Building a road in gold

Susan/Circle:
I know it's only against college kids, but Josh Beckett was dominating in his first Spring outing.

 

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Tara:
21 pitches, 19 for strikes, while allowing one hit and striking out five.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Mahk my words, Josh Beckett is going to be a pitching stud in '07.

 

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Tara:
He's bringing sexy back.

 

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Susan/Circle:
[growl]

 

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Tara:
Anything and everything is imaginable in the Spring …

 

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Susan/Circle:
Schilling will drop his wintah weight.

 

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Tara:
Matsuzaka, under the tutelage of Wake, will add the knuckle alongside his gyro.

 

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Susan/Circle:
There'll be peace in the Middle East.

 

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Tara:
After contentious negotiation, Ahmadinejad will agree to halt Iran's nuclear weapons program in exchange for a permanent guest judge position on American Idol.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Holy 12th Imam, now that'd be funny. He'd make Simon Cowell seem endearing by comparison.

 

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Tara:
Yeah, picture it … "Infidel number 3. That song was too big for you and you were pitchy like the Zionist dog you are. Exit stage left to your execution by stoning."

 

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Susan/Circle:
"Seacrest, you disgraceful and wretched homo who shall burn in the fire of Islam's fury, send in the next spawn of Satan … I tell you, Paula the Whore, the real Holocaust is having to endure this dried up and rotten show."

 

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Comments

[americantrotter]

PMSL! Best in a while!

[Rob in CT]

Ahmadinejad on Idol. That's rich! "No, Simon, I disagree. The whore's ululations are enough to bring the fire of the Islamic nation's fury down upon the tyrannical regime of Israel that will one day will be destroyed. I give her a 'thumbs up' to advance to the next round."

Good to hear Beckett's off to a good start. I've great hopes for the pitching staff this year (like I do each and every year). May Allah and Jeebus fortify their arms with great strength and endurance.

[Harwich Rich]

Outstanding hb

[Natalie]

Now THAT was utterly hilarious, hb! Totally LMAO.

For some reason, my mind implodes in an excess of humor potential imagining him on the Barry Gibb/Bee Gees episode...

[IkeG]

So, was the [growl] more like a "hubba hubba" purr or a "somebody bash Justin Timberlake in the face" grumble?

[h.b.]

It was a come hither growl. The chicks love Timby. I mean c'mon, dude, bones Scarlett J and Jessica Biel in the same friggin' week?

Even Derek Jeter doesn't get that kind of action.

[Bob]

H.B. must have had a good night's sleep and laid off the Absythne last night. Excellent strip Although I have always considered Paula to be more of a trollop than a whore.

[h.b.]

Bob,

Too true. The past two nights I've taken easy with vices and as a result have been well-rested.

Which means tonight I've got a whole lot of catching up to do!

Agree on Paula and "trollop."

[Bob]

BTW, if you're into it, you might want to offer up a little prayer for the Bluffton University baseball team. Pretty awful stuff:

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2007/03/02/bus_plunges_off_ga_highway_ramp_6_die/

[da kine]

Lay of the Green Fairie. If it affects the output of the product, then it is a no-go.

[Aaron]

So, has anyone seen this Onion article?

"If what we've heard is correct, then Matsuzaka indeed possesses a Power Level of well over 9,000," said ESPN's Peter Gammons, struggling to contain his excitement on Tuesday's edition of Baseball Tonight. "Over 9,000! Which, of course, is only to be expected of the ballplayer whom sources say descended into the Underworld to spit in the flaming eye of the Lord of Hell and steal the secret power of the Onikaze, or 'demon-storm' pitch, which tails away nicely from both lefties and righties."

Bring on the Demon Storm!

[Bob]

Ooo, "Demon Storm" is a (relatively) easy sign to make up:

鬼の嵐

Actually, it translates to "Storm of Ogre."

I like that, too.

[Devine]

Last two panels: some of the funniest stuff written in the history of the 'holix.

[h.b.]

So glad to hear the Ahmadinejad as Idol judge has gone over so well.

It really helps that Ahmadinejad, with his quasi-hip style, is easily imagined in that role.

Ironically, I almost scrapped the AI bit because I couldn't at first find a satisfactory way to segue way into it with the characters.

[Kaz]

9000!!!

In case you didn't get the Power Level reference...

[louclinton]

mahalo, hb

lc