:
