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Heavy on the mustard

Doug:
Cancel the forensic scientists, l'affaire de la chaussette has been resolved.

 

Arturo, the hot dog vendor:
What amuses me most about the call for DNA testing and to some extent Schilling's own terse response is that it wouldn't necessarily prove anything.

 

Arturo, the hot dog vendor:
I mean why would Schilling use paint instead of his own blood if he were to fake it?

 


Doug:
So are you ready for another weekend sweep, Arturo?

 

Arturo, the hot dog vendor:
Beware the reverse sweep is what I'm thinking.

 

Doug:
Jeez, who put the sour in your kraut? The Sox are rolling.

 

Arturo, the hot dog vendor:
You're still too wet behind the ears to get it: The Yankees are not going to drop numbahs 7, 8, and 9 in a row. It just doesn't happen.

 

Doug:
OK, so they are facing Batshit Tavarez in this series, 2 out of 3 then for us.

 

Arturo, the hot dog vendor:
I'm thinking if we get out of there with 1 we'll be lucky. Wakefield has been very effective against the Yankees, Aaron Boone notwithstanding.

 

Doug:
What, no love for Matsuzaka?

 

Arturo, the hot dog vendor:
To me it looked like the Yankees had a good read on him last week, now facing him for the second time 5 days latah? Tonight could get really ugly really fast.

 

Doug:
Jeez, it's bad enough I'm going to ingest mystery meat products stuffed into a synthetic collagen casing, but I've got to take your doom and gloom, too? Jeez.

 

Arturo, the hot dog vendor:
Hey, you can always go visit the fish taco guy instead. No one's got a gun to your head.

 

Comments

What no love for Cerrano for the grand slam last night? I think Arturo has it all wrong... good read bad read, I think Dice-k's first outing against the yanks he just didnt have great stuff. He's human. Tonight he will be much better.

I believe in the after game interview on Sunday Matsuzaka said that he has not had his good stuff in any game this season.

Tonight would be a great time to get dialed in. A 3 hit 12 K complete game would be about perfect.

I would like to think this is where the Sox put the knife in the heart of the beast, but it never works that way. I am solidly in Arturo's camp - the Sox take one of three. One would like to think that Mothra is further along the learning curve since he has seen the hitters before, but who knows, maybe they all look the same to him.

I believe in the after game interview on Sunday Matsuzaka said that he has not had his good stuff in any game this season.

That's funny, Julian Tavarez said the same thing about his own starts!

Last night on the NESN post-game interview with Willy Mo, I almost thought he was going to say, "Bats are better!"* BTW, he is enormous, if this baseball thing does not work out, how about a spot on the Pats.

*context...I have not been able to get his quote out of my head for days: "Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid."

"Fuck you, Jobu, I do it myself! [aside] As long as the Orioles' hapless closer leaves it hanging in the wheel house."

I can never understand your hatred of fish tacos, H.B. I went to college at LMU (that's Loyola Marymount to you heathens) in Los Angeles, and made frequent visits to San Felipe on the Baja (birthplace of my beloved fish tacos). Fish tacos aren't just a good thing, they're a great thing. The food equivalant to a 17-K game (a Rocket 20-K game is like an 8-course tasting menu at Daniel).

Anyway, did Wily Mo look like he lost his virginity rounding the bases last night? My buddy Robert said, "he looks like I did after my first time."

I think we can all relate.

//I believe in the after game interview on Sunday Matsuzaka said that he has not had his good stuff in any game this season.

That's funny, Julian Tavarez said the same thing about his own starts!//

The difference is Matsuzaka actually has good stuff!

Maybe he could name his bat Ditka

I'm with the tubesteak. He's Ultraman, but it's his first year in MLB. His fist game in Yankees Stadium. Hey, maybe even his first trip to New York. He's already taking pitching advice from BST.

Maybe he'll get in the groove, but I say it's Beckett redux. We should consider it a victory if he gets through the season with 200 innings and doesn't get sick from the food. He'll be at the top of the rotation next year as part of the best one-two punch in baseball.

I can never understand your hatred of fish tacos, H.B. I went to college at LMU (that's Loyola Marymount to you heathens) in Los Angeles

Bob, Bob, Bob... you're not making me do this are you? Really?

OK then...

Doug hates fish tacos. Doug is a fictional character and does not represent my views in toto. Nor do any of the other characters.

