Bring out the paw of a dead monkey

Doug:
Last night I had this recurring dream that I couldn't sleep. That is, the dream itself consisted of me tossing and turning in bed, totally insomniac.

 

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Doug:
So then when I woke up I couldn't tell if I was well-rested or exhausted.

 

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Bill:
Let me guess, you watched that Red Sox game last night? That's enough to give anyone effed up dreams.

 

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Doug:
Seriously, it's like going to bed after gorging yourself on chicken vindaloo at the late night Indian buffet.

 

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Bill:
I feel like I'm going to rupshah my right nut from frustration ovah these guys — 1 for 13 with runners in scoring position and to two runs or fewer for the seventh time in the last nine games? What the hell?

 

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Doug:
A 14½ game lead now down to 7½ with nothing but wishful thinking on our pahts to foresee a reversal of fortunes.

 

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Bill:
What the frig was Theo thinking? Drew is offensively useless. Crisp? Useless. Lugo? OMFG as useless at tits on a bull as Granny Callaghan used to say.

 

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Doug:
If nothing else, it's time to Free Wily fercrissakes. Play him or trade but puhleeze do something othah than just waste his potential by sitting him on the bench.

 

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Bill:
Absolutely. At this point, I don't care how abysmal his defense is. A miraculous highlight-worthy diving catch isn't going to make much difference when you're getting blown out like an enema, 7-1, 12-2, by other clubs because the Sox bats are anesthetized.

 

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Doug:
So here's to hoping Batshit Tavarez is the talisman that tonight stirs up the return of the Red Sox we were watching in May.

 

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Comments

[Youk Rules]

Caramba!

[jamesfrmmaine]

Seriously? WMP? That guy can't hit a fucking curveball and he sucks in the outfield.

Seriously though, he can't hit breaking balls.

[buckner was framed]

any team that has WiMP as its starting CF is.... the Cincinnati Reds. We're not quite there yet. Are we?

[Belushi]

Me and the killer bees are going to descend on fenway and sting lugos johnson.

[h.b.]

The characters are frustrated and are going reactionary.

This is to be expected considering the circumstances.

[Ghengis Ortiz]

Let's face the fact: the Sox are good, not great. May was a nice month but it's long over. The boys gotta focus a little and get the road on the show.

The drama is always more gripping when the arch-enemy can be seen in the rear view mirror, and closing...and the nectar all the more sweet when we kick their asses in September and send Granpa Clemens and his two-toed progeny back to Appalacia...

Good will prevail over Evil, but never without a fight.

"Non coronabitur nisi legitime certaverit"
"There is no legitimate victory without a battle"

[h.b.]

The thing that has me feeling down is the Sox are now squandering the lead they built up while everyone is stil healthy.

Meanwhile, remember what happened last August when injury after injury decimated the club?

There will be injuries this year and they will occur to at least some of the pitchers.

Would have been nice to weather that storm with a big lead.

Now, who knows?

[jamesfrmmaine]

"Would have been nice to weather that storm with a big lead."

Not to sound too complacent but I can't remember a season when 71/2 on the yanks wasn't considered a big lead.

Now on the other hand I agree that we shouldn't just keep on keeping on like we have... but its baseball its a long season. I think crisp and lugo will even out at .250 or so and drew will get back up around .290 with a lot of hr. If we stay healthy this crap will pass.

Don't forget when Tek was slumping hard and some people thought it might time to bring up kottaras or whatever the hell his name is. If we stay healthy were fine. I think they have a chance to sweep the braves this week(Im going to all three games!) As we should have the top of the rotation facing a braves team that has been struggling as of late.

[h.b.]

Actually, my real doom and gloom scenario STILL has the Red Sox winning the AL East.

But I'll spare you the details of my sick, neurotic thoughts beyond that...

[PJ]

"The characters are frustrated and are going reactionary.

This is to be expected considering the circumstances."

Obviously times are tough when a journeyman hurler named for bat guano and his perceived insanity hopefully becomes a "talisman" and comparisons to the Reds are made...

Isn't this a first place team?

Only in the "shithole"...

heh

Cue David Byrne "Same as it ever was..." loop.

[Scott]

I hate to overreact since it is still only June, but subsequent beatings at the hands of the Rockies is way too much to take. The Rockies are not built to win anything. The Monforts trade away talent that they have developed (Jason Jennings) and have a strict budget when it comes to payroll. Not because they are poor and don't have the cash, but because they want to make money on the team which they do because of revenue sharing. To lose to this team that won't even win the awful NL West is a disgrace. Theo should issue an apology to the fans and tender his resignation. WTF was he thinking about? Crisp, Lugo, Drew?? OC should be our SS. Drew should have never been signed. Theo must have been preoccupied with that average looking girl he just married.

[Scott]

I guess this is the reason JD hasn't been effective this season. Her movie is out...

http://nancydrewmovie.warnerbros.com/

[Youk Rules]

Don't worry...every team is going to slump. The Yanks just aren't that good this year. All it takes is a sweep either way and we're looking at a comfortable double-digit lead.

