Mike:
OK, I'm secure enough in my manhood to confess to tearing up several times during the media Matsuzakathon yestahday.
Susan:
For reals. Even frickin Boras had the happy face on.
Mike:
Seriously. Maybe Matsuzaka was his Cindy Lu Who and his haht grew three sizes that day after years of being grinchy and stealing clubs' roast beast?
Mike:
Boras/Boris... Hmm what an eerie coincidence?
Susan:
Now speaking of odd juxtapositions …
Mike:
You know I love it when you talk dirty.
Susan:
Ah, as I was saying, how's this for irony: We learn that Matsuzaka "is an oversized man-child, a playful (if not Mannyesque)" kind of guy and who places a high priority in keeping his personal life private and finding a "comfortable living environment" for his wife and child.
Mike:
So, of course, it makes perfect sense that he signed with Boston, because, you know, it's not like we have any issues with that or anything.
Susan:
Are you kidding me? After Old Ironsides, hopelessly weak presidential candidates, and jimmies on ice cream, what this region is most known for is how we go out of way to give our sports celebrities lots of space and lots of nurturing.
Mike:
Truly. And our media is the exemplar in this regard, especially when it comes to oversized man-childs being oversized man-childs, who, as we know, are lavished 24/7 with a bemused jocularity by sportwriters like Shaughnessy and Callahan.
Susan:
The next six years are going to be so seriously serene.
Mike:
Yes, and to ensure it, as we speak the smaht Red Fans are creating layers of redundancy in the nefarious supply chains leading to their preferred illicit and lawless mood altering drugs.
Susan:
As they say, don't bogaht the sticky green monstah.
