Going where the sun keeps shining

Marty:
Jeez, Callaghan, you sound really tired today … Oh, but that's right — The closer situation has left Red Sox fans tossing and turning at night. Heh heh.

 

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Bill:
I'm sleeping like a baby, Mahty, but thanks for the concern and all.

 

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Marty:
Doesn't it astound you Bill that Theo Epstein can go after JD Drew like he's Angelie Jolie going after a 3rd World orphan … so much passion, so much showering of gifts on Drew while being so blasé about finding a closer?

 

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Bill:
Well, obviously we need to fill the closer role, but I don't think that's a weakness.

 

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Marty:
Not a weakness? Not a weakness? What are they putting in the water up there in Bahstin anyway?

 

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Bill:
Despite the absence, for now, of a definitive closer, this bullpen is not that bad. It is probably the best bullpen the Red Sox have had since 2004.

 

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Marty:
Considering your '05 and '06 clubs, that's like saying the Heaven's Gate death cult wasn't as bad as the Jim Jones death cult because fewer people died but, you know, in the end everyone is still dead.

 

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Bill:
The 2006 club had a lot of life.

 

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Marty:
Bill, I hate to break it to you, but the games played in August and September actually count. Heh.

 

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Bill:
Injuries, Mahts, injuries. It's like Schilling writes on his blog, we are much better suited depth wise to handle an injury this year than last.

 

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Bill:
And the AL East team whose stahting rotation spends the fewest days on the DL ovah the course of the season will win the division.

 

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Bill:
If you've been paying attention, Mahty, you might have noticed the Boston stahtahs are looking mighty fine this spring.

 

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Marty:
Ah, yes, hope springs eternal in the Sawx fan breast.

 

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Bill:
Why not? Did you see Matsuzaka, the game's best numbah 3 stahtah, against the Pirates? 96 mph fastballs to go with the big curve, tight slidah, and Wiffleball change.

 

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Bill:
Like I said, Mahty, I'm sleeping fine at night.

 

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Marty:
Enjoy it while you can, Bill, as it's going to get really hot and muggy come August. We'll see how rested you feel then.

 

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Bill:
Can't hahdly wait, Mahty. Can't hahdly wait.

 

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Update: [Computer voice] "You've reached the office of Martin Silverstein, at the tone please leave a brief message…"

Bill:
Hey, Mahty, have you heard the news? We've got a mofo closah. His name is Jonathan Papelbon. Perhaps you've heard of him? Now whose ass is sweatin'? Heh heh.

 

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Comments

[Natalie]

Okay, Curt Schilling is discussing the Papelbon move on his blog right now... and the Sox have yet to make the official announcement.

[h.b.]

Okay, Curt Schilling is discussing the Papelbon move on his blog right now

I LOVE the interwebs!

[Natalie]

hb- I concur. God bless that Al Gore ;)

[buckner was framed]

especially since you just KNOW Curt is loving the fact he scooped some of the MSM on this....

[Devine]

I disagree that Marty's relationship/tone with Bill is static. Last year and the year before, Marty consistently gave it to Bill and Bill basically just had to take it and was constantly flustered.

Recently, it's been a more even exchange, with Marty showing the first signs of being flustered soon after the Sox got 'zaka. Bill (pre-season) has maintained his cool, and Marty's been on a more even keel recently too.

Also agreed that in real life this relationship does not change with certain types of Yankee fans. After 2004, one Yankee fan I know became more generally respectful and able to discuss baseball rationally with me. Another guy just continues to give me shit.

[h.b.]

Good point, Devine.

And speaking of Bill and Marty, well, the strip has been updated to account for current events.

[louclinton]

Is Marty an Orthodox Jewish person? Just wondering...

[h.b.]

Not Orthodox. He's Jewish the way a lot of people are Catholic, i.e, when getting married, during major feast/ceremony days, and on deathbed etc.

[louclinton]

Good to know (but not sure why).

As for Paps as closer, I agree with the comment that the Sahx are throwing everything against the wall for this year. Regardless of all other factors, it's hard to believe that Wake, Schill, and Timlin will be around next year, time being a bitch and all. Unless Mothra pitches on 17 hours rest, there's going to be some holes in the rotation in OH-EIGHT. I think it also means that Theo-san thinks that Lester is close to having the strength to start for a good part of the year. I thought Ol' Catcher's Mitt Face Tavarez looked good starting at the end of last year, but as Mahty points out today, some years the games count in August and September. I mean, in KC, Devern Hansack would be on the front of the Media Guide because he pitched a 5-inning no-hitter angainst the Orioles { Heloooooo Matt Young!].

Now that I am rambling, let me observe that the season tickets this year are revealing for whose photos are on the tickets [suggesting to me that they will be around for the whole year]-- Manny, Tek, 38, Wake, Youk, Pap, Papi, Mothra. No Nancy, Cereal Boy, Pedr0-4ia, Lugo, Belli, or the aformentioned Skeletor. As I recall, last year Manny was left off.

And, hb,, a tip of the old tampon hat to the call-back to John Lennon's former drinking buddy Harry Nilsson in the title of today's creepy strip.

lc

[soxdownunder]

'a tip of the old tampon hat' - yikes! Pithy, degenerate, surly, lovable.

[soxdownunder]

I think the move (Paps to the Pen) is a good one (but who cares!). I also have this feeling in my bones that Batshit T. is going to come good. As to the interwebs and the should-have-been-president-of-the-United States-if-weren't-for-a-bunch-of-conspiratorial southern-cheats-and-Supreme-Court-cronies I totally agree. Were it not for these I may just be some boring Ozzie cricket fan who occasionally got to watch the world series!

[Kaz]

I felt a great disturbance in the Sox, as if millions of men suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

Hazel Mae is off the market.

--insert close-up of Native American with single tear--

Blue Jays player Kevin Baker is a lucky, lucky, lucky bastard.

[louclinton]

A little clean-up: The reference to the "tampon hat" was not just a vile expression; rather, it was a call-back to the brief period when John Lennon was separated from Y.Ono and was getting shitfaced in LA with Harry Nilsson. Lennon was famously photographed wearing headgear fashioned from a tampon. Nilsson,of course died from heart attack and diabetes in the early '90's,hastened no doubt by his fondness for drink.

h.b. That SI poll is cool. I'm a slow learner,I just thought it was an online thing. But, I picked up the hard copy and there it was in the SI RS preview. Get ready to monetize the page views! We (um,me)are behind you 100%.

lc

[Billy Mahty]

I agree with Devine. And I always like the Bill/Marty strips.

(After typing that I noticed something funny.)

[soxdownunder]

As I was out waltzin’ me ‘tilda,
A runaway hyphen near killed her,
A grammatical glitch,
Put her straight in a ditch
‘Tis enough to cause shock and bewilder.

[Bewilderment don’t rhyme]
[Missed the tilda stuff earlier, too preoccupied by lc's hat]

[COD]

The poll also appears in the print issue of SI this week. There is list of the best team sites for each team.