Irasshaimase

Tara:
I love that the bid for D-Mat wasn't 51 million, wasn't 51.1 million, but was 51.11 million … It's like The Price is Right game show.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Theo Epstein come on down! You're the next contestant in the Boras Switcheroo Pricing Game.

 

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Tara:
Theo better have his Wonderjock on as the conventional wisdom says Boras is looking for 3yrs at $20 mil a year. Combine that with the 51.11 bid and that's a lot of yearning for yen.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Reports suggest the Yankees make $20 million a year marketing the Matsui brand in Japan … Of course those reports come from Scott Boras which is about as unbiased as getting reports on Israel from Al Jazeera.

 

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Tara:
Or getting sabermetric analysis from Joe Morgan.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Ouch.

 

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Tara:
But seriously. Matsuzaka vs Matsui, the gyroball vs juicy Giambi, Red Sox v Yankees, the greatest rivalry in all of sport? The Japanese fans are going to price that action like Kobe beef.

 

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Susan/Circle:
Yeah, and wait until the harajuku girls get a look at Quadzilla.

 

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Tara:
Ka-ching!

 

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Comments

[Scott]

I would like to thank the baseball gods for the troll police.

I love this deal and all the Japanese media craziness that will ensue.

Too bad the Sox don't play in Denver this year.

Yet another excuse to head out to the bar to watch the Sox this spring.

[jdog71]

Better yet, how long before the next drunken ex-pitcher "analyst" blurts out some thinly covered ethnic slur about small penis size factoring into pitching dynamics in some way?

[Bob]

H.B., I predict it'll come out as "guy-ro ball."

[Bob]

And I also predict that Fenway will add a new concession booth:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.mattbarrett.net/photos/gyro.JPG&imgrefurl=http://www.mattbarrett.net/photos/gyro.html&h=400&w=300&sz=63&hl=en&start=9&tbnid=_eHdD__IpOZ4wM:&tbnh=124&tbnw=93&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dgyro%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D

[Son of Hamulack]

I like Ultraman... then for every strike-out, the fans in Fenway all stand up and strike the open hands crossed at the wrist cross-hairs style Ultraman unleashing a spacium ray pose.

Besides, Godzilla typically beats Mothra.

[tessie]

Howdy y'all. Haven't peeked in for a while what with the Browns on a tear and all...hey, at least they were able to beat the Jets!

Anyway, I love this news. It's done and we won and let's have ourselves a wonderful pitcher. I'm all for it.

[Bob]

What about Rodan?

He's an artist, AND a prehistoric reptile monster.

[harwich rich]

On another note the Pats picked up Testaverde-LOL

[Jason O.]

This Japan festival reminds me:

We fight a huge war with that country:

That had a society/culture/religion totally alien to the west, steeped in a suicide/martyrdom dynamic...

That was basically in the dark ages less than 50 years before that war...

...and less than 50 years later they have totally assimilated in to the global fabric of nations.

One can only hope that the middle east in general wakes up and smells the coffee.

[Kaz]

Those Gee-roball sandwiches...what do you think they'll price them at, Bob? $8.50 per 5" pita?

Aha! We've suddenly solved the mystery of the $50 million! Gee-ros for everybody!

SNL Farley as a Greek: You like-a da juice?

Borat: High five!

[Aaron]

To those who think the Sox are spending way too much money on Matsuzaka, I can only say: they're going for a pitcher. Period. Who would you have them spend that money on instead? Barry Zito?

Yeah, me neither.

Out here in Seattle, the locals seem rather upset that their team didn't make a stronger bid (or any at all?) Considering how aggressive the Mariners are with courting the Japanese market, it is somewhat perplexing. The general consensus is "Ahh, those damn East Coast teams with all their money. How can we compete?" Which would be less humorous if the Mariners weren't owned by Sony.

[Bob]

Kaz, I think $8.50 is being kind to the good folks at Aramark. My guess is $10.00 for a Gyro-ball sandwich. If everybody visiting Fenway buys just one during the course of the season, that'll be approximately $30 mil right there.

[Griffin]

//think of what 38 million (+ the 40-50 he'll get in salary) could have bought...//

What would that have bought? Barry Zito, who regularly gets his head pounded in by the Yankees? Pass.

So what's the alternative to Matsuzaka? Ted Lilly? Gil Meche? Jeff Suppan? Puh-lease. Or hey, here's an idea - trade half the farm for some mediocre "proven" veteran. I for one want to start holding on to the kids.

