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Still the one

Well, I'm so glad I waited until 10:30 to discovah that Kason Gabbard is to stahting pitching what Paris Hilton is to line drawing.


Hey now, could be a whole lot worse …


You be rooting for a team who lost for the sixth time in seven games and fell eight games behind in the wild-card and is betting on Scott "Walkaway Walkaway" Procter.




Jeez, aren't you little miss sunshine this morning!


Well, give me a big, solid 10 in front and, yes, I'm feeling that love.



I hate hate hate the Mariners. They are a product of our lousy school system and are to blame for low test scores.

Is there any news channel out there that ignores Paris Hilton and Rosie O'Donnell? If so, point me that way please.

Paris Skanton's release was actually featured on Sportscenter last night. WTF is up with that?

BTW, anybody else find her looks (not just her "personality") completely and utterly unappealing? As in hideous and whore-riffic?

I'd rather do Granny from the Beverly Hillbillys. Seriously. And she's dead.


What a seesaw game, but a tough loss.

Let us hope KG can bounce back.

Is it me, or do "future prospects" seem to be much more integral to important trades nowadays? Even a few years ago, I can't remember prospects being as highly regarded as they are now.

The Road to the Big Show is littered with sputtering or failed prospects. The Sox have a great one as their closer, but few make it to the Bigs and even fewer shine there.

The ONLY redeeming value Paris has is that she's been in a pretty funny South Park episode.

What's wrong Bob -- you don't go for the "Emaciated coke-whore with an nasty enormous nose" look?

It's just the guys that the Sox think are can't miss prospects. There are over 100 players in the Red Sox minor league system, and 3-5 are untouchable. I don't think prospects are any more valuable now than in the past. It might be that we just hear more about them now than we did back in the olden days pre-Internet.

OK, I get it. Roll out Gabbard, hope he bottles lightning to suck some unsuspecting team into thinking he is more ready than Lester or Bucholz. Allrighty, let's move on to Plan B. My disfavor for late night games and the demands of my pesky job rendered me unconscious after the third run was walked in by KG. And Pinero twisted his ankle on somebody's foot? And Manny needed a day off when he is going to have three in a row in just over a week's time?
4 p.m. game today. Unfortunately we'll have Poor Old Joe and Geffner for PM drive, but maybe Mothra can make it respectable. It will be Breakfast With Daisuke in Japan (miso soup, rice with nori, natto, and raw egg), so maybe he will be pumped. The Rangahs are coming to town, so hilarity may ensure.


Who knew the Mariners were so good. They are my pick to win it all. Jeff Weaver cannot be stopped.

Seriously if Manny plays that game the Sox win. Why was he on the bench?

Soxdowunder should be in the house soon! Hey SDU, don't forget to email so the gang can meet up.

This has been a crazy week for the favorites:

Angels losing to Royals (twice), Tigers losing to the Rangers (twice), Padres losing to the Giants, Yankees losing to the Orioles (about which I couldn't be happier). It happens.

Seattle's a good team. And there's nothing wrong with how the Sox are playing, notwithstanding last night's rough pitching. I might be concerned if they weren't executing on fundamentals.

Would you rather be 10 games up in the standings, or 10 games back?

The Road to the Big Show is littered with sputtering or failed prospects. The Sox have a great one as their closer, but few make it to the Bigs and even fewer shine there.

While this is true are recent success has been due to some our very own "untouchable prospects", Youk and Pedrioa. Don't forget they worked their way up. And even though I love Beckett, we could have had shortstopped locked up for 5 years if we could have just hung ont top Hanley.

Its been a nice change to see some of guys make it the top instead being traded away on bandaid veterans like in years past.

Yeah, what's with all the glum comments?

Take a lead from the characters, and cheer yourselves the fuck up already.

Did you really have a hard on for Kason Gabbard and think he was going to be anything but a AAA guy facing major league hitters?

Watching Ichiro swing wildly at that curveball outside to start the game was all "Suzy is a Headbanger".

Then...it was pure Gabbard-Gabbard-hey! Kason is a pinhead.