Did they not require a class basic rhetoric, an English101 or something at LMU as a gen ed requirement?

But, OK, Bob, let's just assume you really meant to say that you can't understand why Doug hates fish tacos, right?

And, well, if you take the link in the final panel that leads to a strip where he explains it.


The difference is Matsuzaka actually has good stuff!

So were are told. So we are told.

[Disclaimer: The line above is my POV. Some of the characters do in fact believe Matsuzaka is the second coming. I remain agnostic. Just want to be clear that me and the characters often diverge. It's creepy isn't it?]

I am pretty sure the characters have a certain amount of love for the fish taco. Or at least, that's what Lisa tells me.

Fingers crossed that the rain lets up in NYC. I have been looking forward to another Fri night Sox-Yanks game all week...

Jeez, H.B., I can understand you sending me to a corner in the back of the class, but did you have to put a dunce cap on me too?

(BTW, I am laughing so hard people are staring. But that may be because of the goiter.)

1. I ♥ fish tacos
2. I ♥ WiMP making contact every 5th day.
3. It hurts me when hb tells me the characters aren't real.


lc

Bob,

Was especially hard on you because I know you're a wicked smart guy and a cunning linguist as well.

The bar is higher for you, consequently.

:)

It's okay, H.B. If I give it out, I have to take it, too.

It's just that this strip is so damn good, the characters come to life.

In fact, I have a date with Lisa tonight.

When I read the headline in the article linked below, my first thought was CHB. Sadly, it wasn't.

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/360761,CST-SPT-trans27.article

Nat, I hope you're not implying that Lisa has some hygiene deficiencies, cuz lc might just have to open up a can of whoop ass on your own bad teal self

So I clicked back on 'Jellylegs' to read the historical text regarding fish tacos. Such a prescient strip! Arturo and Doug drooling over Coco, Delcarmen, and Hansen during preseason. I bet the tacos were also filled with something other than tofu or meat.

Would never, Bob. I was merely implying that Lisa may have some firsthand knowledge of the other characters' fish taco consumption habits as well as their, um, prowess at said consumption.

Oops, meant buckner, not Bob.

I thought Nat was saying that Lisa enjoyed cunnilingus with other women.

lc

Circle?

Slooooow loading again, H.B.

Well now, lc, may be. I did not specify the gender of the characters of whom she has this knowledge. Circle definitely strikes me as the type who "experimented" in college. Tara, now she's a cypher, love for 'Teks glutes aside.

You've always got to watch out for those quiet types, though... and, now that you mention it, lc, it's always Doug going for the tube steak and never any of the ladies... hmmmm

You folks are awfully pessimistic, considering we are going on the road to play a last place team tied for the second fewest wins in all of baseball...

(Boy, I love saying that!)

BTW, I went to last night's game in Baltimore, and Willy Mo's homer was simply majestic. There was an O's fan three seats away barking at me the whole game. Funny, when I turned to him just after Willy Mo's shot landed 430 feet away, he was nowhere to be found.

h.b., are you familiar with Larry Niven's famous quote regarding folks who mistage the views of a character with those of the author?

Schilling makes a $1m bet re the sock?

John Gutfreund in Liar's Poker, anyone?

//h.b., are you familiar with Larry Niven's famous quote regarding folks who mistage the views of a character with those of the author?//

Yeah. "Bob's an idiot."

But then Larry and I had drinks in Cannes.

/But then Larry and I had drinks in Cannes./

Man, I'm greener than Wally right now. He's my very favorite living author.

Steve, it's funny, but this ad biz does have a few perks. Like going to Cannes for the ad festival every once in a while.

Actually won there once.

Larry threw his drink on Lisa though, in '98, so we haven't spoken since.

/Larry threw his drink on Lisa though, in '98, so we haven't spoken since./

You see, this is why I avoid any and all info on the personal lives of celebrities I like. It is all so often disappointing - like who can enjoy a Naked Gun movie now? (Funny, I almost typed in Lethal Weapon accidently - a Frudeian slip?)

I'm heading out for fish tacos-anybody want anything? :)

Harwich: El Pelon? The new Oringer place on Lansdowne where the Tiki Bar used to be?

Or all the way the San Felipe?

Any of the three are acceptable. I'll have 4 fish tacos, please. Extra hot sauce and pickled cabbage.

