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Skata-brained

Bill:
Well, it's finally friggin' ovah — Santana to the Mets and Jacoby Ellsbury stays in our mofo house!

 

Doug:
Christ, now I can breathe and let my Spring Training bonah of expectation stand tall.

 

Bill:
What a stupid deal though. Everyone waited months for that?

 

Doug:
Seriously, as Gleeman says, "The end result of a bad situation handled poorly is a mediocre package of players that has no one excited."

 

Bill:
And the to the fucking Mets? Poor Santana.

 

Doug:
I know. The Mets are like a floatah in your kamode that refuses to be flushed.

 

Doug:
You know, just hanging around the surface believing it's not really a turd at all and not realizing it's just some transient low density freak of nature that will in the end spiral down the maelstrom of oblivion in so many broken, waterlogged pieces.

 

Bill:
Ah, so that's why they call it Flushing Meadows. I always wondahed …

 

Comments

I haven't heard of any of those young Mets players going to the Twins. Maybe we should have offered 3 dozen Dunks and a used golf cart for Santana. That seemed to be about the asking price.

I love the imagery, but a small correction: the floatah would be low density. High density would sink.

Anyway, glad that drama is over, and that the skankees didn't get him.

I almost fell out of my chair laughing at this one!

All I know is that it will be beautiful to see the Navajo rounding the bases sliding into home...flushing meadows- that's a keepah.

Frank,

Thanks for the correction. I originally had low and then self-corrcted, wrongly it turns out. Shit for brains, I guess.

I'm changing it.

"I almost fell out of my chair laughing at this one!"

Agreed, but don't feed the beast, Mr. Pinto. Next hb will be equating colostomy bags to the Orioles bullpen. Let's see, I'm Peter Angelos, I have one decent pitcher, Erik Bedard. What should I do, what should I do? No problem, trade him for three polyps and a used colostomy bag. or some such.

Truck Day looms.

lc

LC, one of the perks of my glamorous advertising job is that I can get a free colon stapler. Maybe I should send one to Angelo for Bedard.


Lou, good call. One can only laugh at so many feces jokes and references before it makes you want to give up your breakfast. I am starting to feel queezy already from all the talk.

I, too, LOLed. :)

This is really the best possible scenario. The speculation is over, the Sox keep their prized young talent (for now :}), and not only does Santana NOT go to the Skanks, but he's out of the AL entirely. Color me pleased, batman.

Though my Twins-season-ticket-holder friend, who got married at the Metrodome on the day Santana pitched a classic one-hitter, is despondent today. Oh well.

//The Mets are like a floatah in your kamode that refuses to be flushed.//

That would be one hell of a T-Shirt slogan.

//That would be one hell of a T-Shirt slogan.//

Only BigBri could wear a shirt big enough to fit all that.

//Only BigBri could wear a shirt big enough to fit all that.//

Gone but not forgotten.

Well he DID beat Anorexia :)

But he still has Bri-olimia (binges, but doesn't purge).

shitty strip today h.b., shitty strip.

Okay, so now do we keep Coco or trade him? He's a better defensive replacement/backup than anyone out there, but not if he becomes a clubhouse cancer because he isn't starting.

The best text message I recieved yesterday: Santana to Mets. MFY's pitching still sucks. Truck day in 12...

If the Mets played in the AL, I'd agree. But they're in the NL, and Santana will be a monster for them.

And for the record, I'm glad the Sox stuck with the kids.

Santana can now go 23-2 with a 1.85 ERA and 280 K's in the NL, lead the Mets to the World Series, then get swept in 4 by the Sox, beautiful. Hank Steinbrenner, he's a real Rhodes Scholar if he thinks Hughes is going to put up Santana-esque numbers over the next year or three. The acorn sure didn't fall far from the tree with this tool, did it?

It must be tough to be a Twins fan. They have been losing talent for so many years. [Although the Red Sox raid of the Twins in the form of Bill Campbell pretty much turned out to be a bust as I remember]. Hard to believe that the Twins managed to win 2 WS - the talent must not have been able to jump ship.

Brachen, you're brilliant.

SO glad January is almost over. Pitchers and catchers in a few weeks, and the Super Bowl will finally be played in 4 days. I can hear the childish gigglings of Remy and Orsillo now.

It's been a long winter.

Oh...and the Bruins won again.

By the way, has anyone heard how Patrice Bergeron is progressing? Haven't heard much and I'm curious.

Thanks to everyone for the praise today.

This week, and today in particular, I feel like I'm getting back toward my mid-season form when the strips generally are easy to do and just sort of fall out of nowhere without too much thought.

