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God of Walks Wears Sox

Mike:
Holy Bearded Prophet it's still cold out there.

 

Susan/Circle:
Coldah than a warlock's nut.

 

Susan/Circle:
But I find it helps me to stay warm if I intermittently vocalize

"Yoooooooouuuuukks."

 

Mike:
What a fantastic deal for the Sox.

 

Susan/Circle:
It's looking more and more like not getting Teixeira combined with a crappy economy is working to our advantage.

 

Mike:
Seriously. Youks is only 13 months older than Teixeira and they both put up nearly identical numbahs last year, yet we get Youks for 4/40 while the Yankees went 8/180 for Teixeira. A-Ma-Zing.

 

Susan/Circle:
The 2008 MVP and the 2008 MVP runnah-up both locked up and wearing red stockings for the next 4 years.

 

Mike:
That "we'll nevah outspend the Yankees so we'll have to outsmaht them" thing continues to work out pretty well for us.

 

Susan/Circle:
Bob Ryan nails it. "Memo to Yankee fans:If your team wins it all, people on the outside will shrug and say, "So what?" And if they don't win, people everywhere in the baseball universe will laugh their you-know-whats off. But do enjoy your season."

 

Mike:
I hope Hanky Stein is planning a "ShamWow Fan Giveaway Night" at the new Yankee Stadium because they're going to need something that absorbs 20 times its own weight to wipe up all those Yankees fan tears come Octobah.

 

Comments

Jeez, is H.B. on fire lately or what?


BTW, speaking of warlocks, I miss Uncle Arthur. "Sammmmy..."

I think my eyes are failing me :(

good, now maybe youk can shave off that shamwow

...while Alex works on his slap-chop

Love the Youk signing, loving the shamwow references even more. And yes they work awesomely, I got some in a "crappy gift" exchange this past Christmas.

Billy Mays Vs ShamWow Guy. Who wins in a fight to the death?

I think Billy Mays freaky beard would defeat Fitz/Vince's creepy eyebrows in a cage match.

OK, here's my match up.


Vince from ShamWow armed with a ShamWow and his version of the SlapChop


vs.


A-Rod armed with the dreaded "dropping the shoulder move" and his own version of the SlapChop.

Fitz/Vince in a TKO.


The ShamWow would wipe off A-Fraud's purple lipstick, rendering him powerless.


Then, the Slap Chop would finish the job by chiffinading his Hamburger Helper oven mitt.

Do you think A-Rod learned the SlapChop from Madonna?

No, he learned it from Pee-Wee Herman.

Is the ShamWow named Ditka?

Yes, OK, but what does the the badger that lives on KY jelly's chin get paid?

When you said "Bob Ryan nails it," I thought you were talking about him smacking his wife.

I love Ryan's bullshit, irrelevant conditional: If the Yankees (or the Red Sox, or any team) win it all, the only thing that matters is that they won.

It's like saying: "Well, sure, Vanderbilt beat Boston College, but they were terrible on 3rd down conversions."

You people know this.

re Ryan's line, it's about public perception.


1) If the Yankees win, everyone will be like "Duh. Of course, they spent all that money. Anyone can do that."


2) If the Yankees don't win, everyone will be like "OMFG can you believe those losers? They spent all that cash and couldn't win? Man, they suck."


It's an enjoyable catch-22 from my vantage point.

Public perception is irrelevant, even in Germany, where they make "good stuff." Winning it all is relevant.

Epstein wears a snuggie.

h.b., just an awesome display this week and another ruined keyboard due to ejected coffee.
Bob, chiffonading... mad skills. Did you intend the double entendre? Chiffon = rag in French.

"Public perception is irrelevant...Winning it all is relevant."


Really? I bet the Israeli's would beg to differ.

Actually, I give the IDF credit...if they're going to store rockets, weapons, and even fight from inside a school, then the school will need rebuilding.

It's how you win.

