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Goldglover, A spiders touch, such a cold finger ...

Doug:
Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Derek Jetah won the Gold Glove at short!?! What the hell?

 

Arturo, the hot dog vendor:
Yeah, well, both Fishsticks Paltro and Cher have won Oscars for best actress, so whad'ya expect?

 

Doug:
I dunno, I just expect a little more integrity from MLB than I do from Hollywood.

 

Arturo, the hot dog vendor:
Ah, integrity … you mean like Barry Bonds single season homah record or Raphael Palmeiro testifying before Congress?

 

Comments

Integrity? You mean like Yawkey being in the Hall of Fame?

What bugs me is the gold glove is decided by managers and coaches, not by fans. There is no way Jeter was a more effective fielder than Gonzo. This is just man love for a charismatic player, unaffected by stats or anything else.

Bet Jeter's boyfriend is excited about this.

M

Jeter's actually had a few average defensive years in a row now, much, much better than he used to be. But they're just that...average. I'm sure many here are certain that the award should go to Gonzalez. Perhaps. But these awards are essentially meaningless, anyway. Speaking of Palmeiro, remember when he won the 1B Gold Glove in 1999? Having played 28 games there? It's a joke.

Comparing Jeter's Gold Glove to Bonds shooting steroids??? H.B, your 'characters' have hit an all-time low. Who gives a shit about Gold Gloves anyway? All those awards are all B.S. Just tip your hat to the man and go about your business.

Oh that's right, I forgot. You guys are BAH-STAHN fans. Bitterness is as much a part of you as pinstripes on a Yankee uniform.

The sad part is, when I heard ESPN (begrudgingly) announce (from their headquarters in SAWX CENTRAL) that Jeter won the award, I KNEW how the Soxaholix would spin it. Bitter and predictable. Is this how it ends, H.B?

Anyone who thinks Jeter, or any other SS for that matter, had a better defensive year tha A-Gon must live in his mother's basement.

Sure, GG, Yawkey is a great example. (You won't find any Yawkey love around here.)

And, oh, here's another Red Sox example, "Get those N*****s off the field!"

Is it me, or do the Yankees fan attempts at denigrating us get more feeble by the day?

I think I could lose half my brain to a stroke and I'd still have the ability to hurl more caustic barbs toward my own team than these guys could ever muster.

//Is it me, or do the Yankees fan attempts at denigrating us get more feeble by the day?//

I think it's you H.B.

Looking at the bright side, let's all take a moment to feel the November warmth of the schadenfreude's glow at how Jete's GG must make ol' Slappy McBluelips feel today.

**rubbing hands together**

Mmmm... Hey somebody pass me another marshmallow.

I feel cheated. Mr. Eko dies and we have to deal with BigBri talking about Jeter?

Ah, BigBri, so grateful you could step in to help prove my point.

Your timing is impeccable. No wonder people sometimes accuse me of being you.

But, that, of course, is one of the greatest insults ever leveled at me here, since, if I were to play the role of the Yankees fan troll, I'd be quite a bit better at it than what I've seen so far from you lot.

Yeah, I saw yesterday here in the comments that Eko died so now I have zero interest in watching that last 20 minutes of Lost on the DVR. :)

Hence, no Lostaholix for that episode.

Bringing up Yawkey/Hall of Fame wasn't an attempt to denigrate you or your fellow Red Sox fans, Mr. Brachen.

Just an attempt to put the Soxaholix outrage over Mr. Jeter's debatable GG award into perspective.

Sorry if it touched a nerve.

H.B - you've never been accused of underestimating your own abilities. You seem VEEERY secure in the knowledge that you're the smartest kid in the class. Just ONE of the reasons this here blog has tumbled recently.

"A man's work is in danger of deteriorating when he thinks he has found the one best formula for doing it. If he thinks that, he is likely to feel that all he needs is merely to go on repeating himself . . . so long as a person is searching for better ways of doing his work, he is fairly safe.

EUGENE O'NEILL"

But what the fuck do I know. I'm just a Yankee troll...

BigBri...where do we even start?
"Bitterness is as much a part of you as pinstripes on a Yankee uniform..." Um...pinstripes on a Yankee uniform are really not part of me, I'm happy to say. "As the hair protruding from your ears" would have been a slightly more effective analogy.

Also, you completely missed the point of the post. It was about the integrity of baseball in general, not some Gold Glove vs. Bonds Steroid-Enhanced numbers comparison.

Does calling out Sox fans because they disagree with the league wide ass kissing of your Esteemed and Mystical Yankees make you feel better for having everything handed to you on a silver platter as a Yankees fan? Is bowing out of the playoffs without your predisposed Championship making you more bitter than usual?

Gonzo was better at his position than Jeter, and most AL shortstops. Jeter somehow won ...probably because of his offensive numbers...which leads one to question the integrity of an award given for "superior individual fielding performance"....simple enough for ya?

BB, what was your blog again? I want to visit and absorb the intelligence.

I must admit I gave up on Lost a long time ago. Got tired of running around that Mobius strip.

