Gravity's effect on falling rockets

Bill:
Somebody call Dr. Phil, we've got anothah celebrity crying for help.

 

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Doug:
Seriously, Clemens is now stooping to taping phone conversations and acting all batshit angry at his own pressahs?

 

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Bill:
I know what's next — is he going to shave his head and then take an umbrella and beat the hell out of McNamee's car with it?

 

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Doug:
Poor Clemens. At least Britney Spears had that Chris Crocker nutjob coming to her defense with his "Leave Britney Alone!" YouTube. But Rocket's got nothing.

 

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Bill:
Yeah, even his biggest fan Suzy Waldman has gone silent in his time of need.

 

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Doug:
What a sad day it is. And by "sad" I, of course, mean what a totally fantastic bit of karma that I'm enjoying immensely.

 

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Comments

[Harwich Rich]

Rogah= "Mistake and Horrah "

[louclinton]

Just don't show me that "oopsie" shot of Rogah's poohah. That would be rough.

lc

[Bob]

LC, after all the 'roids he's done, I suspect he'd look a lot like Britney down there.

[the stick]

My favorite press conference quote:
"... I put my butt on the line..."

[louclinton]

How about some anagram fun, we haven't played that tired game in a while:

roger clemens took steroids

anagrams to

Stormlike or good erectness.

god bless,

lc

[BB]

I pray you are never accused of a crime in this country H.B. If you are, however, I also pray you are treated far better than Mr. Clemens.
I don't know if he did or didn't take steroids. I do know he deserves to be able to defend himself.

I also know the desire of Red Sox Nation to jump to conclusions in this matter is based totally on the fact that they were embarrassed and embittered by his great performances after being run out of Boston. The Mitchel "report", in your minds justifies the fact that you turned your backs on Clemens. It does no such thing. The Mitchel "report" simply prints the words of a convicted felon who is desperately trying to stay out of jail. That you take those words as gospel says volumes about the true nature of Red Sox Nation.
Let the FACTS convict Clemens, not the words of Brian McNamee.

[Bob]

H.B. is not the characters, nimrod.

And Clemens WILL be able to defend himself, if his shrunken balls ever re-enlarge to the point that's he's willing to testify.

"Innocent until proven guilty" is only valid in a court of law.

The court of public opinion is another thing entirely.

[h.b]

As it goes, I was accused of a crime, BB -- I was accused of sodomizing your mother.

But I'm innocent, because I wouldn't touch your fucking whore of a mother with your dick, let alone mine.

[louclinton]

looks like hb can fight his own battles there, bb. Huh where have I seen reference to those intials before.

oh right,they were tatooed on the upper inner thigh of Larry Craig.

[da kine]

"I wouldn't touch [BB's] fucking whore of a mother with" Bea Arthur's dick. Thank you. Tip your waiters.

[mikeya2k1]

i posted this before and ill repost again... how will the nation feel when roger is elected to the hall of fame with a red sox hat on... he will be elected in time and his best years were with the sox. i saw the interview yesterday and was not convinced of his innocence and i will not be happy to see that hat on his head

[chucks]

I missed the part where Clemens was accused of a crime - that'll have to wait until he perjures himself before Congress. Oh, wait - he'll have to decline appearing, due to his pending litigation. How convenient.

[john banks]

"As it goes, I was accused of a crime, BB -- I was accused of sodomizing your mother.

But I'm innocent, because I wouldn't touch your fucking whore of a mother with your dick, let alone mine."

Those are pretty tough words for a guy who goes by the name of Heart--or rather hides behind it. Guy made a point you disagree with, and you resort to that? No class. I actually disagree with the guy, but wouldn't bend down that low--but I guess that's you. Come from behind the curtain..."Hart"

[NolaSox]

I couldn't find a transcript of the press conference, but loved the "Can I drink water, is that ok? (drinks) see I can swallow" (paraphrased) He must have learned how to do that in the Yankees clubhouse.

[h.b]

Ah, jeebuz, john banks, it was a joke.

And for the 1000th fucking time: this is a comic strip that is meant to engage in hyperbole and satire.

Look it up. And go fuck yourself.

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

mikeya2k1,

Hasn't Clemens said he won't wear a Sox hat in the HOF? Or am I thinking of someone else?

