« 2007 World Champions! | Main | Money for Nothing »

What’s taters, eh?

Bill:
I've got to fly out of town on a business trip but I'm really worried about getting through the security at Logan …

 

Mike:
How's that?

 

Bill:
Well, you know, on account of how  I've lost my identity now that the Red Sox have won anothah pennant and all.

 

Mike:
Hey, yeah, I've heard that even up in Cow Hampshire they're changing the the state motto from "Live Free or Die" to "Peace Out, Bro."

 

Bill:
So I'll meet you and the rest of the gang in the lobby for the victree parade?

 

Mike:
Absolutely. But just remembah, if you see a guy in one of those fake eyeglasses and nose disguises and with blue lips, look aftah your balls.

 

Bill:
A-Rod?!

 

Mike:
Yeah, you know that dude is going to be totally stalking the rolling rally today, whispering crazy talk out loud about how "They have the Precious but the Precious is Mines. Yankees betrays us. Wicked, tricksey, false. Where is it? Where is it? They stole it from us. My Precious."

 

Comments

Goes with coneys dude. And yes we cooks it regardless of what A-Rod thinks.

Anybody going to the parade?

I work within a block of The Garden, so it's an easy stroll over to, say, The Red Hat if anybody wants to meet- up for "lunch."

(Those quotation marks stand for "hamburgers" if anybody from work is reading this. Eric.)

BTW, Brian McGrory is the new Shank McCHB. What a douchenozzle.

This week's New Yorker (are we allowed to read that?) has a devastating profile of Boras that comes close to arguing his methods are responsible for A-Rod's poor image. Not sayin' A-Rod shouldn't share the blame, but Bore-Ass's money-first, no-roots-in-the-community approach hasn't helped. I'm thinkin' A-Rod isn't so evil that running with the right posse would have made a big difference. (FYI it's the issue with the scary Cheney-jack-o-lantern cover.)

On a brighter note, I treated myself to a DVR FNL catch-up orgy last night. Have to admit I'm liking the new storylines -- Tyra/Landy/dead body, Tim and 6 in Mexico, etc.

A-Rod may be a duchebag for a lot of reasons, but the announcement is all Boras.

Hey Vasoxfan I thought you were going away for a break?
(Like any good addict... I can't help myself)

Heh. Good addict. Yeah, H.B. gives this site to us for free right now, but he's gonna start charging soon.

Bob, shhhhh...... He may be listening.

Unfortunately, I'm 600 odd miles south of the parade, but I do get NESN, and I work from home.

Wait, who am I?

That article by McGrory was insipid. I hope FireJoeMorgan.com tackles that piece of idiocy post-haste.

PSP- in re: FNL- I was verrrrrrry wary of the Landry/Tyra plotline, but it hasn't derailed the show into melodrama, thank God. The episode two weeks ago when Tami hauls a screaming Julie out of the Swede's van was just AWESOME, and 6 and Riggins singing Mexican karaoke last week made me laugh out loud. Still the best show on TV, which is great because Heroes is in a serious sophomore slump, boring me to tears.

In case anyone would like a few suggestions on the email to send to your closest Skankee friend, here's the template I put together...

"Dear (insert Yankee fan name)

Here's just a short recap the latest news of the past 10 days, in case you're head was in the sand...

1. Joe Torre, classiest guy in the organization, is
surreptitiously released by the Skankees;

2. Red Sox come back from 3-1 deficit to beat Indians;

3. Red Sox win big, win small but most importantly,
continue to WIN in OCTOBER;

4. Slappy Bluelips quits the Yankees, costing them $33 million (he'll sign with the Cubs and continue their losing ways).

5. Carl Pavano - the CT product who did not want to sign for the Red Sox and subsequently was out for 1 year with a pulled ass muscle - expresses his undying love for John Kruk and Tim McCarver (I just made that up);

6. Red Sox win World Series, 2nd in last four years.

7. Yankees hire slopehead Staff Sgt. Asshole Girardi, assuring another generation of 'rebuilding'. There's no way he'll tolerate Johnny Fucking Damon.
8. Red Sox Victory Parade - today.

Warmest regards - and don't forget - the Yankees suck."

Your friend
(Insert your name here)

More re: FNL. The scene in the restaurant where Landry's dad asks Tyra what she's doing to Landry, why she's hanging around with, etc., and she says (approximately) that Landry's "kind, smart, funny, etc." struck me as real character growth and on of thoselittle moments that saves the T/L line from going melodramatic. On the other hand, I probably identify with Landry as the nerdy guy who did in fact win the beautiful cheerleader.

Oh, man. The McGory piece IS awful. Blech. It had one decent point and he didn't get until the last three paragraphs.

I don't understand where columnists are getting this stuff. Are they just making it up? Do they know fans who feel like this?

This, from the other Globe article, tickled me. "The Yankees ... will likely entertain offers for Johnny Damon." Awwww. Damon not working out?