Was that really an example of "outrage" in today's strip?

Here's a hint: When I go outside the office and bring in Arturo the hot dog vendor, it's typically because I don't think it's an issue worth discussing in the office. It's usually a day when I don't have much to say and I'm feeling pretty ambivalent.

If there were true outrage, today's strip would have
1) Been set in the office and would have involved some combo of Bill, Doug, or Mike.
2) It would have been longer than 4 panels.
3) It wouldn't have mentioned Cher.
4) It wouldn't have made its main insult at Rafael Palmeiro but instead would have kept the focus on Jeter the entire way through.

If you want to see the Soxaholix "outrage" please refer to their feelings toward Peyton Manning or two lesbians who wear strap on dildos.

Maybe I should create a dumbed down version of for some of you Yanks fans to help you out?

Or better yet, maybe someone can create a spinoff "Soxaholix explained" blog similar to this Marmaduke explained blog?

I'm all for helping out those with special needs.

Here at the Soxaholix we believe No Reader Should Be Left Behind, even if one is a Yankees fan and even if one is struggling with some aspects of mental cognition.

It takes a village and damn it, we'll do whatever it takes!

Bri-
If Soxaholix sucks so bad, then why don't you move on to the corn harvest blogs or something and leave us the fuck alone? From my casual perch, interest here, as measured by both quantity and overall quality of posts, is definitely on the upswing- a fact that can only be attributable to the quality of the original material. Go away- or at least suffer in silence

"... so long as a person is searching for better ways of doing his work, he is fairly safe."

The handful of you who know my real identity probably just busted a nut over that one.

Ah, BigBri, if you only knew...

And, while I know I'm not the smartest one in the class, I'm very assured that I'm better at this particular game than you are.

It may take a little more than a village, hb...I'm thinking a few years of intense psychotherapy to get over the denial of '04 might help...with some electroshock thrown in just to satiate my maniacal bitterness.

JDog - If I ever need your help with analogies, I'll give you a call. Until then, just sit patiently by that phone... like a 16 year old girl on a Saturday night (did you catch that one? OfCOURSE you did)

H.B - yours is a tried and true tactic but it won't fly down here in New York. Here's how it goes - you say something ridiculous (like Jeter winning the GG points to a lack of integrity on the part of MLB). Then you point to OTHER ways in which MLB has failed to clear the bar when it comes to integrity. The implication is clear - Jeter winning the GG is on par with Bonds winning the HR title by shooting steroids. **THEN** when folks call you out on what a ridiculous statement you've made you backpeddle and split hairs with regard to how you might define 'outrage' within this pitiful little world you've created.

That might work in Beantown, but not out in the real world. Where the chowder is RED....and delicious.

I always thought subtle subversion was a much better approach to trolling. Ah, well.

Back to the actual and interesting topic of integrity in baseball: I really don't think that the players and coaches voting for Jeter lack integrity. I think, rather, that they buy the same media hype that is generally peddled about Jeter: he's a classy winner, who plays the game the "right" way, leads his team, has great instincts. Much of that is true. What clearly isn't true is that Jeter is the best defensive SS in baseball. But the players and the coaches disagree. Almost to a man you'll hear other coaches and players fellate Jeter on his defense. Why do they believe it? Who knows. It's probably the same reason that seasoned guys like Dusty Baker think that slow guys with high OBP are bad for an offense because they clog the bases. Basically, these guys are poor analysts of the game. But that's different from them lacking integrity...it's simply ignorance. The same can be said for the Baseball Writers who determine the Cy Young and MVP awards. They're simply not good analysts. They blow hard and pretend and focus on the hallowed "Little Things" but generally are just dumb as shit, and vote for the guy with the most RBI, or the pitcher with the most wins.

Doug:
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Derek Jetah won the Gold Glove at short!?! What the hell?"

Was this really an example of "outrage?"

The majority of AL managers and coaches might consider that "outrage," but (according to the Soxaholix) what do they know?

"I think I could lose half my brain to a stroke and I'd still have the ability to hurl more caustic barbs toward my own team than these guys could ever muster."

What does this say about you and your team? Nothing to brag about there, Brachen.

Oh, and here's a hint for you: if you want to denigrate Mr. Jeter, go for it, and don't do it half-assed. That's an insult to his greatness, and even to your readers who would agree with you.

with some electroshock thrown in just to satiate my maniacal bitterness.

In honor of where the title of today's strip is from:

BigBri: "Do you expect me to talk, Goldfinger."

jdog71: "No, Mr. Bri. I expect you to die."

To me, Dr. Evil's rendition of "I expect you to die" has eclipsed the original. Right up there with my favorite: "Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes, Mr. Powers? I designed them myself."

That Marmaduke link is hilarious, rampant copyright infringement notwithstanding.

