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That opener in KC can't come soon enough

Mike:
This is the paht of Spring Training I can't stand.

 

Doug:
Yeah, the final days before the games count for reals is a total drag.

 

Mike:
The only news is who is getting sent down for additional seasoning, like Hansen going to Triple-A Pawtucket.

 

Doug:
Christ, I wish America would send Sanjaya back to Single-A Greenville. The dude is a wreck.

 

Mike:
Actually, I think Sanjaya should be the next American Idol

 

Doug:
WTF?

 

Mike:
Look. He can't sing, he's kinda weird, but it's what the country needs right now.

 

Mike:
Is America ready to embrace a black president?

 

Doug:
Yes, yes it is!

 

Mike:
Is America ready to embrace a woman president?

 

Doug:
Si, si se puede!

 

Mike:
Is America ready to embrace an Indian-American transsexual teenagah who can't sing for shit as its pop icon?

 

Doug:
You bet your sweet asses it is!

 

Mike:
Our nation needs to heal.

 

Comments

Word!

America has embraced teenagers who can't sing for shit for decades. Maybe even centuries (I hear the pilgrims were all big fans of Timber Lake, the 15-year-old Indian singer).

But Gwen Stefani looked damn good last night. Somewhere in India there is a call center with thousands of people speed dialing that kids number. It's the only reasonable explanation.

Bob, don't fuck with the JT.

Re Gwenny Gwenny Gwen Gwen, wow, she has so many looks.

I loved the quasi 50's Mount Holyoke student look she had going on last night.

H.B., I guess in some ways you're right. JT at least has good pipes. (Don't get me started on lyrics and phrasing though).

Any dude who rolls with Scarlett J and Jessica Biel in the same effin week, has his "phrasing" just fine, methinks.

With his money, I suspect his phrasing to beautiful women is limited to "get in the car."

I saw in the Inside Track that he had to be carried out of Saint by his bodyguards a couple of nights ago.

I wish I had bodyguards. That'd be cool.


Here's my problem w/AI last night. Why weren't they singing Gwen/No Doubt songs? I think they let the belters off the hook w/the Donna Summer songs. Wasn't easy for the dudes to sing Ms Ross,so fair is fair. Although I think Big Chris is gonna butcher anything....that Every Little Thing was brutal

Gwen = smokin'

Your celebration of America's moral turpitude makes me stigmata.

Any ideas for who you will employ as bodyguards, hb, after the big reveal?

Might I suggest...Ditka?

Dave S.'s "verbization" of a noun hits at another instance of moral turpitude in America.

Dave S.: 1
English Language: 0

Ditka and Lamz0r N00b.

Noobspeaker.

A "head" to "head" comparo of Sanjaya and Manny. Freaky hair - both, Seemingly oblivious - both, Polarizing - both, Childlike - both, Cringe-worthy - both, Talented - Manny goes ahead by one...

Dude, I just want that screaming crying girl from the AI audience following me around. Giving a client presentation, making a sandwich, singing in the shower: there she is, in awe, crying at how good I am... Shit, if she can get like that for Sanjaya's weakassed performance, I am pretty sure my rendition of "Greatest American Hero" will blow. Her. Mind.

American Idol = Bread and Circuses - Bread

Wait, do I need to put parentheses around any of those items? Algebra I was many, many years ago...

You cool, Aaron. Bread + Circuses - Bread totally = Circuses = American Idol.

6 + 2 - 6 = 2.

Nothing says, "Don't mess with hb!!!" like a Swinging Ball Hat.

At least FNL is on tonight. That will get us one day closer to the openah. Although this is a flaccid time of the baseball year, there's still enough good to keep us going: XM Radio-all baseball all the time.

Was Sanjaiyah going for the George Clinton look or the crazy-as-batshit look last night? Don't know and don't care.

lc

Anyone hear of some anti-AI, pro-Sanjaya website: they hate AI so they get people to vote for the most transloser.

You hate AI so you start a site to get people to watch the Circus? What's below your mom's basement?

Can I just point out that I tried to get DirecTV with NESN for my house here in the westernmost part of the USofA, and I couldn't because, and I quote, "There's a tree in the way." I can't get my friggin' Red Sox and Hazel Mae because there's a frakking tree in the way? That's right, I am siding with Liveshot Kerry on this one. Selig must pay for his asininity.

You could cut down the tree but then Al Gore and Melissa Ethridge would show up at your door and try to make you feel guilty.

The tree is causing a Silent Spring...it's all cyclical.

Just pony up and get one of these. No tree can stop it:

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b267/nicolegail/photoblog/blog225.jpg

Sonoma Sox,

I think you are referring to:

http://votefortheworst.com/

Bob, do you want to search for intelligent life in space or get DirecTV?

hb is obviously in the pocket of Big Oil after that comment.

I would massage John Kerry's feet if I can watch MLB on cable this year.

I'm sore.

I took a few roller hockey shots to the thighs and had a great save sequence that included me rolling on the ground to my left and right eventually twisting my right shoulder (stick side)...

All that and we still lost 15-6.