Where's our Lester?

/writing this from my new job..shhh

Um... sorry to interrupt still more discussion of Paris Hilton, but may I rewind to yesterday's comments section for a moment? Some of you indulged in the most hypocritically sanctimonious and self-congratulatory exercise in First Amendment piety I've seen in ages on the SCOTUS decision.

LC, the self-appointed troll patrol of the board leading the charge on people's "right to be an asshole?" Oh, please. I saw how staunchly you defended my right to be a Yankee-loving, Sox-baiting asshole on your blog. You guys positively cherish the concept of free speech, no matter how annoying -- just "not in my backyard," right?

By all means, defend the kid's right to say Bong Hits 4 Jesus at school, but God forbid that he post it on Soxaholix. Sorry to bust you first thing in the AM, but if you guys are my final line of defense against the censorious, Constitution-bending Big Brotherism of the Bush/Ashcroft/Gonzalez/Rehnquist era, we're all waist deep in the Big Muddy.

Please tell me that you're not that bereft of a sense of irony. You can run your blog like a "members only" club any time you please, but don't come crying when nine stuffed shirts in black robes decide it's time to starve THEIR trolls.

And if, instead of Bong Hits 4 Jesus, the kid's banner had read "Red Sox Suck," how impassioned a defense of his free speech would you guys have mounted? Yeah, that's what I thought.

To paraphrase HB's comment about his strip, get over it... it's just a Supreme Court decision, not RL.

Love always,

PT (aka Banned in Boston)

Thanks for the lecture, sweets.

hb, you realize that some of the surliness comes from having to stay up late to watch these things. Some of us are old farts. Day game today means good night's rest tonight.

Hugs to all, IkeG

Just busting balls.

Truth is I couldn't give a rat's ass whether any one of you happens to feeling surly or happy or if you're feeling like a woman trapped in a man's body.


So, there are many benefits to being a soxaholix. For example, (1) last night I ate excellent sushi in Chicago as a result of a recommendation from a regular 'holix correspondent - thanks Yazbread thanks to your student - we went for Ginza Fish House. Yum. (2) you can lurk, drunk, late at night around an infuriating debate about public education and whether school kids can write Jesus pinch hits for Pot or something, (3) you can be assured finding the best bars in Boston (or pretty much anywhere else) by virtue of Bob's encyclopaedic knowledge of the subject. I'll be in touch soon, Bob!

I am off to Wrigley Field shortly.

And did anyone find Proctor's failure to throw to second or first yesterday as hilarious as I did? Hey Mom look I caught the ball!!

"I don't think prospects are any more valuable now than in the past. It might be that we just hear more about them now than we did back in the olden days pre-Internet."

I agree with COD. Also in the olden days they just said ".....and a player to be named later". Wasn't that a prospect they were talking about?

Dear PT:

Respectfully, go shit in your hat.

You absolutely don't get it.

You have a right to be an asshole. Over and over and over and over again.

I have a right to point it out and if possible, metaphorically make your dick shrink.

So, thanks for coming.


Well said PT. Which reminds me, in response to a comment of mine last week, the Newton Nitwit wrote:

>"I can picture one of Batshit's relatives in whatever latin american hellhole he grew up in calling down curses because they paid big bucks ($2.95) to get to the local wateringhole with a sattlite feed for his expected start"

>>Wow... This kind of racist crap is what causes people to stereotype Red Sox fanboys as a bunch of pallid, loudmouthed, retrograde ignoramuses. By the way, Julian Tavarez was born in the same "Latin American hellhole" as David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez.

Hm, it's racist to consider a Dominican city a hell hole, but okay to call Boston a "shithole". Read "Big Papi" and tell which city you'd rather be living in... Manny's parents made their choice when he was 12.

As to calling down curses, that was obvioiusly in reference to the earlier comment in the same thread comparing a character from Major League to Willy Mo Pena.

Some Boston fans are considered ingnoramuses because they spend their energy on sanctimonious liberal kneejerk reactions to comments made in jest instead of doing anything about the very real racist xenophobia that clearly exists in Boston.

