Getting by with a little help from friends

Bill:
Hey, Marts, I was just calling to offah my assistance as, you know, a coping partner to help you work through the steps your therapist recommended …

 

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Marty:
Yeah, whatever, Callaghan, like I'm worried about Matsu-sucka.

 

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Bill:
Now, see, there you go with denial …but doggone it that's…okay.

 

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Bill:
I know the quadruple-whammy of the Sox getting Matsuzaka, getting him at a bargain, getting him for six years, and humbling Bora$$ all at once has to sting.

 

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Marty:
$52 mill for 6 to join a third place organization!?!? And I thought the Japanese were supposed to be smart.

 

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Bill:
Again I'm here to tell you it's "OK" to feel that way, Mahty. You're good enough, you're smaht enough… Let me help. I feel your pain.

 

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Marty:
It's you who needs the help, Billy Boy. The Yanks have team full of givens. They know what they're going to get because they got it last year from now well-established players. Of the two new starters, one is proven, the other will be out of the six they have to choose from. The only true unknown is how the unknown 1B will do.

 

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Bill:
Thatta a boy, Mahty, release the anger. Let it go like a Bronx buttahfly.

 

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Marty:
The Sox by contrast have two pitchers that have never started a MLB game and three new position players. One of whom is a light-hitting rook. The other two will make Edgar Rentaria and Trot Nixon look good — and that's saying something. And you still don't have a closer!!!!

 

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Bill:
Oh, Mahty, puy-leeze, there's no need to shout is there?

 

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Marty:
What about unproven and never thrown a pitch in the Major Leagues don't you Sawx fans get?

 

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Bill:
Did you not see the WBC, Mahty? Matsuzaka looked rather daunting, if I do say so myself, pitching for Japan.

 

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Marty:
The WBC? Oh, fercrissakes, that's just Spring Training b.s. Pitchers are always ahead of the hitters in March.

 

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Bill:
Oh, right, of course, but wait a sec, Mahts, then how come the MLB pitching contingent didn't have the same success?

 

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Marty:
Look, even if this guy is the next Pedro. Even Pedro in '99 couldn't make up 10 games in the standings.

 

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Bill:
See, now there you go, Mahty. I wasn't going to bring up the past, being the forward looking soul that I am, but since you did … Let's just say that I'm surprised, given all that's happened [cough] '04 choke job[cough] that you continue to put so much faith in "games ahead." You know?

 

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Marty:
You still don't have a closer!!!!

 

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Bill:
Mahty, you sound really, really uptight. I think you could use a nice massage … perhaps an electric massage?

 

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Bill:
Hehhehheh …

 

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Author's Notes
Almost every line from Marty today was taken word for word from various Yankees' message boards and blogs.

Comments

[Devine]

Man, if the situation were reversed, Jason would be using so many Latin quotes right now to show us how much we were screwed by the Yanks' acquisition of (what many consider to be) the best starting pitcher available on the market. Also, my guess is he'd be pretty happy if the Yanks got DM at the price tag which the Sox apparently just did. To be fair, many Sox fans would also be saying "Look, the Yankees bought another one" and talking about the poor transition of past Japanese SPs if the situation were reversed.

I don't think I could have taken the phone call Marty would have given Bill if the Yanks had gotten Matsuzaka...

I don't know if you peaked in 2004, h.b., but you sure did have a lot of material to work with.

[Bob]

And H.B., your email friend obviously keeps coming back to the site again and again, adding to your hits and increasing what you can charge for advertising.

I think we owe the moron a big thank you.

And don't forget my comment of a couple weeks ago. Soxaholix is only going to get bigger and bigger with the addition of a Japanese fan base.

Tell the BigBri sound-a-like to put that in his basement AeroBed and smoke it.

[Dr. Kaz]

Tony LaRussa's team won the WS because the other team didn't show up.

It seems the pitching staff was too busy ruining their arms playing Guitar Hero...hahaha, stupid ass Detroit.

[Jason O.]

I'm not even keeping track of this criticism of hb, but, like Alex Rodriguez, the very fact that A receives criticism de facto indicates that A matters at some level.

Devine, in this case that's not correct. In all honesty I would have felt like I did with Matsui, only much more. That is, worry that his game translates.

[matty]

Don't really post here a lot but thought you boys might like this.

http://withleather.com/index.phtml?t=DAISUKE+MATSUZAKA [I'm adding a big NSFW!! on that one -- h.b.]