PSP- I totally agree. Also good was the moment Landry tells her he loves her and (unlike most other shows) it's not milked for drama/angst, as he says in a rush as she widens her eyes in fake disbelief- "don't act like you didn't know..." It felt really real, and I like their characters' relationship even as I struggle with the fact that I don't believe their characters really would have done what they did (i.e. not immediately report what happened to authorities). Oh, and Tim Riggins looks real good with his shirt off. Thank God the actor who plays him is like 28 or I'd feel really dirty lusting after a "high schooler." :)

Taylor Kitsch is only 26, Natalie. You can feel very, very dirty you luster, you.

And judging by his sage comments on his Web site, I can only assume that he's still in high school.


26 is plenty legal, Bob. But I am happy to continue to feel dirty if the eventual getting clean involves that actor... :)

Damn pretty boy.

(BTW, Soxaholix, Natalie is a very beautiful woman, so I can hate on this little shit "Taylor" [like that's his real name] all I want.)

Abby, my dear, dear girlfriend, you're not reading Soxaholix today, are you, Sweetie?

Awwwwww, thanks Bob, I'm blushing.

LMAO...Arod as Gollum...

I don't know if LOTR is ruined for me or enhanced. Happy Parade Day everyone.

http://www.thebostonchannel.com/video/14451129/index.html

All corners of the Nation can watch the parade online.

This just in from the AP:

//Taylor Kitsch, of FNL, dead at age 26.

Taylor (not his real name) Kitsch was found dead on Boston's Canal Street minutes ago. Cause of death was not immediately know, but a foam 'Steve Martin head-arrow' was buried into his orbital eye socket, leading investigators to conclude that it was "death by kitsch." What is kinda ironic when you consider his last name is Kitsch.//

Here's to every Red Sox season having Truck Day and Parade Day bookends.

That last panel is Classic, man. Thanks for a good season.

Is that ruled a suicide, Bob?

BTW, I'd be jealous of Natalie's attention on TK too...if I didn't look just like him. [flex, flex, shiny smile]

Oh, right, I don't.

Ok, I'm in on whatever you're planning, Mr. Pink.

BTW, h.b....

Taters? Why it's PO TAY TOES! Boil'em, mash'em, stick'em in a stew...

Now, everyone get that song outta your head.

I've got "We are the Champions" running through my head right now, Kaz.

This can help get the song out of your head: www.badgerbadgerbadger.com

This just in:

It is neither Tribe Time, nor Rocktober.

Truck Day= 109 days

lc

Where's Manny?? Did he think the parade was tomorrow? Did he already set his clock back???

Not that I think it's going to happen (and I'm not sure I want it to), but think about this lineup for a second:
CF Ellsbury
1B Youk
DH Papi
LF Manny
SS A-Fraud
3B Lowell
RF Drew
C Tek
2B Pedroia

Imagine the O-ffense from that group! Not bad on the D, either... And I'd peg it at about 30% chance of happening. With step #1 being SIGN MIKE LOWELL

just sayin'

ARod as Gollum - perfect. Let's have no biting off of Red Sox fingers with rings.

BWF, that's definitely what I'm talking about, but I'd flip A-Rod and Manny. Manny's great protection (sure, Lowell is too) but he's also showing some wear I think. Where we ship Coco and Lugo off to to make that lineup work, I'm not sure, but I like it.

BTW, anyone who wants to see the rally can tune in live at http://www.thebostonchannel.com.

"Neither man nor fish-Marshwiggle" (or A-Rod) right,Richard?

Anyone having any luck on the boston.com video? I suspect the site is overwhelmed.

Hey Bob. My brother and I are going to the Bruins game on Thursday and will be at McGanns right around when you'd be leaving work.

We could meet for some "granola". That's for Eric.

Kaz, I agree that Fraud's a better #4, but Manny might be more likely to pull a hammy/strain his knee/develop BPH if he were dropped in the order. I can live with it this way for one year. I see Coco/Lugo + $3-4mil being sent somewhere for a solid #3 starter to replace Schill

//BTW, Soxaholix, Natalie is a very beautiful woman//

and WHY didn't we meet before the game at the Tavern? share the wealth and all that

Genghis:

Tried that letter out on a Spankees fan/friend (hey, I'm open-minded.) Got a classic rant back from him:

``You have to admit it’s all true. Especially #5, another heartless, talent less New England product. Hell the 3 best players in Sox history are from Baltimore, Long Island and San Diego. Can New England produce anything other than fat ass hypocritical politicians, drug using half baked pitching hacks and dental needy horror freaks.

In case you are wondering, in order they are: Babe Ruth, Yaz, Ted, insert first name then Kennedy, Bill Lee, Mark Fydrich and of course Steven “Hello Overbite” King.''


Not to excite
Not to alarm
But 0:55 minutes
Until FREE TACO...YUM!

Not JUST Bob, anyone can come, of course.

He just came to mind first naturally.

Almost as bad as the woman who said to me:

"... You're too young for the words "Bucky Dent" to hurt you. Like my Small Boy, you live in a world where the Red Sox occasionally win.

Me, I live in a world where they can be winning in the 8th inning of the fourth game and terror still seizes my heart.