Matsuzaka is the best pitcher on the market. He's going to cost money. The Sox can afford him. I don't see the problem.

[Son of Hamulack]

Sorry to go back to getting serious... but one thing bothers me about all the WTF $50MM is too much talk. Consider it from Theo's perspective a week ago. Do you bid $32MM?

I don't think anybody would be griping at that price. No, at that price, the Yankees will get him for $40MM. Do you bid $40MM? No, the Yankees could still get him for $41,000,00.

The questions isn't whether you spend $50MM... but do you spend the extra $10,100,00 to make sure that you get him and that the Yankees don't. That's the same $10MM you didn't think Damon was worth. The same $10MM you didn't think Petey was worth. I think Ultraman's worth it, and the Yankees are going to have to trade their Sanchez, Ramirez, and who knows who else to get a fourth and fifth starter on opening day to follow Wang, Musina and Zito.

[NV in SD]

"The Sox spend more than that every year on Fenway upgrades, Dominican facilities, maintaining minor league facilities, etc. Nobody ever says, "Oh, don't improve Fenway...then we won't be able to sign a top-line outfielder."

And, above the din comes a voice of reason.

Thank you, Bob, for point out something that 1. copmpletely destroys MJ's argument of baseball v. business decisions and 2. makes the decision to post %51 mil sound even more rational.

With all maryj's talk of circle jerks and asian condoms, I get the sneaking suspicion that BigBri might've had a sex change...

[h.b.]

FYI: Mary J has been banished to the troll equivalent of Elba, so unless she circumvents the block (which as we know isn't too terribly difficult) you won't hear any more from her for a bit.

[Kaz]

BTW, I wouldn't be suprised to find a pair of Wonderjocks on "maryj"...

It's the kind of name a stoner might take if they were acting like a weed...if you know what I mean.

[Aaron]

"MaryJ" is no more an actual, living, breathing, three-dimensional space-time occupant than "BigBri" is. They're both characters, alter egos created by the wily puppetmaster H.B. for the purpose of stirring the pot when commenters start agreeing too much.

That's my theory, anyway, and I'm sticking to it. Because the alternative explanation is that "MaryJ" and "BigBri" actually exist, which is too depressing to seriously contemplate.

[mikeya2k1]

JUST IN CASE hey hb. ya know how you occasionaly revisit past strips? well please save todays just in case, it could come in real handy around the 25th of july ... oh btw. im on the bandwagon for this guy too, might even try (gasp) sushi

[jen in HI]

Mornin' team. Wow. I totally missed out on the mj redundant-a-thon. I like how you guys went from (yesterday) "ok, yeah whatever", to " jeez, enough already" to "girl can beat a dead horse" to "enough". and then the law was handed down from HB, and it was good.

I like the fact that we might end up with a tight as a drum pitching rotation in 2k7.
And I love the "Creature Double Feature".
I think the Asian market would be a great place for the Wonderjock. Perhaps a trend for the male equivalent of the Harajuku girlies.

[birthofasoxfan97]

I was happy to hear about this deal. For the first time since about mid-August, I got excited about a Sox news item. What a long, lethargic Fall.

Maybe we can tie him to a Yugioh! dragon...perhaps Berserk Dragon, because "This card can only be Special Summoned by the effects of "A Deal with Dark Ruler".

[birthofasoxfan97]

Oh, and the Berserk Dragon is apparently from the "Dark Crisis" set of cards.

[h.b.]

I second that feeling of being excited and rejuvenated again.

And, you know, that's worth something as a return on investment, too.

I tried to be jazzed about the Renteria signing back in the hotstove leading into '05 but I never really felt it.

Beckett? Yeah, that felt good.

But really you have to go back all the way the the Schilling/Theo Thankgiving in Nov 2003 to find a time when I just wanted to open window and shout, "Fuck yeah! Red Sox, baby!" over a deal (or in this case a potential deal.)

[Dave S.]

The only thing I'd worry about as a Sox fan would be if this limited their flexibility elsewhere with any real significance. But that's it. It's definitely exciting...Ultraman clearly seems to be the cream of the FA pitching crop this year. And as you all (well, mostly all) point out, it's also a bone for all of you...you haven't had a juicy one thrown your way since Ortiz signed his extension.

[harwich rich]

If nothing else it will be worth it just to see someone light a fire under the rest of the pitching staff.

