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Help me, I'm flaming, I must be a hundred and nine

Marty:
Hey, Callaghan, the Jets are in ur house out-playing and out-coaching your d00ds.

 

Bill:
Ah, jeez, Mahty, are things so bad for you ovah in Yankee fan land that you're having to bandwagon on the always woeful Jets now?

 


Bill:
Well, Mahts, if I were you I'd be more focused more on Daisuke Matsuzaka than Eric Mangini because, you know, last time I checked your stahting rotation consists of Wang and, er, Wang.

 

Unknown Yankees fan:
How and the hell did King George let the Red Sox outbid the Yankees for Matsuzaka?

 

Marty:
Yeah, well, don't count your sushi before they're rolled, Callaghan. That's still just a rumor.

 

Marty:
And even if the Sawx did have the highest bid, mark my words, Billy Boy, there's no way Matsuzaka suits up in anything but the Pinstripes.

 

Bill:
Listen, guy, you might want to call your doc and get your meds adjusted because I'm sensing some delusional symptoms from you.

 

Marty:
Look, Matsuzaka said he only wants to play for one team: The Yankees. Just like with Contreras. Think Theo is going to break some more chairs when he loses out again?

 

Bill:
This isn't the same as signing a Cuban defectah, Mahty, there's this little thing called "negotiating rights" when it comes to Japanese playahs.

 

Marty:
Doesn't it bother you, Callaghan, that nobody ever, not once, has ever said they wanted to play for your Sawx first? I mean, fuck, even he of the faked bloody sock wanted to be traded to the Yankees and not your guys before he was mythologized as the second coming on Yawkey Way.

 

Bill:
Yeah, Mahts, I'll grant that the Yankees are iconic, but so is Mickey Mouse.

 

Marty:
I hope you don't bust a nut, Bill, from all this backpedalling you're doing.

 

Bill:
Look, when the prime ministah of Japan came to the United States recently, he wanted to visit Graceland not The Freedom Trail, but I think John Adams' and Paul Revere's legacies are intact.

 

Bill:
But, you know what, Mahty? I think there are some real similarities between the white-sequined jumpsuited Elvis and your Yankees: Both are old, fat, and drugged up with their best years long behind them.

 

Comments

One other similarity between the Skanks and old, fat Elvis: they both croaked in a toilet bowl.

Classic last panel! And a Mahty smackdown on top of it all. I'm just hoping the Matz rumors are true...

Mahty and Big Bri sound uncannily similar. Could they be clones?

Love the strip today. Too bad you couldn't work in E's 40 pound impacted colon vs. Smackie's inflated ego.

One hopes that Big Brianna will be drawn into this one. It's kinda slow here today....would love to see h.b. school him on web metrics another time.


lc

Wow! Taking a couple of days off did you some good, hb! Nice exchange ... well-balanced, with decent points on both sides. I'm thinking that Mahty's a little sharper than Lil Bri, though.

//the Yankees are iconic, but so is Mickey Mouse//

SNARF!!!! Oh, I wish I had a dime for every time you made me spit coffee all over my monitor!

Great strip. H.B!

Wasn't Snarf a Thundercat character?

I particularly like how Marty clearly reads the NY Post, that fine and upstanding daily. Huzzah to clean journalism!

Still, the Yanks rotation looks a bit better when you consider Wang, Mussina and Hughes.

I had the same thought as Dave S. - I'd have to include Mussina in that list of good Yankees pitching. Still, great last frame. Damn near did my own spit-take. Fat Elvis and the Yanks -- more top shelf stuff from Brachen...

re Mussina

He filed for free agency, you know? So technically he is not on the Yankees staff until he is resigned by them.

Bill per the link in his speech to the Baseball Musings post is referring to players who are signed for next year and are healthy as of today.

Now the Yankees may very well resign Mussina, but as of now, he's not on the Yankees.

Would that be Sara Hughes or her younger sister Emily pitching for the Yankees? Does being able to hit a triple axle transfer to the ability to hit the strike zone?

Awesome comment, Bob.

Mahty's caustic statement about no one wanting to come to the Sox cut deep, because I think it is largely true and I wish someone in the FO would work harder to FIX THAT (although I think fixing it might require overpaying marquee players in their twilight years- letting the big guys know that they'll always be taken care of- and I don't think Theo et al, with their baseball-as-business mindset, will ever be willing to do that).

I am praying the Matsuzaka rumors are true. Sounds as though we may know by 8pm tonight...

Nothing on Schilling's Celebrity Jeopardy appearance? Fodder for future SNL skits, I am sure. "I'll take Anal Bum cover for 400, Alex..."

...HB, I guess technically speaking it's true. But in shit-talking currency for Bill, it's got about as much buying power as the Thai bhat. I'm not saying that the Yanks rotation is great shakes, I'm just saying it isn't only Wang, and that Bill's line's got a bit of the "wuh-wuhh" limp trombone thing going on. Cashman's actually done a pretty good job of loading up his high-level A affiliates with solid, cheap talent, live, fungible arms.

Ryan...a strange brand of insult...I can't quite figure if it's because you haven't heard about Philip Hughes at all, or if you're...what are you saying exactly?

ESPNRadio is quoting Mussina's agent as saying re-signing for two more years is "imminent". Of course that brings out the old saw about "I know my agent is lying, because his lips are moving." Guess I technically jumped the gun as ink is not on the contract yet, but I can't imagine the Yankees letting him get away.

Nat - hilarious comment. I missed Schill's Jeopardy exposure. Any place to go to get a recap? How about the Nat-aholix blog?

re Mussina part 2

But in shit-talking currency for Bill, it's got about as much buying power as the Thai bhat.

