Fit to print

In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
So have you heard the latest? Manny is teh suck.

 

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In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
Costs the Sox 30 runs a season with his poor defense.

 

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In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
What are you looking at me like that for? You don't believe it?

 

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In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
C'mon, it's in the New York Times fercrissakes, so it must be true.

 

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In a group of Soxaholix, a woman speaks:
Har-har … cocksuckahs.

 

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s

Comments

[Harwich Rich]

F*** 'em

[Harwich Rich]

Is that fit to print? :)

[louclinton]

That's just dormer being dormer.

lc

[COD]

Now I'll have Mellencamp "Pink Houses" stuck in my head all day. Thanks HB.

[Son of Hamulack]

Reporter who calls Ortiz corpulent is either too near sighted or retarded to follow the game.

[h.b.]

Sorry about the "pink house" appearing. My CSS was corrupted.

[Harwich Rich]

I don't know hb,it had a quaint New England charm.

[h.b.]

The house has been used quite a bit before, particularly in the 2004 season.

It's typically used for weekend posts, as no one is at the office.

Weekend posts generally appear during the playoffs, so that's why there hasn't been a whole lot of that since 2004.

[h.b.]

Some of you may remember that there is a church that gets used as well along with Fr. Tim at the pulpit.

[Rob in CT]

Are you freaking kidding me? I can recall numerous times over the last couple years when some opposing baserunner found out the hard way about Manny's arm. I'm sure some smart person on this board could direct our friends at the NY Times to a list of outfield assists.

I'm very happy to see Manny patrolling the Monster, thanks. Even more comfortable seeing him follow Papi at the plate. "Cocksuckahs", indeed.

[Dave S.]

I heard Manny keeps an electronic ball tracking system in his new hairnet. He should only cost the team two games on defense this year.

[Rob in CT]

Nah, Dave. He just uses the OnStar system from the car he bought at the car show a couple weeks ago.

All the kids are doing it these days...

[Son of Hamulack]

Agree with Rob. Remmy is always going on about how players round second heads-down with Manny out there and then get thrown out. So, by having a reputation for being a poor fielder, he creates outs. I'm continually impressed by how well he's gotten to know that wall. Sometimes he appears to be dogging it, but it turns out he's getting the ball on the hop off the wall and throwing it in from 10 feet closer to the plate.

[Bob]

He has an incredibly quick release. And from that short field, he doesn't need a cannon to gun players down.

And what's this about a reporter ripping on Papi?

That's just insane.

[yazbread]

Not to derail the thread, but the Globe has been running an interesting series the last two days on the Irish leaving Boston and returning to Ireland. A combination of homesickness, Irish prosperity, and a crackdown on illegal immigrants after 9/11. Part of today's series provided the following:

"And one of the fastest growing cable TV outlets in Ireland is the North American Sports Network, which allows returning Irish expatriates to get their Red Sox or New England Patriots fix."

So I am thinking of moving to Ireland (only three generations removed from Boleybrian, County Mayo) since it appears that I will have easier access to Red Sox games in Ireland than I do in Indiana, thanks to the MLB/DirectTV deal.

[Griffin]

Not just that Manny has a solid arm (as Larry Walker will attest), but he knows how to play that wall. All you have to do is watch some visiting left fielders try to deal with the Monster to realize it ain't as easy as it looks.

[Jason O.]

Corpulent is the wrong adjective...I would call Ortiz "hulking" or "stout." Perhaps "rotund," but only in the context of his nice guy image...i.e., a Dominican Santa Claus.

A note to Vanderbilt's Mens' Basketball team: This Friday night, all you have to do is not miss.

Go 'Dores!

[da kine]

I saw Papi up close in 2005, at his biggest, and that cat is SOOO not fat. On TV he looks, well, rotund, but in real life, he's just chock-full-o-muscle. After slimming down during the off-season, he probably looks dang thin in the flesh. No Gabe Kaplah, but who is?

Upon proofreading the above, is my mancrush that obvious to everyone else?

[Dave S.]

Ah, ye defenders of the Monster Mannescapades, all of these defensive systems account for whatever outs he generates with his arm via the Outfield Assist: so the -13 to -30 defensive run range includes the exciting plays you all enjoy so much. All told, Manny's a poor fielder. You may well remember him throwing folks out or playing the carom, but a fielder's bread and butter is catching the ball, and that is Manny's allergy.

It's kind of like saying that, because he's great at cutoffs and going to the outfield for the popup that Jeter is deserving the Gold Glove. Fact is, his range just isn't there. Sure he looks great with that big jumping throw, but other shortstops make that same play and throw from the set. Fact is, Jeter's average defensively, at BEST. And Manny's terrible. At best.

[da kine]

Boomer has teh diabetes. I, for one, am shocked.

[soxdownunder]

I thought the money ball people proved by science that fielding and feilding stats were worth next to nothing. When your slugging average (lifetime) is .599 (8th best in the history of history) then it must be worth nothing altogether. I'll defend Manny to the end - or at least to the end of the season when his contract runs out. This year he'll be playing for next years bucks - watch out.

Oh, and I know I'll kick myself when someone tells me but WTF is 'teh suck' and 'teh diabetes'?

From a beautiful, misty, Sydney morning in autumn...ah.

[Kaz]

Nobody likes to "give up runs", even in the statistical sense. But, hey, look at the 5-man this year compared to last year. Manny could "give up" 5 more runs than last year, but the pitching is probably going to gain back at least 10-20 anyways. In other words, we've improved so much at pitching compared to last year, that Manny has more breathing room in the field for his antics.

[yazbread]

Soxdownunder -

Evidently you and I are not 'with it'.

See:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teh

Evidently, 'teh' is just internet slang for 'the'. I thought it was a little more complicated than that - dyslexia, etc....

[Dave S.]

I'm not saying I wouldn't take Manny in a heartbeat. I'm just saying that I agree his defense blows, and big time. Plus he wears a hairnet.

I always thought of 'teh' as being some sort of to/the hybrid...as in, he's "to suck" AND "the suck". Grammatically I'd categorize it as an active definite article.

[soxdownunder]

Thanks to Dave S and Yazbread for bringing me up to speed. 'Active definite article' hmm?

To suck, I suck, you suck, he sucks, they suck, we suck. Para aspirar, aspiro, él aspiro, ellos aspiro, nosotros aspiro.

Actually that doesn't look right to me but blame the babel fish which may be a bit rusty on its conjugations.

[Aaron]

Jesus, people, get with the program. "Teh" is soooo six months ago. It's jumped the shark.

Also, the phrase "jumped the shark" has jumped the shark. Or perhaps it's jumped the teh.

I'll shut up now.

[da kine]

No way. 'Teh' is right up there with 'haxor', 'pwn', and '!!!11!eleven!" (for excitement). 'All your x belong to us' and the aforementioned 'jump the shark' have jumped the shark.

[Johnmeister]

Since we are being grammatically correct here, it's 'all your x ARE belong to us.'

Geez, nobody speaks l33t correctly these days... :)

[Devine]

"All your X are belong to us" may have jumped the shark in terms of overusage, but I still think it's effin' hilarious. And "teh" is great, too.

[da kine]

Damn you, Johnmeister! You've made a fool of me, simply because I was wrong.

I've been trying to introduce Dr. Who catchphrases into the American lexicon for a few years, but nothing catches on. Gervais' "Is he havin' a laugh?" is roaring along, and that makes fun of catchprases, but God forbid you try to get a chuckle with a Dalek reference.

[beth]

i kept looking at the date on that column in disbelief.