At the water's edge

Doug:
Love the wins and the late inning heroics, but watching the magic numbahs is like watching a lobstah pot boil. Hurry up already.

 

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Mike:
Hey, I'm just glad to be focused on baseball again aftah the shitstorm I stirred up with Pats' fanboys ovah my "dishonor" comment.

 

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Doug:
What do you expect from those mouth breathahs who worship at the NFL altah of ritualized violence, sublimated homesexual rape, and Oedipal hostility?

 

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Mike:
What are you smoking, dude? You love football. And you're a self-professed Rethuglican, repressed homoeroticism and violence is your bread and buttah.

 

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Doug:
Ah, I love it when you libs paint with your broad brush …

 

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Doug:
But what can I say, I've got a HardOn for a chick from MoveOn who's been, you know, "nurturing" my innah pacifist.

 

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Mike:
So she has no clue you voted for Bush and continue to support the occupation of Iraq?

 

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Doug:
Are you kidding me? A Neuromancer-quoting cripple with herp lip and a case of the crabs stands a bettah chance of getting laid in this town than a Neocon.

 

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Mike:
Ah, nothing like stahting things off undah a shroud of lies and deceit, how very G.O.P. of you!

 

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Doug:
C'mon, bro, you know what they say — Politics stops at the labia's edge.

 

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Comments

[h.b.]

If I had a payroll, I'd have to put Bob on it. Bravo!

BTW, Bob, you are now fused with sriracha in my brain. Can't think of one w/o the other.

[Aaron]

To me, the fact that the characters will talk about anything under the sun is the biggest attraction. If it was about nothing but Red Sox, Red Sox, Red Sox, we'd all (except for the few Yankee regulars) end up agreeing on everything, and there's nothing more terrifying in the entire world than a group of people agreeing on everything.

[Bob]

I disagree, Aaron.

[Jason O.]

except of course if it's the pussycat dolls agreeing to have an orgy with you.

[Aaron]

A: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
B: No it isn't.
A: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
B: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
A: Yes, but that's not just saying "No it isn't."
B: Yes it is!
A: No it isn't!
B: Yes it is!
A: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.

(short pause)

B: No it isn't.

[Aaron]

Any excuse to break out the Python.

[Bob]

Heh. Sure it's not a Terry "Jelly-um?"

Or an Eric "Idle?"

[chucks]

(In best Jim Backus/Magoo voice)
While in the car on the way to Deep Ellum last night my friend and I were struck by how much Geffner's voice sounds like the late, great Backus. Of course, Magoo would have made a better pbp guy.

[Bob]

Even Natalie Schafer would be better than Geffner.

[Bob]

Chucks, did you eat at Deep Ellum, or just drink? I heard some decent things about their pub grub. (I'm a food nut/foodie/chowhound).

Ate at Flat Iron in the Bullfinch last night. It was really good. Here's my Chowhound review for ayne who gives a damn:

http://www.chowhound.com/topics/440850

[vermonter]

Yeah, or like...

"If you see my baby tell her I don't want a pickle...I just want to ride on my Hard Headed Woman!!!"

[Jason O.]

At the end of the day, you all are nervous re: this weekend with all the Houdini escape acts you've been pulling against TB this week.

That's right, I mean the great Houdini...fuck Blaine and all those other current wussies.

[Bob]

At least we pulled escape acts against TB. In their last series, the Skanks simply lost 2 out of 3 against them.

[Kaz]

Is it really an escape act if it's against the TB bullpen? At some point inevitability takes over, right? Unless you're the Yankees...then you wait until a crucial 2-2 pitch with runners aboard to screw with the Japanese guy's head by having his bat confiscated.

[Jason O.]

A fucking little leaguer could have made that play in right field...lucky as hell, bottom line.

[vasoxfan]

J.O.
You mean we should be a scared because you beat up on Toronto,KC and Seattle? But before that dropped 2 outta 3 to the aame Rays we took 2 outta three from?
Cheers.
But in all honesty as a Sox fan who remembers getting drunk over Bucky Fu--ing Dent, yes unless we are 20 games up I get nervous playing the Yanks. Thats what makes it fun.

[vasoxfan]

>>remembers getting drunk over Bucky Fu--ing Dent,

Actually I don't remember.... I was too drunk!!!!

[chucks]

Didn't eat last night (but cadged a couple malt vinegar fries). Did have a good burger there a couple weeks back, wife had some very good empanadas and the best Bloody Mary either of us have ever tasted (and we've each had many very good ones over many years). I'm more a beer geek, though, and this place is tremendous in terms of selection.

[Natalie]

//Indeed, right now they are having a discussion about that guy's scrotum nearly being cut off in the UT/OU barfight and wondering "how exactly does one's nutsack come into play during a barfight?" and also wondering "what if the nutsack was named Ditka?"//

That's hilarious, thinking of where the conversation goes AFTER the strip ends. Genius. I wish Doug and Bill worked near my water cooler.

FWIW, I thought today's strip was sublime. Doug's MoveOn girl would be shortsighted not to consider dating a Republican- sparring over politics can sometimes presage great sexual chemistry. Or so I've heard...