Howard Stern is promoting the drive for Sanjaya to win, too.

I could give a shit, although it seems WAY more fun to try to have the suckiest guy win then sitting down in front of the show to actually route for someone.

Apologies to AI lovers.

Regarding DirectTV and MLB. The Senate Commerce Committee held hearings yesterday on the current DirectTV
arrangement. I had previously sent emails to both of my U.S. Senators (I
live in Indiana) and yesterday I sent an email to Senators Kerry and Inouye
since they made comments in the hearings. It is evident as you read
Senator Kerry's remarks that there has been visible fan anger regarding this
deal. It is rare that I get this involved in an issue (it probably is a
futile effort) but I want my Sox. The information from the hearing is at:

http://commerce.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?FuseAction=Hearings.Hearing&Hearing_ID=1838

The link to Senator Kerry's email form is:

http://kerry.senate.gov/v3/contact/email.html

and Senator Inouye is located at:

http://inouye.senate.gov/abtform.html

If you feel passionate, drop them a line. Who knows? Pretty pathetic to think that I let Washington know how I feel about this deal rather than the war. I guess all politics truly is local.

hb is obviously in the pocket of Big Oil after that comment.

As I type, I have the fireplace and air conditioner on (just like Nixon... Dick not Trot).

And my SUV is idling outside just in case I need to make a quick trip to the zoo where I tease the polar bears for my jollies.

Me and Dan are old buddies. My wife met him in Afghanistan, where he asked her "where can I take a piss?" and I met him downtown, where he was checking out books in a bookstore. I shot him a message.

As a libertarian, I don't like government intervention, but MLB is given all kinds of breaks regarding anti-trust and monopoly laws, so the fact that they're turning down equal money from the cable folks to go solely with DirecTV smacks of a collusion that overrides my dislike of regulation.

I follow you, da kine, but I'm waiting for 38cliches.com to come out with it's take on the issue before I make up my mind either way.


Maybe then I'll shoot my own congressman. er, a message, that is...

:)

//Any dude who rolls with Scarlett J and Jessica Biel in the same effin week, has his "phrasing" just fine, methinks.//

longtime lurker here. Just couldn't resist pointing out that you pretty much described Jeter there, HB.

Baseball has operated on the "for the good of the game" mantra for its history: tossing out Shoeless Joe, the Gambler (Pete not Kenny), etc.

Now asshat, Selig, thinks this is "good" - if the Senate can get a hearing on 'roids they can pull the trigger on this one.

da kine - you're the 21st Century Patrick Henry: Give us baseball or give us suck ass games televised by Fox

In re: DirecTV.

It's a money grab,ultimately bad for the game, since fewer people will see the games. Unfortunately, the regulators in DC all seem to have graduated from the Regent University sandbox, so they couldn't fix something even if they could understand the issue, which they can't.

My advice? baseball on TV is overrated. Pay 14.95 and stream the MLB.com audio feed from any game you like throughout your house.

You're welcome

lc

Trouble with that theory, lc, is that the Jerry and Joe duet has been broken up and the new guy sucks. That's my view at this point anyway. I don't even know what happened - no WEEI, no Trupe. Fuuuucckk!! And the interwebs are so slow in Australia that streaming MLB TV is like waiting for the snow to melt in Lake Wobegone in spring.

And is today's strip meant to encapsulate the 'creepy' sobriquet of which hb is so justifiably proud? The title's spot on though - just 4 more sleeps!

Haven't had the chance to hear O'Brien do a game but unless he's changed can't imagine he's better than Trup & Joe.

Maybe Remy will take his drunk ramblings to radio - I'd pay for that.

Natalie made me laugh today. Very funny.

As far as the MLB-Direct TV deal. Since when does the league give a crap?

Look at their blackout rules. When I lived in the islands, they would blackout the Sox whenever they were playing ANYONE on the West Coast. Why? Because the frickin West Coast was Hawaii's "home" area. Like we could just jump in our boat and paddle the 3000 miles and go see the game.

The nonsense about Hawaii being in the West Coast blackout was actually Oceanic's fault. I spoke to (no BS) a VP at Extra Innings, and he assured me that it was the local cable company's call, and referred me to a list on their (Extra Inning's) website of area/ZIP codes blacked out by MLB or the individual teams, and Hawaii didn't appear anywhere on it. Whatevs. I'm going to be a pissed-off cat for a looooong time.

Another Bob (good name, BTW), I lived in Hawaii for a few years, and was always amazed at the strange contradictions that go on there. For instance, why does a pineapple cost more in Honolulu than Los Angeles? The answer was always, "because they have to be shipped here." Uh, what?

Same with a Japanese car, a third more money in Hawaii than on the Mainland. Maybe I'm wrong, but isn't Hawaii closer to Japan than Los Angeles?

Hey, H.B., Soxaholix got mentioned on EEI this morning. Regarding that blog contest. Just the title and nothing more, but still cool.

Ok, I don't know if anyone else had a bowl of vomit yet this morning, but CHB's view with the new staah pitcher will have you looking to get a toe-hold on your shotgun.

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