I'll try explaining the first panel of today's creepy strip to Asshole:

A fine looking fellow is stopping by an outdoor food emporiuum run by a pleasant, but older, man, who is a native of Portugal. The older man is ingratiating to his customer, who in turn feels empowered to share with the older man his disgust at the fact that Major League Baseball awarded a prize recognizing excellence in fielding to the gentleman (Derek Sanderson Jeter) who plays shortstop for the New York Yankees, notwithstanding the proven fact
that he has the field range of a Sub-Zero home appliance used for cooling food. In so expressing himself, the customer is invoking the first names of (in turn) The Son of God, his mother and the husband of his mother (the Son of God, not the suited man in the picture), who nonetheless conceived the aforementioned Son of God thanks to God, himself. The genial customer's use of the first names underscores the depth of his perplexity over the choice for the award.


Got that, Asshole?

lc

My point wasn't to cloud over that I think it's ridiculous that Derek Jeter won the Gold Glove for short.

I do.

But it's not that big of a deal. The Golden Glove award in general is kind of joke as are most awards. Hence the reference to the Oscars and some of their questionable choices.

And it's not like Red Sox fans are alone in thinking this. As Dave Pinto writes, "The voting process for the gold glove is bad."

I'd say exactly the same thing about the Oscars, the Grammy's and the selection of prom king at BigBri's high school.

But it's not truly an "outrage."

And, as far as strips go, it's not nearly as much fun, not even in the same ballpark, as making fun of Slappy McLips.

But, honestly, I didn't have anything else to write about.

And I only got four panels out of that.

Now if you really wanted to insult me you'd probably focus on that, especially considering I had no strip at all the past two days.

But, save it, as that would actually only "touch a nerve" if it came from one of the regular readers.

I know you can read my thoughts, Bri.

Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.

notwithstanding the proven fact
that he has the field range of a Sub-Zero home appliance used for cooling food. In so expressing himself, the customer is invoking the first names of (in turn) The Son of God, his mother and the husband of his mother (the Son of God, not the suited man in the picture), who nonetheless conceived the aforementioned Son of God thanks to God, himself. The genial customer's use of the first names underscores the depth of his perplexity over the choice for the award.

Now THAT was funny!

And now, thanks to LC, I no longer feel badly about a 4 panel strip.

I feel like somebody finally attached some frickin laser beams on the heads of piranhas!


What's really ridiculous is that it's the THIRD year in a row for him.

Maybe they're using one of those Diebold e-vote machines?

//And, while I know I'm not the smartest one in the class, I'm very assured that I'm better at this particular game than you are. //

I'm sure you do, H.B., I'm sure you do. And here, surrounded by the twelve or so Soxaholix keyboard sniffers, you'll get plenty of folks to agree with you. But it doesn't make it so.

I think Joan Cusack said it best in that classic 80's film - Working Girl. "Sometimes I dance around my apartment in my underwear...Doesn't make me Madonna...Never will".

Keep dancing H.B. Maybe someday...

Oh, I got the strip, Louie. No need for your writing exercise to impress the teacher. Your longwinded and unnecessary explanation doesn't make today's strip any funnier or more enlightening.

Comparing Mr. Jeter's fielding range to a kitchen appliance? Desperate hyperbole.

Got that, bitchboy?

Do you win Gold Gloves for intangibles?

Must be tough for ARod to 'swallow' given that he won two GGs at short before moving over to 3rd as a Yankee and would probably have had a run of many GGs had he stayed at SS.

This morning I was hoping the strip would provide tales from the corporate leadership seminar front. I think today's strip is quite well done given that that HB appears to have been subjected to two days of obfuscating corporate doublespeak.

//Oh, I got the strip, Louie. No need for your writing exercise to impress the teacher. Your longwinded and unnecessary explanation doesn't make today's strip any funnier or more enlightening.//

Holy shit, these fuckers really don't get it, do they?

Lucky Louie

Let's get this straight. Big Bri are you really suggesting that D.J. was the best defensive shortstop in the A.L. and deserved the Gold Glove? I'm sure you would have trouble passing that comment on any teams blog, becides a skankees blog. If you do believe this I think you are the one not living in "The Real World".

As a resident and taxpayer of the city and state of New York, I'd like to clairify Big Bri's comment. First: Manhattan clam chowder tastes like ass. Second: the real world is NOT in Mommy's basement.

Can we all just shut the hell up and talk about Lost now?

Best/worst episode ever. Next they're going to kill Locke, and then I'll REALLY have no reason to watch anymore.

I love the Marmaduke thing as well, laughed out loud. Is there something similar for Family Circle? The snark that strip could generate would be fantastic.

I hereby nominate lc to write the Soxaholix explained blog. (Although explaining actually complex and witty humor ala hb's is not as ripe for humor as explaining the truly inane. So perhaps we- more analagously to Marmaduke explained- need a "BigBri comments on Soxaholix explained" blog.)

Jay - I thought "Yankee Trolls" were the only ones who didn't get it? Can you read?? Here's a quote from my original comment:

"Comparing Jeter's Gold Glove to Bonds shooting steroids??? H.B, your 'characters' have hit an all-time low. Who gives a shit about Gold Gloves anyway? All those awards are all B.S. Just tip your hat to the man and go about your business."