Well, y'all can't blame me for last night's loss, because I didn't attend the game in person. After witnessing six consecutive Sox losses out here dating back to last season, I thought I would give the team a break and remove myself from the premises...and they lost anyway.

Safeco has become the Sox' personal den of horrors. But if it makes you feel any better, the Mariners are actually legit. Their starters' terrible ERA will probably doom them in the end and cause them to miss the wildcard, but the bats are for real and their bullpen features multiple lights-out guys.

And most of the time, I enjoy it when they win...but not at the expense of my team. I didn't have to stay up until after the witching hour to watch the game like most of you, but I'm just as surly this morning. The mocking comments of coworkers is not helping either.

Somebody's gonna get a large mug of Green Mountain dumped over their head if they don't back off.

The boys are 4-4 on a 9 game road trip - 6 of which have been out here in the lovely, non-shithole, PST region.

We take today behind Mothra and finish on top after a brutal road trip. I think we'd all take a 5-4 record going into this stretch.

Steve in Md. Please don't agree with me. I have no idea what you're talking about. And none of these folks are nitwits by any stretch of the imagination, which is what makes it all the more exasperating... sorry for defending you, LC. I won't let it happen again.

Is it the heat making everyone (but Tara and Circle) cranky? Damn its warm out there. Thank god for the 2pm ice cream truck visit :)

Wonder if Kason now features in a Buehrle trade...

I am (with little to now rational thought behind the sentiment) feeling good about Matsuzaka tonight.

I was there. It was a really great game. If we hadn't had the piss poor first inning with the four walks, hit batter, etc... we'd of pulled it off.
The Mariners are a hitting team this year and JJ Putz is the West Coast version of Papelbon. The fans were a bit rowdier than previous years but mentioning how great Ichiro was going to look in a Sox jersey kept them quiet and contemplative.

Sonoma and Nat,

With ya, dudes. 5-4 trip would be dandy. Happy days and good times.

Nat, day game today, not night. Why don't WE get a 2pm ice cream truck?

Thanks, IkeG. Forgot the game was on at 4pm. WOOT! I'll be rockin' the EEI shortly after first pitch on my way down to a friend's pool on the South Shore...Here's hopin' it's Obie getting the call not LC's feckless favorite.

Dice-K will deliver super-atomic explosive cosmic technologic pitching performance tonight.

"I feel very fortunate to have improved to the point where I can now help my team consistently," Matsuzaka will say through an interpreter.

Nat, thanks (really), I now have "Ice Cream Man" in my head rather than the Lemmiwinks theme, which was caused by Miketc's comment earlier.

You know who called the Dominican Republic a shithole? The Nazis.


Seriously, though: Batshit grew up in a house with no fucking floor. It probably had a literal shithole, so why not make the figurative leap of calling the country a shithole or hellhole?

And thus, the cranky thread is officially over.

Much thanks, da kine.

Now, who wants to join me for a beer at Pete's to discuss, oh, I don't know...

the Red Sox?

Still stuck at his new job, Kaz whimpers at the idea of a frosty cold beer at Pete's...

...almost quittin' time!

Dang those pesky jobs.

btw, I think the game is at 435 even rthough I said 4 earlier in the day.


>Batshit grew up in a house with no fucking floor.

What did they do, hover over the abyss or hang from the ceiling?

Floor n., the inside lower horizontal surface of a room.

In many cases around the world, that's the ground.

//What did they do, hover over the abyss or hang from the ceiling?//

Well, his name is Batshit, so I'd go with the latter.

It was indeed a cave in which young Julian grew up. Mariano Rivera and his family o' fruitbats were his next door neighbors.

"...and THERE'S the gyroball! Well, more like a sinking fastball...moving down and away from a left-handed hitter."

Aw, if you're gonna call the elusive gyroball, at least stick with your convictions. Heh.

Yeah 'where's our lestah' (el molestahdor)?

How many times did we let that crap-hole Seattle pitcher off the hook???

Ahhh-ehhhh-argh. Pete's Pub was a den of profanity yesterday.

Bring those poor boys home.

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