« Now with 100% More Batshit! | Main | On eloquence »

Permanent Fixture

Mike:
Heh, so the Pheonix has named Shaughnessy "The Most Hated Man in Boston."

 

Bill:
Yeah, the "Seven things they hate about you" section is spot on.

 

Bill:
But my only complaint with the story is I think it's about 2-3 years out of date.

 

Mike:
How's that?

 

Bill:
Do people really hate Shaughnessy that much anymore? I mean who cares about him these days — the interwebs have won.

 

Bill:
Think about it: As near as I can tell the only people who are still influenced by anything the CHB writes are 1) The old schoolahs who still want to get ink on their hands when they take in the "news" and 2) the masochists who read Shaughnessy just to get their bile up.

 

Bill:
And the formah group is, well, dying, and the lattah group, while amusing, hold little sway in  today's fan world.

 

Mike:
Well, then where does that leave us? We still read and discuss him from time to time.

 

Bill:
We don't count, of course, as we have no free will and are instead guided by the omnipotent whims of our authorial mastah.

 

Mike:
Oh, right, that. Jeez.

 

Bill:
Look, for evidence of the complete shrink of the Shank consider this: He's now bettah known as the butt of a Carl Everett joke, i.e., the CHB, than he is for anything else including his now uber passe tome The Curse of the Bambino. Res ipsa loquitur, you know.

 

Mike:
True, there's a whole generation coming up who only considers Shaugnhessy in light of RSN trivia: "Who is the CHB, what does it mean, and what is the origin of the phrase?"

 

Bill:
Abolutely. And it's cosmic justice that ol' Danny Boyo is going to fade into memory forevah linked with that othah malcontent intahlopah Everett.

 

Bill:
Of course, that doesn't mean the Curly Haired Boyfriend is going anywhere soon … No, he'll still be there at the Globe thrashing out his little columns and believing he still mattahs for years to come …

 

Bill:
But like neuticals on a fixed Irish Settah, Shaughnessy will just be taking up space, empty and powerless.

 

 

Special bonus strip (filling in the hole from Wednesday last) …

Steve:
So much for Clemens only giving the Yankees not enough at the predicted 6 innings, the reality is he can't even give them a full 5.

 

Mike:
Yeah, and how 'bout this: Damon is too hurt to play the outfield so the put him at DH. Great. Then he pulls an abominal and can't swing a bat without intense pain. So put him on the DL? Ah, no, because then they'd erase Damon's career footnote of nevah having been on the disabled list.

 

Steve:
You know, that pretty much sums up the Yankees biggest philosophical weakness: They continually sacrifice the day to day nuts and bolts of winning to the altah of historical grandeur.

 

Mike:
Yeah, that explains bringing Clemens back, bringing Petitte back, keeping Jetah at short instead of A-Rod and so on.

 

Steve:
Yes, it is their Achilles' heel, this slavish relationship with historicity.

 

Comments

Bonus strip!

Yay!

Their Achilles heel is taking over their entire body, since they suck from head to toe.

Damon played a couple of innings at 1B yesterday. Farnsworth tried a pickoff attempt that Damon could not handle. Damon reminds of Buckner - he looks rather bandy-legged these days. Thank god the Sox did not sign him. The funny part of the game was a conference on the pitching mound discussing how to pitch to Lopez. The Rockie's announcers suggested that was a first for Clemens - having to even think about how to throw to the opposing pitcher.

Thanks for the bonus h.b.
The Rox/NY game was extra sweet to watch knowing Clemens gave up 4 runs in 5 innings with 2 dingers. That was nice. Those HR's were hit so hard they would have gone out almost everywhere. So don't let anyone say it was Colorado air.

