Oh, so that's what they mean by "Mystique and Aura"

Bill:
No current members of the Red Sox are on Mitchell's list.

 

---

Bill:
'Nuff said.

 

---

Doug:
Quod erat fucking demonstrandum. Yeah, that's what I'm fucking talking about.

 

---

Bill:
And only two from 2007 Championship team — one who played a very minor role and one who played absolutely, positively no role at all.

 

---

Doug:
Unless of course you count his role in preventing the team from reaching the 100 win plateau.

 

---

Bill:
Yeah, memo to Gagne: You need a new chemist shit for brains.

 

---

Doug:
Meanwhile, down in the Bronx, 22 current or formah Yankees are on the list. Go figure?

 

---

Bill:
And all 22 played a role in the "Dynasty" years from '96-'00.

 

---

Doug:
26*

 

---

Bill:
That image of Clemens bent ovah and getting injected into his naked redneck ass is forevah seahed into my memory.

 

---

Doug:
Yeah, instead of calling him "The Rocket" he'll forevah more be known as "The Buttock"

 

---

Bill:
Somewhere, Suzy Waldman weeps.

 

---

Author's Notes:

Giving credit where credit is due, the "26*" is swiped from a comment Kaz made yesterday, and the "Somewhere, Suzy Waldman weeps." line is taken from an email exchange but where I'm not sure if he wishes to be named as the originator in this space. (He's got a reputation to protect and writes books and stuff.)

Comments

[louclinton]

sad, but beautiful nonetheless.

lc

[vermonter]

Every Yankee fan can take all of he chest-pounding bullshit, roll it up into a nice, long tube, and cram it "clear" up their fucking dipshit asses.

Fuck you all!

Oh yeah...thanks for putting Tek on your "list" yesterday, Asshat Blunder.

No Tek, Manny, Papi, Youk, Paps, Lowell...none of 'em.

[Rock]

My favorite part of the whole report was this (paraphrased) bit:

Theo: I like Gagne, but the Dodgers think he's juiced. Is he?
Scout: Like an orange.

[Harwich Rich]

You don't suppose the Bambino was on the juice too,do you? Oh-wrong juice :)

[Natalie]

Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster of emotion. Thankfully my free range Tekthighs fantasies are no longer cause for angst or self-loathing (BB's conspiracy theories as to Red Sox Mitchell payoffs are too ludicris to even be entertained (in both meanings of that word)). It's a beautiful day.

Kaz- 26*... brilliant.

Note: from here on out, I am going to start writing Fathead's name as Rohgh Clemen$. It makes me happy.

[Natalie]

Holy shit, being up since 5am has clearly addled my brain. I do know that the word ludicrous is not usually or unironically spelled like the rapper. I am actually embarrassed. :)

[Bob]

And now the Yankee's whining and "explanations" begin.

Mystique and Aura?

They'll all be saying "Mistake and Begorra."

[Ryan with a capital]

One question that occurs to me with regards to the Yankees is, "What did St. Joeseph know and when did he know it?" Or did Torre force himself to be willfully ignorant?

[da kine]

From my former office Marty, via text:

"Sen Mitchell is part of the red sucks conspiracy to bring down the greatest franchise in sports history...Clemens is a red sucks plant."

[Mike H]

So, I am doing some work with the NYPost, yesterday an editor comes along and says Tek is on the list. This is around noon, and someone had leaked a copy earlier that included some bogus names.

'Bullshit' I told him. 'The 2003 Yankees lineup I can believe, but not Tek.'

Right now, we know who the Sox are. Fans, players and management are aligned in a way that has never existed with the Sox before. You know these guys are solid and not even a friggin' newspaper editor with all the sources in the world can challenge that.

Clemens was my hero when I was a kid but never, ever, EVER am I going to look back to those times and get that special feeling. I hope Lester and Bucoltz are paying attention, they are from Texas and should get it in their heads that there are limits to what you do to win. The Rocket was a fraud and his only glory days were with the Sox. Everything else was fake and the Duke was completely 100% right about that has been.

I am so angry about all the Yankees names. This Billy Martin logic they have used in the past is at the root of it all, you cannot win by cheating. I am going to go piss on Yankees stadium today in protest.

M

[Mike H]

Oh yeah, and Mo Vaughn - you big fat pig I am so glad we got Ortiz and Manny and sent you off. I hope you dine on your own filth you swine.