[soxdownunder]

//Bob, you are now fused with sriracha in my brain. Can't think of one w/o the other.//

me too

[Bob]

Gonna order a big old sausage with peppers AND ONIONS by Gate B on Saturday, and load the sucker up with serious amounts of srircha.

Just as a little appetizer for my Sunday night tailgate.

Menu:

Quail
Memphis ribs
Andouille sausage
Kobe burgers
Rack of lamb
Steaks

[Bob]

BTW, the marinade/glaze I'm putting on the lamb rack is kinda funny:

Raspberry jam blended with....

sriracha.

[Harwich Rich]

What Bob,no veal? ;)

[Bob]

Oh, God no. The veal's horrible. That's why the kitchen always tells me to push it at the end of my act.

(Actually, veal dries up really easily on the grill.)

[Bob]

BTW, Harwich, I had a line about you in the "I don't know" ditty above, but it got left on the cutting room floor:

I don't know how Harwich got so "Rich,"

I don't know why BigBri's such a bitch...

[buckner was framed]

btw, Bob- you may want to bring your own sriracha on Saturday, or go to another vendor (!). He was out of it on Monday when I was there- they were peddling some lame ass generic hot sauce instead. Not nearly as effective the next morning ;-)

[Rob in CT]

Even Natalie Schafer would be better than Geffner.

But not better than our very own Natalie, Bob.

**best Homer Simpson voice**
"Teal... ummmm, teal..."

[COD]

Excellent tunes Pudge. Who such such talent was lurking in the comments here?

And to follow up Natalie's comment. I was VP of the College Republicans, girlfriend (now my wife) was liberal. I'm just saying...

Of course, today we both lean libertarian.

[Natalie]

Rob, I have missed you! Thanks for the bona fides. I am moving to NYC within the next 2 months. I can't even register being a Sox fan in enemy territory. Where are the Sox hotspots near Gramercy? You must know by now!

[Rob in CT]

Hi, Natalie! Moving to NY? Good for you. In spite of every other homeless goober in the City wearing a ball cap with that stolen "NY" on it (the original design was usurped by the Highlanders from the NYPD) it's a pretty fun place to be.

Tough to find a Sox game unless you subscribe to a package. The only sure fire Red Sox bar I've found is up on like 88th (?) and 2nd avenue. Pat O'Brien's - duh, who saw THAT coming? The Riveria Café & Sports Bar on 4th Street I'm told is another, but I haven't made it there yet either. And there's supposed to be one up by my old Alma Mater in Morningside Heights, but, again, I haven't found time to check into it. Unfortunately in that regard, I am living down in Battery Park City right on the Hudson adjacent to the Financial District. Long way to go to watch a game on NESN when you aren't getting out of work until over-late. I've heard rumors of a place down here somewhere, but haven't really had the time to look deeper into it. Perhaps one of our erstwhile lurkers can help us both out...

People are generally pretty good. I proudly wear my "B" cap while walking the Esplanade without repercussions. Always a good sense of fun about the rivalry in the office where I work. Perhaps it's because they're looking up the standings ladder at our collective ass. Surprisingly, the locals seem much more cordial than some of the Yankee asshats I have to deal with in CT. Who'da thunk.

Anywhoo, great to have you closer to the rest of the Nation. Jeez, the idea of moving, though! I have so much sh*t, that I can't imagine having to actually move it all. Good luck with that!

Great hearing from you, Natalie. Best of luck. And pack up that teal dress nice and safe, huh? :)

[Evan]

Im a little disappointed in you Jason. "You got lucky, period". You sound like one of those loser Yankee fans that were saying that shit after the 04 ALCS. Very trollish of you.

[soxdownunder]

I know that nobody cares, and that nobody is awake, and that the Yanks are in town....

... but the Maggies have just come back from 23 points down to draw their knock out final against West Coast Eagles (in Perth, against the odds) and there will be 10 minutes extra time for the second time in the history of history.

I'll get back to you.

[Devine]

I'm with Evan...that's a very, um, bitchy, cat-fight thing to say from Jason.

Dude, Natalie, welcome to the heart of the enemy camp. There's also Professor Thom's on 2nd Ave, between 13th and 14th, which I think is pretty close to Gramercy Park.

[soxdownunder]

Good old Collingwood forever
We know how to play the game
Side by side we stand together
To uphold the Magpie name

See the barrackers are shouting
As all barrackers should!
Oh the Premiership's a cakewalk
for the good Old Collingwood.

I just wish you people understood. I've been as tense as tense for the last 3 hours. I'll take my sausage WITH ONION and sriracha.

Thanks.

[PS Mrs SDU asleep, there's noone else with whom to share. Sad, sad, sad.]

[Gravypan]

soxdownunder,

Oh I understand.

Signed,

Stateside Fellow Member of the Magpie Army

[RonF]

Devine, having had to deal with the people in my company's HQ in Conway, Arkansas I have found out that a) regularity in spelling is a northern invention, and b) "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

[pudge]

Bob :-)

Thanks for kinda words.

I did a song about the Sox once. Video too. It's a modified cover of a song by The Zambonis. The video commemorates the 27-hit performance in Yankee stadium and the song is about how the Yankees suck (was originally about the Islanders sucking).