[john banks]

Maybe you're comfortable talking about someone's mother that way based on your personal experience. Talking about someone's mother crosses the line. But when you hide behind you "hart" it's easy to be brave. Cowardice is something you and roger have in common.

[h.b]

Talking about someone's mother crosses the line?

Wow. Have you never been trashed talked on the hoops court? Or the ice rink?

Christ, I've been hearing worse than that since I was 5 years old.

Meanwhile, of course, BB is a troll. I don't give a fuck about his mother or his goldfish or his fucking love partner.

[NolaSox]

fucking love partner = his own hand

[Bob]

JB, your mother's so fat, the last time I mounted her, my ears popped.

Jeez, mom jokes are a time-honored sports tradition.

[yazbread]

Not to change the tone of the conversation or anything, but Hall of Fame announcements at 2:00 today. Let's collectively channel our thoughts in a common direction.

[vasoxfan]

It constantly amazes me how people forget this is a redsox fan site. I forget sometime and try think rationaly. But that is the opposite of fan. See websters.
Latin fanaticus inspired by a deity, frenzied, from fanum temple — more at feast
Date:
1550

: marked by excessive enthusiasm and often intense uncritical devotion

http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/fanatic

[kinyah]

"I wouldn't touch [BB's] fucking whore of a mother with" Bea Arthur's dick" and estelle getty pushing.

please, try the veal !

[ruby02138]

Gosh boys, we're cranky today, ain't we?
At the risk of being the butt (since that's today's obsession) of soxaholix rants, would someone enlighten me as to why Sox fans hate Clemens so much? I'm new to this game.

[Kaz]

I don't know about Sox fans in general, but on this site, we hate Clemens because on one fateful day about 15 years ago....

He used his steroid-adled dick to impregnate BB's fucking whore mother while John Banks watched, Estelle Getty was pushing, and Bea Arthur stroked her's in the corner waiting for sloppy seconds.

So, Clemens will always be known as the asshole who injected *us* with the troll that is BB around here. Damn him. Damn him to hell.

I love it when things come full circle.

[vasoxfan]

Roger how do i hate the let me count the ways.
1) Because you are one of the biggest dicks in professional sports as exemplified by (among other things) the "after all I've done for the game".
2) Because he spent 12 some odd years as a Red Sox and didn't want to recognize that if he enters the HOF.
3) He played for the Yankees!!!!
4) Need I go on?

[vasoxfan]

Great Job Kaz. Why the fuck was I even remotely serious?

[yazbread]

I think Clemens began to alienate Sox fans when he groused about having to carry his luggage thru Logan Airport.

[Harwich Rich]

The Texas Con Man- need I say more ?

[h.b]

Bill Simmons sums it all up pretty well in this column:

"Is Clemens the Antichrist?"

[ruby02138]

thanks, h.b., just what I was looking for.

[nodisrepect]

I just thought I would say to John Banks bb, Estelle Getty, Bea Arthur and Ruth Gordon:

Go fuck yourselves in your fucking fuckholes.

no disrespect

[mojito]

I lost all respect for the liar when, after a disasterous '86 series, Clemens broke his contract, effectively saying, "fuck you Boston, I don't care what I agreed to and the fact I didn't win any WS games and was 1-2 in the Angels series. Gimme more!" His word is shit.

[BB]

H.B - Your comments to me today say all that needs to be said about you and your insane bias.
I've got a feeling you haven't spent much time "trash talking" on the hoops court, ice rink or any other field of athletic endeavor. If you did you'd know that jumping straight to "mother" jokes is a one way ticket to getting your ass kicked.
No, H.B , you come across as one of those "soft" literary types who spent his youth (and adulthood) with his nose in a book dreaming of what it would be like to actually play a sport.

No need to type in your well-worn reply which would be something like - "heh, if you only KNEW me, BB, you'd know just how WRONG you are". Whatever, (no)Hart, whatever...

John Banks - congratulations! You are the first person to EVER go against the Soxaholix grain and support this Yankee "troll" in any way. That takes guts and, sometimes, guts are all that matters. To you I say, thanks.

To the rest of you - Go shit in your collective Red SAWX hats...

[da kine]

Bias on a Red Sox fan site? Insanity.

[mojito]

Here's when I began to hate Clemens:
http://tinyurl.com/299qba

Even a kinghell whiner like ARod has never broken his contract. Clemen's proven his word is shit.