Howdy from Denver! Home to YOUR COLORADO ROCKIES! Attended the game on Wednesday night. My friend invited me to sit in one of their vendors seats behind the Spankees dugout. 11th row. I could have spit a peanut shell at A-Fraud. Lots of Spankees fans and a smattering of Sox fans too. Lots of children so I had to keep my jeers relatively clean. Though I did try to get the "Who's you stripper" chant going (Thanks Bob) The few Rockies fans in our section were not cooperative though. I was about 20' away from Holiday's home run since I was walking over to visit my friends in left field. Holy Holiday batman! Was that ball hit hard! It must have bounced 4-5 times before a fan caught it. I immediately celebrated which angered a particularly surly/drunk punk Spankees fan (I had the Schilling gamer and 78 Sox cap on) He got in my face and challenged me to a fight. Unbelievable. What is this high school?

A great night especially since we knew the Sox had teed off on the Braves and our new hero BST had pitched a complete game.

I don't feel as bad about losing 2/3 to the Rox anymore.

Holy Shit, hb! Lots of frames today. Nice.

So much for the Fat Old Man saving the Skanks season. Not arrogant enough to count them out, of course (bad karma), but it sure is nice to see him looking so human. 445-foot homer. Beautiful.

Damon a non-factor. Love it.

The NY Times pointed out something I found startling, and must be disconcerting to the Yanks:

The Rockies now have more victories against the American League East than the Yankees do, with nine.<\i>

I am utterly relishing Clemen$ not getting the job done. His quotes from last night all seem to point a fat, overpaid finger at his teammates (on offense and defense):

“Even when you are not hitting, you have to play clean games and we didn’t do that the last couple of games...Five runs in three games. I would have lost a lot on that.”

Go home to Texas until your next start, team player.

Oops, sorry for the italics tag issue, all. hb- can you fix?

Great strip(s) today, H.B. I particularly like how the characters know that you're their puppet-master.

Natalie,

Love the Clemen$. If it's an original, I'd throw a TM on it as quick as possible.

Some thoughts:

1. PHB is a man? who saw that coming?
2. My cup runneth ovah with bonus material. poor sdu is in the air no doubt and will miss the richness.
3. I totally buy the "praying to the altah of posterity" argument, but you have to admit, it's a strong body of work. Problem is, winning in 1927 doesn't give you much of an edge over playahs who were born in the 1980's (see e.g. Matt Holliday).
4. Damon was bound to break down, just like my car with 200k miles. One day I am going to find it in a heap of tie rods and bolts. That's Damon. tx for '03 and '04 bro.
5. The Orioles used to matter. Now, not so much.
6. Listening to the Yanx game on XM yesterday, the Rockies' announcers were downright giddy. It was as if they had showtunes going off in their head.
7. More late nights on the West Coast.
8. Enjoy the Padres. Their park is nice, but they have shit playing on the scoreboard and the sound system constantly. It's like going to a hockey game produced by a meth addict.

go sawhx

lc

Your (characters)premise is completely flawed.

- Clemmens has pitched well in 2 out of his first three starts. Bringing him back was a good idea.

- Pettite is still great and pitching well. Bringing HIM back was a great idea. Actually he never should have left.

- Damon is hurt. And he SHOULD be on the DL (the one correct thing your characters mentioned today. And good ol' loyal Red Sox fans take the opportunity to lash out at him. Class. Pure Class.

If one MUST be a slave to history, what a wonderful history to call your master. 26 World Championships. The first champions of this century. All those Hall of Famers. How lucky we are to be Yankee fans...

I totally buy the "praying to the altah of posterity" argument, but you have to admit, it's a strong body of work.

Not the "altah of posterity" but the "altah of historical grandeur."

Yes, there's a difference. Steve isn't talking about the Yankees winning history; no, he's talking about making wrong decisions for the sake of preserving some imagined historical importance, i.e., Damon's no-DL streak or keeping Jeter at short although A-Rod was the better shortstop (and who knows how much of A-Rod's "slappiness" was the result) just because, you know, Jeter wears a single digit on his uni and has always played short.

That's the kind of thing the characters are referring to here.

