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And I live by the river

Your omniscient author in absentia:
As I mentioned in the comments a couple weeks back, my day job underwent a reorg and now the London office runs the whole operation.

Consequently, my new Master and Commander will be here in the U.S. most of the week for an inspection. This means I need to come in extra early to get the H.M.S. Bounty swabbed and rigged for sailing into uncharted waters and that will cut into my normal strip writing time.


Your omniscient author in absentia:
So I'll see you back here on Friday, perhaps sooner.

And, oh right,

God Save the Queen
(She ain't a human being).



Godspeed, Laddie!

Good luck, hb. My one tip on understanding/dealing with the Brits: they never say "How are you?" or "how are you doing?" or "what's up?" They say, "you alright?" or "You okay?" Honestly, it's SO disconcerting! I have lived here now for 6 months and I get asked that every day, and every time I think: "why, what's wrong with me? What did you hear?" :) So, don't let that throw you!

Let us know if you find out who stole the strawberries,hb ;D

Great Clash reference btw

Appropriately, today's A.Word.A.Day is "contumacious."

adjective: Stubborn, insubordinate.

God, I hope you didn't get bought by the Poisoned Dwarf, Martin Sorrell. He's advertising's version of the Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

shoot, I was using my high school Spanish skills to break down contumacious and came up with a definition of "with your mother".... guess I shoulda studied harder.

good luck, hb. stiff upper lip and all that

Pip, pip and cheerio, eh what, h.b.

Just don't do what I did on a trip there a couple years ago and get into an argument with the barkeep about which is better, American Football or English "footie".

Mistake. Big mistake.

So flying managers from across the pond to the states is part of your employer's cost cutting plan? Seems like a couple of conference calls would have been a little cheaper...

I was standing on the new footbridge over the Thames last week when a guy and his gal asked me to take their photo. Ah newlyweds, I thought, but then I noticed his Yankees hat. Took the picture anyway, and asked if he would take one of my husband and me, even if we were Red Sox fans. For the record I was across the Pond for a week and saw two Yankees hats and one Boston.

If you want to pass yourself off as a Brit during inspection, stop washing your hair and rub chocolate on your teeth.

a nice bowl of limes on your desk should endear you to the new cap'n.

ask the boss why its always so wet in london and see if he has the right answer.

HB, Old Chap -- You can talk about sticky wickets and overs with the new boss! Manny should be loving cricket -- there is only one other base to stroll to!

Bloody 'ell.

Nice Clash and Sex Pistols references HB. I've been working for a British company for 16 years and it's been okay. We were recently purchased by a Canadian conglomerate and the cost-cutting commenced. If you can manage to get transferred to the London office you can probably have 7 or 8 hours a day to work on the strip. The people in the home office like to take it easy and fob all the work off on the Colonies. That's my experience anyway. Good luck.

Use this as a time for the new boss to bring in some Berocca. Better yet, if you have any leave some strewn about your desk.

Anyway, so I'm up in the country doing http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,27574,25093479-5006009,00.html "> this case and I had dinner with the local Maginstrate/Coroner who tells me that in this tiny country town back in the 20th century a jury was sworn to determine a case of bestiality involving a goat. The lawyers, the Judge and the court staff were all from Sydney (a big city several hundred long miles away) and the jury were all local. The Crown Prosecutor (District Attorney) commenced to open the case, describing what he anticipated the evidence would establish - on such and such a date the defendant entered the barn where the goat was housed, turned the goat around so that he was facing away from the 'perpetratror, and took down his trousers. The goat suddenly turned and licked the defendant's penis. The Prosecutor paused for dramatic effect and the foreman of the jury turned to the man next to him and said: 'a good goat will do that'.

I thought of Bob. Try the veal.

there's no future man

I'm hanging in, so far so good. The Bounty, she's a good ship.

Wow, good case, SDU.

BTW, in case other Soxaholix don't know, SDU is like the Johnnie Cochran of Australia. (Incidentally, he went to Loyola Marymount, too. Cochran, not SDU.)

SDU, am I the goat or the defendant? Little freaked out here.