The same cannot be said for this period we've just been through, when everything seems like a chore more days than not.

I know as a native New Englander I'm supposed to face the grim, ballbreaking winters with a heroic stoicism and a sense that "what doesn't kill you, make you stronger."

But the truth is winter just utterly clobbers me. I despise it.

Yes I do realize how going through it makes the spring and summer all the brighter etc., but still, the cold, the darkness, the claustrophobia it brings, just wears me down.

Anyway, as happens every year, this final week in Jan always seems to flip my switch back on as the days seem noticeably longer and Truck Day and Spring Training approaches.


'By the way, has anyone heard how Patrice Bergeron is progressing?'

He is "seeing a neurologist today" according to the globe.

I think bergy is mailing it in this season unless we are a playoff lock. I cant say I blame him, but still if he can comeback, hes got too. We have an outside playoff shot and dammit, we havent had a playoff game since BEFORE THE LOCKOUT. If he can play he needs to be getting ready to... not waiting to see if its worth it.

Last I heard he was out for the season

//But the truth is winter just utterly clobbers me. I despise it.

Yes I do realize how going through it makes the spring and summer all the brighter etc., but still, the cold, the darkness, the claustrophobia it brings, just wears me down.//

Exactly. I go through this slow, barely noticeable decline. Then I realize that I haven't been myself. I guess that's why people go South for the winter.

Sydney, Au. Balmy, 28 degrees C. Sunny.

But aren't you wearing a barrister's wig, SDU? That's gotta be uncomfortably warm. :))

Now I feel bad...just got a shit-load of Berocca in the mail from SDU.

I think you look GREAT in that wig, mister.

Bob, Don't feel bad - you are quite right - the wig sucks in the humidity. Dripping sweat by late in the day. What's worse, the Court sits on Superday 'Monday' so I'll miss live history. Bugger! Glad the Berocca arrived in time for the big game and its messy aftermath.

"live history" as opposed to...

jus bustin' yer ballz sdu

More importantly,

'just got a shit-load of Berocca'
anagrams to

Ejaculator. both good fascist.

SDU - lay off that Celsius crap (to be consistent with today's theme). It makes our brains ache. Remember we are in a backwater country. Still using Fahrenheit and of course the quaint English system of measurement (along with the other two holdouts Liberia and Myanmar).

I can't believe I haven't had a strip where one of the characters speaks to how much he/she loves the English system and despises the metric.

This would be one of those cases where the character would be voicing my own opinion.

Love the Fahrenheit. Love the mile. Love my angry one inch.

//If he can play he needs to be getting ready to... not waiting to see if its worth it//

For God's sake, I can't believe this.

Bergeron almost DIED. Do you have any idea at all in your pea brain how debilitating an injury like that is? Do you seriously think that if there was any way on earth Bergeron could play, he wouldn't? That he's going to wait to SEE IF IT'S WORTH IT?

My God, I can't believe anyone this clueless is walking the streets.


Very very funny strip, but I am puzzled by the title. Why a K in scata-brained (a very witty play on the scatalogical)? There is probably an obvious and/or amusing answer and when I receive it I am going to plead jet lag.

Count me among the throngs excited to see Ellsbury suit up for us everyday...

"This would be one of those cases where the character would be voicing my own opinion"

One of those cases, as compared to, the only case? I thought we weren't suppose to confuse you and the characters? Isn't that in the Soxaholix rulebook?

Gotta love the mile run. Who the hell ever thought up the 1500m race. Nonsensical at best. Must have been a Frenchman.

Natalie - Skata. The greek word for today's theme. I went to grade school with kids named Pappas, Spano, Kostolokis, and Valhakis. It was my introduction to the joys of a foreign language.

Skata - sounds like some weird fetish that the Japanese and Germans are into.

yazbread,

The real me isn't 100% out of the characters. Sometimes a character is speaking exactly for me. Sometimes it's a part of what I believe. Sometimes it's the exact opposite of what I think.

As it goes, it always seems to be the last case when I get pilloried in the comments with "how can you think that, h.b.?"

What? Not a word written today about Tina Cervasio leaving NESN when her contract expires at the end of March??? Back to Joisey, from whence you came. This is per today's Hartford Courant.

This time, NESN has to do better than a Jersy Girl. There has to be a pretty face in New England that knows enough about sports to offer a couple of tidbits per game from the stands.

h.b., I don't post often, but I read you every day. Great strip today, but even greater were your commments about the long hard winter. C'mon Truck Day and all that follows.

They run a 1500m race.

They run it on a quarter mile track.

Wrap your mind around that one...

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