Ohhh-Oh, The Guns of Boston

Doug:
Poor Mr. Hanky the Yankee. Even aftah embarassing himself ovah the A-Rod "ultimatum," he still doesn't understand the meaning of "deadline."

 

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Doug:
Now Hanky has to "sleep on it."

 

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Bill:
Yeah, but while he and Cashman were singing each othah sleepytime lullabys to each othah, the Twins and Red Sox were exchanging medical records. …

 

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Bill:
"In fact, an hour past midnight in New York and right around midnight at the Opryland Hotel, it was the Boston Red Sox who appeared closest to a deal with the Twins for Santana."

 

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Bill:
"A Red Sox official said he was 'cautiously optimistic' the club could complete the deal for Santana, putting the two-time Cy Young Award winner next to Josh Beckett, Curt Schilling, Daisuke Matsuzaka and, probably, Clay Buchholz in the Red Sox rotation."

 

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Doug:
And you've gotta love this: " 'If the Red Sox get Santana,' said an executive of one NL team that's grateful to be in the other league, 'they might be the best team in the history of the frigging universe.'"

 

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Bill:
The perfect bookend to the best football team in the history of the frigging universe.

 

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Doug:
Which goes so, so well with the best fans in the best sports city in the history of the friggin universe.

 

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Bill:
For years they crushed us and they bruised us, but now, now they'll answer to the Guns of Boston.

 

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Doug:
And we show no mercy, bitches.

 

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Comments

[Bob]

Kaz, by "invoice," I'm talking about the season tickets/10th Man Plan invoice.

[h.b.]

WFAN: Yankees believe Santana going to Boston. Lester, Crisp and "a couple other prospects"

[Kaz]

Oh, Bob, right. No, not yet. I'll let you know when I see it.

[Kaz]

Dominican TV ad from Aug 2006 (sorry, video is no longer on YouTube):

ORTIZ: There are some at-bats where one can’t afford to fail. The same is true during the intimate moments. Take Elevex. Take it from me, David Ortiz, Big Papi.

ANNOUNCER: Elevex. 36 hours of pure masculine sexual potency.

Elevex must be the Latin American name for Boston Sports Fandom.

[h.b.]

Hot chick: "Wow. So how big does it get?"

Red Sox Fan: "Honey, it goes past 10 and all the way to Elevex."

Boomchickawaaawhaaa.

[Bob]

"If your hitting streak lasts longer than 4 games, consult A-Rod in the post-season for immediate relief."

[pinstripe thunder]

Whenever you toy with trolls and chase them away, why am I always reminded of kids in a schoolyard exchanging self-congratulatory high fives after dispersing stray mongrels?

LC -- I would have figured you had seen enough cheesy horror movies to know that invoking the name of the devil without provocation always ends badly.

Bob -- The Green Monster has an organ and you played it? Three, two, one, ZERO.

H.B. -- please be careful where you point that thing.

Back to the basement.

Love Always,

PT

[Bob]

Uh, what?

I think P.T.'s been hitting the gin he makes in the rusted-out basement water heater.

[pinstripe thunder]

BTW, I think what Jason O. meant to say when you guyz were sparring yesterday, HB, is that (unlike ours) your team is very, very good. Reminds me of the 1976 Cincinnati Reds. Heh.

[louclinton]

"self-congratulatory high fives"

that's quite a mouthful from someone who glosses himself as "the devil"

buh=bye. go ahead and return to Man Town where Jorge Posada is Mayor and Andy Pettite, I think, turns 76 this week.

As for hb's word play [outstanding!], I'm guessing that those boner pills would also be endorsed by Spinal Tap.

[pt, that's another "eleven" joke"]

lc: biggah bounciah and boyish

[pinstripe thunder]

No need for Elevex jokes yet. I worry more about my Yankees' at bats than my own. Besides, I'm down in the basement. The hanky don't care.

Man Town, huh?

[Bob]

Here come the Angels:

4:49 p.m., from Jayson Stark
• The Twins and Angels continue to talk about a Johan Santana trade. Many of the same players mentioned in the Miguel Cabrera sweepstakes -- Howie Kendrick, Brandan Wood, Nick Adenhart, and possibly Jeff Mathis or Reggie Willits -- would be included in a package for Santana.

[louclinton]

Reporter to Angels:

"What, you talkin' bout Willits?"

sorry, it's been a long day.

[Bob]

Would that reporter be Dale ARNOLD?

[louclinton]

ha, bob. Thank Chrxst somebody got that one at least

[Kaz]

The only reason the Angels are involved is because NY backed out and the Twins lose if they can't bounce one team against another.

Seriously? You'd have to bag up the entire Angels team in the deal just to get a whiff of equality for what the Sox are putting on the table. At least the Hughes/Melky/Kennedy trade was just better than the Sox offer. That's when this was a race. The Twins are now basking in the afterglow of the Yankees/Sox orgy and just realized they never actually finished themselves so they dragged the Angels into it to try and rile the Sox back up again.

No thanks, Theo's got a headache. Just do the deal now and stop flitting around the room, Twin-kie.

[h.i.soxfan]

little late, but love the clash reference. to us the sox are "the only team that really matters"

[giannimo]

Is Theo asleep yet? 'cuz I'd kind of like to go to bed.

[giannimo]

Oops. Answer my own question:

In a brief session with reporters, Red Sox GM Theo Epstein said he expected negotiations with the Twins to go "well into the night."

Epstein didn't say what was being discussed. As tight-lipped as the Red Sox try to be in public, it's surprising he said as much as he did. He added that the teams are being flexible, that no "final offers" have been made. The Red Sox may be proposing a swap of Jon Lester, Coco Crisp, Jed Lowrie, Justin Masterson and Ryan Kalish for Santana. Dec. 4 - 9:11 pm et (Rotoworld)

[redleghockey]

Paul Simmonen......only song he sung for the only band that mattered