By the way, you're going to want to read this:

http://reason.com/news/show/131073.html

Yes, Youk and Pedroia are great home grown products. But the idea that most of the Nation will say "We don't care, the Yankees bought the pennant" denies the last 100 years of Yankee - Red Sox rivalry. The Globe has more complete coverage of Yankee signings and trades than the home town Times, because the Nation does care.

Can you guys start using an acronym for daily coffee comment? Perhaps LMAOOTNYOMANKHB (laughing my ass off out the nose you owe me a new keyboard h.b.)

Poignant last post from Yankees blogger Todd Drew: http://www.bronxbanterblog.com/2008/12/22/shadow-games-baseball-and-me/

I agree that RSN does care and follows the Yankees etc., but I took Ryan's comments to mean fans of MLB in general and the chattering heads of the MSM who still have a lot of power in setting the tone for how a victory is perceived by the public.


"Can you guys start using an acronym for daily coffee comment?"

Here's my proposed acronym:

LSHICTMP

"laughing so hard I could taste my pancreas."

luv ya jasono, but keep your life lessons to yourself. you're starting to sound like the double consonant that shall not be named.

don't get me started.

lc

Sad about Todd Drew.


WYLSCWYH.


Would you like some coffee with your headcheese?


Have we had an A-Rod sighting since he took off to Mexico for his Madonna rendezvous? I am thinking the poor guy might be locked up in a box. Hope he gets out in time for spring training.

See,this is where the slapchop comes in handy

sweet jesus - opening day is a ways off but it feels like septembah in heah. love it.


some nude photo of Madonna is up of auction - think purple lips will be bidding.


btw - another 70 degree day out here. sorry, sort of.

A brisk -9 degrees here. But temperatures are predicted to be a balmy 33 degrees next week. Spring is right around the corner.

His'n'her purple lips? OK,that was just wrong (feel free to delete,hb)

Yeah, at lunch I realized that I was a bit troll-ish, but like Madoff I try to consistently deliver.

hb, seriously, have you been writing Get Fuzzy this week? It's reminding me of Callihan's conversations with Marty.

http://comics.com/get_fuzzy/2009-01-12/

(this is Monday's, scroll through for the whole week.)

what'd you have for lunch?
epiphany and cheese?

on rye toast, yeah.

hb, seriously, have you been writing Get Fuzzy this week?

I am not a Get Fuzzy fan but I will admit that those strips are very funny. However, a discerning eye might see that they are not quite up to the level of HB's work. So I would back off attributing the work to HB.

Now to bring this all back to Bob Ryan's piece - it's stuff like these Get Fuzzy strips that are going to make it all the more enjoyable if the MFYs fail in the post-season.

I agree yaz, it's a little pedestrian for hb. but last week they were writing haiku, and this week it was all sox. Can't help but think that the Get Fuzzy author is a soxaholix regular reader.
Best haiku of last week:
One, two, three, four, five
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, e-
leven, twelve, thirteen.

Flintstones whistle sounds
It's time for me to drink beer
Hopefully we'll have


Something fun to yak about on Monday.

Just catching up on a week of stips, comments and 'Sox news. Jim let in; Smoltz signed; Youk got at bargain basement price; hart on fire; Nat excaping England; Jason O surly but adorable; 70 degrees in Ca. etc etc etc. Looks like I should go away more often.

Tek had a one on one meeting with Henry yesterday - no Theo or Bora$$. Henry says they did not discuss a contract extension. So what did they dicuss? My guess: Tek asked Henry if Bora$$ was the problem... And Henry probably said YES! Perhaps Tek is about to follow Slappy's example and negotiatie his own contract.

Hey all, haven't been around much the past few days to comment because I've had my jaw kicked in by an infected wisdom tooth and just couldn't bring myself to sit at a keyboard long enough to comment. Have still been reading the strips though. So let me summarize my comments for the last few days worth of comedy from h.b. and news from the Sox:


Awesome.

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