Bligh: [Bligh is nervously waiting for Christian to get him so he won't have to sleep with one of King Tynah's wives] Enter.
Christian: Uh, excuse me, sir.
Bligh: Mr. Christian.
Christian: Sir.
Bligh: What demands my immediate attention?
Christian: Well it could wait until tomorrow, sir.
Bligh: [quietly] What is it, damn you?
Christian: The ship is sinking, sir.
Bligh: Good.

A good barrister will do that :D

Interestingly, SDU, I have my own "beastiality with a goat" story. Wait...that doesn't sound like what I meant.

So, there was this story online about a guy who owned a goat in his backyard pen in a Texas neighborhood. This guy's neighbor was evidently sneaking over into the pen and having sex with the goat when he thought his neighbor was away from the house. Well, evidently, the neighbor snuck over once and the goat began bleating and the goat owner's daughter evidently didn't go out with the family that day and looked out to see the ruckus. The cops' account of sorting out the nonsense between the two neighbors was pretty funny.

But the kicker is that I was able to figure out on Google's satellite images which house on the street in the news story had a goat pen (it was pretty obvious). What I discovered next was mind-boggling. There was a "social trail" (a rutted out section of grass turned to dirt) in the backyard lawn of the neighbor that ran directly from his back door to the fence right next to the goat pen! You have to do some serious foot traffic in your backyard to wipe out the lawn like that!!

Elementary,my dear Kaz :)

At least a goat is a living creature... When I was first assiged to Germany in the early 80's (during the first years of VOLAR - the all volunteer Army) - there was no housing immediately available so I was staying in a hotel with another officer who happened to be the new JAG prosecutor for the base I was assigned to. His first case, involing two troops from my new unit, was, I kid you not, sodomy with a jeep. Apparently the jeep's tailpipe was an irisistable temptation to these two clowns.

Alimentary, my dear Harwich :-)

SDU clearly has gotten our collective goat with that (very funny) story.

Steve in MD - That wouldn't have been Eugene the Jeep, would it?


Rob,this reminds me of the Case of the swollen sock

I don't remember reading THAT Encyclopedia Brown book when I was young, Harwich Rich!

Gene Wilder drinking a bottle of Woolite? No wait, that was a sheep.

Rob, I guess it was one of Eugene's namesakes. I've always wondered about Popeye...

You people are all just too funny today. I've been chuckling all morning lurking around this creepy site. :-)

One of my friends goes to the same crappy motel in Daytona Beach every year for one teason:

The swimming pool's jets don't expel, they "inhale."

Teason: why Benedict Arnold did what he did.


Oh, Bob. Stop teason us with those stories.

First one to figure out the last time we discussed baseball gets to spend an afternoon with the goat.

First one to figure out the last time we discussed baseball gets to spend an afternoon with the goat.

What? And risk a Cubs-like curse?

How many stitches does a MLB baseball have?


Now it's on to Chicago and let's win a goat-f--k there.


Does that mean I'm batting top of the order? I sure as hell don't want "clean up".

Rob, you get first dibs on which goat hole you want. From there, BigBri does clean-up.

BTW, a goat has a very wide, tight ear hole. Or so I've heard.

Veal, folks, Try the veal.

Wait, the movie Bull Durham taught me that baseballs have 108 stitches (same as a rosary)? Is my world view to be shattered that Annie Savoy was *gasp* wrong?

You're actually both right.

108 DOUBLE stitches (or, 216 single stitches).

Semantics. Much like the difference between goat sex, and sex with Madonna.

Is it really only Tuesday?

Thanks, Bob, for clearing that up. But I resist your analogy, because personally I think sex with a goat is MUCH preferable to Madonna. Did you see those pics of her with hair on her face? I think she and A-Roid are sharing needles... :)

MAAAAAD Mortigan

Okay, Natalie. Bob was right on the one count (double v. single stiches). As to Madonna or the goat, I'm with you. Baaaaaa!

Harwich - AWESOME Willow reference. You are en fuego, Man!

Quelques affiches de mes soirées?

World Baseball Classic anyone? I hear the USA bullpen is amazing, so that should help.

Lousy day yesterday, but managed to spit out a new strip today. Mentioning it here in case you missed it.

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