M

[Mike H]

And John Valentin thank you for not being on there.

M

[ghostoffoxx]

It is nice that no major players on the Sox were noted in the Mitchell report, but we need to take a couple of things into account before we start sucking each other’s dicks:

The supplier that gave the majority of Mitchell his information was based out of New York. Of course there will be a large portion of New York players on the list. Secondly, this is a very, very small sample size. There are far more suppliers of PEDs than was mentioned and interviewed for the Mitchell report. Plus, some Sox players have been around some shady individuals. Papi is still trained by Angel (Nao) Presinal who was the guy that was banned from MLB clubhouses after the bag of steroids scandal in Cleveland. “Nao” is the personal trainer for Bartolo Colon, Vladimir Guerrero, Miguel Tejada, Pedro Feliz, Guillermo Mota as well as Papi. You might notice a couple of those other names are in the Mitchell Report.

Look, I hope that all of the major contributors to the Sox’ success are clean, but to start acting Holier Than Thou is a wee bit premature and naïve.

[vancouversoxfan]

Sorry to be a wet blanket and I was as happy as anyone that no current or World Series role-playing players were on the Mitchell list...But that list clearly does not contain the names of all the juicers since 1988...We would be woefully ignorant to think otherwise...I believe it was Kaz who rightfully pointed out to me last year that Trot's body/arms underwent quite a transition over the years....I would hope that none of our favourites did, but we might never actually know.

[Tarrkid]

"the Duke was completely 100% right about that has been."

No kidding... He got kicked to the curb by Duquette, and cried all the way to his source. "I'll show them! I'll show them all!!!"

Nice job, Roger...

"No HOF for you!"

[Bob]

//but to start acting Holier Than Thou is a wee bit premature and naïve.//

Jeez, can't I have a few days of Holier Than Thou-ness?

I'm a f-ing Red Sox fan, for God's sake.

I might also add that after Pindick Blunder posted his fake list, I gave Tek the business.

Being an overwrought reactionary is what I do.

And I do it very, very well.

[Jeffrey]

I'm basking in the holier than Thou-ness of it all.

Any good nightmare commuter stories from yesterday? I got off fairly easy, just over an hour to go what normally takes me 15 minutes.

[Bob]

Jeffrey, here's my nightmare commuter story:

I walked from work to Pete's, had some beers, then walked home to the North End.

Ha! I'm living the dream, people, living the dream.

Beer cart in about 5 and a half hours...

[vermonter]

Me too, Bob. I'm nothing if not emotional and reactionary. I thought that's what made for a good sports fan. I'm not a writer, player, manager, or suit. I'm a fan and will bask in the poop upon the Yankees until I feel that I am done.

[Natalie]

Bob, someday they are going to build statues in your honor.

No commuter horror story (I got lucky, left the office to work from home around 1:00 and my trip was only about 10 min longer than usual; those who left just a half hour later got screwed apparently) but I did have the funny experience of walking the dog at 10pm last night and seeing my exceedingly drunk neighbor faceplant into a snowdrift. And I mean that literally- face first, spread eagle, and comically unable to rise with copius assistance. At least she was a cheerful drunk. I aims to follow her example (minus the faceplant) this evening.

[Bob]

Ha! Guess she was making a Snow-Lindsey.

[vasoxfan]

vermonter-- are you really basking in the poop? Or did I read you wrong? I mean who am I to judge-bask away!!

[Bob]

H.B., does Lisa have cartoon poops?

If so, I think I'd bask in it.

[h.b]

Bob,

I'm so jealous. I've always wanted to live in the North End.

Closest I got was passing out drunk in a door stoop after two bottles of chianti at Regina's and many shots of grappa at Cafe Vittorria.

[vermonter]

vasoxfan,

Delighting-yes...bathing-no.

Although I'd be standing behind Bob in the Lisa line.

[vermonter]

BTW-does the name Stovall Brown mean anything to anyone?

[SoCalBoSoxFan]

I would love to have a tee shirt with simply “26*” on the front. I would wear it the way MFY fans wore those shirts that just had “1918” on the front.

I have a commuting horror story from yesterday. I left work a little early when I turned west the sun was just I a spot that really blinded me and it was too low for my visor to any good. I had to take one of my hands off the wheel and hold it up to block the sun. It was horrible!

