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| December 2007 »
Bill:
Santana for Lestah, Bowden, Crisp, Lowrie, Frankincense and Myrrh?
Bill:
Hello, Christmas friggin' morning!
Doug:
Seriously. I'd hate to lose Lestah or any of the prospects, but Johan Santana?!?! Holy baby wrapped in swaddling clothing.
Doug:
Said Theo to the Sox fans ev'rywhere,
We will have a dynasty!
Days of feasts Sox fans ev'rywhere,
We will have a dynasty!
Lisa the Temp:
What can I say, peeps, it's slow around here.
Lisa the Temp:
But look on the brightside — the less baseball news there is the less time you need to spend visiting baseball blogs and that means …
Lisa the Temp:
The more time you can spend at YouPorn*.
[*NSFW]
Lisa the Temp:
Oh, c'mon, peeps, Lisa wasn't born yesterday. I know all about the devil and your idle, hairy palmed hands.
Al:
Not a moment too soon if you ask me. Let's hope he takes Sox Appeal and Sweet Caroline with him.
Doug:
Yeah, dude nevah met a PR scheme too tawdry to milk.
Mike:
Hey, c'mon, you guys are being a bit too hahd on Steinberg.
Mike:
His abilities in realizing the potential of idle resources was unequaled.
Doug:
You mean idle resources like pink hats?
Mike:
All of it. Those pink hat sales and all the rest went right into the revenue stream, every little bit played a role in both World Series wins.
Al:
Cheapens the brand if you ask me.
Doug:
Yeah, even at Fenway of all places it's more and more WWF Vegas stage show and less and less pure baseball.
Al:
Absolutely. I'm old enough to remembah and relish a time when between innings there was no theme music, no gaudy spectacles to amuse the pink hats and their cell phone yapping boyfriends … There was just the sound of baseball.
Mike:
The game is entertainment, and Steinberg knew that.
Al:
Isn't, you know, baseball in Fenway enough entertainment in and of itself?
Mike:
For a new generation of fans, the answer is no.
Al:
To quote Brian Wilson, I guess I just wasn't made for these times.
Doug:
Hey, Al, cheer up, at least The Dentist nevah went in for thundahsticks and white hankies.
Al:
But his succesah might.
Mike:
C'mon, Al, Good times nevah seemed so good. Wah-wah-wah.
Your omniscient author in absentia:
I picked up something that I'll euphemistically refer to as a "stomach thing," and, consequently, I'm not doing so well.
On the positive side, it's a quick way to drop a few extra pounds.
Bill:
"… his first-grade teacher, wore his 6-year-old handprint over her heart, on the sweater her volunteer room mother had made as a Christmas present, little hands drawn everywhere."
Mike:
Seriously, pass the treacle. Only an absolute cynic wouldn't get chocked up by a "kid makes it big from a town without even a movie theatre" story.
Mike:
Are you kidding me. This kid is on pace to be one of the all-time fan favorites.
Mike:
Dude, don't make me think on the Monday aftah a long weekend.
Your omniscient author in absentia:
I'm heading out early for the Thanksgiving holiday and will return next week.
I hope all of you have a great holiday. God knows we have a lot to be thankful for this year!
We haven't much from our Yankees fan friends of late, but they are still out there nurturing their Mystique and Awe …
Unknown Yankees fan:
A-Rod back. Posada back. And now Mo's coming back.
Say hello to the 2008 AL East Divisional Champs.
Marty:
Time to grind these upstart Red Sux under the heel of our boots.
Mike:
Ah, don't mind him Al. Doug's a Rethuglican, remembah, so he doesn't care about poor people
Doug:
Man, you Taxachusetts liberals crack me up.
Doug:
The Red Sox respond not only to the most basic laws of economics, supply and demand, but also respond to the competitive reality of playing in the AL East by raising ticket prices and it's all "Whaa whaa whaa."
Doug:
But you same guys practically tear a rotatah cuff reaching for a pen to sign ovah more of your paycheck when Teddy Kennedy and his Big Government cronies come knocking with a tax increase to fund yet anothah boondoggle.
Mike:
Oh, right, and your Neocon wars aren't supplied on the backs of the taxpayahs but are instead funded by scraping the gold off the gilded turds Dick Cheney shits out 3 times a day.
Doug:
I can't wait to hear how your tune is going to change once Frau Clinton is the CinC.
Al:
Hey, guys, do you think we can turn this creepy corner back to, I dunno, baseball or porn or something?
Mike:
Seriously. Let's stick to what unites us.
Doug:
You mean something like this?
Doug:
Ah, Christ, would you two buck up a bit? We just won the World Series or haven't your heard? These are the good times.
Al:
What the idea of Yankees having A-Rod and Lowell at the cornahs doesn't piss you off?
Doug:
Look, dude, it wasn't so long ago that we were the team trying to pick up the Bernie Williamses and the other formah Yankees. Now that the situation is reversed, I find it amusing.
Mike:
Yeah, but what bothahs me about the possibility of the Yankees signing both A-Rod and Lowell is it doesn't cost them any prospects, just dollahs, so they are still in the running for a Santana.
Doug:
But how'd all that work out?
Doug:
Damn right I do. And, look, it's not like while all this is going on Theo is sitting in his office watching two girls and a cup.
Al:
Seriously, for all we know Theo this is all part of some deepah strategy by the Red Sox front office.
Mike:
Yeah, Theo is like chess mastah Kasparov, thinking 3-4 moves ahead.
Doug:
And the Yankees are like Bobby Fisher — Once the best in the world but now frothing at the mouth and totally FUBAR.
Lisa the Temp:
Hello, peeps, Lisa here and it's time to answer a few from my fans.
Lisa the Temp:
"Dear Lisa,
Are you ever going to take off your jacket? Isn't it uncomfortable to be so bound up all day? Signed Burt in Bangor."
Lisa the Temp:
Burt, thanks so much for your concern. And, yes, at times I do feel confined.
But here's the deal, Burt. The last time I took off my jacket the HR department threatened to send me home citing that I was a "distraction." What can I say, peeps?
Lisa the Temp:
Ok, here's a question from Kevin in Newton.
"Dear Lisa,
Do you workout?"
Lisa the Temp:
Ah, Kev, is the Pope a Nazi?
Lisa the Temp:
Yes, I work out. In fact, some of the things I do with a Cybex machine are illegal in certain parts of the South.
Lisa the Temp:
Oh, my. Look at the time. That's it for today, peeps, until …
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