Suleman to Shakespeare in nothing flat

Doug:
OK, so I'll confess that evah since I heard about Vivid offering the Octo-Mom a porn contract, I've been obsessed with the various plot possibilities …

 

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Mike:
The OctoBitch in a porn? Jeez, guy, that is whacked thinking even for you.

 

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Doug:
I mean think about it — doorbell rings and it's … The artificial insemination doc.

 

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Doug:
Or there's a knock on the door and it's the dude from the diapah service. No, wait, 8 kids, let's make that 3 strapping dudes from the diaphah service.

 

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Doug:
Or how 'bout this — Sound of door chime. Cut to an Australian on the doorstep with a goat … and a bottle of Sriracha.

 

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Al:
Dude! I like it.

 

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Doug:
It's like this — An artist has to aim higher than morality, exist beyond parochial conventions of right and wrong, sacred and profane.

 

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Doug:
You know aht for aht's sake and all that.

 

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Mike:
Speaking of aht, there *was* a grapefruit game last night.

 

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Mike:
And the Bard, well, he "was as constant as the norther star."

 

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Al:
Ah, but remembah, "All that glisters is not gold."

 

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Al:
That is, was Bard's success with no passed balls only because Timmah didn't have his funky knuckle stuff, you know, "Such stuff as dreams are made of"?

 

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Mike:
Screw your courage to the sticking place. It's only Game One of GFL.

 

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Doug:
Seriously, to over think spring training, well, "That way madness lies."

 

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Comments

[Bob]

It's a misperception that the doorbell has to ring.

I made my money on "meeting her while she has groceries in her hands outside the front door."

I actually hope OctoMom gets into porn. I mean, after having 14 kids, she'd "fit" right in.

Veal! Veal!

[COD]

Maybe somebody will offer Octo-Mom even more money...to not do a porno.

[Harwich Rich]

"
glisters"?

[Harwich Rich]

Like a butter knife in a mayonaise jar :))

[Bob]

EMPTY mayonnaise jar, Harwich. That's key.

"Clinkity-clakity."

[louclinton]

great, another day of cavernous vagina references

[Natalie]

Still resisting the mayonaise jar analogy, as the chick has not had a single natural birth to stretch anything out... and it doesn't sound as though a ton of men are flocking to the crazy. :) That said, I am grossing myself out to think of fetishism of her loose skin rolls. Silkwood shower time.


Can I just say how frickin' jealous I am of everyone in Boston right now. All my friends' Facebook updates were about watching the first Grapefruit League game and it made me pine so much. This season is going to be hard, man.

[Bob]

LC just made me spit-up coffee.

Okay, if we're goin to talk about cavernous vaginas, what's your take on A-Fraud's performance yesterday?

Hit a homer, left with his "cousin."

[Kaz]

Thank god baseball is back, now we can get down to discussing more important things here...WHHAAAAAT???

I have to say that I missed Remy but a few of the stand-ins were pretty good. I liked Daubach in the booth. Him joking with Youk about the beard was funny and he also pointed out that he had scored all of the runs in the Nomo No-No and I hadn't ever realized that (which was exactly his point). Now he's managing Duquette's Nashua team in the Can-Am league.

Also, the Dodgers coming back with an offer to Manny...and still giving Boras some of his demands?? Damnit. It only takes one weak-willed team to make that guy think he's still doing something right.

[Bob]

To be honest though, Kaz, the Sox often "bid against themselves" for players. Which is exactly what the not-so-artful Dodgers are currently doing.

For God's sake, the Dodgers have him over a barrel.

(Cue porn music, cut to neighborhood boy assisting woman with her groceries.)

[Rob in CT]

Props to SDU for passing along references that make to the Big Game.

I've got this vision in my head of our favorite barrister standing on Octopussy's doorstep in cargo shorts and stable boots, goat leash in one hand, didgeridoo in the other. Bush hat tilted jauntily to one side, he sidles up closer to the Mother of the Year offering to "put another shimp in the barbie".