[h.b]

The funniest thing is that the trolls like BB used to only come out when the Yankees were doing something well.

Now, of course, with the Yankees seemingly always stuck in the shit pot of mediocrity, these trolls have nothing to latch onto so they are stuck with defending Clemens who not only isn't a Yankee currently, but even when he was in the Pinstripes he never attracted much love from Yanks fans.

Guess you've got to take what you can get.

And yes, I am pretty soft, BB, except when I watch your dad on top of your sister. That kinda excites me, especially when sis is getting mouth raped.

*(For john banks' sake I've decided to leave your momma out of it. Don't want to scar his tender world view or anything.)

[Ice Princess]

BB - How can you say JB is the 1st to defend your trollness? Does this mean you're admitting that you & JO are indeed one & the same?

Clemens blew it with me when my then 5 year old nephew had a one on one moment with him, which we waited for about a half hour for, & when he asked him to sign his tiny little glove, he refused & said "We lost kid, gimme a fucking break already". Now granted, it was a playoff game in Oakland, but still...

My nephew ran around saying 'Gimme a fucking break already' for 3 weeks straight. My sis is still pissy about that!

[professional hitter]

"except when I watch your dad on top of your sister. That kinda excites me, especially when sis is getting mouth raped."

h.b., you soft literary bastard - is that Cheever? It sounds so familial...

[yazbread]

Rice did not get the votes.

[Kaz]

The Aristocrats!

[Bob]

Aarg. Gossage got in. here's the info on Rice (guess my shirt will be relevant for at least another year):

//Jim Rice, the former star of 16 seasons, all with the Red Sox, barely missed by 14 votes as he fell 2.8 percent (72.2) below the necessary 75 percent to gain admission to the hallowed red-brick Hall on Main Street in Cooperstown. He'll undoubtedly go in next year, when Rickey Henderson will be an obvious first-time favorite. Rice then will be on the writers' ballot for his 15th and final year.//

[Bob]

Oh, BTW, I don't mean "Aaargh, Gossage got in" in a bad way. I actually think he deserves it. It was more of an "aargh, Jim didn't get in."

[Bob]

Kintees, how about a "72.2 and Rainy" shirt for next year?

[Kaz]

The Baseball Hall of Fame is letting itself get written into irrelevancy by not adjusting its methods to meet the realities of today. By continuing to let the BBWAA have the reins for its entry pass as opposed to the general public or some independent board of directors. "Baseball Writers" can't even find their own ass with both hands sometimes when it comes to relevant topics, like whether a guy did steroids or not. Half of the time, they write only because they need to justify their existence. With the advent of the internet, I doubt these guys are necessarily as close to their subject as we used to have to believe they were (because we had no other way to get the insider news on our favorite players). But look at how many times in the past year someone said what they knew of Curt Schilling, just to get dragged out in the street by Curt, himself, in his own blog and told the truth.

They are increasingly irrelevant and today is just another example why.

[soxdownunder]

Bugger! I've been wearing my kintee's 'Let Jim In' T pretty much constantly for a couple of weeks now (Mrs SDU made me wash it once). It doesn't seem to have the aphrodisiac quality of which Bob has at times spoken. Could be the axial tilt. People down here just look at me funny.

[soxdownunder]

Oh, and John Banks, hb may be a motherfucker but he's OUR motherfucker.

[mikeya2k1]

perhaps im mistaken but doesnt the hall of fame decide which cap the player would wear? i thought since boggs decided he would sell to the highest bidder (more or less)the hall took the decision out of the players hands. speacking of the hall of fame. the fact that jim rice is not in is the biggest joke possible. when ney yourk sports talk is saying its a travisty that hes not in i think that says it all.

[soxdownunder]

You're right mikeya according to Wiki:

'The Hall has also recently changed its stance regarding team membership. Although all the teams for which a player played are usually listed in the text of the plaque, most are depicted wearing the cap of one specific team. Until recently, it was the player's choice which cap they would wear, and the players did not always make the most popular choice.
...
In light of rumors that teams were offering number retirement, money or organizational jobs in exchange for the cap designation, the Hall decided to change the policy. Although the decision-making process would be a mutual responsibility, the Hall, not the players, would have the final say in such matters.'

[mikeya2k1]

wow checking out my spelling errors in my last post. cant tell i started on the bottle early