[yazbread]

Roger has denied the allegations. We can all rest easy.

[Kaz]

Doug, you took the words right outta my mouth. ;) Many thanks to h.b. for that nod! I've been making sure to stay pretty well-grounded on this. I know the Mitchell report is not the be-all-end-all of steroid use, but the fact that so many on the 2000 (and other years') Yankee rosters are definite dopers now really irks me. Part of the rivalry was always knowing they were a good ballclub and that we could never quite finish out on top of them....and now it seems there was good reason, they cheated to win.

I hope this dogs every single player in that report until they leave baseball disgraced and humbled. I hope Roger Clemens never even gets a whiff of brass polish emanating out of the doors at Cooperstown. I hope every kid who put their devotion into him as a superstar feeds their shredded memorabilia with his name on it to a bunch of dirty swine who get processed whole into a gelatin which will be used for the space program so that the astronauts can eat some tasty jello and then evacuate their waste into space.

So, yeah, that's what I got out of the Mitchell Report.

[vasoxfan]

It bothers me a little that Theo knew about Gag-me being juiced and was still willing to sign him. Mgmt plays a role in this. If mgmt didn't sign juicers then maybe they wouldn't do it. Imagine for a second if any of us failed a drug test @ work. I'm done being an absolutist.

[Vivo]

And so it begins, as en masse
Yankee fans realize, aghast,
Their heroes are fakes.
No surprise, fer chrissakes,
Clemens et al took it right in the ass.

[BB]

Kaz,

Don't fret about the rivalry btwn yanks and sawx. Plenty of sawx players are dopers as well. Their names weren't on the report for obvious reasons. Anyone who thinks the "report" represents a defeinitive list is a fool.

[Harwich Rich]

Not me vasoxfan,I'll always love Absolut

[Kaz]

Who woke BigBaby up?

What's wrong with his reading comprehension (I was like the 3rd person of many here to admit the list is only a start)?

Will Robin escape from the Joker in time to save Batman from the Riddler?

[meredith]

I'm afraid that Sen. Mitchell's position as Director of the Red Sox irretrievably marks the lack of current Sox names in the report as "suspect", at best. Which saddens me, but there's nothing for it, I guess.

That said, I hope the closest Roger Clemens gets to Cooperstown is a traffic jam on the Thruway. (One of our local sportscasters here in CT actually said on-air last night that he thinks Clemens should still be considered for the Hall based on what he did prior to 1998 ... I couldn't disagree more. You cheat, you're out. Basta.)

[vasoxfan]

>>Not me vasoxfan,I'll always love Absolut.
Absolutely!!
But seriously I was more partial to Finlandia in my day.

[Bob]

H.B., anytime you need to crash out stinking drunk in the North End, my place awaits your holiness. But you have to sleep on the couch. The girlfriend (for some unknown and unfathomable reason) objects to threesomes.

Anybody up for a few beers at Pete's (sorry, "Durty Nellie's") and a pizza from Regina's tonight?

My current fav is their classic cheese with salami. Good for The Gout, don't ya know.

[pinstripe thunder]

WB, BB. You're far more literate than revisionist Soxaholix would have led me to believe.

No attempt at poning, LC. I thought yesterday's list was genuine. Clearly somebody in MLB was looking to embarrass Mitchell by circulating an early list that included names they thought should have been included. The early list, now discredited, was topheavy with current and former RS (Varitek, Tavaras, Trot, Nomar and, interestingly, Damon) and notably included Pujols, all of whom weren't included on the real black list.

Ghostoffoxx makes some good if obvious points, so don't get too self-righteous or self-congratulatory on us yet.

Having said all that, Clemens is lying, cheating scum. I'm embarrassed to have ever rooted for him, especially hearing the same whispers everybody else did. May he rot in anabolic hell.

Amused to see the sudden proliferation of 26's on this board. Don't get too enamored of the 26* unless you're prepared to get saddled with a 7* when Damon and Nixon go down in the next wave.

Glad you can eat with a clear conscience, Nat.

[Kaz]

26*...in case anyone wants a so-so image file of it.

[louclinton]

"the Duke was completely 100% right about that has been."

Thanks for making the same point I made 36 hours ago:

"If this is true [Clemons, I mean], maybe Dan DuQuette has some measure of vindication, instead of spending the rest of his like masquerading as a star-nosed vole."