I'm not trying to persuade you that they're going to lose, just try to make you understand: I fully understand that they CAN still lose this entire Series. I write this as the score stands 4 to 3 and Papelbon is warming up."

I was too angry to even respond to the "you're too young to know how much the Sox can hurt you" (for my money, 2003 was JUST as painful as 1979, if not more painful), so I just said:

"Whatever... only one team in history has ever blown a 3-0 lead in a seven game series. And that team is NOT the Boston Red Sox."

Seriously, did these people sleep through 2004 or something? Did they watch a game all offseason?

and by "offseason" I obviously mean "post-season"

Taylor/Tim not only had his shirt off but -- looking fresh from the waxing studio -- damn near had his pants off in some of those scenes. My wife has developed the same "feelings" for Jacoby Ellsbury Natalie has for Taylor Kitsch. Calls him "cutie" when he comes up to bat. The bright side was that most of the time it was "Cutie got a double!" or "Cutie got another double!."

Rodriguez as Gollum only enhances the experience. After all, a little hobbit---Pedroia, perhaps---throws him into molten lava.

The one-sheet might already be available.

Jackie,

I'm old enough to have felt the pain of 75 and 78 but that doesn't make me too old to enjoy watching Yankee fans squirm.

Friend's pics from near the start of the parade

Doesn't look like I'll be able to get out of work today to see the rally like I was able to do in 2004. If anyone wants to check out my friend's pics, feel free.

Jim,

If someone from NY wanted to start equating 'home-grown talent' with authenticity or integrity (politically) perhaps they could take a gander at their own lineup, or even their current Jr. Senator. Seems that NY has a tendency of people just 'passin' through'...

It was actually great for the Sox that Pavano didn't sign, he turned out to be the best non-acquisition for the Sox since...A-Rod!

Back from Gov Center/City Hall Plaza. Crowd was huge. Paps was dancey. Dropkicks were fun. Brooms were going for $40 (I passed).

Vermonter, Thursday at McGann's sounds good. I'll be at the bar section to the left when you walk in the door (now how would I know that layout?).

Hmmm, for I.D. purposes, I'll be wearing a Loyola Marymount grey shirt. It's clean.

Bob, very excited!

ETA around 4:30. We'll be the two guys who look alike.

Mmmm...the bar section...

Cool.

I'll be there closer to 5:30-5:45 if that's okay.

//Mumbles Tumbles//

Down goes Frazier!

//ETA around 4:30. We'll be the two guys who look alike//

Is that because you know Bob will get there around noon, and there's really only one of you?

Well duh.

God, I'm fast becoming the Foster Brooks of this site.

I'll have you know I'm officially classified as "Functioning."

Parade thoughts:

Papelbot does a great Hulk Hogan re: hand to ear. Oki is actually a worse dancer than I am - making white guys everywhere thankful. Maybe more ARod sucks signs than RS signs. And this is when it sucks living 3500 miles from home - but thank god for the interwebs.

//Hmmm, for I.D. purposes, I'll be wearing a Loyola Marymount grey shirt. It's clean.//

but will it still be clean by Thursday?

Vermonter - for identification purposes, this is Bob (with sausage AND ONION and Jim Rice in background):
http://picasaweb.google.com/soxdownunder/HolixEtc02/photo#5082058074969545826

Gee, SDU, thanks for posting my most flattering pic. :)

What about the one where I look like Tim Robbins?

BTW, note the Jim Rice shirt with Jim Rice in the background.

Kintees, natch.

Heh. Just remember why that pic makes me look like I'd just swallowed two gallons of Srircha.

I'd just swallowed two gallons of Srircha.


Don't lie- You only swallowed 1.75 gallons. The rest you wound up wearing

True. So true.

But at least the sauce matched the illustration of Jim.

It just turned his moustache into a 'stache-beard. Kinda Clement-ish.

I hear da kine is offering a special value pack of the 'Let Jim In' shirt, complete with 2oz Sriracha sauce and Berocca tablets

This is all well and good, but the question that needs answering is this:

When will be Bill be calling Marty Silverstein?

//Is that because you know Bob will get there around noon, and there's really only one of you?//
Nice!

Thanks for the pic SDU. As for Bob...I'd say Tim Robbins with a bit of-dare I say it-Ditka?

It'll be good for me to get there an hour or so before you to get a jump start.

I'll have a Guinness in front of me, I'm sure.

went to the parade, in front of the library at Copley.

Most poignant moment was watching Schill hoist the trophy. He looked satisfied.

Goofiest moment, Paps dancing on the Dropkick's float. Did he take a line drive off the head? Jus' wondering.

Most important moment was when the owner float stopped and the "Sign Mike Lowell chant" morphed into the "Don't sign A-Rod" chant. They smiled. We'll see.

The comments to this entry are closed.

The Soxaholix eBook Spinoff

The captivating and long awaited Soxaholix eBook spinoff is finally available!

There's No Crying in Pocket Pool

cover

Purchase at Amazon.

T-shirt

Logo t-shirts now available, several colors, even pink.

'Soxaholix logo t-shirt