Don't forget that the Soxaholix is also a weblog in addition to being a comic strip and, to that end, it serves the purpose of linking you out to what other baseball bloggers are saying. You can interpret this as the characters themselves saying that on their own or the characters having read someone else's blog post and are repeating it back as part of the conversation.

But, either way, the purpose is to link out to other blogs.

In my original conception of the site, EVERYTHING the characters said was meant to be taken from something already written on another blog. Didn't work out that way, of course, but I still try to keep that notion in mind whenever I can.

Meanwhile, if you want to argue the merits of Bill's assessment of the Yankees rotation, I suggest you do so with David Pinto over at Baseball Musings who penned the original thought.


Rob- Ah, I'll leave the blogging to hb and any witty recaps to lc, I know when I am outclassed. That said, there has to be some hilarious joke to be found in the fact that Schill had his ass handed to him by Gay Matt from Melrose Place and the mom from Malcolm in the Middle. Here's the Boston.com link to the high(low?)lights...

http://www.boston.com/partners/worldnow/nesn.html?catID=80767&clipid=1057379&autoStart=true&mute=false&continuous=true

Hell, HB, I'm just trying to talk some baseball and joke around a bit. Why the hammer?

Oh, didn't you know it was "Hammer time"?
Fresh new kicks and pants.
You got it like that now you know wanna dance.

Seriously, didn't mean for the "hammer," just meant to be a friendly reminder of one of the ways the characters say what they do and that what they say when closely examined won't usually stand up to the harsh light of logic.

By the way, I fully expect when all is said and done that Marty is right: Matsuzaka will be pitching for the Yankeesin 2007. Unless the Yankees know something the Red Sox don't and chose to pass on really going after him. Because, seriously, no way do the Red Sox outbid the Yankees if the Yankees really want a guy. Just doesn't happen.

Nat, please to not refer to me and h.b. in the same sentence. He is a genius. I'm just having fun.

lc

//Oh, didn't you know it was "Hammer time"? //

Can't touch this! HAHAHAHA! (Whew, I crack myself up).

Nat - thanks for the link. Pitch in the dirt on "The San Francisco Treat"?? Yeesh!

Lou - Stop selling yourself so short. False modesty is not very becoming, even in one so gifted as you. :D

Dave, I felt my comments fell into the "joking around" portion of commenting and not the "baseball talk" portion. Eh, maybe not so much.

Please, Hammer, don't hurt me...;)

...I wonder if Matsuzaka is even going to be worth it. What's he going to cost just to talk to, something like $30 million?

I think the plan for any club is to make that money back by way of increased merchandise sales in Japan. Sounds crazy, but that's what I read.

...well, if Wang and Matsui's outsized popularity in their home countries are any indicator, then it probably isn't that outlandish. But I thought that all foreign-sold merchandise was split up evenly among MLB teams...so each Yankee cap sold in Japan dumps cash into everyone's coffer. Am I mistaken? There must be something about TV rights that gives the club the real benefit...

Classic... the yanks are just like Mickey Mouse... Over-rated. and both Walt and the Babe continue to roll... one is just colder than the other!!

Could you argue that Matsuzaka is more valuable merchandise-wise for other teams than for the Yankees or Mariners? As Dave S mentioned, the Yankees are already a very popular team in Japan due to Matsui, as are the Mariners due to Ichiro (I would assume). I would think that the marginal benefit of adding another Japanese superstar player to these two teams is much lower than for others.

I did read in one of the Boston rags that, if the Sox win the bid, they think they can recoup the money through merchandise. Don't know if they're blowing smoke...

How many replica jerseys does it take to recoup $90 million?

Considering how much they seem to be going for these days, plus the fact that I have heard things tend to cost more in Japan ... like 5?

COD- given today's prices, I'd say, um, four? :)

IkeG- great minds...

Further proof the 9/11 bombers and Corey Lidle all failed in their missions - Marty lives.

What I love about the Bill / Marty exchanges is that Bill clearly is not in a position to just ignore Marty. Marty must be some kind of VP / Director / Boss type in the same company. The only thing he can do is throw it back in the old man's face sometimes.

Which brings to mind a question: is Marty as nasty as he reads? He comes across as pure evil, but could his comments be read as a generous portion of corporate ribbing?

I had a boss once who was a big time Yankees fan and looked for any way to rub salt in a wound or two, but he was sensitive enough to wait until someone left him with an opening to do so. I could never expect a call from him to tell me the Yankees did what they did, but I had to go to lengths to avoid him for a few days after a big game.

M

I would submit a crazy bid to block the Yankees, were I the Red Sox. Based on last year's finish, there's no way the Sox can allow the Yankees to improve that much given the relatively weak slate of FA pitchers available otherwise.

Also Selig would never betray his boy Henry by stepping in if (when) it becomes clear that they have no intention of serious negotiations.

Gamo hears that the Sox bid $42MM for Matsuzaka.

Nice article on the merchandising of Ichiro in Seattle. It seems MLBI sells the international merchandise, but the team can still sell "authentic" merchandise from the staes. NHK re-broadcasts the Mariners games (which I would guess goes to MLB).

I think the real opportunity for Larry to bilk the Japanese is $50,000 a pop package to see the game in the EMC box and have Sushi with Mutsuzakisan. Sell 20 seats to 40 home games and you've got your $42MM.

What I want to know is does that count toward the luxury tax?

PBS /POV had a Great documentary about high school baseball in Japan. link here:
http://www.pbs.org/pov/pov2006/kokoyakyu/

and my other diversion today has been:
http://shadowdane.shackspace.com/cats.htm

I am well aware that this is off topic but too spaced out after lots of days off.

I'm a fews days late here (been out of town) but this is a cracker of a strip. Doff cap and so on.

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