Is there ANYTHING in that statement that indicates I think Jeter deserves the award?? Anything that indicates that I even give a shit about the award???

I can EASILY see how A-gon deserves the award. But comparing Jeter winning the GG to Bonds winning the HR title is just plain stupid. So I said so. Maybe I should create a spinoff - BigBri's comments explained. Perhaps it takes a 'village idiot' to make you folks understand...

I think Jeter's crazy plays in the playoffs the last few years have given him many miles of respect from the league. If it's any consolation for you guys, it seems unlikely that he'll win the Hank Aaron, gold glove, and then the mvp. I think he just racked up a couple of consolation prizes.

lc - very funny

Arturo is one of my favorite characters.

//So perhaps we- more analagously to Marmaduke explained- need a "BigBri comments on Soxaholix explained" blog.)//

Natalie - Independent invention - even when it is developed by folks as diametrically opposed as you and I is always a cool thing.

Cheers

In other news, I think the fact that Bri's initials are B.B. is appropriate.

1) Completely non-lethal from a harmlessly juvenile toy, and makes me want to shoot my eye out.

2) Borrelia burgdorferi is the bacteria responsible for Lyme disease...infection of Bb gives you a headache and fatigue.

3) BB also stands for Barebacking...that must mean his partner is the one bending over.

I got a million of them...

In still other news, Typepad needs a preview button.

Kaz: at least in Firefox 2.0 you can now spellcheck what's in the box...

I would now like to blog my explanation of bb's post:
//Natalie - Independent invention - even when it is developed by folks as diametrically opposed as you and I is always a cool thing.//

Brian is saying the we can't prove he didn't think it up himself and he would like to make out with one of the few female posters on the site.


lc

//JDog - If I ever need your help with analogies, I'll give you a call. Until then, just sit patiently by that phone... like a 16 year old girl on a Saturday night //

A scenario I'm sure you are very familiar with.

Kaz, he quoted WORKING GIRL. Nuff said. Must be that time of the month for "Big".

Long time lurker here, hb, and this site always gives me a laugh.

-JD (sox fan in NYC, and yes, Manhattan chowder does taste like ass)

I know, I know, we're not supposed to dignify the trolls by addressing them, but, truthfully, I'm taking the day off to have new countertops installed, so I've got a bit of time and besides, even if it's not a fair fight, sometimes you just have to call people out...

OK, BigBri, I'm not sure what you're using as a measuring stick, but let's go mano a mano here a bit regarding blogs.

Here's your blog: Red Sox Nation Haters

Now rather than focus on intangibles, as is the norm with your poster boy Jeter, let's look at a few tangibles of measuring a blog's worth.

1) Searching for your blog on Technorati reveals nothing. No interest, no links, nothing. (Here's the Soxaholix results.)

Point goes to: Soxaholix. 1-0 Soxaholix.

2) In the Truth Laid Bear blog egosystem of traffic your blog is not listed. (Soxaholix">http://soxaholix.com">Soxaholix on the other hand ranks #7163)

Point goes to: Soxaholix. 2-0 Soxaholix.

3) Searching for Red Sox Nation Haters on Google, your blog doesn't make the first page of results. Meanwhile the Soxaholix results.

Point goes to: Soxaholix. 3-0 Soxaholix.

4) Searching for BigBri on Google reveals this guy #1, Brian Fields, who isn't you. So even among Yankees fans named "BriBri" you're a nobody according to Google. Searching for Hart Brachen on the other hand...

Point goes to: Soxaholix. 4-0 Soxaholix.

5) On Alexa, your blog doesn't register. But Soxaholix does.

Point goes to: Soxaholix. 5-0 Soxaholix.

6) You have no ads. Now this could be because you refuse to take them, granted, but it's more likely because your site gets so little traffic that nobody would pay for any. Soxaholix makes and continues to make money off of ads.

Point goes to: Soxaholix. 6-0 Soxaholix.

7) You're on Blogger and you've done nothing except to choose from one of the basic templates. You don't even use any images. You don't have your own URL pointing back to Blogger. How lame is this? Well, if you have to ask...

Point goes to: Soxaholix. 7-0 Soxaholix.

8) On your blog, I see no praise from other serious players in the blog or baseball world.

Point goes to: Soxaholix. 8-0 Soxaholix.

9) Doing a google search of "pages that link to" your blog, reveals only 4 results. Well, actually only 3 since one is from your own Blogger profile. How bad is it that not even other Yankees blogs link back to you? Wow. (By way of contrast...)

Point goes to: Soxaholix. 9-0 Soxaholix.

10) You've not been featured by the newspaper with the 2nd largest circulation in the United States, hell, you've not even been mentioned by any MSM source at all, not even in your local rag.

Point goes to: Soxaholix. 10-0 Soxaholix.

11) You've won no blog awards nor been nominated for any.

Point goes to: Soxaholix. 11-0 Soxaholix.

12) Your blog is not listed in Wikipedia.

