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Bill:
What an opportune time to break out of a slump, eh?
Doug:
I mean beating Hallady on any occassion is a cause célèbre, but besting him when he's pitching a complete game shutout in the bottom of the 9th is friggin' sublime.
Bill:
I tell ya, one month into the 2008 season and I'm pretty pleased with what we're seeing.
Doug:
Same here … Meanwhile, want to play some Jeopardy?
Bill:
Heh. Cue the effin music — DOO doo DOO doo DOO doo DOOooooooooo.
Bill:
Ah … Who are the New York Yankees?
Bill:
So any guess on when Hank will throw Cashman under the bus in an attempt to emulate dear ol' dad?
Doug:
Oh, I'm thinking right around the trading deadline when Cashman balks at one of Hanky's imbecilic "moves."
Bill:
Remembah the good ol' days when it was the Red Sox and not the global economy that ruined our summahs?
Mike:
Yeah, well, if it's a quid pro quo I'll take the pennants ovah the cheap gas any day.
Bill:
This coming from a guy who doesn't own a car, of course.
Mike:
Hey, who needs a cah when you live in the city?
Bill:
I'm sure our buddy Hugo Chavez is getting some serious morning wood ovah the prospect of $200 a barrel.
Mike:
Maybe while Hugo is in town, he and Hank can get together and commiserate about how it feels to be puny playahs living in the shadow of a vanquishing supahpowah?
Doug:
Seriously. If they continue playing like this all season, they are going to feel compelled to change their name to the Tampa Bay "Almighty Blessed Ball Busting Heavenly Rays."
Mike:
Meanwhile, the plague and pestilence damned Red Sox drop 5 straight and await anxiously await their first case of leprosy.
Al:
Jesus Christ let it be Timlin.
Mike:
The truth is, though, if all this were happening in, say, 2003, I'd be strapping on my hairshirt and flagellating myself about how these guys were going to ruin my summah.
Mike:
But now I'm like, meh, we'll get through this rough patch.
Al:
Ah, OK, but isn't losing 5 straight and suffahring the ignominy of being swept by Tampa Bay enough labah for now? Can we get back to winning again already?
Your omniscient author in absentia:
Travel day for me so no strip. (And it's a by car trip rather than a by air trip so even the graphic is out of whack.)
I'd planned on doing a strip despite the travel plans, but woke up to find my day job paycheck was significantly shorted. And even though I took a lot of time off from work to cover my wife's illness, between sick and vacation days, I had plenty to cover. So I've spent my morning sending emails and making phone calls to my HR dept.
I tell you, 2008 has been a real ball bustah for me so far.
Bill:
I woke up this morning feeling all ass draggy and couldn't figure out why …
Mike:
Considering the Sox have become an incubatah for pathogens, it's amazing how close they kept last night's game. I mean Lestah on 3 days rest? Jeez.
Mike:
Seriously. Even mouth kissing Italian soccer players don't rock the contagion as effectively as the Old Towne Team.
Mike:
Christ, Selig and MLB can be such friggin fascists can't they?
Bill:
Yeah, and a bunch of hypocrites, too. MLB is always mouthing off about the need for playahs to be role models to the kids and all.
Mike:
Yeah, "Hey, kids, remembah, steroids are bad. But loading up on unneeded electrolytes is good for you!"
Steve:
Seriously. I didn't catch up to the game last night until the Sox were already in a 5-1 hole to the Angels, but I thought, "4 runs? Pffft &8230; that's nothing for this club."
Mike:
And what about Ellsbury? 2 dingahs last night and leading the league in runs, if you overlook that he doesn't have enough playing time to technically count in the official stats.
Steve:
Absolutely. And now opposing teams not only have to worry about the run combustible Manny-Papi combo, but also the gasoline that is Ellsbury and Pedroi back to back in the lineup.
Your omniscient author in absentia:
My iMac starting acting all frigged up last night and into this morning. I think I solved it, but I used up all my create the day's strip time in doing so.
Generally, this would piss me off, but with the Red Sox winners of 5 straight including a sweep of Texas and winners of 9 of their last 10, I've got no complaints.
Hart Brachen, strip author:
So how does a knuckleballer go innings without issuing a walk?
Welcome back, Timmah!
Hart Brachen:
Have a wonderful Patriot's Day, everyone!
Mike:
In hindsight, of all the clevah moves Theo has made since becoming GM, that one may go down as the shrewdest.
Mike:
I mean since then, Manny has slowly but surely gone from great hittah but consummate bellyachah to great hittah and team playah and as much a paht of the Red Sox mythos as any playah evah.
Doug:
3 homahs in 6 days off Mussina, more moon shots off the Yankees than any othah club, and now just 5 away from 500 … Manny Being Manny? Fuck yeah.
Doug:
No shit. I've seen t-ball games with bettah pitching than that.
Mike:
So Tito says, " ̷o; we go to Tavarez and if he struggles, that's what happens because we don't have anywhere else to go. The other night, he didn't and we ended up pulling out a win."
Doug:
And there you have it — the entiah success of the '08 Red Sox is currently and completely in the hands of one Batshit Tavarez.
Al:
I don't feel so well.
Doug:
Hey, at least we didn't trade away the kids in ordah to get Santana.
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