I find it ironic, of course, considering the Yankees always brand themselves as being the all for one and stamp out individualism (e.g., long hair, beards, etc), kind of team, yet they go overboard to cater to the individual (see Clemens, Roger).

The Yankees, of course, are not the only ones to do this, they just seem to suffer more for it because they have such expectations.

For instance, the Orioles keeping Ripken in the lineup for the sake of breaking Gehrig's record definitely hurt the win column at times toward the end.

I'd argue the Hicks bringing back Sosa to the Rangers, the team who drafted him, so that he could get his 600th with the Rangers for the sake of "closure" or whatever gets into this territory as well.

The Red Sox could have fallen into this trap as well if they had decided to keep the '04 club whole. I'm glad they didn't.

h.b., you are correct, sir. I missed the fine distinction that you draw.

I, too, am glad that the RS did not bronze the whole '04 team and roll them out to start the next 500 games. Hence, Schill will be 38pitching elsewhere next year.

Luscious is merciless, so you have to admire that aspect of him. Now, if he could apply the same discipline to '86-ing Sweet Caroline, I'd be all for it

lc

How lucky we are to be Yankee fans...

Sounds like somebody missed the memo. Frontrunner Yankee trolls are only supposed to crawl out from under their bridges when their team is winning.

Enjoying .500, Chuckles?

l.c.,

I was going to make the same comment re Schilling and next year. And Schilling and The Bloody Sock are the heart of the Red Sox mythology, yet, he, too, will be gone next season.

lou --- Keep " '86 " out of future posts, wouldya?

Thanks Rockies. It'll be tough not to lose ground next series, playing the Padres while the second-placers play the slumping Gints. 10.5 looks a lot better than 9.5 right now.

I didn't like the CHB article. Gave him way too much credit for intentionally stirring the pot. Isn't that the general reaction of the geek that no one likes? ... "I MEANT for you to call me a douchebag, because I'm controversial".

"Tradition is the illusion of permanence."
-Woody Allen

"I am also a sick fuck for banging my adopted daughter."
-Woody Allen

Ike, apologies all around for uttering the E word.

And, I agree with your take on the article. To me, PHB's relevance is on a par with Air Supply, Dan Quayle, and Erik Estrada.

lc

Regarding 'shit playing on the scoreboard and the sound system constantly' and '86-ing Sweet Caroline'. Here is my longtime baseball fantasy. For one day - perhaps as part of a promotional gimmick - MLB pretends that it is 1900. Nothing blaring on the sound system, digital advertising turned off, and fans are allowed to watch the game and enjoy each other's good company. I think I would even ban the house organist (assuming it is a park that still has one).

Two things from the Phoenix article on CHB I didn't get a chance to get into:

1) CHB suggests that he's some sort of Woodward/Bernstein kind of journo getting to the deep dark underbelly of the Red Sox than fans don't want to hear about. OK, but the thing is CHB doesn't really do any real reporting, does he? He writes columns, off the top of his head opinion pieces. Pretty much that same as what a blogger does, w/o the press credential access to the team.

Which brings me to ...

2) He say's it doens't matter if nobody talks to him, he can still cover the story.

OK. So he has the access but can't use it, so how much of a story can he get? And, again, how is that any different than the supposed "guy in his basement" who the players don't talk to either?

In this case, all things being equal, the reader is going turn to the better writer to get that dose of op-ed on the team. Often, the guy in the basement is
the better writer.


CHB is a douchebag. He hates the Red Sox and, most likely, kicks dogs when people aren't looking.

Right, hb, and the proper temperament and attitude can combine traditional media access and blogging into a dominant package, e.g., Rob Bradford and Peter Abraham.

Bradford is the anti-neutical

Yeah, that is what is so cool about Bradford being out there now. We now have someone to point to as a good example.