Point goes to: Soxaholix. 12-0 Soxaholix.

Should I go on or do we invoke the mercy rule?


BigBri lists his interests as "Tending to my Johnny Damon voodoo doll"...I think you can count "REGULAR UPDATES" as 13-0 Soxaholix.

No, please continue, h.b.


I am now going to blog on the meaning of h.b.'s last entry:

Mr. Brachen is in essence saying to BigBri

Bwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh haha

I was thinking about the Gold Glove award. The problem is that we're not thinking of context. A-Gon...one of 9 guys that almost beat the MLB record for least team errors for the season (66 errors; record is 65 by 2003 Mariners). How do you stand out in a crowd like that? Clearly, you're not notable when you've got "...Mike Lowell committed six errors in 463 total chances; shortstop Alex Gonzalez misplayed seven of the 475 fielding chances he had; second baseman Mark Loretta was so sure-handed that he fielded all but four of his 639 chances cleanly; and first baseman Kevin Youkilis made five errors in 1,035 fielding chances."

But look at Mr. "I take great pride in my defense" Jetah. Slappy dropped his shoulder and watched 24 errors hop over it in 382 tries. When you're standing next to that catastrophe, 15 errors in 610 chances makes you look like you're the reincarnation of vacuum inventor and president, Herbert Teewilliger Hoover.

As a sick, sick note of outrage: The 2003 Mariners that set the league record had 4 Gold Glovers that year. 2006 Red Sox; none.

Well I'm rather upper class high society
God's gift to blogdom notoriety
And I always fill my blogdom
The event is never small
The social pages say I've got
The biggest blog of all

I've got a big blog
I've got a big blog
It’s such big blog
And it’s dirty big blog
And he's got big blog
And she's got big blog
But we've got the biggest blog of them all

And my blog is always bouncing
My blogdom always full
And everybody comes and comes again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
Great blog of fire

I've got big blog
Oh I've got big blog
And it’s such big blog
Dirty big blog
And he's got big blog
And she's got big blog
But we've got the biggest blog of them all

Actually TypePad does offer the preview button but I took it out. :)

I'm against the preview button. I don't see what the difference is between proofing your work before you push the "post" button and pushing a "preview" button to then proof your work. Know what I mean? Just don't push any buttons until you're really ready.

I always try to go with the "less is more" option.

H.B. - please stop! You are embarrassing yourself! The blog was discontinued exactly ONE YEAR AGO, today. I turned out the lights when Theo put on his gorilla suit and walked out the back door on the SAWX.

THIS, is how you measure yourself against others??? Google searches and Alexa listings? Please go to a mirror and place your thumb and forefinger in the shape of an 'L' on your forehead. This was NEVER a debate about 'My blog vs. your blog'. I can understand your need to change the subject given the ASS KICKING you've received from me today, but still...

This is about YOUR blog and it's steady decline due, in no small part, to your inability to concentrate on your love of the SAWX. You focus too much on hatred for the Yanks and this hatred clouds your (otherwise clear) thinking. Take a look around at the awards and the write-ups. They are all from '04 and '05. Nothing recent. Your glory is fading like that '04 championship. More and more faint with each passing day...

From BB's wet-fart he calls a blog: The Red SAWX are no longer relevant. One and done. Paper champs. Not worth the trouble. And I encourage you all to follow my lead. Turn your backs on Boston.

Hypocrite. Something h.b. is not.

14-0.

As for the preview button, h.b. It's seriously hellish to vette html tags in plaintext in a 40-char-wide box (most URLs these days have more than 40 chars in their domain name). Maybe I'll just have to find a greasemonkey script or plug-in that lets me preview submissions (for more than just this site).

HB,

No need to invoke the mercy rule. You delivered a KO. Let the corner men come in to claim the body.

// You focus too much on hatred for the Yanks and this hatred clouds your (otherwise clear) thinking.//

Direct quote from the poetic "Red Sox Nation Haters" 'blog':
"we focused our hatred and reduced a championship baseball team (Sox)to a pile of rubble. Hats off to us!"

I guess, in your world, you have varying degrees of hatred,and focused hatred is not that same as judgement clouding hatred? Douchenozzle.

h.b. - you forgot one:

You're a Sox fan who has a blog about the Sox.

BigBri is a Yankee fan who has a blog about... the Sox.

Game, set, match.

When assessing fielding, a focus purely on errors, even significantly on them, is pretty shortsighted. It's nice not to make them, sure, but I'd rather have someone with great range who made errors than someone with crap range who occasionally threw it away. Errors are just another example of a play that should have been made, but they're really no different in outcome from, say, the ball up the middle that Jeter doesn't get to, which is recorded as a hit.

Put it another way, the Red Sox didn't make a lot of errors. Okay, but take into consideration all non-HR balls that were hit into play against them...that is, all plays that could have been made by the players in the field, non-HRs, BB, K or HBP...and as a team, the Red Sox were fifth worst in baseball, allowing the hitter to reach base at a .320 clip. That includes their errors. Of course, the Sox play at Fenway, which favors hitters, and their pitchers were line drive machines, so they're probably more average to average +...but their defense, while clean of the error, really wasn't as great shakes as many like to think it was.

