To Your Scattered Hitters Go

Doug:
Ah, you know, lots of hitting the ball hahd but right at people …

 

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Mike:
And lots of hurtage from numerous double-plays.

 

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Al:
The offense will come around, but it sucks knowing that if the bats at just regressed to the mean, we'd probably be talking sweep this morning.

 

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Doug:
4 runs in 45 innings? Ouch.

 

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Mike:
Seriously. When you have fewer hits than Rogah Clemens has extra-marital affairs, then there's a problem.

 

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Doug:
Reminds me, when the news broke that Barbara Walters had a past affair with a married man, my first thought was tell me it's Roger Clemens you ol' cougah whore.

 

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Al:
No way. Clemens likes 'em young and dumb.

 

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Mike:
Speaking of dumb, you heard the latest from Canseco? He wants to be in a reality TV show, a reality TV show "involving martial arts."

 

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Doug:
Oh, and don't forget he's working on his 3rd book, a dahk sci-fi story about baseball and cloning.

 

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Mike:
Oooh, can't hahdly wait.

 

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Al:
So do you think in the sci-future MLB everyone will wear unisex jumpsuits?

 

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Comments

[Bob]

The "worst" pitching performance in days is a pretty damn good effort by TIMMY!

Pitching wins championships. And don't tell me this team is never going to hit again.

Going to the game tomorrow. Beckett on the mound. Scattered rain predicted. Constant eating and drinking guaranteed.

Oh, and was that BigBri in The Gwar outfit in the last link?

[RationalSoxFan]

HB,

The scoreless innings are even worse than that. If you go back one more game, it works out to 5 runs in the last 54 innings (in the last 9 innings of the extra innings game against the Rays they scored just one run).

I had fun on my site with the sleepy bats, and Snow White - you can see the theme there.

I'm going to the game tonight, and I'm 3-0 so far, and I'm bring my daughter who vows she is the Sox good luck charm, so I'm doing everything I can!

[jamesfrmmaine]

Says RationSoxFan: I'm going to the game tonight, and I'm 3-0 so far, and I'm bring my daughter who vows she is the Sox good luck charm, so I'm doing everything I can!

lol

[Bob]

Okay, time for a classic Reverse-Gooch:

There's no way the Sox can win tonight with RationalSoxFan and daughter there. No way at all. We're doomed.

[Colin]

Perhaps we need another Kevin Millar mojo video to get the offense back on track?

I know it looks rough but remember this one thing before the weekend starts:
The Yankees got swept by Detroit and it's only going more downhill from here. :D

[louclinton]

In re: Lost.

What?

[jamesfrmaine]

Okay, time for a classic Reverse-Gooch:

There's no way the Sox can win tonight with RationalSoxFan and daughter there. No way at all. We're doomed.

Thats just not rational Bob. Not rational at all.

[Bob]

180 degrees from rational here, james.

[chris]

//Thats just not rational Bob. Not rational at all.//

nice, james. very nice.

[Harwich Rich]

Is it Beer cart time yet?

[Bob]

T minus 330 minutes and counting.

[ParkerStPete]

In re: Lost. Stop trying to figure it out, and just admire Kate's fetching, low-cut nightie and hot, dripping, post-shower kiss.

[sonomasox]

powerless loss sucks but another record for Youk -

No errors in 1,701 chances - breaks the record for ALL defensive positions.

I can't do anything 1,700 times w/out screwing it up at least once...which reminds me why I'm at a desk and Youk is on the field.

The wine cart in 7 hours...can't...make...it

[jamesfrmmaine]

That is amazing. One of the things that I have loved about watching the sox the last 6-7 years is watching guys like Youk come into their own. Remember when he was coming off the bench and pinch walking for guys when we needed somebody on base. Not to mention that fact that he played most of his early majors experience at third, then was moved to first.

love me some youk.

[meredith]

My favorite Youk memory will always be my first: his first game in the bigs up in the Skydome, his first major-league hit is also his first home run. He gets back to the dugout and not one guy on that bench is paying one lick of attention to him ... so he runs down the line high-fiving the air. Finally when he gets to the end the whole team jumps up and mobs him. Great stuff. I knew he was "one of ours" at that moment, and I've loved watching him ever since.

[Jeffrey]

I have a new coworker who says she is 0-8 in the last two years. Guess what, she went last night...

I hope all are doing well. I got me a new job, and I'm still waiting for corporate to get me all set up with the laptop, so until then I just haven't been able to check in.

[Bob]

Hefeweizen UFO.

So fragrant, so cold, so delicious.

See you folks next week. If anyone else is going to the game tomorrow, I'll be downstairs at Copperfields beforehand.

[louclinton]

Bob, have a cold one or seventeen for me.

lc

[Kaz]

So much for the quiet bats and 1st place Rays.

I feel a little bad for them. First time they'd won this many over 0.500. I hope they recover from this weekend and race for the Wild Card behind us.