[Rob in CT]

//"MaryJ" is no more an actual, living, breathing, three-dimensional space-time occupant than "BigBri" is. They're both characters, alter egos created by the wily puppetmaster H.B. for the purpose of stirring the pot when commenters start agreeing too much.//

Nice. Had me laughing out loud over here, Aaron. Conspiracy theories make me chuckle so. SO, whadda ya think? I'll bet hb's posting from the grassy knoll even as we speak.

Oh, and yes, I'm completely on the Mothra bandwagon. (I for one will continue to refer to D-Mat this way. I always liked Mothra better than Goh-zira.)

Dave you bring up a good point. It really IS nice to have something to feel excited about during the hot stove. I'll be getting Mothra-Sox tshirts for a couple people this Christmas season. (Bet they'll be available, ya think?) Is this the way Yankee fans feel every time Steinbrenner goes the distance on a player?

[Dave S.]

I think for some it is, although the extra-distance hasn't translated into championships for some time now. Moreover, the Yanks have been playing something of a joyless brand of ball for a few years now. In addition to the payroll criticism, you also have this ridiculous pressure every year. The looseness is gone...A-Rod is the very perfect example. He shits diamonds as his asshole clenches with the pressure. His LIPS are blue. They're all playing not to lose, and each new major acquisition has added to the pressure of it all.

So no...I don't feel so good about it anymore. But the Yanks have been doing this for some time now. I liked it back in the late nineties, but honestly after they lost in 2001 I was hoping that they'd take a breather and rebuild. They've done nothing but add fuel to their critics' fire since then, and haven't brought back another championship. It's kind of the worst of both worlds.

[Kaz]

Steinbrenner: Come, Dave S., see for yourself. From here, you will witness the final destruction of the Yankees and the end of your insignificant fandom.
[Dave's eyes go to his light saber]
Steinbrenner: You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take your Jedi weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.
Dave S: No.
Steinbrenner: It is unavoidable. It is your destiny. You, like Red Sox fans to the Red Sox, are now mine.

[Dave S.]

Ha! As per usual, fine work Kaz.

[Son of Hamulack]

Another thought. Do the Sox bring back Gabe Kapler so that Ultraman has a Japanese friend on the team?

[Bob]

Mr. Kapler very, very found of his time in Yomiuri.

Himachi very fresh, girls very friendly.

[Brian]

Another positive note on Mr. Matsuzaka--the scouting reports I'm reading online all seem to agree that he tends to use his breaking stuff a lot, and goes to it as an out pitch fairly often, especially his slider. Given our hair-pulling at Beckett's refusal to use anything but his fastball all year long, it seems like a welcome change to have a pitcher where opposing hitters aren't just sitting on his fastball all game long.

[Rob in CT]

Ah so, Bob. Dey ruv you rong, rong time!

Kaz - "Great, kid. Don't get cocky!" lol!

Hamulack - It's Mothra, dammit! :-D

Dave - As usual, cogent thought-provoking perspectives. Thanks. My thought would be some worry that Mothra gets booed if he goes 2-4 with an era of 4+ in his early starts. I hope that the $$$ don't inflate expectations above reason. As a friend of mine pointed out in an email Slappy showed a line of .290, .392 OBP, 113 R, 35 HR, 121 RBI in 06. Only boo-able because of the money.

Of course he also points out that a rotation of Shilling, Beckett, Paplebon, Matsuzaka and Wakefield should take us deep into the postseason provided we find someone to replace Paps in the pen. I don't see the Sox pooping diamonds in the same way you describe their counterparts in the Bronx. Hope it never gets to that point with our boys.

[Boras...Borat...whatever]

Wa Wa Wee Wa!

Ok, good, so we all agree, yes?

Matsuzaka for make benefit glorious nation of sox of red? Nice?

You pay Boras much money and I gives you sexy time with asian man? Yes?

No? What wrong with that? You don't like asian man? I also have crying American who also claim to be Dominican. He has small testes satchel but large shoulder move, you like?

Dzienkuje! Asian man, it is! You will like, Boras know personally! Give $50 million to team of Lions. No, they no bite you.

Wa wa wee wa! I did not expect you to actually pay that much, Henry, owner of glorious nation!

High Five!

[Cape Codder]

//Dzienkuje//
Not Kazah (?) word at all. It's Polish. Not sure where they pulled this one out.
And yay! for splurging on Matsuzaka! Once in a while you just have to buy something good and expenssive to make yourself feel good.