This was NEVER a debate about 'My blog vs. your blog'.

Really? That isn't what I take away from this?

H.B - you've never been accused of underestimating your own abilities. You seem VEEERY secure in the knowledge that you're the smartest kid in the class. Just ONE of the reasons this here blog has tumbled recently.

And I responded with:

"And, while I know I'm not the smartest one in the class, I'm very assured that I'm better at this particular game than you are."

The "particular game" was blogging, BigBri.

And, as it goes, you came back with:
I'm sure you do, H.B., I'm sure you do. And here, surrounded by the twelve or so Soxaholix keyboard sniffers, you'll get plenty of folks to agree with you. But it doesn't make it so.

It's pretty clear when you say "the 12 or so..." that you were implying this blog is not very popular.

So, BigBri, I had to call you on it.

And as for "it's steady decline" well, again, it's really a question of what metrics you're applying.

The traffic has increased on this site every month during the regular season since inception in April 04. Yes, we take a traffic hit during the offseason (all one sport focused blogs do) but even that has seen growth: '05 offseason had more traffic than '04, '06 is on pace to beat '05.

The 05 ad revenue was larger than 04 by a factor of 5. My '05 revenue was such that I had to declare it on taxes and, to give you some sense of that dollar value, it was 7% of my total income and, as it happens, I make a pretty good wage at the day job. And the '06 revenue increased from '05...

So those are tangibles, BigBri. You may feel you don't like the site as much or that it's declined, but those are "intangibles." And, frankly, who cares what you think?

If some of the regular readers and Red Sox fans feel that way, well, that's a different story.

But again, the metrics all show increased traffic, increased page views, etc. etc etc.

As for the no recent awards, well, that's true. But I do believe the same could be said about World Series victories for a certain team in the Bronx.

And seriously, you can't really expect the site to get attention like a feature story in the Wall Street Fucking Journal every day? That's a once in a lifetime kind of thing.

Any your point was?

Oh, yes, the horrible ass kicking you gave me. Whew. Yes, you sure showed me!

From one of my earlier posts:

"//And, while I know I'm not the smartest one in the class, I'm very assured that I'm better at this particular game than you are. //

I'm sure you do, H.B., I'm sure you do. And here, surrounded by the twelve or so Soxaholix keyboard sniffers, you'll get plenty of folks to agree with you. But it doesn't make it so. "


Thanks for proving my point all you Soxaholix out there.


Jdog - While I applaud your use of the term 'Douchenozzle' (evocative, to the point, etc.) I'm saddened by the fact that I have to point out the obvious to you again - My blog never CLAIMED to be anything other than a place to 'hate the SAWX'. H.B.'s little venture can't make the same claim...

HB, one of my wife's policy professors in grad school was fond of saying (in a taut Pakistani accent), "But it is like swatting a fly with a ballistic miss-yle".

My "little venture" is doing just fine, BigBri, that was kind of my point.

More readers every day. You can look it up.

And, of course, each time you visit and comment, you help the Soxaholix page ranking and increase my ad revenue.

It's a beautiful world.


Hitters reaching base don't equate to plays that "coulda/shoulda" been made. Hits off the Green Monster, hits to shallow right field, etc...there's plenty of ways to get to first that don't involve sub-par fielding. Even an amazing baseball team can't reach *every* ball put into play.

When your pitching gives up fat pitches, the other team is going to put them places on the field in order to get on base. Places that nobody's going to field. Opponent OBP is more about the pitching than statuesque players.

In the meantime, I really found this blog's take on the issue hilarious.

//The "particular game" was blogging, BigBri.//

Actually, the game I was referring to was 'commenting'.

//It's pretty clear when you say "the 12 or so..." that you were implying this blog is not very popular.//

Actually, I was referring to the number of people who post regularly. Don't be so touchy, H.B. I have no doubt that traffic is fine around here.

As for ad revenue, etc. I'm glad this is working out for you. You work hard at this here blog and it's nice that it's providing you with some greenbacks. That doesn't speak to the quality, however. I know you don't want to talk about 'intangibles', but honestly, when was Sienfeld at its best? In the beginning, when the show was on the brink of being cancelled all the time? Or at the end when they were making money hand over fist?

Have a great weekend H.B...

BigBri, I'm saddened by the fact that you felt the need to devote time and effort for hating something so much when blogs like Soxaholix devote time and effort to creativity and humor. Most of us would agree that we don't dislike the Yankees team NEARLY as much as we dislike their bloated, bitter, 'entitled' fans, and that really doesnt take much effort when it comes right down to it. If you approached the rivalry with the same amount of class that your team claims to have, maybe it wouldnt be so easy. I fart in your general direction.