Fantastic article about CHB, but it is missing a huge point. We all remember Ted coming out for the 1999 all-star game with his "hitter.net" hat and shirt - immortalized for all of time with the logo of his son's failed company instead of a red sox hat. The next day, CHB didn't say a peep about it. When he was pressed about why he didn't write about it, he actually admitted that he didn't want to jeopardize his ability to have access to Ted, so he didn't say anything.

If you're going to make your career being a cheap-shot artist, at least be an equal opportunity cheap shot artist. It was the ultimate act of self-serving hypocracy.

Let's read two! I love Double Strippahs!

Thanks H.B.!

PJ

Very tired, but made it to Southern Cal. And here's what was waiting for me:
http://picasaweb.google.com.au/soxdownunder/Kintees/photo#5078993731158828146

Thanks da kine especially for nice note and bonus Coco!!

Heading south to San Diego to make trouble; not sure what to wear!

Oh thank God the weekend is nearly here. The week after a vacation is truly hell.

Anyway, have a good one, all. If anybody is interested, I'll be at Pete's Pub from 12:30-1:30 Saturday before heading over to the BBQ thingy at City Hall.

Yes, SDU, another bar reference. Then again, I'll bet dollars to Vegamite you're drunk and unconscious on a plane right now. :)

Wow, weird. There he is. And he seems coherent.

Welcome, SDU.

BTW, I recommend wearing bermuda shorts and black dress shoes with matching socks. They're all the rage in SoCal these days

SDU, I'm glad the shirts found their way to you. USPS tracking is shit, so we had to call the concierge to make sure they arrived and weren't stolen by some hateful Padres fan. Rock them with pride!

Pics of the game at Pet Co:
http://picasaweb.google.com.au/soxdownunder/SoxVPadres6June

Both pitchers were great with Mothra sublime with men on base. Over 20 pitches in the first innings and his fast ball then heated up in the 5th & 6th innings. It is a silly ballpark - eg instead of a visitors bullpen it has a beach! But a fun atmosphers and Padres fans welcoming of the amazing influx of the alleged nation.

OK, I guess it has to be me. Forgive it, guys, but I was living on the other side of the earth (well, SoCal, NYC, London) during the Carl Everett era and don't know the original story of how Shaughnessy acquired the CHB sobriquet. I've loathed his stuff ever since I came back to NE after 25 years in the Outer Darkness, so I'll be glad to hear the lowdown. Please enlighten.

BlueStater - some time ago, I asked the same question or, at least answered it erroneously (I thought it meant Curly Haired Bastard) and was corrected. Apparently Carl Everett said to another Globe journalist (Eades??) something to the effect of 'you and your "Curly Haired Boyfriend" can get out of the clubhouse'. Something like that anyway - I'm sure someone lurking around this creepy place will get it just right.

That's 'bastard' as in the famous line from Australian cricket history:

'Which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?'


Okay...just off the press from AP...

"A Chicago Sun-Times story Sunday said the White Sox could be on the verge of trading left-hander Mark Buehrle, who can become a free agent after this season. According to the report, the Boston Red Sox are the most serious suitors right now."

Aside from Loogie and Coco, would be interesting to hear from the Hot Stove Leaguers who might be on the rack for this one...it seems that Buerhle would be pretty serious $ or personnel...

How the hell did the dreadful Giants win 2 of 3? (Not complaining, mind you.)

Toronto's back in second place.

Heh.

Maybe I should make it BlueStatah. Anyway, thanks, soxdownunder, for enlightening me about the situational history of CHB.

The comments to this entry are closed.

The Soxaholix eBook Spinoff

The captivating and long awaited Soxaholix eBook spinoff is finally available!

There's No Crying in Pocket Pool

cover

Purchase at Amazon.

T-shirt

Logo t-shirts now available, several colors, even pink.

'Soxaholix logo t-shirt

Ticket America

Ticketamerica.com has Boston Red Sox and Texas Rangers tickets. Buy Cubs and Cardinals baseball. View Patriots, Ravens and Giants schedules online for Boston.