Wait a minute, where's NV in SD?

He could ship us great fish tacos from Rubio's, Fins, South Beach...they're all great. Or used to be in my day in that neck of the woods in Southern California.

NV?

Went out to eat this week, they had fish tacos.......I went with chicken. Really want to try but I can't get myself to ask a waitress for four fish tacos with a straight face. I think I need to grow up.

You know what? Cafe Press sucks ass.

I ordered three "Let Jim In" shirts and got one.

I ordered 1 XL Solxaholic T and got a medium.

Now I'll have to spend hours trying to fix this, instead of wasting my time here.

Sorry. I'm frustrated. Obviously not very busy, but frustrated.

Bob - I was wondering about NV, too...he's gone sailing, I guess. We have great fish tacos at Gueros.

Too bad about your Soxaholix shirt. Whenever I wear mine out, I always get questions and comments, which is pretty fun. (It is fading pretty bad, tho.)

11-4.

7 in a row.

Only bright spot for the Bombers - DoorMat didn't win it, the Bronx Bullpen lost it.

...except for the fact that Daisuke got the win because he gave up less runs in the bottom of the fourth than Pettite did in the top of the third and fifth.

Did you check reality at the door?

The bullpen just added onto the loss, but the starters both figured in the decision. If not for the free bases in the fourth, the oh-so-vaunted _healthy_ Yankee lineup woulda crapped out last night.

It'll be nice to see Matsuzaka hold his control from start to finish next time, but I'm still happy with the majority of his game last night.

Yeah, and even in the fourth, when Mothra lost some control, the 'oh-so-vaunted' ones didn't exactly hit him hard. Johnny's hit to right was a good example - he just reached out and got enough of it. I'm pretty happy with the way Mothra is going - he's fun to watch cos he uses so much off speed stuff and his heater is pretty good too. And we'll win most games whether the other team scores 4 runs.

And again a solid 8th inning from Okajima but I'll spare you the haiku.

Timmy tomorrow. Get some sleep Kaz!

How much confidence does a team have if they're only down 2 runs versus 7?

Stop apologizing for the DoorMat. 2 of his 3 wins are gifts from the Yankees & you know it.

You should get some sleep too, Anonymous!

Trust me, I know a dead ass team when I see one.

;)

PJ

how much confidence does someone have in their comments (and team?) when they don't even have the balls to use a real name or email address?

Down by 7??

They were down by less than 4 runs for 4 innings and didn't get it done. It was Henn from the bullpen that kept them in it for those four innings. They weren't down by 7 and losing all that confidence they were saving away until the bottom of the ninth (and really, how much confidence can you have in Mintky, Melky, Jeter and Abreau right now?).

Keep focusing on the bullpen though. It's funny. Every one of them over worked and under appreciated.

Innings pitched (21 games):

NYY starters (9 pitchers): 105
NYY bullpen (9 pitchers): 83

Yeah, that's all the bullpen's fault...

If it weren't for A-Rod, the NYY would be around 5-16 on the season. He single-handedly makes the teams batting look respectable. Subtract his numbers from the team stats and the NYY start to look like OAK. Add to that the bad starting pitching (which makes NYY look like KC) and you have a recipe for a train wreck. But the batting alone has been well below prediction so far for everyone except A-Rod.

Well, the Yankees did lose #s 7 and 8, so...

Also, R.I.P. Josh Hancock.

Look at your calendars, kids, ratchet down the testosterone a little and go visit the fish taco guy. As CSNY said, "We have all been here before." The wisdom of Arturo will be proven in September --"beware the reverse sweep." Thunder has spoken.

what the thunder really said:

my friend, blood shaking my heart
the awful daring of a moment's surrender
which an age of prudence can never retract.

By this, and this only, we have existed.

TWL, TSE

good point though.

As the thunder recalls from his misspent youth, the actual words were "my friend, my friend, beating in my heart," subsequently edited by the notoriously fascist, homophobic and self-important Pound. The thunder ALSO said, "Turning and turning in the widening gyre, Vick cannot hear the falconer. Things fall apart, the centre cannot hold, the ball is fumbled and the blood dimmed tide is loosed." The point to remember, kids, is that your ceremony of innocence will soon be drowned and the rough beast slouching towards Boston must surely be wearing pinstripes. Again, The Thunder has spoken.

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