[SAC]

O! it is excellent
To have a giant's vagina, but it is tyrannous
To use it like a giant.

HB...just use this as your next strip generator.

[Bob]

Off to a funeral. Have fun while I cry and tell over-long stories about Irish Thanksgivings and haunted houses in Belmont.

[Rob in CT]

Apologies, people. The "bush hat" reference really should have been to a "slouch" or Digger" hat.

http://www.diggerhistory.info/pages-uniforms/slouch_hat_+.htm

[Harwich Rich]

I liked the "shimp in the barbie" ;D

[Rob in CT]

SAC - Great site! I re-randomized your catchword and came up with "It is the east, and Juliet is the vagina."

Now I'm wiping Arabica off my keyboard.

[ParkerStPete]

Didn't they already make Octopussy? Or would this be the first Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmilf film?

[yazbread]

I would call the movie 'Eight Babies Out'.

[Kaz]

She has enough kids to field a baseball team. I'd call it "A League of Her Poon".

[Harwich Rich]

"The(Un)Natural"

[Rob in CT]

"Field of Prem(ie)s"?

[sonomasox]

"Bush Durham" - she'll go 70's style.

[granular_serene]

And gentlemen in New England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That went to Fenway with us upon Opening Day.

[soxdownunder]

Goat on the doorstep
Octo-mom and Sriracha
Knife in empty jar.

[Rob in CT]

Courtesy of the Shakespeare Quote Generator:

"Blow, blow, thou winter wind.
Thou art not so unkind
As a man's Soxaholix."

As You Like It, II.vii

[Kaz]

COD @ 9:22 AM for the win!! It's not more money, but it is a NO PORN offer!

Porn company Pink Visual is offering Octomom diapers for a year for all of her kids if she WON'T shoot a porno! HA! Unfortunately, this means that she scores either way...and the last thing she should be doing right now is scoring.

[Harwich Rich]

Truly "A tale told by an idiot"

[pablo in nh]

Maybe it's an old joke, but does anyone know if Octomommy has been charged with littering?

[h.b.]

*** NO STRIP TODAY -- Fri, 2/27 ***

The Brits have left but my mind is mush. On top of that, my internet connection crapped out overnight, so I was on the phone getting it solved during my normal strip research time earlier this morning.

But it's Friday. And they are playing baseball in Florida. No complaints.

[Bob]

A Guinness, put down

A friend, put down far lower

Bob Murphy, his name.

[yazbread]

Tom and Gisele. Who do you think first broached the subject of a pre-nup?

[Rob in CT]

Look at the bright side, h.b. At least you don't have to drink warm beer anymore. Life if good (unless your fridge is busted like your internet connection...)

[Bob]

Giselle makes way more than Tom, yazbread.

[Kaz]

HOLY CRAP! Boras tried to counter-offer the Dodgers AGAIN!! Dude! LA should tell him to screw himself and put in their AAA left fielder!

Finally, I just barely see a light bulb starting to turn on over McCourt's head:

"Even with an economy that has substantially eroded since last November, out of respect for Manny and his talents, we actually improved our offer," McCourt said. "So now, we start from scratch."

[Jeff in NC]

from what i am reading, the offer manny just turned down actually had some real problems. The $45M was deferred such that he would receive $10M, then $10M, then $10, $10, &$5M over the following 3 years with no interest accruing. So the offer was actually for less than $45M

Now, that being said, I'd really like to see the offers dwindle to even less. Manny is like the Octomommy - I hate seeing bad people get good rewards.

The rather ironic part of it all is that Manny is essentially being offered now what he was "so insulted" by with the Redsox - two $20M seasons. what a punk.

[soxdownunder]

RIP Bob Murphy.

[steve2]

Good luck to the North Eastern folks dealing with the latest deluge of the white stuff.

For what it is worth I am officially done with Manny and his selfish greed.