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The Yankees' Cathexis

Al:
So if we have to face the fact that the Yankees signed "Monstah Ace" Sabathia, at least we can chuckle ovah how they bid against themselves to sign him.

 

Doug:
Honestly, though, when I think of CC Sabathia, the image that pops into my head is not a seven-year, $161 million "monstah ace" …

 

Doug:
No, the vision that I have is of the guy sitting on the bench with a towel on his head starting out at the field with empty, hallow eyes and totally shellshocked from the Red Sox offensive barrage in the 2007 playoffs.

 

Al:
Seriously, that is one of my top 10 best Red Sox memories evah!

 

Mike:
Nothing bettah than bitch slapping a supposed ace.

 

Al:
Eithah way, though, the Yankees are fah from done as fah as the wallet goes.

 

Mike:
Of course not. I mean they have no choice do they?

 

Mike:
They've gone 0-fer-the-Century in world champ pennants, their coup of signing A-Rod has been a disastah, their coup of signing Damon hasn't done squat, they're still demoralized from being whoop-assed by the Red Sox, last year they didn't even make the playoffs, and, oh yeah, they're moving into a new stadium and have priced out a lot of long time fans.

 

Mike:
They've gotta spend and spend hahd.

 

Doug:
Absolutely. The Yankees are gonna be going through cash like a sexually unsatisfied businessman with a loosely audited expanse account on an out of town business trip at a Texas titty bah.

 

Mike:
Worse. The dude has breast abandonment issues creating what Freud called an "original narcissistic libidinal cathexis."

 

Doug:
And one of the strippahs is lactating.

 

Al:
Ah, yes, doin' the St. Bernard!

 

Mike:
Funny thing is at the end of the season the Yankees will feel pretty much like that dude the next morning — full of regret, hungovah, blue balled …

 

Doug:
And smelling of sour milk.

 

Comments

What do you guys think of the new uniforms? Brazen attempt to sell more merchandise to "Red Sox Nation"? Yes.

Excellent strip, H.B. The Skanks are going to spend like never before. Don't be surprise if they get Mark Tex, too.


BTW, I've been at that Texas titty bar.

I thought I smelled sour milk :)

sriracha and sour milk, mmmmm....


"Doin' the St. Bernard".... gotta say I was a little scared to click on that link, hb

Me, too, Bob. Me, too.

I wouldn't be surprised if Yankees sign Tex, Manny, Petitte, Lowe, Burnett, and get Obama's open Senate seat.

...and still don't make the playoffs :)

I was just relieved it wasn't to urban dictionary!

Bob - I think we all have been to that titty bar.

$161M to replace Moose's 20 wins. Hopefully the ghost of Carl Pavano visits the Yankees this Christmas.

//Mary appeared and put her breast into his mouth in order to receive the wisdom of God.//

Amen!

Serious point: (Sorry)

The Sox are getting Tex. NYY is only there to drive up the price.


The question is: Does NYY with CC and Burnett in the rotation improve more or less than the RS with Tex at first and "a badger died on my chin" Youkilis at 3rd vs. the already productive status quo of Lowell at 3rd and KY (jelly) at 1st?


Of course, this assumes that neither GM strikes like a thief in the night on Adam Dunn, which I think is the elephant in the room. 40 HR's/year from 2004-2008 and a .380 on base with a K/BB ratio of almost 2/1...astonishing.

My humble prediction is that by 2010, CC will look like he swallowed a grain silo.

nostralc

Oddly enough
'The Yankees Cathexis'
anagrams to
'A sexy, hesitant cheek.'

I'm in an airport, what am I supposed to be doing?

Drinking, LC. You're supposed to be drinking.


Which I'm off to do right now, before heading over to The Garden for the Celtics game.


Have a great weekend all. Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday.

AJ Burnett $82.5M for five years. These chaps from the Bronx seem to be quite serious.


While we all envision CC with his crying towel, by the same token, IIRC, AJ usually pitches well against the Sox.

However that said, it's time for a little math. AJ Burnett=Carl Pavano. Not an unreasonable equation. He is the more likely bust, having gotten frequent flier miles for his trips to the DL. 9 of them since 2000.

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