I myself have to go clean the drewl off my face

Peace
-Matty

[Ric]

"My email friend also calls the rest of you out too: "the fact that said strip has only a few regular commenters, and hasn't added to them, tells me I'm not alone [in thinking it sucks]."

every time i try to refute that guy he calls me a troll. he's pretty absurd. some people you just can't reach...

[Devine]

Fair enough, Jason...but at least you would have used Latin quotes to express your uncertainty. (I'm not knocking them or anything, just pointing out a proclivity for "comic" effect.)

[Dave S.]

The ballpark estimate for incremental revenue generated by a Japanese star of Dice-K's quality for the single franchise that signs him is about $3 million per year. So, say it's worth $20 million over the course of the contract. The posting fee is then about $31 million, say $36 million because the dollars are up front. So that's $6 million a year, say, with the $8.5 million they're giving him. $14.5 million is a very reasonable price to pay for a guy who projects to be at worst a 3 starter, and at best, a true Number 1.

The Sox did a great job here, especially in the face of Boras' Great Eye, lidless and ringed with fire. And yet Jason makes the excellent point that Dice-K hasn't done anything in MLB, and nothing's certain. I seem to remember Kaz Matsui translating wonderfully to MLB. Same as Hideki Irabu. Dice-K just might blow them all away. But there is a real alternative there, and it has precedent.

[h.b.]

I think the worry Jason speaks of is very valid. I do have worry.

But...

I'd rather be worried from this vantage point, i.e, he's pitching for the Boston but may not be worth the hype, then the converse, i.e., to have him signed with the Yankees and be worrying that his game is going to translate and then some.

Know what I mean?

[nick]

"Those redsox caps, shirts and jackets dont go for free ya know. as boras said d mat is a national treasure and red sox nation just expanded to the land of the rising sun BIG TIME!!"

FYI, All revenues from merchandise sales are shared across all MLB teams. The Yankees benefit from the sales of hats with Bs on them as much as the sox benefit from the interlocking NY.

[jnd]

"The ballpark estimate for incremental revenue generated by a Japanese star of Dice-K's quality for the single franchise that signs him is about $3 million per year."

That makes no sense. Fenway is already near capacity almost every game. Where are you going to put those extra fans? are you talking about TV deals through NESN in Japan?

[Dave S.]

Totally, HB. I myself see this as a big-time for the Red Sox. I'm just really impressed and even psyched to see Boras blubbering because he couldn't screw someone, even if said someone is the Red Sox.

Nick, despite that, the incremental stadium ad-revenue and few other elements associated with a presence in the Japanese market accounts for incremental revenues of roughly $3 million per annum for said specific team, according to the various financial reports I've seen.

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

"Everything is relative."

Not so much: Pi, e, 0, and i.

[Harwich Rich]

... and here I thought the off season was going to be dull. Silly me :)

[Dr. Kaz]

FYI: When looking for safe pics of DM's wife, do not google image search for DM's wife's first or last name separately ("Tomoyo" OR "Shibata") unless you have your SafeSearch set on. Together is okay, there's only 1 result and it's her. Apart...not so much, but plenty of messed-up Japanese porn to go around.

[Bob]

NESN just HAS do do an anime ad campaign for the Sox next year.

The possibilities of heroes, villians, and hot animated picther's wives are endless.

Roger Clemmens could be Astro Boy.

[dabdiputs]

your email friend neglects to factor in that there are plenty of people that read the strip and the comments but can't always keep up (in terms of speed or wit) with you all. but i suppose any forum has plenty of those.

here's an interesting take on our new star from the (mf)nyt:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/14/sports/baseball/14blood.html?_r=2&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&adxnnlx=1166118420-7m+Dvk4tboCvf7U2RATfCA

[mikeya2k1]

FYI, All revenues from merchandise sales are shared across all MLB teams. The Yankees benefit from the sales of hats with Bs on them as much as the sox benefit from the interlocking NY.
while that may be true im sure that larry was there doing some other deals that would be of a benifit to the sox only and of course my point still remains its all money that works to lessen the posting fee

[Monty]

I read & love it every day. I just dont get to read it till later in the day being on the left coast. Most of the stuff I think of while reading the strip comes out in the comments so I dont want to be redundant. (Im guessing no one will read this, but go on to Fridays strip.)
Im excited over the new guys we got. I do not expect to run away w/the east this year. But we sure got a good chance to win it and wont make it easy on the MFY.
I also find it funny that JO always makes some sort of "oh yeah, well..." comment whenever there is an anti MFY strip...but he always cracks me up.
Oh and the MFY blogger is just jealous he didnt think of it first.