The Yanks can't keep winning forever...

[Natalie]

I had tix for last night's game and couldn't go due to a work crisis. Thank god, as it turns out. I slept like a baby. The wrenching of my gut didn't happen until this morning.

"Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come."

[birthofasoxfan97]

what a sucky way to fritter and waste the lead in an offhand way...

[jdog71]

Thanks Youk...the voice of reason. I'm surprised (but not terribly) that some of us are calling for Theo's head..EVERYBODY PANIC!! They're 13-12 in their last 25, not 5-20. The beginning of this season was incredible, but it was unsustainable.

They'll snap out of this, the Spankees will start losing again, and we're still 7 1/2 in front with 90-something games left. We have better pitching and depth in the pen, and that is what will matter later in the season.

This whole malaise started with the Sunday night Yanks game (ended around 1 if I recall correctly) then the travel to the west coast the next day, then facing two of the best pitching staffs in baseball. They're overthinking the game right now. They're 'squeezing the stick' to use hockey terms. Things will settle down and they'll get back into their groove. Deep breaths...

[birthofasoxfan97]

heh heh...squeezing the stick. Nice.

[Free-B]

I hate the f-ing June Swoon. As inevitable as the tides..

[CuracaoSox]

JD doesn't worry me all that much. Lugo and Coco Crap on the other hand... I wouldn't mind seeing WMP play a couple of games.

[Steve in MD]

Correct me if I'm wrong (and I apologize is someone already said this and I missed it) but didn't this whole swoon start with Tito eff'ed up the starting rotation to push back Batshit and start "0 & 6 versus the Yankees" Timmy Wakefield? For some reason Jobu got really pissed off at that and made the bats sick - I can picture one of Batshit's relatives in whatever latin american hellhole he grew up in calling down curses because they paid big bucks ($2.95) to get to the local wateringhole with a sattlite feed for his expected start against the MFY, only to see Wake get blasted. What the hell was Tito thinking - the MFY have seen Wake way to often.

sml

[Sonoma Sox]

Can we just steal Mr. Roberts back this weekend - don't think the Giants will notice - except that they need someone to cover 2/3 of the outfield

[jamesfrmmaine]

"Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come."

Best. Baseball. Quote. Ever.

[Sean O]

How long will Crisp have to fail for people to figure it out? he is below replacement level, and his defense, unless he learns to fly, can never make up for a .270 OBP.

Red Sox fans were supposed to be able to understand things like numbers and logic, so why are people still defending Crisp? No one with a .270 OBP has ever helped out his team, nuf ced.

[h.b.]

If it were just Crisp, it'd be more tolerable.

A lineup can handle a couple weak hitters if they are insulated.

But when you add in Lugo and Drew and combine that with Manny still not "being Manny" yet etc., you just can't win games that way.

I think the verdict is in on Lugo on Crisp -- They are where they are and will not get better, only the same or worse.

Drew maybe still has potential for upswing.

But to continue with Lugo and Crisp is going to hurt.

[ParkerStPete]

I'm a bit more worried about Wily Mo Mentum... than WiMP.

[Youk Rules]

"Hats for bats, keep bats warm."

[NewtonNephew]

"I can picture one of Batshit's relatives in whatever latin american hellhole he grew up in calling down curses because they paid big bucks ($2.95) to get to the local wateringhole with a sattlite feed for his expected start"

Wow... This kind of racist crap is what causes people to stereotype Red Sox fanboys as a bunch of pallid, loudmouthed, retrograde ignoramuses. By the way, Julian Tavarez was born in the same "Latin American hellhole" as David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez.

[jamesfrmmaine]

Whahs a ignoahhmoose?

[jamesfrmmaine]

What am I doing posting at 422 when I could be out the door???

Go Tavarez, Go DR and GO SOX!

[soxdownunder]

No Bob, no Lou, no Rob in Ct, no Buckner was, no Kaz, no Paddy24, no Jason O, no Tessie. A rain falls in Sydney for what seems like weeks without relent. The wind howls. 14.5 becomes 7.5 in, what, 2 weeks? A crowd flowed over London Bridge, so many - I had not thought death had undone so many.

But listen to the guy with the Monkey's Paw
And I said whaaaaaat?

[soxdownunder]

Oh, there's Buckner, right at the top!

[jen in HI]

Good work, monkey paw.

[PJ]

Time for some more snake oil for Batshit!

heh

[soxdownunder]

Great outing by Matsuzaka San.

Happy Bloomsday everybody.

[paddy24]

Paddy, I mean H.B. - glad you are finally coming to your senses. This is a rewind of last year, only far worse. I'm afraid Kaz may never rebound from the impending collapse. If only Abreu didn't make that catch on Pedroia, things might have turned out differently. Oh well, maybe next year Theo can trade for Royce Clayton.

[Angry Sam]

WMP needs to do the much-vaunted Manny workout: hours of cage time with the pitching machine to slider low and away.

Unless he's already doing that, in which case we need to ship him back to the NL where mistake hitters make all-stars.