Kaz...the reasons you site are pretty much why I take the Sox up from 5th worst to average or average +. Fenway creates hits. Opponent OBP is more about pitching when you look at walks and home runs inclusive...the stat I referred doesn't. It's balls in play, balls available to the defense. Low error total notwithstanding, the Sox defense just wasn't the creme de la creme people seem to think it was.

Jdog - there are no more 'entitled' fans in the world than in Boston. Fans that produce signs that say 'Buckner we forgive you' are the MOST entitled sunsofbitches on the planet. Really. You can look it up.

I actually thought Seinfeld was at its best the season of the Moops and John Cheever and Cubans. What was that, season 4, '92/'93?

Meanwhile, so now all of BigBri's comments need to be prequalified as only referring to the comments to any given strip?

So BigBri is the master of all Yankees fan commentators on Soxaholix?

Hmmm... I think Jason O. might find that amusing. Or to use Jason's fave language, caveat lector.

Funny, too, how none of the regular Yankees fan commentators ever come to BigBri's defense.

Ah, well, onward we go with our little venture...

BigBri, I'd say the "1918" signs and Ruth references that were jammed in our faces for years point to a bit more of a sense of entitlement on your part than forgiving Buckner's blunder does on our part....but that would be a logical assumption, and clearly that is not what we are dealing with here.

Dave S., I'm going to bet that Wily Mo Pena single-handedly had more to do with how many outs were not made from balls-in-play than the rest of the team combined. Add to that the loss of our best CF for most of the season. I can't find some of the numbers right now, but I'm guessing that fly balls were our bane this season and that we smothered anything on the ground. Letting the OF shadow the triumphs of the IF by looking at total team stats in that regard is a bit disingenuous.

I may be in the minority here, but one of the reasons I was disappointed for AGon being totally jobbed in the GG rankings was that it was important to HIM. I remember an interview with him late in the season when he still had only 4 or 5 errors and he admitted that winning the glove would be very special to him, since he prided himself on his D (knowing, of course, that he's never gonna win a batting title). So, even though WE may feel it's a meaningless award, I wanted him to win it because he gave us more than we expected this season, and in a professional, classy way to boot. Plus, he was just the superior fielder. I, for one, would like to see the same left side infield in '07

Sharks with laser beams on their heads? Allegorically speaking, BigBri doesn't even have ill-tempered sea bass...

Manhattan clam chowder does indeed taste like ass. God, I laughed out loud reading that.

Dave - Nice AC/DC riff! Musta been fun putting that one together, if only for the chance to read the original lyrics in the process.

I've been enjoying today's friendly banter, but are we sure that it wasn't the lesser known Gold Plated Glove that Jetah won which is awarded to the player who is the very best at making routine plays LOOK spectacular. I think we can all agree that he's at the top of his game in this category.

Jdog - How does '1918' or a 'Ruth reference' point to entitlement? Please. Help this poor village idiot out by expanding on this line of 'reasoning'.

H.B. - Your legs must be WORN THE FUCK OUT from all this backpeddaling today. You are CONSTANTLY attempting to redefine the argument. When did I ever say I was 'the master of all Sxaholix yankee posters'???

//Funny, too, how none of the regular Yankees fan commentators ever come to BigBri's defense.//

AGAIN, you attempt to define success in a way that is soooo sad. I know Jason is a smart, witty guy. I don't need him to jump to my defense. I wouldn't know or care if he did.

Once again, I'm glad this is working out for you H.B.


Kaz- my point isn't that the Sox infield is overrated (although most defensive metrics I have seen suggest that they aren't the golden calf they are made out to be). My point is that errors as a means of determining defensive value is. Errors are, by themselves, a pretty meaningless stat.

Do they even have ass-chowder in Chillicothe?

Rob...it's one of MS Word's actual benefits, the search and replace thing. But thanks, it was fun, anyway! It's really such a great, fun song. I love AC/DC...they've got the tongue in cheek thing down so well, and I remember reading a great interview with Angus, who described the guitar riffs and solos he did as being designed for young people who wanted to be able to play their music...he wanted to make their stuff accessible to other aspiring players.

And BigLie's secret is out; his name is Rod Cameron:

http://www.thetoque.com/031202/liveparents.htm

I kind of like the way you define success, BigBri127:

1) It isn't about popularity.
2) It isn't about recognition among your peers.
3) It isn't about money.

No, it's all about you coming over and telling us how smart you are, how your arguments are killing us with wit, yet you offer nothing to back this up except your own imagination.

It's admirable in its own way, though kind of pathetic, too.

I hope in your real career, you have some higher standards to gauge your abilities than your own opinion of yourself.

If you were a singer (perhaps you are), I'd suggest you try out for American Idol since so many hopefuls there also seem to have no ability to discern the difference between thinking they are a good singer and actually being a good singer.

You'd be one of those crying to the cameras after being booted by the judges, "What does Paula Abdul know about singing? Her last hit was in the 80s. And Simon is dumb. And Randy is fat. And I'll show them all when I have 5 super mega hits. Fools. Mommy, hold me."