If you see anything else you want to steal go right ahead.

lc

[Kaz]

OMG, you know what I just realized??

Duquette is so vindicated for getting rid of that hack Clemens! Can you believe that?

.
.
.

Just bustin' yer balls, Lou, just bustin' yer balls. :)

[Harwich Rich]

Surly but lovable :)

[Bob]

One more hour...

[louclinton]

as for pt, go shit in your hat. The list was discredited by the time you posted it. It was discredited by the time I read your post and discovered the source [WNBC]

as for the point that there are others involved, I agree. I read the report last night (at least the part that DID NOT give the history of substance abuse in baseball from the time the slamandar crawled up on the shore and sprouted legs).

For an investigation that took 20 months at $1mill a month, it was a piss poor bit of work. If 'd turned that in at what ever level of schooling that I achieved, the warden , uh, I mean, instructor would have told me to gobble some greenies and come back with better work in a month. It was just thin. Do I believe all that were listed did it? You bet. But the list is selective, since they names only came from 4 branches of the tree
1. Balco
2. Grimsley's House (DOJ)
3. Butt-poking Blutaski or whatever his name is and
4. loose change.

I mean who is dumb enough to pay for illegal drugs with a check drawn on the joint bank account with his wife.

Cash, intermediaries, deniability.

as for everyone else, peas on urf, goodwill toward Lisa.

lc

[NYSoxfan]

Kaz had better copyright that 26* because I see it as the perfect t-shirt to wear to Yankee Stadium next season... maybe I'll save it for the All-Star Game where Francona will be ably managing the AL stars toward securing the Sox home-field advantage in the World Series...

[pinstripe thunder]

Vermonter -- Stovall Brown is a pretty good blues band with roots all the way back to the Newport Jazz Festival in the late `60's. Like their stuff. Why? Do you know Stovall Brown? Are YOU Stovall Brown?

[soxdownunder]

Both Tim Kurkjian and Peter Gammons said on Sportscentre that they's still vote for Clemens in a first round HofF ballot. Their fairly good contention being that the evidence against him comes from a snitch who is facing a gaol sentence and who has an obvious motive to lie. Nevertheless, bend over Rogah.

As lc said yesterday Barry Bonds was the real winner.

[louclinton]

keep trying, pt. keep trying. It's f'ing pathetic.

//Stovall Brown is a pretty good blues band with roots all the way back to the Newport Jazz Festival in the late `60's?//

Really? According to CSB (who may be vermonter, hb, Lisa, Theo or me) in his bio:

" The summer of 1970, while still in the 11th grade, found CSB at the 2nd Ann Arbor Blues Festival where he was further exposed to great influences like PAPA LIGHTFOOT, JUNIOR PARKER, SON HOUSE, HOUND DOG TAYLOR, BUDDY GUY and JUNIOR WELLS. In 1971 he had an opportunity to play with both BIG MAMA THORNTON as well as his harp idol, GEORGE HARMONICA SMITH. When they finished playing, GEORGE searched Chris out in the crowd and asked him if he wanted to come out to Los Angeles to be his protege. Regretfully, he declined the offer. Now leading bands under the name of Stovall Brown Blues Band, Chris did many gigs at colleges, coffee houses and clubs around the New England Area. Finally, in 1972 he hooked up with the Jasper Cooke Band in Boston, a blues-rock band that was managed by Robin Hemingway, who was T-Bone Walker's manager at the time. They did several gigs with T-Bone and even opened for him at The Jazz Workshop. He stayed with that band until March of 1973, at which point he returned to R.I. to reform STOVALL BROWN BAND. "

All the way back to the '60's huh? Leave that shit to somebody who had a pulse in the '60's, sonny.

And while we at it, what about Saint Joesph of Torre, who presided over a clubhouse of greedheads, dope fiends and sex addicts and criminals for 10 years, but yet get off scott free.

Yankeez suc

lc

[Bob]

Beer, glorious beer, cold, crisp and delicious...

Okay all, I'm about to start hitting the beer cart.

Hopefully we'll have something fun to yak about on Monday.

Which I have off.

So there.

[yazbread]

Bob, we can talk about Belichick taking a page out of Clemens' book and giving it to Mangini right in the tookus.