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Burnt out

Lisa the Temp:
Oh, what's the matter, feeling a little West Coast hangover?

 

Lisa the Temp:
Perhaps a few too many G.I.D.P. shots for your tired soxaholix livers to process?

 

Lisa the Temp:
No fear, peeps, let Lisa put a smile in that cotton mouth this morning with a little joke …

 

Lisa the Temp:
Q: How many Red Sox fans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Yankees Suck!

 

Comments

Yankeeeeess Suuuuuuuck!

What day is it?
Help me out here...
Anyhow, make you own post...


Lisa
Suck
Troll
Lennie F'ing Denardo
Marathon
Sprint


lc

Eh, I'd be worried if we were pitching poorly. The bats will come alive.

Despite the walks last night (and btw what's up with boston.com abbreviated walks W not BB? For the pink hat crowd?), anyone else really over the Wily Mo era?

Ugh.

Since they are on the West Coast, how about some lyrics from the Lizard King while also paying homage to our oft-cited movie?

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Let's get out of Oakland alive.

Is it my imagination or is Youks turning into Wade Boggs and never swinging at the first pitch? It seems like so many first pitches are grooved right down the middle of the plate to him and he never, ever swings. Might just be my imagination combined with a limited number of observations.

Lenny DiNardo?

Jesis H. Ortiz, all he ever did with the Sox was provide Bronson with wingman help.

"anyone else really over the Wily Mo era?"

Wait a minute, when Coco Crisp and Julio Lugo are below REPLACEMENT level, JD Drew is batting .224, and none of our starters have had 2 good starts consecutively, you're blaming the guy who hit a homer and the tying single in Monday's game? Am I reading this correctly?

I'm still exhausted from staying up all night, so I assume I misread this, right?

Lisa's joke hit the spot.

I'm struggling with this "we're good, not great...yet" feeling since the Detroit/Cleveland series'. If the pitching stays solid and Ortiz-Manny-Youk are healthy, it should be a fun summer.

I wish they would just haul off and have a couple 14-0, 10-1, 12-0 wins to get the mojo back.

Not blaming Wily Mo at all, Sean O, just musing in general that I am not a huge fan of the trade for him, and never have been---despite his recent successes and the ability to hit the ball a country mile once in a blue moon. My comment should be read as a non-sequitor in regards to last night's game...

HB -

You made me laugh.

signed,

A Yankee fan

Lenny DiNardo?

My thoughts exactly.

Come on now, guys. I realize there is a tendency to put it on cruise control when you're this far ahead, but fer chrissakes, it's only June. Mash that pedal back down to the floorboards!

Ah well, interleague's just around the corner. Rip off another 16-2 run like last year, and the division race is ovah, regardless of what the Yankees do or don't do.

I laughed harder at Lisa's stupid joke than have in days. And I'm not nearly as tired as most of you guys.

I envision Lisa aggressively ripping open her jacket as in the famous scene with Demi Moore in "Striptease."

It's amazing how funny you can be when you're no longer in the dark ages technologically speaking!

I'm wondering if those two firefighters tried a similar joke in order to lighten up the road rage moment...

PJ

Can I just say A's fans are about as obnoxious as Skankee fans?? I was at the game last night (live in S.F and still root for the Sox, moved out here 2 yrs ago..but I digress) and of course they run their mouths off! Too bad most of the seats were filled with Sox fans!!
It was a tough game to sit through..not one point made. But oh well, we are still 9 games ahead and if we are playing like this by late June, then we should be worried. (Ok, I'm an optimistic fan lol, CA does that to you =)

Worse part about last night was sitting in front of some guy that had just enough knowledge to ramble on for 7 innings to his moron of a friend about Mothra, Lugo, Sox history and why the Sox do this or that or trade for X player. I hate those friggin guys - shut up and watch.

Would have rather listened to Geffner read flash cards.

Anchor Steam good - getting two hit by DiNAAArdo bad.

Going to be about 60 and windy at game time again tonight - I sure hope Wake shakes it off

Told my boss, a Dodger fan & Yankee Hater, Lisa's joke. He loved it. A little while later he walked by my desk and said:

Him - Knock Knock
Me - Who's there?
Him - YANKEES SUCK!!!

Heh. The joke structure can be adapted to almost any style.

"A rabbi, a priest and a horse walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "Yankees suck!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? because the Yankees suck!"

"Would have rather listened to Geffner read flash cards."

Sono...say it ain't so.

My sons and I have a terms for those chatty fans. They are known in the lc family as "a talking scoreboard"

Worse yet are the guys (sorry, gender specific comment coming up) who are there on a date with a female who doesn't know too much about the game. The guy then feels compelled to explain the rules of the game in a running commentary (along the lines of "it takes 4 balls to get a walk" or "there is no limit to foul balls on strike two")


Now a joke,

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?

Ans: Yankees Suck!!!


That's better than the original answer, namely, "The Hide and Seek Champion of 1997"

lc

Love the application of the punch line to various joke styles.

Going back to the light bulb joke, I was playing around first with this format this morning:

Q: How many members of a (given demographic group) does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 'N+1 (where N is a positive whole number)' — one to hold the lightbulb and N to behave in a fashion generally associated with a negative stereotype of that group.

Such that...

Q: How many Red Fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: 10

One to tell us "the lightbulb wouldn't have burned out if Francona has managed the light switch better."

One to tell us "Theo sucks for not trading the incandescent to a more efficient fluorescent." (That one is for Paddy!)

One to say "See, I knew that was going to happen."

One to say, "One bulb? Wait til all the others burn out at the same time!"

And so on, but I ran out of time and couldn't figure out when to stop.

Feel free to add your own lines to the "N+1" format.

"They are known in the lc family as "a talking scoreboard""

Not only was this douchebag "a talking scoreboard" but he also thought he was an incarnation of Gammo...really was more like a cross b/t Steve Phillips and Joe Morgan

How about:

One to tell us "the Japanese bulb isn't as bright as everyone said it would be; I told you we paid way too much without knowing if it would be able to handle the US electrical current."

One to tell us: "See, they traded for that bulb because it is brighter at night than day and does better inside than outside and is turned on better by lefties"

Last one thrown in to steer repeats back to Lisa

There's an old joke about my profession (famously egomaniacal, stubborn and unwilling to accept client mandates).

How many copywriters does it take to change a lightbulb?

"I'm not changing anything!"

Q. How many feminist does it take?

A. One. And its NOT funny.

Sorry, really, I'm sorry. I'll crawl back under my rock now. Fucking double plays.

Under your Ayers Rock? :)

You must be eagerly counting down the days, SDU. The Baseball Tavern awaits...


I would type in an Aristocrats joke with the Stankees as the punchline, but it doesn't really translate into text.

Bob - 15 sleeps 'til Petco Park, fish tacos and an unlikely left handed catch in the bleachers, 22 sleeps 'til the greenest green ...

aside to sdu-
sorry to take a couple days to get back to you, but, yes- I am ALWAYS up for a lil liquid refreshment at the Park. I'll be there for the 7/4 game. Hope you will be too

bewdy mate!

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