//I hope in your real career, you have some higher standards to gauge your abilities than your own opinion of yourself. //

Ahhh, H.B. if you only knew...

You are correct in that I am defining success in terms of QUALITY. NOT money, NOT recognition, NOT popularity. The fact of the matter is, in my opinion, the QUALITY of this blog has suffered recently. Specifically, the quality goes down whenever you make lame attempts at lampooning the Yankees. Which, if you notice, is the only time I drop by here to comment. Otherwise, I read your stuff - especially the Lostaholix stuff (when you can resist attacking the yankees), laugh and move on.

Okay, stupid question: are we going to have to go through all of this again if Jeter wins MVP?

When, Dave, not if.

The writers like to go down on Jeter even more than managers and coaches.

Truth be told, he deserves the MVP a lot more than he does the Golden Glove.

Holy crap! Fishsticks Paltrow, a Portuguese hot dog vendor, Marmaduke, Jetah, sharks and piranahs with lasers on their heads, BigBri missing the point and making sophistic arguments, and louc dropping it like its hot. Thanks guys. I love starting my day here.

"Starting my day here."

I remember when I lived in Honolulu. It's quite strange to be 5 or 6 hours behind the rest of the country.

Do the local news stations have weather men yet? When I lived there, the weather was so consistently great, the anchor just came on at the end and did the whole "mauka showers" routine.

BigBri127,

You're not my target demographic. So the more you find the quality lacking, the more I'm most likely doing the right thing.

In that sense, you're a great bellwether.

BTW now that you said you like the Lostahoix stuff, the more I think I should probably drop that.

jen in HI,

The time difference serves you well althought reading the strip at your end might be like arriving at the scence of a fire that has been burning for hours.

On EST, I am hitting the refresh button from 9:00 am onwards. On the days that the strip is posted later than usual, I am like a junkie wondering if it is going to be a bad day.

Okay, stupid question: are we going to have to go through all of this again if Jeter wins MVP?

Naw, once is enough on going through this.

When Jeter wins the MVP, which he will, I'll just delete any and all of BigBri's comments.

Oh, how could you, censorship! We've touched a nerve! H.B. is a pussy!

Blah blah blah fish biscuits.

I like the Lostaholix stuff hb. Don't let that troll force your hand...although it'd be nice to come here without being tagged 'village idiot' by someone who probably has a tough time remembering to breathe.

I'm a lot like Jen with the arriving on scene late usually, but it makes the time spent here much more intriguing as I never have to be disappointed at only 4 panels & whatnot as the comments, especially the conflicts, keep going & going. I smile for my own entertainment, as much as for H.B.’s success, when I get to the end of the strip & see 70+ comments posted.

And anytime I see that BB (the Big Baby in my book) has surfaced, I just smile cause he’s such a tool (& clearly doesn’t have a clue as to this obvious fact) so the hits against him just keep on coming. If he were in my 5th grade class I would feel a pull to protect him from himself, but this is so anonymous, & since he truly asks for it, I get to sit here & smile bigger.

Thanks for the ever-cool blogging H.B. – Keep up the good work!

"weather today and the rest of the week moderate trade winds, highs in the mid 80's, windward and mauka showers." same as ever, Bob, though yeah, there are weathermen now.
yaz, you are absolutely right. On the upside I don't have to stay up very late to watch late night TV but sadly I miss a lot of Red Sox games because I'm at work.

Bob and Jen, speaking of Hawaii weather, did you ever see Triumph the Insult Comic Dog from Conan actually doing the weather report in Hawaii? One of the funniest things I have EVER seen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Frg5L_BxY3Q

http://www.progressiveboink.com/dugout/

The Dugout has a pretty funny take on the Gold Glove today too.

BTW, a google search for "jeter gold glove" results in a few Yankee fans (with no stats/facts) lauding him over the past three years...and a billion "how can JETER win (another) GOLD GLOVE" links on baseball sites all across the internet.

Oh my god Natalie...that is totally funny. So so true. We're in the middle of 3 days of shame right now!!!

Haha, jen in HI, he said you're suffering under 3 days of shade...hahaha, but I like your version better.

Actually, Kaz, Triumph said shame. Jen- glad you liked it. I have seen it about 10 times and I laugh out loud each time...

H.B. - You're not in my 'target demographic' either. Much like you, I know I'm on the right track when you and the rest of your flock zero in for the attack. It means I've poke yet another hole in your anti-yankee logic.

IcePrincess - You'd never need to protect me sweetheart. And, if called upon, I doubt you'd be up to the task anyway. I can't think of any higher praise than to be known as a 'tool' by a bunch of bitter SAWX fans..

Have a GREAT weekend everybody...

Okay, wait, I take it back... Kaz, on repeat listening, maybe you were right that it's shade. Hmmmm, I always heard it as shame. Oh well. Still funny. :)

BYE "big"! Have fun tending to your Damon voodoo doll and memorizing lines from "Working Girl" this weekend!

HB,

Can we take a poll on creating a kill file at your end? And then occasionally we can vote people off the island?

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